Part Three
Sure enough, I woke up firmly wedged in the morning of White Day. There was no escaping it. Hartia would be knocking on my door any minute now, telling me to get ready for breakfast. I don't think any of the other teachers do that for their students... but then, none of the other teachers are like Hartia.
"Majic?" And there he is - right on time. "Are you awake? We've got a big day today, so hurry up and get some breakfast."
"Yes, Master." I call back, feigning a yawn and making it sound like he woke me up.
Fastening my green robes as quickly as I can before diving out of my room, I manage to meet up with Hartia on the way to the dining hall. He always has a smile for me, and this morning was no exception.
"Do you have Eris' gift?" He asked the question as calmly as if it had been 'How are you?', which didn't help the butterflies in my stomach.
All I could do was nod in response.
"She's over there."
And before I could say anything, he gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder and was making his way back through the crowd of hungry students... Probably had to take care of some preparations for today's test, or something.
"Hi, Majic!" Eris' voice calls me back to my original intention.
She was sitting at a table all by herself, a small plate of fruit on her left, and a pile of open books on her right - last-minute cramming before the big test. I know I should be studying, too... but what's the point? Hartia says I have a natural talent, if only I knew how to use it.
"Eris!"
"You look terrible!" She greets me, her smile making her bright blue eyes shimmer. I could get lost in those eyes, if my heart would let me...
If they belonged to someone else...
If they belonged to my fantasy man.
"Thanks." I answer with playful sarcasm. "So do you."
"That's not what I meant, Silly." She patted the table, signalling for me to sit at the place opposite her. "Were you up all night studying?"
"Yeah." I mutter, flicking through one of her books. Like I'm going to tell her the truth! Well actually, Eris, I couldn't sleep because I was wondering what to get Master for White Day.
"Eris?" Do I give her the present now? Or do I wait until after the test?
"Yes?"
It should be so easy just to hand it over and get it out of the way! Why do I have to stall all the time?! "How do you think you'll do today?"
"Okay, I hope." She stops short and frowns slightly. "Is something wrong, Majic?"
I can see myself reflected as our eyes meet again. I do look terrible! I wish Hartia had said something about it earlier.
"Are you feeling all right?"
"Here. This is for you." I slid her present across the table and ran. I could hear my chair toppling to the floor as I pushed through the crowd, but I didn't care. I just had to get away.
Darting through a kaleidoscope of pink, green and blue robed students, I made it out of the dining hall without Eris following me. I needed to think. I needed to figure out why I felt like I was cheating on Eris. I needed somewhere quiet, where no one would bother me. The library! I'd hide in the dark, back corner until it was time for the test and no one would find me.
The sickening, dank smell of old books invaded my nostrils as I wound my way through the bookshelves to the back corner. A single candle lit up the book sitting on the table. I sat down and spun the book around so I could at least pretend I was doing something if someone happened to walk in.
The Black Tiger was spelled out in gold runes on the cover, along with a picture of the bizarre super-hero with the same name.
It was strange... all the time I've been here, and the many times I've frequented the library, I've never once even thought to seek out this book. And now I find it where I'd planned to evaluate my feelings for the very man who idolised its main character.
I don't know how it happened. I don't know how I could let it happen. All I wanted to do was give him a present to show him how much I cared. Cared, not desired, not lusted after... not anything else but a big, platonic cared.
And now my mind was warping my fantasies! It may have been Orphen in them yesterday morning, but by the afternoon (and especially the night), all I could think about was Hartia. The hands that touched me were no longer invisible, they were pale and creamy, speckled with delicate freckles.
I couldn't even bring myself to talk to his face this morning. Not after the dreams I had! I felt like such an idiot. Here he was, trying to push me toward Eris, and all I could do was think of him the entire time I was with her. It felt wrong to be there, having her worried about me; knowing I had a gift for her that meant nothing at all any more. I didn't even bother enchanting it with the love spell... I didn't want her to look at it and know what I truly felt - You're a nice girl, Eris, but I think I'm in love with Hartia.
"I thought I'd find you here." Lai's voice is creepy enough when you're talking to him; having him sneak up and say a few unexpected words is downright terrifying. I know I jumped in fright when I heard it. "Hartia was wondering where you'd got to. Eris went to see him, you know. She's worried about you... and so am I."
Brick wall. Brick wall. Brick wall.
The look in his visible eye tells me he's peeling back my spiritual defences and staring into the core of my very soul.
"Don't do it, Majic. Hartia is my closest friend. He thinks very highly of you, and I don't want to see him punished by the Elders for your mistake."
"I wouldn't-" I tried to speak, but he continued without acknowledging my protest.
"Eris is a sweet girl - don't hurt her for the sake of a childish infatuation."
"I'd never-"
"You'll be late for your test if you don't hurry."
I wouldn't let that happen to him...
I'd never intentionally hurt her...
Before I could defend myself, Lai had walked away. I ran after him, but it was as if he vanished into dust the very moment a bookshelf obscured him from my vision.
"Lai!" I called out, although I knew it was useless. He never said any more than he had to and never stayed around to witness the consequences. I suppose it's because he already knows what they will be.
I picked up the volume of The Black Tiger to put it back on the shelf. The pages ruffled with the disturbance, and something slipped from between them onto the floor. A flower? Long since dead, the pressed petals are just as perfect a white as they would have been in life.
I stoop to pick it up, careful not to break or tear it. I've always loved flowers. Orphen and Cleao used to tease me about it when they themselves weren't marvelling at some of the amazing landscapes we travelled through on our adventures. It doesn't make me any less of a man - I'm comfortable enough with myself to openly appreciate nature's beauty, that's all.
And this flower would have been spectacular when it was alive. I wonder where it came from? But now is not the time to be curious. I have a test, and one Lai warned me I'd be late for. I quickly place the flower between two random pages in the middle of The Black Tiger and shove the book back onto the shelf with the other volumes in the series.
The test went surprisingly well. I managed to avoid Eris during the practical half, and no talking during the theory meant that even though she was sitting beside me, I didn't have to justify my actions during breakfast to her.
My Hand of Pyro wasn't as good as the one I had done last night, but it passed nevertheless. I looked up at the collection of teachers who had come to watch their students in action, and my eyes were instantly drawn to that fiery mane amongst the dull blondes and brunettes. Hartia was smiling proudly and clapping for me.
"Well done." He mouthed the words as our eyes met. And then he suddenly looked away, as if scared of what he saw staring back at him. Could he see it? This love that was growing stronger by the second?
I noticed Eris was wearing her hairpin the whole time. She kept trying to catch my eye, but I just couldn't bring myself to look back at her. Would she see exactly what made Hartia turn away? And would she ever speak to me again if she did?
