Syd closed her eyes and willed herself not to loose it right here, in the
middle of the hallway, let herself fall to the floor and cry until tears
were no longer able to form beneath her chocolate brown eyes. Every ounce
of self control made her stand straight, bow her head then walk away,
hoping to God no one decided to talk to her at that moment. Any word would
send the floodgates rushing open.
Walking as fast as she could Sydney wandered the hallways, she had a favorite spot and knew exactly how to navigate herself on autopilot until she was there. A special corner in the bowels of the offices, she and Vaughn had spent more than one special moment there, and no one knew that every time she felt the chess game of her life was beginning to get too hard, that corner served as a pillow.
Breaking into almost a run she trotted to the stuffy corner, she knew every nook and she turned on a heel to make sure she wasn't followed. Syd and Vaughn new this corner was one of the few that could not be seen by security cameras. Out of reach, almost nonexistent, yet it was special to both of them. As Syd let herself tumble to the ground she felt her blazer ride up on her stomach, her pants shorten, and her hands catch her fall, a tinny sound echoing when her ring hit the marble floors. That sound made her cringe, the ring, what it stood for; she almost threw up then and there. After days of keeping what she felt inside the doors opened and she began to sob. Crying was something Sydney wasn't used to, it was something foreign to her, it made her nervous but she knew how to deal with it; when other people were that is. The second she began to cry there was no tomorrow.
There was no stopping this crying. Tears ran in intervals so close together they couldn't be counted, breathing was heaving for air almost drowning in the saline drops, and every emotion ran through her head like racehorses. As she threw her head back she let out a muffled scream, one that expressed everything that had happened the past five days, one that seemed almost unreal until that moment, where everything opened and the scabs on her inner wounds ripped off. Never had she cried like this, not even for Danny, anger was all she felt with him, but this was pure agony, sorrow, and grief. Agents were taught to keep their feelings inside, to hold it all in, be professional and handle it like a statue. If Kendall or any ranking officer, even though there were few above her in this office, saw her she would for sure be in a psych ward for weeks.
But how sane can you be when something so horrible has happened? Even the most composed person would be shaken up, and Syd knew that usually she could take this. But Vaughn meant so much to her, more than any other person in the world. He helped her deal with Francie, he helped her handle Will and his growing attachment to her, but most of all he was just there. Never hesitant to let her fall into his arms he made her feel like the only person on the planet. The way he held her, touched her, looked into her eyes, everything stopped for a moment, the way love felt in the stories her mother had read to her. She felt like a princess around him, and he encouraged it. Always doing discreet things to make her happy, a single rose on her desk at work, gorgeous earrings left on her pillow the morning after, or her favorite, the ring on her finger given to her at the restaurant in Paris where their romance began.
Syd toyed with that very ring as she willed herself to calm down, making every thought push out of her brain and away from her heart, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. "God, I must look like a bomb went off." She whispered to herself, no amount of "waterproof" makeup could have withstood the tears she just cried. Another advantage to her secret corner was the bathroom was all of two steps away. As she stood up, and pushed that horrible feeling into her stomach, Syd went into the bathroom, preparing herself for the meeting before her.
Walking as fast as she could Sydney wandered the hallways, she had a favorite spot and knew exactly how to navigate herself on autopilot until she was there. A special corner in the bowels of the offices, she and Vaughn had spent more than one special moment there, and no one knew that every time she felt the chess game of her life was beginning to get too hard, that corner served as a pillow.
Breaking into almost a run she trotted to the stuffy corner, she knew every nook and she turned on a heel to make sure she wasn't followed. Syd and Vaughn new this corner was one of the few that could not be seen by security cameras. Out of reach, almost nonexistent, yet it was special to both of them. As Syd let herself tumble to the ground she felt her blazer ride up on her stomach, her pants shorten, and her hands catch her fall, a tinny sound echoing when her ring hit the marble floors. That sound made her cringe, the ring, what it stood for; she almost threw up then and there. After days of keeping what she felt inside the doors opened and she began to sob. Crying was something Sydney wasn't used to, it was something foreign to her, it made her nervous but she knew how to deal with it; when other people were that is. The second she began to cry there was no tomorrow.
There was no stopping this crying. Tears ran in intervals so close together they couldn't be counted, breathing was heaving for air almost drowning in the saline drops, and every emotion ran through her head like racehorses. As she threw her head back she let out a muffled scream, one that expressed everything that had happened the past five days, one that seemed almost unreal until that moment, where everything opened and the scabs on her inner wounds ripped off. Never had she cried like this, not even for Danny, anger was all she felt with him, but this was pure agony, sorrow, and grief. Agents were taught to keep their feelings inside, to hold it all in, be professional and handle it like a statue. If Kendall or any ranking officer, even though there were few above her in this office, saw her she would for sure be in a psych ward for weeks.
But how sane can you be when something so horrible has happened? Even the most composed person would be shaken up, and Syd knew that usually she could take this. But Vaughn meant so much to her, more than any other person in the world. He helped her deal with Francie, he helped her handle Will and his growing attachment to her, but most of all he was just there. Never hesitant to let her fall into his arms he made her feel like the only person on the planet. The way he held her, touched her, looked into her eyes, everything stopped for a moment, the way love felt in the stories her mother had read to her. She felt like a princess around him, and he encouraged it. Always doing discreet things to make her happy, a single rose on her desk at work, gorgeous earrings left on her pillow the morning after, or her favorite, the ring on her finger given to her at the restaurant in Paris where their romance began.
Syd toyed with that very ring as she willed herself to calm down, making every thought push out of her brain and away from her heart, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. "God, I must look like a bomb went off." She whispered to herself, no amount of "waterproof" makeup could have withstood the tears she just cried. Another advantage to her secret corner was the bathroom was all of two steps away. As she stood up, and pushed that horrible feeling into her stomach, Syd went into the bathroom, preparing herself for the meeting before her.
