You Need To Know I Love You

I closed my eyes in a vain effort to stem the tears that flowed down my cheeks, mingling with the pouring rain as I stood before his grave.

The war was over and there was peace, but eneryone had paid their price for it. Loss of loved ones was not uncommon in war, but the knowledge made it no easier to bear.

Stop, I mentally chided herself, he wouldn't have wanted to see you like this, he never wanted to see you cry. But his memory simply brought on a fresh wave of grief.

I turned my head to look at the two people beside me, the man cradleding a woman in his arms as her body shook with supressed sobs. He soothed her back trying to comfort her but I could see that he himself was crying.

I gave up trying to keep the tears away, it would only add to the pain. It was hard not to cry anyway, everytime I closed my eyes all I could see was his face, full of love and tenderness. Never in my wildest dream had I thought he would ever love me.

But now what hurt me most was not the fact that he was no longer with us, but the fact that the last words he had probably heard from me were hateful. I had coped with the death of my parents, it had been easier knowing that they knew I loved them.

He never doubted the my love for him and I'm sure he never did even at the moment of his death, but I hadn't been able to tell him for the last time that I would always cherish his memory, throughout my life, that I would keep him in my heart until the day I draw my dying breath, that I would love him till forever comes.

Knowing him, I know that he would never hold my last words against me, that he loved me inspite of whatever I could ever say to him. I closed my eyes, determined to remember for one last time the painful memory before I pushed it into the past where it belonged. I know that he would want it this way.

She was pacing around in the trench, her grime streaked face twisted in an expression of fury. She stopped abruptly as she heard the sound of someone approaching. Her eyes narrowed as he came into view. He looked tired and haggard as he limped slightly towards her but right now she couldn't care less. She felt furious.

Looking up at her he began, "Listen…"

"HOW DARE YOU!" she yelled at him, "how dare you leave me and go out there on your own! Again!"

He winced at her tone, "It really wasn't necessary for you to come…"

"I signed up as a part of this war for a reason," she shouted, "that was because it was necessary! You know I am an important part of the mission."

"Look," he said his eyes pleading, "two of us died…"

"I don't care! I'm supposed to be part of this team and as a rule we always go together."

"This raid wasn't according to your specialisation, it was too dangerous," he reasoned, " true you know all the spells and curses but we need the mediwitch to be alive!"

"YOU left me out!"

"You're being unreasonable!"

"You're the one being unreasonable!" she yelled back, "going on a raid with the ratio fifteen to thirty five is unreasonable!"

"I had no other choice!"

"You would probably have had a better chance with an extra member!"

"At the cost of a mediwitch? No thanks!"

"Fine!" she said her eyes narrowed to slits, "You think I'm incapable, then I'll just ask for a transfer to another trench unit."

He looked at her with disbelief.

"You can't!"

"Oh yes I can," she hissed, "I'll be more useful where my actual potential is recognised."

He cam towards her to take her in his arms but stumbled as she pushed him back roughly.

"I hate you," she whispered.

He recoiled as if he had been slapped. "You don't mean that…" he said weakly.

"Get out of my sight."

Reliving those words she cried even harder. She had hurt him to the core. They had fought over something so trivial, something so petty. She had thought he couldn't see her point of view whereas he thought she was just being touchy. What they hadn't known was that she was subject to sudden mood swings now.

She was three weeks pregnant.

"MOVE!! NOW!!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Avada Kedavra!"

"Impedimenta!"

"Crucio!"

Amid the cruses and the smoke she hurried, tending to the wounded. She could see the dark lord being fought tight in the centre of it all. She suddenly saw him fighting off several death eaters. Suddenly his wand flew out of his hand under the combined disarming charm of four death eaters.

"Nnnnooooo!" she screamed. A death eater who had lost his wand in the battle picked up the wand that was just disarmed. She ran towards him but knew she would never make it in time. The death eater smiled diabolically and pointed the wand.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Her curse hit the death eater full force, but it was too late to save the already fallen figure infront of the death eater.

She threw herself on her knees next to him, frantically screaming, "No! NO! You can't be dead! How dare you die on me! Wake up! Please!" she buried her face in the dead man's chest and sobbed, "Please I'm so sorry for what I said! Please I want to t-tell y-you, I love you!"

She felt it then, the terrible pain of loss.

"I love you."

He had been killed by his own wand. I had always carried it along with mine ever since. He was a hero now. One of the bravest heroes.

My hero.

How I wished I could see him again. One last time, to tell him about the baby about how much I loved him.

Yes, I thought, there was a way! A brief encounter, but it was enough. A slim chance but it would do.

"We'll talk to him one last time," I said, "one last time."

The man near me gently placed his hand on my shoulder and softly whispered, "But he's gone." I shook my head.

"There is a way," I said, "trust me."

He nodded and clutched the woman in his arms closer, watching me.

I pulled out the two wands. This had to work, I thought feverishly,as I joined their tips, it had to.

"Priori Incantatum."

All three of us watched fascinated as his ghostly figure hit the ground. He stood up, shaking the hair out of his eyes. He regarded us silently, his gaze finally resting on me.

With a sob I rushed to him and pulled him close. He was quite solid.

"I'm so sorry," I cried, "So sorry!"

"Hush love," he consoled, "I know, I love you too."

"I'm so sorry for what I said," I sobbed clinging to him, "I didn't mean it!"

"I know," he whispered into my hair, "I know."

Lifting my head from his shoulder I looked at him, "I'm going to have your child," I said and nearly breaking down again as I added, "I love you."

He smiled serenly at me and looked at the other two.

"Alright mate?" he asked looking at the man, then gesturing to the woman he added, "Take good care of her," the man nodded. He reached over and touched the woman's hair as she looked at his grey figure sobbing, "I love you too."

He planted a kiss on my slightly swollen belly and whispered, " This is your dad, always know that I love you."

Finally turning to look at me he said, "I don't have much time left."

"NO!" I cried holding on to his slowly lightening figure. He shook his head sadly and said, "I'll always love you remember that," and then he pressed his lips to mine.

When I finally opened my eyes, he was nearly gone as he spoke his last words.

"I'll be waiting."

I don't know how long we stood there but a brief smile flitted across my face. Then joining hands with the other two we quietly left the churchyard.

A single lily lay on the grave, its pure fragrance filling the air in front of the grave.

IN LOVING MEMORY

OF

RONALD ARTHUR WEASLEY

(1981 – 2000)

WE LOVE YOU

YOUR LOVING PARENTS, SIBLINGS,

IN-LAWS, WIFE AND CHILD.