P-chan and the Evil council of Doom
Authors note: Since I forgot to add this to the last chapter I thought I'd add it now. If you are by chance reading this fic for the Dragonball part, this might not be the fic for you. Most of the jokes in here are inside jokes so you won't get them unless you know me personally. Anyways, I'm doing this to basically satisfy my friends; although it probably would be funny to people who don't know what we're talking about.
Bara-chan: HUSH!!!!! You're not supposed to tell them that... You're supposed to get people to read.. not run away
:thoughts:
Planet Baka-sei:
Chapter 1
What's the odds of Frieza actually succeeding in getting a treaty with this Bara? In fact what are the odds that this Bara actually destroyed the earthlings? The Guru pondered this as he aimlessly passed his meeting room. Maybe I should send some insurance.
"Iceshadow03! Fhqwhgadshg! What is with that name! Get in here! Now!"
Upon calling, a half cyborg male carrying a box of tissues and a sleazy saiyan female entered the room. The cyborg was about 6 feet tall and 175 lbs. A gigantic sword was slung across his shoulders and he seemed to be in a depressed sort of mood. The saiyan was about 5'7" with a very nice build. You would have thought from the way that she looked, dressed, and acted that she would have been more suited for a harem instead of the Guru's elite guards.
"Sir," they replied in unison.
"I have an assignment for you. I'm sending you to the planet ..." The Guru was interrupted by a soul wrenching wail from the part cyborg.
"What the hell is your problem, Iceshaadow03?"
"They killed Old Yeller!" He screamed; bursting into tears.
"They killed the dog!" Some random person named Liz said.
"They shot him. What did he do to deserve to die?" Moaned Iceshadow03.
"Get a hold of yourself," the Guru hollered while throwing a box of tissues at his head, "and how the hell did you get in here anyways? This is a restricted area. How'd you get in here without a pass," he asked, turning to Liz.
"Ya so retaded (A.N. that's how she says it.) I just opened the door. Ya not even worth my time you perfect circle, dog killing, murderers. " With that she just disappeared.
Guru, Iceshodow03, and Fhqwhgadshg: Ka-blink (A.N. Da-dink! Da-dink! Da-dink!)
"Anyways, what were you saying, oh great and wise Guru," Fhqwhgadshg asked sweetly while she batted her eyelids at him.
"Stop sucking up Fhqwhgadshg! I'm not giving you cigarette money so you can forget it."
"Damn," she pouted.
"Moving on. As I was saying before I was interrupted, I want confirmation that this Bara person actually destroyed those puny Earthlings. Therefore I'm sending the two of you to Earth to see who is left. You will report back immediately when you find out any information. We have to know what we're dealing with if we are going to have any chance of defeating it. Now go! Iceshadow03 is getting my carpet wet."
With that both of the Guru's servants left for earth. Maybe I should think of a plan C, the Guru thought, just in case plan B doesn't work. Why is it so hard to find good help these days.
On the tiny planet of Sleepy Hallow:
Frieza was slowly walking the desolated hallways of Bara's Planet. This place is kind of creepy, he thought has he looked around. The walls of the corridor were covered in different anime characters that seemed as if they were going to jump off the wall and kill him. He began to walk faster; looking around wildly at the faces. Not able to take anymore, he began to run as fast as he could through the corridor. Where the hell is the exit?! I thought this planet was only about 30 feet wide!?
"P-chan, how long do you think it'll take him to realize that he's running in a circle?" Bara asked her penguin sidekick.
"Squeek. Squeek. Squeek, " replied the penguin.
"My thoughts exactly." With that Bara raised her hand, gathering ki in the palm of it and released it, hitting Frieza squarely on the ass. Unfortunately, it didn't have the desired effect. He just began screaming and running faster.
"Squeek!!!!!" P-chan couldn't take it anymore. He raised a wing and blasted Frieza into oblivion.
"Bad P-chan! He had something important to ask me," Bara scolded.
"Squeek. "
"That's alright. I forgive you. After that I feel like an ice coffee. Lets go."
Planet Earth about two weeks later:
The Gang of Z warriors stood outside of the hopping night club called the Queen Spring. They could feel the music under their feet and the heat that washed over them every time the door was opened. Bulma had wanted a night without the children; so here they were. She had blackmailed her husband into coming by telling him that she would send him on another strawberry picking adventure if he didn't. Not wanting to be alone in his misery, Vegeta invited the rest of the z gang to come with them.
Wow! This may not be torture after all. I didn't know they had strippers in this joint, he thought has he walked in. The most prominent feature of the club was by far the tables in the back. On one danced a young woman with a sort of amazon look to her. On the other danced a woman, who was as beautiful as she was built. Below them, stretched an immense dance floor, where people who didn't work there could dance. Off to one side stood a rather large bar with stools in front of it. Behind it, worked a half man half machine bar tender.
Immediately apon entering Vegeta head straight for the bar. But before he managed to get there the door to the club burst open and in came the screaming fairy Moto. Following right behind him was the teenage mutant ninja turtle Michaelangelo.
"Give be back my pizza you scum bag," screamed the enraged turtle.
"I don't have your pizza anymore," wined the fairy. "I used it to feed the larva the inhabit my hair." Showing them to the turtle for emphasis.
Upon seeing and hearing this the turtle flew off the edge. He began beating the fairy with his nunchucks 'til there was nothing left of him. "I hate fairies!" With that he casually left the nightclub.
This is going to be an interesting night indeed, Vegeta thought to himself.
***********************************************************************************************
Cast:
Guru - myself
Bara - as herself
Iceshadow03 - my friend tom
Fhqwhgadshg - kate
amazon dancer (has a bigger role next chapter) - anne
Liz - as herself
moto - lame ex boyfriend of my sister
P-chan - stuffed penguin of Bara's
Next time: The club scene and Krillin pole dancing for Vegeta!
Bara-chan's note:
*snicker* the really sad thing is that this is what we're really like... Except for P-chan... she doesn't squeek or talk back... she's a good stuffed penguin. ^.^ Just to let you know.. I'll probably have a note at the bottom of each chapter... just cuz I can... you are warned....
The Mooglequeen's Rant:
My turn I guess. Alrighty-then! I've been waiting for the last tape of Dragonball Z to come out for over a month and I finally got the tape on Wednesday. You have to understand that Vegeta is my favorite character in DBZ, so I was really appalled by what they did to his daughter's name. They changed her name from Bra to Bulla. WHAT KIND OF NAME IS BULLA!!! It doesn't even follow the traditional briefs name! Some times I just want to hit those people at funimation with a frying pan of doom of my own! I'm all for some censorship sense little kids do watch the show; but seriously if your going to call one kid Trunks why can't you call another Bra. Not to mention I have the uncut version, it has an age warning for heaven's sake! *Just turns around and walks away shacking her head*
