Chapter 7.

I can't believe Spike is back...

Sunnydale CA, Buffy's house (9.15 AM)

Buffy woke up on the couch, looking around her.

'Lorne, Xand, are you guys here ?'

Nobody answered. Looking at her clothes she reconized them from the morning after the wishes. Not only was she back in Sunnydale, she was also trown back in time. She quickly realised why. The effect of the wishes had been reversed, which meant that she wouldn't spend today in the Magic Box looking for answers, or going to LA. She was back in her old life, and today was all about facing the consequenses of her night with Spike. If she was lucky...

She was hoping that Xander wouldn't remember, but she doubted it. Since her own memories of the events were vivid. Her conversation with Lorne came to mind and she wondered how it was possible that she had been in love with Xander for so long without her knowing it. She smiled, her life was a mess right now, but at least she loved again. She was quickly getting used to the feelings. They were alarming, but they were real, and after the lack of feelings in the last couple of months she was happy about that. She went into the kitchen to get some breakfast, thinking that her last breakfast had been more fun. After she finished eating she wanted to go upstairs when there was a knock on the door. Opening the door, she found Xander on her doorstep.

Xander was hoping that somebody else would open the door. Of course, he wasn't that lucky. Buffy opened the door, a scared expression on her face when she saw him. He could understand why. He had woken up in his own appartment, with Anya cuddled up next to him. Wondering where Lorne and Buffy were. At first he thought that he had been dreaming, but he quickly dismissed that. This were memories to real to be a dream. He looked at Anya, relieved to see her. He stared at her for a couple of minuts before he decided he needed to see Buffy. And so, here he was. He cleared his throat.

'Why Buff ?'

She instantly knew what he meant. He remembered. Her fear turned into panic. But somehow she sounded calm.

'You still remember ?'

'Yeah, I still do.'

There was a uncomfortable silence. Neither knew what to say. Buffy because she knew she didn't have an explanation for him. Not one she was willing to share anyway. Xander because he was trying to control his emotions. Telling himself that this was Buffy, that she must have had a good reason. Than he remembered that she didn't have any reasons when he asked her in the Magic Box. He prayed that this time she would.

'You wanna come in ?'

'Why not.'

He walked in. Turning to her.

'Tell me why Buff. Make me less mad at you.'

She flinched at the anger in his voice. Almost believing that maybe the truth wasn't so bad afterall. She decided against it. He didn't need a declaration of love right now. There was nothing he could with it, he was in love with Anya. But she had to tell him something, she would lose him if she didn't. Already hating herself for it, she decided to tell him a white  lie.

'I was afraid of losing you.'

She spoke so soft he wasn't sure he heard her right. She was afraid of losing him ?

'What ?'

It was the only word his mind could think of. She continued.

'I thought that you marrying Anya would take you away from me. I mean... you have a wife pretty soon...and maybe you wanna have children. And you will realise that staying in Sunndale isn't going to be safe for your family. Especially staying in Sunnydale, hanging around me...and you'll decide you have to go. For their sake...and I will lose you. And I just need you guys to much....all of you. I guess that is why I made the wish. But you have to believe me when I tell you that I didn't do it on purpose. I would never hurt you on purpose.'

Her eyes were pleading with him. He was still trying to register what she had told him. A bit hurt that she would think that she could ever lose him. But also relieved because he could understand why she did it now. And he knew that him understanding would save their friendship.

'Buff, remember what I told you in Lorne's club ? When you were afraid of losing me if I would still know you wished Anya away.'

She nodded. He gave her half of a smile.

'I'll repeat it again. You can't lose me. Never. And if I ever decide that I wanna leave Sunnydale you still won't lose me. I love you guys to much. Don't you know that ?'

She almost gave a sigh of relief at his words. She could tell that he was still mad, but she also knew that they could work it out from here. Because he understood.

'Why are you always such a good guy ?'

'It's a gift I have. It's why women find me simply irresistible. Combined with my good looks of course.'

She laughed. Because he was joking again. Always a good sign.

'Of course Xand, of course...'

He got serious.

'We need to talk about this some more Buff. Well not about me being irresistible, but about the wish you made. We need to talk this out. I don't want this standing between us.'

'Me neither.'

Sunnydale CA, Buffy's house (12.15 AM)

They had spend the rest of the morning talking. Both felt that it done them good. They hadn't been to nice at each other at times, but it cleared the air. And they knew that their friendship had survived the crisis. Right now they were on the couch, laughing.

'Oh, come on Xand. You were mean.'

'I was not.'

'You got the audience to join you in the 'we want more' thing. I've never seen Angel blush before but he did then.'

'Oke, maybe I went a bit to far, but it was just so funny.'

He got up, trying to look as brooding as possible while singing 'I will always love you.'

She laughed harder.

'Even Angel wasn't that bad Xand !'

'You just say that because you were in love with the guy. Believe me, he was this bad and worse.'

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

'Oke Buff, thank you so much for this morning. But I gotta go, I really need to see An...I feel like I haven't seen her in ages.'

She forced herself to smile.

'Go, I understand.'

He gave her a hug.

'Thank you for your honesty.'

She closed her eyes so wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. If only she could have been honest with him. He let her go.

'See ye later ?'

'Yeah, later.'

'Bye Buff.'

'Bye Xand.'

And he was gone. More tears started falling. She knew that she would have to get used to this. She would spend time with him, but in the end he would always go back to Anya.

Sunnydale CA, Buffy's house (10.15 PM)

Buffy was in the kitchen, just staring. She knew she would have to go out patrolling, but she didn't want to. She would run into Spike and after the day she had he was the last thing she wanted to see.  Her afternoon had been filled with selfpity, but her evening had been pretty good. She had eaten with Willow, Tara en Dawn and it had been nice. But they all left now, Willow and Tara to the movies and Dawn to a friend, which meant Buffy was alone again. With way to much time to think about Xander. The backdoor was opened with force and in the door was Spike.

She sighed.

'Great, just what I needed.'

'Thought you'd be glad to see me, love.'

'Not really.'

'You're just playing hard to get. Do you want me to hid you ? I mean if it get's you in the mood.'

She looked at him coldly.

'Nothing you do will get me in the mood. Except for you staking yourself.'

'Harsh words, to bad last night kinda speaks against you.'

'Last night was the biggest mistake of my life. It will never, ever, happen again.'

He came close to her. Touching her. Getting a bit worried when she didn't react at all. All the while looking at him with contempt.

'Stop it Spike. It won't happen.'

'You know better Slayer.'

She sighed.

'Spike, I'm not in love with you. Last night only happened because I was lonely.'

'You're lying.'

'No, I'm not. Get it through your thick skull. I used you. Used you. You mean nothing to me.'

He still wasn't convinced.

'Nice story you've been telling yourself.'

'I will never happen again Spike.'

'Yes it will.'

'No.'

'Why the hell wouldn't it happen again ?'

'Because I'm in love with Xander.'

Buffy couldn't believe that she just blurted that out. To Spike off all people.He started laughing.

'You want me to believe you're in love with the carpenter ?'

He laughed harder.

'Laugh all you want, it's the truth.'

He stopped laughing when he looked at her face. She was hurting. It was the pain of someone who was in love with somebody they could never have. And he reconized it. He had been living in that pain himself for the last year.

'Bloody hell, you're really in love with the Boy Wonder...'

She nodded. He just turned around and left. Banging his fist at the doorpost while leaving. She stayed behind. Thankful that at least one of her problems was solved.

Sunnydale CA, Xander's appartment ( 2.00 PM)

Xander woke up with a start, sweating. His heart racing. Next to him Anya was still asleep. He calmed a bit down when he looked at her. Getting out of bed to get a drink. When he got to the kitchen he heard a knock on his door. Wondering who would come over at this our he walked to the door. To see Lorne on his doorstep.

'Lorne ! What the hell are you doing here ?'

The demon let himself into the appartment. Looking around, not saying anything.

'Lorne, again, why are you here ?'

He turned to look at him.

'Nice decorating. Also told Buffy that when I went to see her. Living on the hellmouth does some wonders for your taste I guess.

Xander didn't have the patience for small talk.

'Don't make me repeat myself a third time.'

Lorne decided that he would put the boy out of his misery.

'You've had the dream, haven't you ?'

Tbc...