Title: Untitled

Author: Lily -- lilyana_vamp@yahoo.com

Rating: R-NC-17...eventually

Disclaimer: I own no one...to my own sadness.

Distribution: If you want it, take it...just let me know where it

went.

Feedback: ..makes me immensely happy!!

Summary: When the unspeakable happens, the unspeakable is brought

about...but not without some complications. Author's Notes: This is SOOO needing a name.please make suggestions when you leave feedback!! Author's Notes 2: Song lyrics are from "Bring Me to Life" by Evanesence

Part 6 Bring Me To Life

"Please Cor, don't do this to me. I'll do anything."

Cordelia smiled. Those were exactly the words she was waiting for. "Anything Angelus?"

"Yes."

"Be Angel again."

"What?"

"Let Angel come back. Be re-souled."

Angelus looked at Cordelia in horror. How could he possibly let the souled one take over again? He had waited so long to be released and now she wanted him to give it up. "Never."

"You said anything Angelus."

"Anything but that. I refuse to lose this body again. It's rightfully mine. He gave it up. You can't really expect me to let him take it over to do 'good' things again!"

Cordelia looked at him seriously. "That's exactly what I expect Angelus. If you refuse, you can expect to see a lot of me. Everywhere you turn, I'll be standing there. Every time you close your eyes, I'll be haunting your dreams. I will give you no rest. I'll haunt you for the rest of your un-life. Let's face it, I have nothing better to do."

Angelus's mind was reeling. He knew he'd never survive being haunted by her beautiful face, but he wouldn't give in to Angel. He couldn't. Not after tasting freedom again.and blood, human blood. Besides, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. At least he'd have her around. He could feel a horrendous aching in his heart. "Cordy."

"The clock's ticking Angelus. Make your decision. Are you going to give Angel his life back or am I going to terrorize the rest of yours?" She saw him go through every emotion possible, trying to make his choice. She looked into his eyes and saw something she never thought she would see.pain.anguish.love. She touched his face tenderly, seeing his expression soften. "Angelus, I know you care for me, but I can't be with you, and I never could be."

~*~ How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb~*~

"Cordy, I've never felt like this and it sickens me. It makes me feel human. I don't want to feel human. I don't want to love you. I need these feelings to go away."

"So make them go away. Let Angel love me. You must understand Angelus that the feelings you have are because Angel loved me. You two share more than the same body."

"You're asking the impossible Cordelia," he suddenly spoke with a smile. "The White Hats down there can't re-soul me. The Orb won't work. They couldn't do it even if I agreed."

"I tell you what Angelus; if I find a way, you agree to it and I'll be history. If not, I'll be following you forever. Deal?"

~*~Without a soul My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home.~*~

He wondered if the front he was putting on was fooling her. Angelus grinned sinisterly. "Sure Delia. It's not like anyone will ever find a way anyways. What do I have to lose?"

"Nothing," Cordy answered with a smile of her own. "You only have something to gain.a soul."

She walked around, searching desperately. It was so cold, dark, and lonely there. There was nothing but darkness wherever she turned. Terror rose in her, threatening to take her over and drive her out of that place, but she was there for a purpose.

"Angel!" she called into the nothingness.

~*~(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) Before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become.~*~

"Cordelia?" she heard his voice whisper.

"Angel, where are you?"

"Cordy, how did you get here? You should be in-"

"Where? Heaven? Please, how am I supposed to hang out in heaven with your evil alter ego tormenting LA? Wings and harps and fluffy little clouds are not in my brochure until I fix the mess you created."

Angel didn't acknowledge her snide remarks; he could only feel his heart swell at seeing her, talking to her again. "Cordy, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

"It wasn't your fault Angel," she spoke quietly and smiled slightly.

"I should have protected you. It was my job. I was suppose to be a champion and I let the woman I loved get killed."

"Angel-"

"No Cordy, I have to tell you; I've loved you for as long as I can remember, but I was scared to tell you. I was scared you'd reject me, and I was scared that I would lose control of the situation and what happened before, with Bu-"

"Say her name and I'll kill you.or at least make you deader," she smiled.

"Cordelia, I'm not joking."

"Neither am I Angel, now shut up. I don't want to hear anymore."

"Why?"

"Because." She pulled him against her and kissed him. It was the deepest, most loving kiss she had ever experienced. "I love you too Angel."

Angel stared at her for a moment and then touched her face. The tears began rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably. "Oh Cordy, what have I done? I let him out."

"You can fix it Angel."

"How?"

"Go back. Take back control. Make things right."

"But what about you? What will happen to you?"

"Wings, harps, fluffy white clouds I'd imagine."

Angel's face was suddenly serious. "No."

"What? Angel, you can't just let him kill everyone. You have to go back there and fix things. People need you. Our family needs you. Your son needs you."

"Our son," he whispered with a saddened expression on his face. He knew she was right, but how could he just go back, after everything that had happened?

"Our son. You have to go Angel. I'll be fine."

Angel wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I don't think I can live without you Cor."

She took his thumb and kissed the salty tear. "You'll never be without me Angel. I promise you that. How could I abandon my champion?"

"I love you."

"I love you."

Angel opened his eyes and feel the grief take him over again. He had had Cordelia in his arms and she was gone once again. He collapsed on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. "Cordy!!!" He didn't even look up as Wesley and Gunn broke through the door and the barricades, ready to kill the beast that had been him. "Cordy.she said that I needed to come back.to make things right."

"Angelus?"

"She said that only I could fix things.she called me her champion." He held his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry.is Fred.?"

"In the hospital. They gave her a transfusion. We're all hoping for the best." Wesley spoke quietly, still unsure who he was speaking with.

"Are we gonna dust this bastard before he tries anything else or are we just gonna make small talk with him?" Gunn asked angrily.

"Gunn, those things I said.Fred loves you, I know she does. I don't know how to apologize."

"Angel?" Wesley asked.

"Wes, I know you must hate me for the things I did and said. I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave me."

"Angel, it wasn't you," Wesley told him softly and knelt beside the vampire. "We all know that Angelus is always a threat, and we all knew the risks of working with you. You are a vampire, but you are a good man. You are not Angelus. You are not responsible for the things he does."

"Yes, I am responsible Wesley. I let him out. I let go."

"Losing someone you love always brings out the worst in someone. For you, it was quite literal. But Cordelia was right Angel, you're needed here."

Gunn looked at Angel angrily. "You asshole," he spoke evenly before punching Angel and walking out the door.

"Gunn!" Wesley called after the young man, but Angel stopped him.

"Let him go Wes. He needs time. I don't blame him. I almost made him suffer the very thing that let Angelus loose. I almost killed the woman he loves. I'm sorry Wes."

Wesley smiled slightly in acceptance. He looked at the sketches Angel had made throughout their years together and noticed that Cordelia was a popular subject. "How long have you been in love with her Angel?"

"Since before I met her I think," Angel answered in a whisper. "I can't imagine not ever loving her. She accepted me completely, even at my worst. She accepted me and the beast that lurks just beneath the surface. Even when I.he was terrorizing you all, she loved me. She loved me enough to realize that Angelus and I are not just two separate entities. We are the same person Wesley, just light and dark. She accepted the dark side of me, which is something nobody else has ever done. Cordelia."

Wesley decided that Angel needed some time with his thoughts and to say his final goodbyes to his one true love. He slipped quietly out the door as Angel picked up his paper and pencil.

"How can I go on without you? I had you in my arms and now I'm alone again. Please don't leave me."

~*~ Now that I know what I'm without You can't just leave me Breathe into me and make me real Bring me to life~*~

"You were the one person that made me feel alive. You treated me like a normal man. You weren't afraid to point out my faults or to stand up to me. You weren't afraid of me."

~*~ Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead~*~

"I'm just so sorry that I didn't tell you that I love you before you went away.before you died. I tried to deny it because I was afraid, but I'm not afraid anymore of love anymore. The only thing I'm afraid of is facing life, or un-life, as you would say, without you. I love you Cordelia, and I'm not afraid of it."

~*~All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see Kept in the dark but you aint never followed me I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems got to open my eyes to everything~*~

Angel heard the phone ring downstairs in the lobby and heard Wesley talking to someone. "What? Are you certain? Yes, we'll be right there." He heard the former watcher climbing the stairs and walking towards his room. He waited for the knock.

~*~(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) Before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become~*~

"Angel, that was one of our contacts with the police. It seems there's a Jane Doe at the hospital.he said that she uncannily resembles Cordelia," Wesley told him quietly and Angel looked at his friend in disbelief. Could he really be telling him that Cordelia could possibly be alive?