Wait a second ! What was the theme of this story ? Haldir & Glorfindel ? Must have been, sorry guys. (Is it really so hard to find a sappy Glorfindel & Haldir story? - Yes, it sure is, because Glorfindel is not in the character list for the search. Damn it! So I have to write on request? Right.) Okay, I'm on the wrong end of the pool right now, so let's get back to where I should be .

--------------------------------------------------------------------~*~----- ------------------------------------------------------------------

The afternoon is really nice and elrohir keeps talking a lot while I just sit and listen. It seems to be really hard to be elronds kid. God, I'm happy that I'm just common-little haldir from loriƩn.

On the way back it's getting pretty cold but elrohir doesn't seem to notice.

'Sometimes it really is stress but you get a lot of privileges, you know.'

Huh ? 'I see.'

'Like archery lessons . for example .'

'Well you asked for those.'

'Because of you .'

'I'm not the best teacher you could get.'

'Yes, you are .'

'What about legolas ?'

'What about him ?'

Well, I don't know, but stop talking about ~me~, you blockhead ! That makes me nervous and I don't take it as a compliment I take it as a clumsy attempt to get me . to do things.

'He's better than I am and you know that !'

'Yes, but he's not as beautiful as you are.'

'Well, that's what you think.'

How often did I hear the 'you are beautiful' in this century? Not too often, so this should mean something to me. But there was somebody else saying I was beautiful.'

'You are in your world again. What are you thinking about ?'

'Gl... ,' Glorfindel ? Hey, I'm going nuts, completely. I'm gonna tell him that that I think about glorfindel while we are out on a ride ? No way. And I am not even thinking about glorfindel. I don't even know why I said his name.

Mm, hm, I'm good at pretending especially to hide my feelings from myself but this not one of those cases, trust me. And IF I was thinking bout glorfindel what would that prove ? We are friends and he has the hots for legolas anyway.

--------------------~*~----------------------

When your world has been shattered

And nothin' else matters

It ain't over

It's only love

And that's all

--------------------~*~----------------------

'No, I was thinking about some food because it's getting pretty late and all.'

'We're not going back to rivendell tonight .'

'What ? Why not ?' Oh, I suspect evil. This is not good.

'Because I wanna be alone with you .'

'But . but I still have some things to do tonight . I can't just stay away .'

'Don't worry. I can get you out of all the trouble that could harm you in rivendell. You come with me.'

'No, I can't. I want to go back !'

'Hey don't panic. You'll like it. Even more than your fling with glorfindel .'

'No !'

'Yes !', he tries to snatch the reins of my horse but I back of.

What the f**k is this ? Doesn't this guy take a subtle hint ? Do I really have to hit him over the head with my allusions of not-wanting-to-be-alone- with-him ? And why don't I want to be alone with him, anyway ? Wasn't that exactly what I was planning the last three days ? Yes, right, it ~was~. But I could still do join in this just for the hell of it, to have some fun. - No I can't, I just can't. Why not ? It worked out just fine with glorfindel, because I wasn't in love with elrohir, not even thought he was as good-looking as . other elves. And now ? I'm still not in love, am I ?

--------------------~*~----------------------

You keep lookin' back in desperation

Over and over and over again

--------------------~*~----------------------

'I really have to go. I'm sorry .'

I turn my horse and dash away in the direction of rivendell. I'm so confused. What was that ? And there's definitely something seriously not as it should be in 'my world'. I don't feel bad, not guilty about leaving elrohir behind in the darkness, it's rather a relief when the lights of rivendell come into sight. He is not following me, is he? I'm looking back like a hunted animal. Nothing, just darkness.

I don't stop to chase the horse forward until I reach the stables. I practically fall of the horse and drag myself away from it to go to my room. A hot shower would be just be the right thing now. I'm feeling dizzy and like in a dream while I'm walking through the crowded halls of rivendell. Arwen and glorfindel come dashing through all the people shouting :'excuse me ,' all of the time.

'Haldir, you look awful. What happened ?', asks arwen with a worried look on her face.

I try to keep a stiff upper lip but when I try to answer tears splash down from my eyes and I start sobbing. Both, glorfindel and arwen look shocked and the next thing I know is that I'm lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. Glorfindel is lying next to me, his arms out around me.

I sob again and new tears well up in my eyes. I rest my head on glorfindel's shoulder and he's stroking my back, whispering words I can't even take in anymore. Why the heck am I panicking like this when somebody just make the suggestion that we could spend the night together? I. don't. know.

'Where is arwen ?', I manage to ask between huge sobs.

'She's talking to lord elrond. About you, she won't be back until tomorrow. But what happened out there ? elladan said, you and elrohir were going for a ride in the forest.'

I don't even want to think of it. It's so . weird.

'Whatever it is you can tell me .'

'I can't .'

'He didn't touch you .!?!?! I'm going to kill him .'

'No, no. He didn't.' I look up and see that this upsets glorfindel just as much as me. Because he cares about me . of course he does.

'Tell me. It'll help, trust me .'

'It was nothing really,' but still I start to tell him what happened. '.. And I said I don't want to go. He retorted I would like, more even than with you .' A violent crying fir grabs me at this point and I can hardly speak. 'He tried to snatch my reins but I just bolted .'

'He's going to pay for that .'

'What ?'

'What do you think ? I'll give him leave to try to rape you ?'

'That's not what he did. He was just a little anxious.'

'A little anxious ? What do think he'd have done if he ~had~ gotten hold of those reins ?'

'I - I don't know .'

'I do. And wouldn't stand a change against him. You may be older but you are the weaker, the fragile one. I mean look at you .'

'Yes, I know.'

'Promise me, you'll never go near him again .'

'Are you nuts ? I don't even want to stay in rivendell !'

'Really ? You'll leave ?' His voice sounds sad while he asks.

'I really can't. I got nowhere I could go. I don't have anyone to help me .'

'You got me .'

'You'd help me .'

'Of course I will. You know I l. that I'll be there for you, don't you ?'

'I wasn't so sure for a while. You have been around legolas a lot in the last time.'

'I had a crush on him if it's that what you want to hear .'

'You had ?' This topic is calming me down. It has nothing threatening to talk about love in my room.

'Mm. I said so. It was a crush I wasn't in love.'

'When's the last time you've been in love ?'

Glorfindel smiles dreamily. 'A long, long time ago. But I remember it better than anything in my life .'

'You'd tell me something about it?'

'You're so curious .' But he isn't angry, the tone of voice is rather loving.

'Please ?' I flutter my eyelids so that they brush over glorfindel's neck like the wings of a butterfly.

He moans, still smiling. 'Hey, don't do that. Okay, okay, I'll tell you something. What do you want to know ?'

'Great. A long long time ago you were always in some war, I remember that. I was, too, but not all the time. I can't really remember in which war you could have been back then.'

'Mm.'

'So you met him there, anyway ?'

'Yes.'

'What was he then ? Warrior ? Commander ? Archer ? Of your own people or of the enemies ?'

'One of the archers under my command.'

'Hey, don't be so boring. Tell me a bit more about it. A love story .'

I shift my head so it lies on glorfindel's chest.

'There's not much to tell. He was still pretty young. Really young even though nearly every elf is young compared to me. I loved him more than anything in this world.' he smiles weakly. 'I sometimes called him my silver archer and I guess we would have been inseperable but I had to follow rivendell's orders. I had to give him away because the archers were put under your command and left. I couldn't be so selfish and lose the war because I was in love. We just lost each other.'

'You never found him again ?'

'Yes I did.'

'And ? You still love him ?'

'Mm.'

'What ?' I'm laughing. 'What mm. Yes or no ?'

'Yes.'

'But it's not legolas ?'

'Legolas is not that old and he has never been to war even though he is an archer.'

'Okay, how old would he be ? Not as old as you are ? Arwens age ? My age ? Older than me ?'

'I'm not so sure. Probably about your age .'

'He's here in rivendell ?'

'Yes .'

'Then why the hell don't you just go and tell him ?'

Glorfindel turns his head away and stares out of the window. 'I can't.'

'Why not ? He can't do more than say that there's nothing anymore between you and him .'

'I wouldn't survive that. Now I can at least live in my dream world and pretend everything would be fine.'

'Hey, is he one of your friends ?'

'Yes. But not anymore if I told him .'

'But you are still talking to him, are you ? How can you manage ?'

'I don't think about it. Pretending that everything is right and that I'm a happy elf.'

'And you are not ? Poor glorfindel. Can I do anything for you ?'

I could do something for me, anyway. I feel poisoned. There is coldness surging through my veins and I know very well what that feeling is called. Jealousy. The worst jealousy I have ever experienced. But I can't just whine about that while he's so melancholic.

'Not something I could ask of you .'

'You can ask everything.'

'No. Just forget it. Please, haldir.'

That look in his eyes. Pained and tired all at once and I feel guilty for being jealous when he is obviously feeling so bad.

'I'm sorry.'

'Why that ?' glorfindel looks surprised

'Because I was jealous .'

'You were ?'

'Yes. While you were telling this and I'm feeling really bad about it.'

There is a strange light in his eyes, so suddenly, like a million sparks flying through them. I must be really tired.

'That's okay. I know, sometimes you can't help it.'

I'm quiet for a while. Still jealous. Because glorfindel is not mine. But if I don't love him ? Or do I love him? Still? After all this time and I never noticed ?

---------------------~*~----------------------

I know it ain't easy

You're a part of me

You're the wings on my heart

Can't we give our love another try ?

Can't we keep our broken dream alive ?

Now more than ever

With heaven on our side

---------------------~*~----------------------

'Glorfindel ?'

'Hm ?'

'As far as I know all the archers that were under my command back then have fallen in the war of the ring.'

'You think so ?'

'I'm pretty sure.'

'Well, I'm not.'

'Okay, probably there are still one or two that have survived. But I didn't see them around here.'

'You are not going out enough.'

'Mm. Maybe.'

'You're tired, haldir. Just go to sleep.'

'Glorfindel ?'

'Hm ?'

'Can you accompany me to the archery-lesson tomorrow. I guess . I don't dare to go alone.'

'Of course.'

'Thank you.'

I can't sleep at once. I listen to glorfindel's heartbeat and think about the conversation. There is still that pinching jealousy deep down in me. Silver Archer. I know that name. It's like I should know who it refers to but forgot it.