No niin, here we go again with this piece of chaos. This chapter for everybody who mailed or sent a review with the advice to let Haldir & Glorfindel be couple. Thanks for all kinds of advice.

Everybody who doesn't think that Haldir & Glorfindel should be staying together, please skip this page. Thank You.

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In the evening I'm sitting on Glorfindel's bedside again. I tell him about the mountains in the sunlight, the birds and butterflies in the soft grass of the meadows around rivendell and the white horse flying through it with legolas and me on its back.

I can't stop talking about it, it was the first think to make my mind think about something else than my love lying on his bed, not able to ever return to this world. I'm lying with my head on his chest, listening to his slow breath. He can't even feel me lying there, he's never reacting, never touching me or turning his head in my direction. It is so sad but still too familiar to make me cry.

Legolas has left to sign some papers in elrond's study. I'm all alone with glorfindel and looking at his pretty face, a peaceful expression is lingering on it as if having a pleasant dream. Sometimes he looks pained and cringes but he seems fine today. I noticed, that he is writhing and biting his lips when I'm sad as well and peaceful while I am happy. I don't know if that's only by accident or if I'm already starting to imagine things.

All the next week I'm in a good mood because the ride out and away from all the sorrow in rivendell is still burnt into my mind as a fresh memory and all the week glorfindel is quiet and sometimes even smiling. More often than usually ? I really start to imagine things.

Legolas is busy in the next weeks. Of course, he comes to check on me and glorfindel every day, but he's never staying for long. This fact makes me feel even lonelier and I know I'm sinking deeper into apathy every day. There is only glorfindel I can hold on to. He'll always be with me. Forever.

That is not what I'm pondering about tonight. Glorfindel is lying by my side slowly breathing, I'm telling him about what I feel. Of course, that I love him. I love him more than my life but I also realize that this life can't go on like it was for all the years past. I can't just stay in this room for years and years, it's starting to drive me crazy by now. I'm running up and down the room like a panther in its cage, catching me starting out of the window longingly. But I can't leave glorfindel. My heart won't let me leave him.

I'm snuggling up to him, lost for more words about my situation and waiting for some sleep to release me from thinking.

'I wish you could just once give me a sign that you know that I'm with you. That I won't leave you alone,' I whisper, more to myself than to glorfindel. Somewhere deep down I know he doesn't listen.

Suddenly he shivers. Is he trying to move ? But it can't be. His will can't control anything in this world anymore. I should have known that but still I'm disappointed. Probably he's cold. Again the shiver is running through him and a soft whimper escapes his lips. It's the first sound I heard from him in half a century. and it sounded a bit like my name.

'It's okay. I'm with you.' I don't know what to do. Did he really hear what I said, to give me a sign, or is it just one of his violent dreams?

I gently trace his jaw-line and kiss his forehead. He feels warm and alive but still, he shivers. More violently then ever. I'm feeling the panic rising in me and I can hardly breathe. He's not going to fall ill ? Another whimper follows and this time I know it. HE IS TRYING TO SAY MY NAME ! It sounded a bit ragged, because his breath is fast from all the effort he is making, but there was no mistaking it. My heart starts fluttering like a caught butterfly trying to escape and I'm starting to cry. He knows that I'm still with him.

'Glorfindel, yes . don't worry. I'll always be there for you .'

I flinch when he suddenly arches up. 'Haldir .' it sounds like a prayer and it sounds perfect . I'm sobbing like mad in a state of complete bliss. He knows. He knows! He knew all the time that I'm here .!

'My love .' the words come easily from his lips now as though talking in his sleep.

I'm so close to collapse with the happiness inside me. And I'm really fainting out of pure joy in the moment glorfindel turns around, sighing, and slips his arms around my waist.

It takes only a few minutes to wake up again. He's still snuggled up against me and I don't dare to move. I don't want him to ever let go again.

In that moment legolas opens the door. He's followed by elladan and elrohir who both look startled at the sight of me.

'Haldir ! Everything all right ? What happened ? Why are you crying ?' Legolas rushes to the bedside and I'm afraid that he might scare glorfindel and make him change his position but nothing happens. Glorfindel accepts legolas sitting next to us and sighs contently.

'Hey, don't tell me that he moved himself into this position !'

I look at legolas with shining eyes. 'Yes. And he said my name. He said my name.' I repeat the sentence over and over again and the words are hard to distinguish from all the frantic sobs.

Elladan and Elrohir both stand next to the bed, looking as though they don't know what to do or say.

It takes long until I'm calmed down enough to talk in an understandable fashion. Legolas explains to the twins why this is such a great experience for me.

'Well, that doesn't mean that he's going to wake up does it ?, asks elladan skeptically.

'Of course it doesn't. But it means he knows that I'm here. I asked him if he could give me a sign that he knows I'm here with him and then he just tried to say my name and . he did it!'

'And don't spoil this for him, elladan, okay ?' Legolas suddenly looks stern.

'What will you give me if I'm peaceful and nice ?'

A flash in legolas eyes. 'Anything you want.'

'Anything ? Mm. Okay. I guess that's a bargain.' He smiles cutely at legolas and I understand. Legolas really had a lot of work in the past few weeks. A lot of raven-haired work with radiant blue-grey eyes and skin just as soft and white as a lily.

'You could have told me, legolas .'

'Huh ? About what ?'

'About you both. Don't you think I deserve to know what is happening to my friends.'

'You are too curious ,' elladan says but he smiles.

'You stole my best friend away from me ,' I say with the air of being very offended.

Elladan is pouting. 'No, I didn't. He came running into my open arms. You had the chance long enough, don't you think ?'

'What do you mean ?' Is there something I didn't get here ?

'You didn't even notice that I had quite a crush on you ?', legolas asks, fighting back laughter.

'N-no. You never told me.'

'Of course I didn't. But there where enough allusions in what I said, trust me. You just didn't notice because this sweet sleeping elf stole your heart, hm ?'

'Must be so ,' laughs elladan. 'Look at his surprised face.'

I feel stupid. Unbelievable happy, but stupid. Everybody knew except me. And I didn't really have so much to watch over all the time. I should have noticed legolas feelings. In the other hand, what good would that have done to him ? I'm in love with glorfindel and I don't think ~anyone~ can alter that fact.

'Now, don't tease him ,' whispers legolas to elladan.

'Give me a kiss and I won't .'

Legolas smiles and kisses elladan gently and elladan takes only seconds to slip his tongue between legolas lips.

'Uhm, hey guys, don't you think you should go to some other place if you can't control yourself.' Elrohir looks slightly embarrassed by legolas' and elladan's behaviour.

'No, don't worry, it's okay ,' I say. It is something to at least watch what I wish so badly to do with glorfindel.

'I get that all the time. They just can't restrain themselves.' He smiles.

'Well, long ago I was young, too and I still know how a bad crush feels like.'

'Really ?'

'Really really.'

'Would you forgive me then, what I did to you when we were out riding ?'

That was a real long time ago. 'You had a crush on me, too ?'

'I guess, every elf in rivendell had a crush on you some time. I know that even father was rather attracted by you a while ago.'

'Oh my god. Well, anyway, I'll forgive you. Is there no one, you'd have a crush on right now ?'

Elrohir blushes until he glows like the setting sun.

'Oh, I see. You'd tell me ?' Gossiping suddenly feels important. It's so nice to talk to somebody else than legolas.

'You wouldn't know. I'll show you some day.'

'I'll remind you to do that.'

'Fine. But I never see you in the halls. So I can't.'

'I'll be there, I promise.'

A mischievous grin spreads over all of elrohir's face. 'Do you think you could talk some good stuff about me ? It's a former guardian of lorién.'

'No, really ? Well, as it can't be me, anymore, I guess I can encourage that mysterious someone to some free-time-spending with you. Quality time, you know.'

'Thank you. And don't worry, this time it's not you.'

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The next morning I'm going down to the halls for breakfast and elrohir sits right next to me, waiting to point out the desired elf as he walks in.

'Why are you eating here today ?', he asks me, still observing the entrance.

'Felt like it. I feel much better since yesterday, anyway.'

'You look much better than the last time I saw you. It was when you were riding with legolas. You looked so sick. But you look fine now, beautiful as on the first day I saw you.'

'Thanks. Now, where is that elf of yours ?'

'Just wait. There, you see ?'

'Don't tell me it's the guy in that dark red tunic .'

'Why not ? Yes, it is.'

I just start laughing. Elrohir looks at me in shock, no doubt wondering if I've gone nuts. That elf that he fancies is the only elf I've ever seen, except me, of course, with long silver hair . And anyway, he could be my look-alike.

'Do we learn something here ? Elves always fall for the same type of guy/girl,' I say teasingly.

'Shut up. He's just as beautiful as you. And he didn't reject me. Not yet.'

'I'll see to it and he most probably won't.'
The next week are so much better than the years before. Still, I spend a lot of time with glorfindel, but I walk down in the gardens sometimes, just for a while, or get my horse out of the stables. I didn't know that I actually own a horse but there was one stand with a big sign 'haldir of lorién' and a magnificient horse in it. So either the twins or legolas had seen to lord elrond giving me a horse.

It is great to just race through the meadows or ride through the forests at a nice walk to discover secret springs, streams and waterfalls with a horse that seemed to obey in every situation.

I feel that glorfindel was more active as well. He speaks in his sleep, and tosses and turns a lot so that I decide to sleep in my own room, tired of him hitting and lying on me. It is strange to sleep alone and stretch and roll over as much as I wanted to.

In the morning when I check on glorfindel he is lying sprawled over the whole length and width of the bed, slightly snoring and smiling contently. When I come into the room, his eyes suddenly flutter open and my heart nearly stopped beating. His wonderful dark eyes are still glazed with unconsciousness elven-sleep but they were ~open~!

In that moment a crazy idea comes to my mind. Crazy, yes, but I couldn't resist at least trying to let it come true. I get glorfindel out of bed and start to put him into a presentable state. Well, he also is presentable like this, but everybody would just fall in love with my sleeping beauty.

It takes some time all the washing, combing, braiding, dressing but after that he looked all his gorgeous self again.

'What do you think ?', I ask when I finished the last golden braid in front of the mirror.

'Beautiful .', he whispers though I don't know if as an answer.

'I'll say. More beautiful then anything .'

He can't walk alone, so I carry him through the halls of rivendell, careful looking out for people who could stop us but nobody is in my way.

Of course, I'm on the way to the stables. I'm going to take him out of that prison in rivendell, just for once. I know, I'm not supposed to move him, not more than necessary but this time I can't resist. He's so far already. He's moving, speaking, his eyes have opened, why the hell shouldn't he just wake up ?

The stables are empty. It must still be pretty early with so few elves around here. I get out my horse and only bridle it. It's easy to get glorfindel up on its back because he's hardly weighing anything. Then I get on the horse, sitting behind him, to hold him in an upright position and lead the horse out of rivendell, far into the forests at a walk. I don't dare to go any faster at first, scared that I might not be able to hold glorfindel.

But later I notice, that glorfindel is not entirely like a sleeping or fainted person. He's not limp, it's rather as though he knows that he is going on horse-back. His hands entangled themselves in the dark mane of the horse and his body moving in the rhythm of the steps.

He must feel at least something. Something goes from the world out here down into his dream-world, altering whatever he sees.

In the end I dare to gently nudge my horse into a trot, then even into a gallop across a flowery meadow. Glorfindel doesn't seem to be insecure on horse-back, his expression is rather content.

The sun is still burning down when we reach a little stream running through grassland. I slow down to a halt and get of the horse.

'Do you want to get of ?'

'There's water .'

'Mm. It's a stream. Do you want to go there ?'

A little nod. I'm SURE, I'm so blessed sure that he can hear me. That he hears the water splashing over the little pebbles on its bed.

'Okay. I'll help you .'

I gently get him of the horse and hold him up standing.

'C-can you . walk ?'

A moment nothing happens. Then he gingerly takes a step forward, the next one following. He holds on to my arms but he's walking. Oh my god, this is so great. He stops at the banks of the stream.

'Sit down, love ?'

He does it. He gracefully sinks into the grass and remains in a sitting position. I sit down next to him and put my arms around him.

'Can you hear me ?', I ask and look at his open, glazed eyes but he doesn't answer. 'If you can hear me, I want you to know that I love you. I said it before but it might be that you didn't get it anymore. I never wanted to do this to you. . to break your heart.'

A shadow of a smile passes over glorfindel's face.

'Would you wake up for me ? If you still want to be with me, that is .'

It would break my heart to see glorfindel wake up and tell me that he hates me for what I did to him. Because then I would definitely die.

But he doesn't answer. No shivers shaking his beautiful body. He's not even trying. In this moment I actually hope that he wouldn't be able to hear me. If he's able and doesn't try . probably he doesn't want to. Probably he just wants me to care for him the rest of my life.

It's getting later and we both lie on the bank of the stream, the horse grazing somewhere in the shadows. At some point I even led glorfindel down to the water and he touched it, knowing that it's liquid, keeping it in his hands. Now he's shivering again. His breath is irregular and he keeps arching up every now and then. The arching seems to hurt him. He's wincing every time he does it.

I'm just watching it, caressing his hand and waiting for what he wants to tell me this time. But for a long time there is nothing coming forth except whimpers and sighs. It's slowly becoming darker and I watch the sun setting in the west. Glorfindel stopped arching but he's still whimpering as if in pain. I put my arms around him again and suddenly he just falls asleep, his head on my chest, one hand clawing into my tunic. I don't know what this means. Every time he shivered before he wanted to say something. But this time he had remained silent. Had he tried to fight the sleep ? Would it be that ?

I don't move, I don't want to wake him. If necessary, I'm going to stay with him out here all night. It is summer and the nights are warm, nearly as warm as the days. Finally I fall asleep, too, and dream away into a world where I can be happy with glorfindel. It's a wonderful dream and wonderful dreams make me cry because it can never be like that in reality.

I feel him trace my jaw line with his index-finger, play around with my hair and his warm breath on my skin.

'Haldir, what happened ? I feel so tired .'

Wait, this is not a dream, I can REALLY feel it. I snap to attention and my eyes fly open to meet dark, chocolate coloured ones, looking at me. They are not glazed, rather the opposite, shining and wet as if in fever. My voice fails me and I move my lips silently. My heart races and then I just jump up and fling my arms around glorfindel who lies back in the grass with slight choking sound because I'm holding him so tightly.

'Haldir . you . I can't breathe.'

'Are you r-r-really . awake ?', I manage to get out between violent sobs.

'Yes, yes I think so . but I'm tired. And I thought I just woke up. I had a terrible dream .'

I can't explain right now, I'm crying so hard that the tears are dripping down my chin onto glorfindel's shoulders.

'Why are you crying, love ? Please, I would love to see you smile. It seems years ago since you did it the last time.

'I'm so happy . I'm so blessed . you woke up .', I cry letting go of him to look into his eyes. He looks serious.

'What happened ,' he says it so stern that my heart skips a beat. He will hate me for this. Slowly I start explaining what happened and why he is feeling so tired.

'Fifty-one years ?', he asks. 'I've been lying in my room all that time and you've just been hanging around there all the time ?'

'Yes .' I feel like my heart is not beating anymore. Hanging around.

'I'm so sorry. I know you're going to hate me for this.'

'Hate you for this ? How could I ? You've stayed with me in that room for 51 years, you crazy elf, I'm not that important ! How could you waste your time like that !'

'B-because I love you .', I sob. 'Because I loved you all my life. What do you think made me stay ? The nice atmosphere ?'

He looks shocked and at the same time he is smiling with happiness. 'Oh, Haldir . I never knew. I never knew that you still felt the same . I thought it was true that you just had a fling with me. Everybody said so. And I knew that you had been after elrohir, too.'

'B-but for the revenge. I loved you and I still do and I always will! I just want to be with you.'

Glorfindel looks at me with tears in his eyes. 'I'm completely crazy for you. I've been that from the first day I ever saw you. It hit me like a star falling down and I just couldn't forget you through all the years. You were like a diamond lying among the pebbles of a river, like sparkling wine to water, so cute and shy and so passionate and sexy at the same time. How could I not fall for you? I guess you noticed it because I fell into that sleep. I love you. I love you .'

These words are like music in my ears, so sweet and true. I can't resist anymore. I want to kiss him so badly that it is physical pain. I lean forward, our lips connect, and for the first time in all those years he's responding in an instant . He's pushing me back to lie down in the grass and his skilled tongue is parting my lips. I kiss him back, so fiercely that somebody who would have looked on it might get the impression that my life is depending on it.

We stay at the stream for a long time still. Glorfindel is just as eager to be with me as I am to be with him. We roll around in the soft grass and we don't care that it is already damp from the dew. All I care about is that glorfindel finally woke up, that he is all right and that his are locked to mine.

I guess this is the longest time kissing I ever spend. We don't care about the time just about each other. One kiss following another, separated only by short breaks to look in each other's eyes, smile and pant for breath. Sometimes we're gentle sometimes rather passionate and in the end glorfindel goes completely crazy and starts screaming about loving me. I bet all the elves in rivendell heard him hollering but again I don't care. I even appreciate it. All Middle-Earth can know that we are in love until the end of all time.

When the night has fallen we get back on the horse and ride back to rivendell.

'You know, it is like waking. You are waking in a completely dark place and the air around you feels like gooey jelly. You can't move or do anything. Not even think. You're just bidding your time. I thought it was a horrible dream.'

'Could . could you hear me ?'

'Sometimes. And sometimes I thought I heard legolas.'

'He was with me all the time .'

'He's still in rivendell ?'

'Yes. He took care of all your charges. And I was jealous when he talked to you.'

'That's why it felt so bad for me when legolas spoke to me, I guess.'

'You felt bad when I felt bad or hurt or jealous. When I felt any negative feeling .'

'Yes, I think so. But in the last time you were encouraged to do new things. And so I was. And I started fighting the tiredness. I was so proud when I said your name.'

'I was weeping when you said my name. I finally knew that you know I'm there.'

'Do you think I will fall back into that sleep once I let myself sleep ?'

'Does your heart still feel broken ?'

'No. You love me. That's all that matters to me.'

'So why should you sleep the sleep of a broken hearted ?'

'Oh. I didn't think about that. It was just so horrid. I never ever want to be feeling like that again. So don't you leave me, haldir of lorién .'

'Don't worry. I'm your elf for all the time you want me to be.'

'How about forever ?', he asks in a silky whisper.

'Sounds great, love .'

When I wake up the next morning my first fear is that it was all just a dream. It was a wonderful dream then. I could live with glorfindel all my life after all we discussed . and all the sweet confessions we made. I turn around to look at glorfindel who is sleeping peacefully on his side, facing me. His lips are cherry-red from all the kisses, his hair tangled because I clawed my hands into it when he made love to me in the night and his eyes look slightly shadowed from a short nights' sleep.

I kiss him on the forehead and he stirs.

'Hmm mmm. Not already.'

'Morning, my love. Rise and shine, do you remember ?'

'As though it was yesterday.'

'Let's get up and show all those elves down there that you woke up again. Lord elrond will be thrilled. And everybody else, too. Come on, let's go.'

'Okay. I'm getting up. And I'll go down with you, too. But just to show everyone that you are my elf. Forever.'

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