Title: Untitled

Author: Lily -- lilyana_vamp@yahoo.com

Rating: R-NC-17...eventually

Disclaimer: I own no one...to my own sadness.

Distribution: If you want it, take it...just let me know where it

went.

Feedback: well duh.

Summary: My summary was crappy. Got a better one? Lemme know.and while you're at it.I'm ready to get down on my knees and beg for someone to help me with a name! I'll gravel!!

Author's Notes: Is this the end? Let me know if you think I should end it here!

Part 13

Surviving
**LA looks different to me somehow. I guess when you host an evil so.well, evil as the First, almost kill everyone you care about, and divert an apocalypse, things do tend to look a little different. It's been.I don't even know how long it's been, since we came home. I've been sitting beside him for what seems like an eternity, and there are still no signs of him waking up. Wesley thinks that it has something to do with the extreme damage the First inflicted upon him.that iI/i inflicted upon him and his emotional state when he passed out. Connor carried him to safety and said that he just collapsed. The poor boy had to pull that fire poker out of his own dad's stomach. I don't know what I'll do if he never wakes up. I'd never be able to forgive myself. Geez, now I'm all broody.watch out Angel, you got competition now, so wake up and fight me for it already!**

Cordelia didn't remember much of what happened, only looking up into Angel's eyes after having that horrendous vision. The others skirted around the issue of what happened in Sunnydale and she couldn't say she really minded. When she was ready, she'd make them tell her. Right now she had more important things on her mind. Angel.

"Sure, help a guy save the world and he thinks it's okay to sleep forever." Cordy braved a smile, trying to wake him up unsuccessfully. She'd tried talking, crying, screaming, everything. She'd even tried kissing him; Sleeping Beauty he was not. Nothing seemed to work, and she was getting very worried. She laid on the bed next to him and caressed his face. "You have to wake up Angel. Help the Hopeless and all that. It's no fair that you get to sleep and I'm stuck watching your Rip Van Winkle ass for days on end."

"No change?" Wesley asked from the doorway. She turned to see him, Gunn, and Fred looking in with worried expressions.

Cordy shook her head. "Nothing. Things that should get a reaction out of him aren't even registering." She looked for the absent member of the Fang Gang. "Where's Connor?"

"In his room. He won't come out. He's taking this really hard," Fred told her, her voice heavy with sadness.

Cordy nodded slightly. "Can you guys stay with Angel? I wanna go talk to Connor."

"Of course Cordelia," Wesley smiled slightly.

******

She knocked lightly on the door and opened it a crack when he didn't answer. "Connor?" She saw him sitting beside the window in the dark. Like father, like son. "Hey sweetie. How you doing?"

Connor shrugged, and she could tell he was genuinely upset. "How is he?"

"The same. You know, maybe if you go in there, talk to him, it might make a difference."

He turned and looked at her and she could almost swear he had been crying. "I should have helped him. I just stood there, like a pathetic-"

"Don't do this to yourself Connor. You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you saved his life by getting him out of there. If anyone should feel guilty, it's me."

Connor looked up at her wide-eyed. "Why? You didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you. Just like it wasn't you when.we." She could see his heartache and she wished she could comfort him. But she had to be honest with him, even if it hurt him a little more.
"No, it wasn't. Connor, you're my little boy. I'll always think of you as my little boy. And I know that's not what you might want, or what the First led you to believe, but it's the truth. You were my baby even if I didn't give birth to you, and you're still my baby. I hope you can accept that and move past what happened."

Connor gave her a bittersweet smile. "I guess I should be grateful to have someone who loves me so much."

Cordy nodded. "Angel does too. He loves you so much Connor, and I really think you could make a difference." She watched as the boy stood up and left the room. She only hoped that he was more convinced than she was, because she wasn't sure if anything would wake him up at this point.

******

Gunn looked up as Cordy walked down the stairs. "How ya holdin' up?"

"Been better," she sighed and slouched on the couch next to him. He'd never seen Cordelia Chase like that before. Her hair was carelessly pulled back, her clothes were rumpled and baggy from all the weight she had lost in the past week or so. She looked like she hadn't slept for weeks, which wasn't entirely untrue, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her eat anything.

"Can I get you something to eat?"

She looked at him with her eyebrows raised. "You're going to cook? This should be laugh-worthy."

"Hey now, what's that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing," she answered with a grin.

"I didn't think so. Besides, I said 'get', not 'cook'. I was going to get you some take out from that little Italian place you like so much."

She smiled thankfully but shook her head. "I'm really not hungry."

"Well, I'm gonna get it anyways, and you just eat it if you get hungry, 'kay?" He stood up and walked out the door before she could argue.

Cordy pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead against them. She was so exhausted and hungry, but she was afraid to eat. The way her stomach was twisting and turning and tying itself into knots, she feared anything she ate would make a premature return.

She blamed herself for the state Angel was in, even though she knew that it wasn't really her that had done it. It was the First, but that didn't do anything to ease her pain. Her hands had scratched him. Her hands had bruised him. Her hands had run him through with a fire poker. She closed her eyes and as the tears began to run down her cheeks, she fell into a deep sleep.

******

When Gunn walked back into the Hyperion, he saw Cordelia curled up on the couch, fast asleep. He smiled and put down the bags of food. He grabbed a blanket and covered her, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head. "Sweet dreams Sis."

******

Angel opened his eyes and wondered how long he had been sleeping. He shuddered when the memories of feeding off Cordy came back to him. The dull ache of his mostly healed wounds were nothing compared to the ache in his heart. He scanned the dark room, looking for her, but he didn't even sense her. The fear began to choke him. What if he had drained her too far? He sat up, clutching his stomach, grimacing in pain and saw a sleeping body in the chair beside him.

It warmed his cold, dead heart to see his son watching over him, even if he had fallen asleep. He vaguely remembered those last words Connor has said to him as he drifted into oblivion. He had called him a hero. More importantly, he had called him Dad. It wasn't as if he hadn't called him Dad before, but this time, it was different. There was love in his voice as he said it.

Angel struggled to his feet and took the blanket off his bed, placing it around Connor. He smiled as the boy stirred and then slipped back into a deeper sleep. He finally had his little boy back. He had a family. That is, if he still had Cordelia.

He limped down the stairs, feeling his body healing itself more rapidly now that he was awake, and he searched for her. He looked in his office, and then in the lobby. He saw a blanket that had been carelessly discarded on the floor and followed the sound of movement in the kitchen.

He walked in to see Cordy shoveling bite after bite of chicken parmagiana into her mouth. She looked absolutely disheveled, but she still looked radiant to him. He wondered how a person with a major case of bed hair, a full set of luggage underneath her eyes and pasta sauce smeared all around her mouth, could look so beautiful, but this was Cordelia Chase. She always looked beautiful, even at her worst.

"Is it good?" he asked after watching her eat for a few minutes. She dropped her glass to the floor, shattering it into a million pieces.

"Shit! Don't do that!" she yelled and then looked up to see Angel. "Angel! You shouldn't be up! You could re-open a wound or something!" she exclaimed and ran over to him. "I've never been so happy to see your goofy ass grin before in my life! God, I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up. I was so worried about you. I thought I'd killed."

He put a hand on her cheek and smiled at her. "I'm alright Cordy. I'll heal. How are you? I mean, did I hurt you bad?" he asked solemnly, his hand trailing down to the scars on her neck.

She shook her head and rested her own hand on his. "I'm alright. I'll heal." The two fell into an uncomfortable silence and then Cordy turned back to her broken glass. "I'd better clean this up before someone cuts themselves on it."

Angel felt the pain in his heart worsen as she pulled away from him. He wondered if anything would ever be the same between them again. "Let me help you."

"No, I got it. You're still hurt. You should go rest," she told him as she carefully picked up the shards of glass. She pulled her hand back and cried out as a sharp piece lodged itself in her fingertip.

Angel rushed over and pulled her up off the floor. He led her into the living room and sat her on the couch and then knelt on the floor in front of her. He examined her finger and gently pulled the small sliver of glass. He set it on the stand, but never let go of her hand. He studied her fingertip again, looking for any stray pieces, carefully turning it this way and that, letting the light dance off of her skin.

Satisfied that he'd removed it all, he gently kissed her new wound and then lightly ran his fingers up her arm. He traced the healed wounds on her neck and leaned forward, letting his lips lightly brush against them and then kissing the marks he had made. He slid his fingers across her face and caressed her eyes as they closed. He kissed each eyelid in turn and then let his hand rest on top of her heartbeat. He felt it for a moment, marveling in the wonder of it and then placed his lips where his hand had been.

He felt Cordy's body begin to release the stress and worries she kept inside and he smiled. He would continue to kiss every part of her to try to rid her of the pain he had caused in the woman he loved. He had been the cause of physical pain; the broken glass, the wounds on her neck, and the visions she carried for him. And he had been the cause of emotional pain; breaking her heart more times than he could count, yet she always forgave him.

He laid her back on the couch and propped himself over her, looking deeply into her eyes. He had never felt so much love before in his life. Theirs was the kind of love that could survive eternity. It would survive through death and worse yet, life. It had already survived her death, as it had his jealous tendencies. It had survived the apocalypse, and it had survived them almost killing each other. Their love was true, and he knew it beyond any shadow of a doubt. He vowed to never let anything tear his family apart again.

He brushed a stray lock from her face with his free hand and kissed her tenderly. He pulled her shirt off with amazing skill and rested his cheek against her warm flesh as he reached for her panties. He heard her protest slightly, worrying about the curse, and he placed a finger to her lips. He looked into her eyes again and reassured her without saying a word. As he rid her of the confines of her clothing, he did the same with his. He let his naked body press against hers, and felt her warmth permeate all the way to his core. He rolled them over and positioned her so that her head rested against his firm chest and he reached down to pull the blanket up around them. The two fell asleep in each other's arms, having made love in a more beautiful way than any act of sex could have been.