Gone

~`~

The empty bed. The empty room. Everything was empty, and had been since Duo died. And my heart ached more than ever. It ached for his warm presence, his soft touch, his sweet voice in my ear. And he was gone.

Quatre made sure to stay by me, to make sure I was all right. I would never be all right. He hoped I would heal. But nobody ever told him you could never heal the pain of a lost soul mate.

I could not bear life, and kept to myself. I kept late hours crying myself to sleep, and spent mornings sleeping away my reddened eyes and splotchy nose.

Quatre could sense the grief and turmoil inside of me, and dared not leave me alone, lest he lose another of his closest friends. In good heart, he tried to find someone who could replace Duo, but he never came close. The candidates always lacked that Duo-ness that is as much a part of him as his braid and cross. I would never be able to see his smile again, or hold him in my arms. He was no longer there to dispel my nightmares and calm my feverish sleep. I missed him so much.

Then one night I dreamed of him. We were in a maze and I saw flashes of him around corners. His sweet laughter filled the air as I chased him. He led me deeper into the maze, deeper and deeper. And then we were in the center, and he stood upon a large stone square set into the soft earth, waiting for me. He smiled shyly and beckoned for me to come closer, for I had stopped subconsciously, absorbing the sight of him. Pulled out of my trance, I ran to him, and gathered him in my arms. I could feel him, feel his warmth, smell his sugary scent, and see his beauty. He slung his arms around my neck and laughed at my slight blush. We both leaned forward and our lips met.

Then he disappeared, leaving nothing but a few points of light behind that quickly faded away. I grasped the empty air, and fell to my knees. The world darkened and my vision hazed. I fell over onto the cold stone and closed my eyes.

That morning, I did not wake up.