So. The second ending. I just wrote it because I'm so reluctant to start a
new story or a sequel.
People who think that Glorfindel & Haldir should remain a couple, please read the previous chapter. Thank You.
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'You know ? How do you know I do ? I never told you !'
'I would be blind if I wouldn't see.'
'But . but .'
'Don't worry ,' legolas says. 'That doesn't mean you don't love glorfindel. I believe you love him. But that doesn't mean you can keep yourself from liking other elves, too.'
'Well, I guess you're right. I said it and I mean it.'
'And you know very well why I stayed here.'
'Because of me ?'
'Yes. Because of you. I can't take it how you waste your time on glorfindel's bedside.'
'I love him !' Do I ?
'I know that. You told me often enough. But he won't wake up ! No one ever woke up. No one !'
Tears are flooding into my eyes. I can't take the sound of the truth.
'And hypothetically : IF he would wake up, do you think he'd love you ? You BROKE his heart. He's not going to fall into your arms again.'
More tears streaming and I can't keep them back. I don't even want to keep them back anymore. I jump from the horse and start to run away. I know it's childish and I can't avoid seeing the truth one day but I can't stand the sound of those cruel words.
I stumble into the forest and legolas is calling me to come back.
'Haldir, come back. I didn't mean . I didn't mean to hurt you. Please!'
I don't listen. I just want to get away from those words that make my heart feel dead and empty. I run like hunted deer through the endless forest and I can here the hoof-beats of legolas' horse behind me. Finally I fall down in the shadows of a weeping willow and feel too shattered to move. I would never have guessed that I could run like that after doing nothing but sitting by glorfindel's bedside for half a century.
I'm still panting for breath when legolas rudely brings the horse to a halt next to me. I try to get up and run for it again but my legs don't obey and give in under my weight, causing me to fall again.
Legolas is falling to his knees and flings his arms around me.
'Haldir, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry . I didn't mean it. I just . just don't want you to perish with him. You are much too precious to just fade away in a little room on his bedside.'
I allow the embrace and weep silently on his shoulder. 'But I love him, don't you understand ?' Yes, I say I love him. But what does that mean to me ? Sitting on his bedside for the rest of my wretched life ? The words are empty to me.
'Of course. Do you think I've never been in love ? Love can be cruel and hurt like hell but you will never get over the loss if you hide from the world.'
I look at him and his sapphire blue eyes burn into my hazel ones. 'Promise me that you won't stay with him tomorrow.'
'I - I c-can't. There is nothing I could do instead.'
'Just suggest something and I'll be glad to accompany you .'
'Really ?'
'Yes. You know that my work is not that interesting, so I would take a day off and we'd walk somewhere, for example.'
'But you let me be with him tonight ?'
Legolas sighs. 'Yes, I'll let you be with him. IF you suggest something for us to do.'
'Just me and you ?
'We can take elladan and elrohir with us if you want to.'
Do I want that ? No, I want to go with legolas only.
'No. I wanted to have them watching over glorfindel.'
'The lucky guys ,' says legolas sarcastically.
I don't say anything. He will never understand. And I won't force him to.
'You know the lake down by the stream ?'
'Mm. But it's hardly an hour to walk there. Do you really need to be back that badly ?'
'Actually I thought we could go swimming. What do you think ?'
There is utter surprise in legolas gorgeous blue eyes. 'Swimming ? Just me and you ?'
'Well, that's what you suggested. And ? Are we going ?'
'Yes. Of course, if you want to.'
Since I started thinking about it the idea got better every second. It is going to be great to swim again and feel the clear water of the lake on my skin. To get out of that room. Certainly, glorfindel's room was magnificient but after fifty years of being in there some of the splendor had worn of. It is so great to be outside with no ceiling and no walls keeping you in.
'Yes. Yes, I really want to. I just noticed how I missed to be outside.'
Legolas looks at me. There's fire in his eyes. Blue flames or waves. 'I bet you missed this, too.'
He leans over to me and kisses me gently on the mouth, pulling back than. I'm speechless.
'It's not as bad as I thought. You didn't hit me .'
'No. No, it was okay,' I say hastily and surpress the urge to touch my lips.
'Well, I guess we better get going, we are pretty far from rivendell because you had to run a little while to get rid of some unwanted feelings, hm ?'
'I'm sorry .'
'No need to be sorry. I just said, we'd better get going.'
The way back is different from the time before. I feel confused because of that little peck on the mouth that legolas gave me. It feels strange to hold on to him on the horse but I try to hide that my mind is reeling by talking about easy, normal topics. Not about glorfindel, either.
Thinking about him makes me guilty. But why ? I didn't do anything. Or is it because I actually *liked* what legolas did ? And if, we are friends, it's nothing out of the ordinary. Mind, calm down, it was nothing that would make glorfindel even jealous.
When we reach the stable and the horse has been taken away, legolas looks at me with his cutest, big bambi-eyes.
'You want to ask me something, I gather ,' I say and he displays the matching 'cutest-smile' in return.
'Come to dinner with me. Please.'
I feel my brow furrowing. He said he's let me go back to glorfindel. Legolas still looks at me.
'Please. Please, please, please .', he begs. 'Just have an hour and you're free. PLEASE !' He flutters his lashes in a begging sort of way that looks rather suggestively to me.
'Okay. Right, then. I guess you have never anybody giving you the big E , huh ?'
'Not all that often . Come on.'
He drags me towards the halls and into the dining hall. I know it was a bad idea to go with him. I meet a lot of old friends and can't stop talking and even worse, I don't want to stop. Everybody has to tell something interesting and my mind absorbs everything greedily, just like a dry sponge. All of those elves are asking how glorfindel feels and I tell tem apart from sleeping all the time he'd be fine.
Legolas is close to me all the time as if to protect me if I got too much. But I can't. All that chat reminds me of the time when I used to be down here every day.
It's getting late and after four hours and a respectable amount of emptied wine glasses, legolas takes me to glorfindel's room. The world is swaying slightly and legolas holds me in case I'm going to fall.
'Did you see elrond's face when you came to talk to him ?', legolas asks laughing.
'I guess he was shocked to see I'm still alive ,' I say.
We reach the door of glorfindel's room. Legolas presses me rather fiercely against it and looks into my eyes.
'Promise you'll be there.'
'I - I promise.' I got the hiccups because I was drinking so much wine and I'm not used to alcohol.
'Good night, legolas.'
Legolas suddenly flings himself forward and kisses my lips again, a few times, one kiss shortly after the other. 'Sweet dreams, haldir.'
Then he turns around and leaves me even more confused than I was before. I enter glorfindel's room and find him sleeping peacefully, as always.
I take a while looking out of the window dreaming away before I get into bed.
I'm looking at glorfindel lying there, quietly and feel guilty again. I start to brush and braid his hair to distract myself of exactly HOW guilty I feel. Glorfindel is so beautiful and I love him. But he's sleeping and he'll be like that forever. I have to get over him sooner or later. But it's too early. It's way too early.
'I'm sorry, love. I know I promised I'd be back sooner but I was kept. . And what I really need you to know because I feel horribly guilty is that legolas kissed me today. Nothing so special but I guess I needed to say it.'
The sound of the words gives me the chills deep down in my stomach. Legolas kissed me.
Why ? Why ? Because he pities me. He just wants me to think about something else than glorfindel all the time. And that really succeeded. There is another feeling, deep down where I usually don't care to store anything. I anticipate to go swimming with legolas tomorrow. I'm getting excited while I'm thinking about it. I tell myself that it is normal to anticipate going out after all the years inside. It's not because of legolas, anyway.
In the morning I'm collecting my things to go out. Glorfindel smiles and is obviously content when the twins arrive to watch over him. I don't know why I need somebody to watch over him but it just feels better if he's not alone. Actually, I'm feeling less guilty if he's not alone.
'So, we just sit and watch this sleeping beauty, right ,' elladan inquires.
'Right. Just that. Not more.'
'Why ?'
'I won't tell you. Just watch him.'
'Okay. Don't be such a grouch. We'll watch your precious lord glorfindel.'
'Thank you.'
'Where are you going anyway? You've not been out a long time !'
'I'm going to swim. We're walking to the lake.'
'WE ?', elladan asks curiously. 'You and who ?'
'Legolas and I .'
Both elladan and elrohir dissolve in a laughing-fit.
'What ? WHAT ??? Did I miss something ?'
'So he finally got you to be attracted to him ?'
'No. What are you talking about ?', I ask, stunned.
'Don't tell me you don't know! He's head over heels in love with you, trust me. That's why he makes all that effort, what did you think, you innocent little guardian ?'
'You sure ?' I think my heart just skipped a few beats. He's in love with me ?
'Dead sure . You'll see. Did he never try to get close to you ?'
The look on my face must have told him the answer.
'Well, there you go.'
'Oh my god.'
'Well, nothing to be afraid of. Glorfindel won't mind, believe me. He has us to watch over him. Now go ahead and have some fun.'
He shoves me out the door. I cast a last look a glorfindel in his death- like sleep and turn around to meet legolas in the garden.
On my way a lot of elves say hello or just wave to me from afar. It feels good. Yesterday they were all staring so curiously but now I got them back on my side.
Legolas is already waiting for my, sitting on a bench under a linden tree. I'm watching him from some way of. He looks beautiful in the sunlight, his golden hair glittering and the slender body relaxing in the warm rays. He smiles when I finally walk over to him.
'You're late, guardian.'
'Excuse me. I had some trouble with the twins. They wouldn't understand that glorfindel needs to be watched.'
'Well, I don't understand that. What do you fear ? That he falls off the bed ?'
'I don't know. There can always be something.'
'Yes, right. Come on, let's start out before the best time to lie in the sun is over .'
'You're going to lie in the sun ?'
'Of course. No swimming without sun-bathing before. What did you think ?'
'I'm going to watch you from my place in the shadow.'
'I don't think so. I will force you to sun-bathe. You're so pale anyway.'
I guess I can't say no if he gives me the bambi-eyes. And I actually know he will if I refuse. So why refuse ? Because that's my nature.
The walk to the lake is relaxing already. At some times legolas just slips his arm around my waist while he's walking next to me as if it would be the most natural thing in this world and I allow the touch. We talk about little nothings, he obviously trying not to rip my clothes of and make love to me right where we fall into the grass, me trying not to give him encouraging looks.
'I think we are nearly there, and you ? I can here the water splashing.'
'Do you think there'll be a lot of people there ?', I ask, just to keep the conversation going.
'No. My guess is nobody. There are few who now that this lake is here. They spend their days in rivendell rather walking in the forests than actually walking across a meadow into that valley. They can't even see the lake from the forest.'
'So we're the only ones there ?'
'I suppose so. Are you uncomfortable with that?'
No, actually not. A tingling feeling is running down my spine. I really think it's not a bad idea to be alone. Not everybody needs to see me with him.
'No. I'm fine. Why shouldn't I ?' I'm giving him an honest smile and he seems relieved.
'No. I just thought . nothing .'
'Well, that's nothing new ,' I answer teasingly.
'Haha. You're so funny.'
'Ain't that the truth .'
'And vain .'
'I know. But don't tell me you're not .'
'And if ?', he asks smiling.
'I wouldn't believe you. I do at least admit it .'
'Well, you are beautiful anyway.'
'Thanks. You are, too. I guess you know that. Or somebody already told you.'
'No. Not that I would recall. I really think you're the first one to ever tell me I'm beautiful.'
'Then let me correct myself. I'd rather say you're gorgeous.'
'Really ?'
'Really.' Am I flirting with him ? Even though I'm in love with glorfindel ? He would never forgive me if he knew that I'm talking to the prince of mirkwood like this.
Legolas blushes anyway and attempts a smile. 'Thank you.'
'Now, let's hurry up. I really want to go swimming and you need to lie in the sun, don't you ?'
'Yes.'
And I really have to stop looking into those eyes or I'm going to give in to a feeling that I thought dead. Better, which I thought was impossible for me to feel again. To fall in love.
We reach the lake and there is really nobody there. The soft grass at the bank just waits for an elf to lie down on it and take the desired sunbath.
'Wow, I forgot how nice this place really is.'
'You forgot a lot during the last years .' I can practically hear him think : And I'll make you recall it.
'Well, take your sun bath. I'll wait for you under this nice willow.'
'No, you are not .'
He just grabs me and carries me down to the banks of the lake.
'Hey, don't do that .'
'Do what ?'
'Don't carry me !'
'Why not ? And I'll let you down now. Don't whine.'
He really let me down to take his sun bath with him and just starts to take his cloth of until only a kind of loincloth remained. I feel dizzy. His body is just as gorgeous as I thought.
Wait, I did think about his body before ? Yes, I did. And I imagined it just like this. Practically in the raw.
'Now, don't you want to take your clothes off ?'
'What ? - Oh, yes, of course.'
Legolas sprawls himself in the grass and closes his eyes against the sun. I hesitantly start to take the clothes off.
'Need help ?' legolas asks lazily.
'Nah, thanks, I'll manage.'
Legolas opens one eye to look at me. 'Sure ?' Then his breath catches. 'By Valar !'
'What is it ?', I ask knowing very well that my body is not in a bad shape, either.
Suddenly legolas seems rather nervous and fidgets around with his hands.
'You wanted me to take a sun bath, didn't you ?'
'Y-Yes, but I didn't think .'
'That I look THIS good ?' I just couldn't keep it back. Bad Haldir !
Legolas swallows hard. 'Yes. This is like WOW ! . Sorry,' he adds quickly.
'No. I'm fine with compliments. I actually like them.'
I lie down in the grass. It tickles my back and I smile and close my eyes. I can feel legolas eyes travel over my skin, lingering here and there. And, too right, when I open my eyes he is still staring at me, all mesmerized.
I do think that he does look drop-dead sexy, too, but I keep it to myself. No need telling him, he's already nervous enough.
'What about your sun bath, legolas ?'
'I . I guess I better go swimming first .'
'Okay. I'll come along. I don't need to loiter here alone.'
'Sure ?'
'Why not ? You just thought nothing ? Forget it. I'm coming. I suggested this, didn't I ?'
'Yes. Okay. I didn't want to keep you from it.'
We both get up and I jump into the cold water with a splash, all at once. It's cold, but not so cold that I'd get a heart-attack of just jumping in. Legolas stands near the banks the water reaching up to his ankles. Spectacular, I'll say. What a softie.
'Come on ! It's not that cold ,' I call but legolas only pouts cutely.
'That's what you say ! I think it's pretty cold !'
'Softie !'
'I'm not ,' he yells.
I'm wading through the water. 'I'll show you !' Glorfindel might never forgive me but I just have to do this. I splash up the water to make it run over my skin and then press my cold and wet body to legolas'. He whimpers and tilts his head back.
'See ? It's not that cold !', I whisper in a purring kind of voice and give legolas time to feel.
'Ahh, don't let go .'
Of course I let go. 'Come deeper into the water with me.'
Gingerly legolas takes one step after the other until he finally stands in the water to his collarbones. I'm diving around in the deep crystal clear water and scare some fish that cross my way.
Every now and then I get up to get some air and to check if legolas is still in the water. He is. Every time I check he's standing right where he stood all the time, like an alabaster-statue.
But suddenly, after I just checked once again I see a swish of golden hair close to me. I whirl around and see legolas diving pretty close to me, smiling and coming closer still. I smile as well and legolas wraps his arms around me, his skin feeling warm in the cold water. I'm not trying to escape. This is far too romantic to ruin it by struggling against his embrace. He combs his fingers through my floating silver hair, then he lets them run down the back of my neck. It feels better than I would ever have hoped. There is only one thing that is missing here . I look into legolas deep blue eyes and he closes the distance between our lips to an inch.
Oh, come on. Just does it, this waiting is so terrible. Please.
And then he does it. Our lips meet ever so gently and I see legolas closing his eyes. Oh my god he's going to try it . I feel a hot shiver running all through my body when legolas tongue runs along my upper lip asking for entrance. My eyes flutter shut and of course I part my lips at the softest touch and let the kiss happen. It brings rush of cold water into my mouth, too, but I don't really care.
Finally I push up causing us to float to the surface where we both pant for breath. I drift away until my feet touch the ground and give him a very very suggestive come-hither look and legolas licks his lips.
'Why are you doing this ?', he asks with still slightly ragged breath.
'Because I want to.'
The answer seems to be good enough for his taste. He swims over to me and resumes what he started underwater. I gladly join in to quite a number of sweet kisses in the cold water. Legolas knows what he does there, who could resist this elf's french kissing ? Well, I know this much : I can't.
We are hardly out of the water and in the soft warm grass when the little remains of clothes are cast to the ground. My mind is screaming for a while : Don't do this, you nerd, what will glorfindel ever think of this ? But I decide not to listen and to rather pay attention to legolas tending to my in anticipation writhing body.
Damn it, I can't help it, I can't say Stop now, it just feels far too blessed good. I'm just an elf, I can't help anymore that I'm ending up with legolas making love to me on the banks and in the water as well. And hell, it's just what I want and to say it bluntly what I need, too. Fifty years without the slightest touch of someone who loves me is not a really short time.
Luckily there seem to be no other elves around, neither on the lake nor in the near forests because legolas and I, of course, can't keep ourselves too quiet. It's wonderful and also kinda mawkish to lie with legolas in the romantic surrounding and the summer-sun on my skin. I guess, this is way better than sun bathing, anyway.
I suppose it's the longest time I ever stayed at this lake. And the most beautiful, too. When the sun starts sinking behind the trees of the forest I lie snuggled up to legolas and recover from the days events of the day.
'Haldir ,' asks legolas timidly.
'Hmm ?'
'I know that this will probably shock you out of your wits but I just have said it.' He sounds sad.
I raise my head to look at him. 'Okay. Go ahead .'
Legolas draws a deep shuddering breath. 'I'm in love with you .' It's nearly a question and his voice is so shaky that I hardly understand him.
'I know ,' I say.
'You . you know ? But, wait ? Why did you do this if you knew that it would be more than a fling for me ?'
I twist his golden-blond hair around my fingers. 'How do you know that it is just a fling to me ?'
Legolas' blue eyes go big and he looks at me in mingled disbelief and happiness. 'Really ? It's more ?'
'Really really .'
'What does that mean ?'
'It means . it means that I was falling in love with you in the last time and I guess now I ended up actually being in love with you .' My voice trailed off. But it was true. There was no guilty feeling inside me, nothing that would remember me of glorfindel in this moment. I hear legolas sigh and then he kisses me gently.
'Let's go home, love. It's starting to be dark.'
Love. It sounds so good. Great. I would love to hear it again but I feel it too childish a thing to ask him to repeat it. Probably it is just so sweet because people don't say it all that often. At least if they are talking to me. Belike, it becomes like every other word once it wears out.
'No. Not now. I don't want to go back already !'
'Yes, come on . Elladan and Elrohir will start to be bored with their job by now ,' legolas says smiling.
'Oh. Okay. If you think so.'
We walk back to rivendell holding hands. The sun is sinking blood red behind the trees and nearly blinds my eyes. Legolas looks at me with his huge blue eyes.
'Love you.' he whispers, those eyes flickering.
'Love you, too .' There, I said it. It takes me two days to fall for legolas. Does this mean anything ? Probably that I should have started to get over glorfindel long ago.
When we enter rivendell, elladan and elrohir come dashing up, meeting us halfway.
'Know what ?', shouts elladan excitedly.
'No. But I'd bet a few good horses that you're gonna tell me any time soon ,' I answer.
Elladan pretends to be very secretive. 'I don't know if I should actually tell you .'
'Elrond found a potion to make glorfindel wake up ,' elrohir blurts out and elladan shoots him a very disapproving look.
'Really ?', I ask incredously.
'Yes ,' confirms elladan. 'It's true. But there is also bad news for you .'
'Go ahead, it won't kill me .' Probably it won't. It will just make me so jealous. So jealous.
'Well, as you broke Glorfindel's heart, he won't be in love with you after he came to .'
'Yes. It's okay. It's not that bad.'
'I see ,' elladan smiles. 'You know, I thought it was good that you go out with legolas.'
'Me too ,' I say. 'Or I would be grieving to death right now.'
'It will take him only a few days to wake. Lord Elrond came to take care of him himself. To make sure no one but him might screw the whole process up.'
'Well, do you think, you can let me know about it as soon as glorfindel wakes ?'
'Of course. Don't worry, usually lord elrond knows what he does.'
'We gotta go now,' says elladan with a look at legolas and me. 'I guess you need some privacy still .' And with a swish of their grey elven-cloaks they vanish between the trees.
'I told you, everything will be all right ,' legolas whispers.
'I still have time to learn to trust you .'
'All the ages of the world if you only want to ,' he says and smiles cutely. 'Otherwise I'll make you stay with me.'
'Don't worry. I'm all yours. Promised.'
'Promised, sealed and accepted ,' legolas replies, the smile widening. 'Let's go and spend some quality time.'
'Okay. I see, our minds sometimes work the very same way. I just worked on a strategy to get you to our room.'
'Well, don't waste time then. I don't wanna lose one second with you .'
I give him a look and he knows I feel the same. He takes my hand and we walk into rivendell, finally a couple after all the confusion.
People who think that Glorfindel & Haldir should remain a couple, please read the previous chapter. Thank You.
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'You know ? How do you know I do ? I never told you !'
'I would be blind if I wouldn't see.'
'But . but .'
'Don't worry ,' legolas says. 'That doesn't mean you don't love glorfindel. I believe you love him. But that doesn't mean you can keep yourself from liking other elves, too.'
'Well, I guess you're right. I said it and I mean it.'
'And you know very well why I stayed here.'
'Because of me ?'
'Yes. Because of you. I can't take it how you waste your time on glorfindel's bedside.'
'I love him !' Do I ?
'I know that. You told me often enough. But he won't wake up ! No one ever woke up. No one !'
Tears are flooding into my eyes. I can't take the sound of the truth.
'And hypothetically : IF he would wake up, do you think he'd love you ? You BROKE his heart. He's not going to fall into your arms again.'
More tears streaming and I can't keep them back. I don't even want to keep them back anymore. I jump from the horse and start to run away. I know it's childish and I can't avoid seeing the truth one day but I can't stand the sound of those cruel words.
I stumble into the forest and legolas is calling me to come back.
'Haldir, come back. I didn't mean . I didn't mean to hurt you. Please!'
I don't listen. I just want to get away from those words that make my heart feel dead and empty. I run like hunted deer through the endless forest and I can here the hoof-beats of legolas' horse behind me. Finally I fall down in the shadows of a weeping willow and feel too shattered to move. I would never have guessed that I could run like that after doing nothing but sitting by glorfindel's bedside for half a century.
I'm still panting for breath when legolas rudely brings the horse to a halt next to me. I try to get up and run for it again but my legs don't obey and give in under my weight, causing me to fall again.
Legolas is falling to his knees and flings his arms around me.
'Haldir, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry . I didn't mean it. I just . just don't want you to perish with him. You are much too precious to just fade away in a little room on his bedside.'
I allow the embrace and weep silently on his shoulder. 'But I love him, don't you understand ?' Yes, I say I love him. But what does that mean to me ? Sitting on his bedside for the rest of my wretched life ? The words are empty to me.
'Of course. Do you think I've never been in love ? Love can be cruel and hurt like hell but you will never get over the loss if you hide from the world.'
I look at him and his sapphire blue eyes burn into my hazel ones. 'Promise me that you won't stay with him tomorrow.'
'I - I c-can't. There is nothing I could do instead.'
'Just suggest something and I'll be glad to accompany you .'
'Really ?'
'Yes. You know that my work is not that interesting, so I would take a day off and we'd walk somewhere, for example.'
'But you let me be with him tonight ?'
Legolas sighs. 'Yes, I'll let you be with him. IF you suggest something for us to do.'
'Just me and you ?
'We can take elladan and elrohir with us if you want to.'
Do I want that ? No, I want to go with legolas only.
'No. I wanted to have them watching over glorfindel.'
'The lucky guys ,' says legolas sarcastically.
I don't say anything. He will never understand. And I won't force him to.
'You know the lake down by the stream ?'
'Mm. But it's hardly an hour to walk there. Do you really need to be back that badly ?'
'Actually I thought we could go swimming. What do you think ?'
There is utter surprise in legolas gorgeous blue eyes. 'Swimming ? Just me and you ?'
'Well, that's what you suggested. And ? Are we going ?'
'Yes. Of course, if you want to.'
Since I started thinking about it the idea got better every second. It is going to be great to swim again and feel the clear water of the lake on my skin. To get out of that room. Certainly, glorfindel's room was magnificient but after fifty years of being in there some of the splendor had worn of. It is so great to be outside with no ceiling and no walls keeping you in.
'Yes. Yes, I really want to. I just noticed how I missed to be outside.'
Legolas looks at me. There's fire in his eyes. Blue flames or waves. 'I bet you missed this, too.'
He leans over to me and kisses me gently on the mouth, pulling back than. I'm speechless.
'It's not as bad as I thought. You didn't hit me .'
'No. No, it was okay,' I say hastily and surpress the urge to touch my lips.
'Well, I guess we better get going, we are pretty far from rivendell because you had to run a little while to get rid of some unwanted feelings, hm ?'
'I'm sorry .'
'No need to be sorry. I just said, we'd better get going.'
The way back is different from the time before. I feel confused because of that little peck on the mouth that legolas gave me. It feels strange to hold on to him on the horse but I try to hide that my mind is reeling by talking about easy, normal topics. Not about glorfindel, either.
Thinking about him makes me guilty. But why ? I didn't do anything. Or is it because I actually *liked* what legolas did ? And if, we are friends, it's nothing out of the ordinary. Mind, calm down, it was nothing that would make glorfindel even jealous.
When we reach the stable and the horse has been taken away, legolas looks at me with his cutest, big bambi-eyes.
'You want to ask me something, I gather ,' I say and he displays the matching 'cutest-smile' in return.
'Come to dinner with me. Please.'
I feel my brow furrowing. He said he's let me go back to glorfindel. Legolas still looks at me.
'Please. Please, please, please .', he begs. 'Just have an hour and you're free. PLEASE !' He flutters his lashes in a begging sort of way that looks rather suggestively to me.
'Okay. Right, then. I guess you have never anybody giving you the big E , huh ?'
'Not all that often . Come on.'
He drags me towards the halls and into the dining hall. I know it was a bad idea to go with him. I meet a lot of old friends and can't stop talking and even worse, I don't want to stop. Everybody has to tell something interesting and my mind absorbs everything greedily, just like a dry sponge. All of those elves are asking how glorfindel feels and I tell tem apart from sleeping all the time he'd be fine.
Legolas is close to me all the time as if to protect me if I got too much. But I can't. All that chat reminds me of the time when I used to be down here every day.
It's getting late and after four hours and a respectable amount of emptied wine glasses, legolas takes me to glorfindel's room. The world is swaying slightly and legolas holds me in case I'm going to fall.
'Did you see elrond's face when you came to talk to him ?', legolas asks laughing.
'I guess he was shocked to see I'm still alive ,' I say.
We reach the door of glorfindel's room. Legolas presses me rather fiercely against it and looks into my eyes.
'Promise you'll be there.'
'I - I promise.' I got the hiccups because I was drinking so much wine and I'm not used to alcohol.
'Good night, legolas.'
Legolas suddenly flings himself forward and kisses my lips again, a few times, one kiss shortly after the other. 'Sweet dreams, haldir.'
Then he turns around and leaves me even more confused than I was before. I enter glorfindel's room and find him sleeping peacefully, as always.
I take a while looking out of the window dreaming away before I get into bed.
I'm looking at glorfindel lying there, quietly and feel guilty again. I start to brush and braid his hair to distract myself of exactly HOW guilty I feel. Glorfindel is so beautiful and I love him. But he's sleeping and he'll be like that forever. I have to get over him sooner or later. But it's too early. It's way too early.
'I'm sorry, love. I know I promised I'd be back sooner but I was kept. . And what I really need you to know because I feel horribly guilty is that legolas kissed me today. Nothing so special but I guess I needed to say it.'
The sound of the words gives me the chills deep down in my stomach. Legolas kissed me.
Why ? Why ? Because he pities me. He just wants me to think about something else than glorfindel all the time. And that really succeeded. There is another feeling, deep down where I usually don't care to store anything. I anticipate to go swimming with legolas tomorrow. I'm getting excited while I'm thinking about it. I tell myself that it is normal to anticipate going out after all the years inside. It's not because of legolas, anyway.
In the morning I'm collecting my things to go out. Glorfindel smiles and is obviously content when the twins arrive to watch over him. I don't know why I need somebody to watch over him but it just feels better if he's not alone. Actually, I'm feeling less guilty if he's not alone.
'So, we just sit and watch this sleeping beauty, right ,' elladan inquires.
'Right. Just that. Not more.'
'Why ?'
'I won't tell you. Just watch him.'
'Okay. Don't be such a grouch. We'll watch your precious lord glorfindel.'
'Thank you.'
'Where are you going anyway? You've not been out a long time !'
'I'm going to swim. We're walking to the lake.'
'WE ?', elladan asks curiously. 'You and who ?'
'Legolas and I .'
Both elladan and elrohir dissolve in a laughing-fit.
'What ? WHAT ??? Did I miss something ?'
'So he finally got you to be attracted to him ?'
'No. What are you talking about ?', I ask, stunned.
'Don't tell me you don't know! He's head over heels in love with you, trust me. That's why he makes all that effort, what did you think, you innocent little guardian ?'
'You sure ?' I think my heart just skipped a few beats. He's in love with me ?
'Dead sure . You'll see. Did he never try to get close to you ?'
The look on my face must have told him the answer.
'Well, there you go.'
'Oh my god.'
'Well, nothing to be afraid of. Glorfindel won't mind, believe me. He has us to watch over him. Now go ahead and have some fun.'
He shoves me out the door. I cast a last look a glorfindel in his death- like sleep and turn around to meet legolas in the garden.
On my way a lot of elves say hello or just wave to me from afar. It feels good. Yesterday they were all staring so curiously but now I got them back on my side.
Legolas is already waiting for my, sitting on a bench under a linden tree. I'm watching him from some way of. He looks beautiful in the sunlight, his golden hair glittering and the slender body relaxing in the warm rays. He smiles when I finally walk over to him.
'You're late, guardian.'
'Excuse me. I had some trouble with the twins. They wouldn't understand that glorfindel needs to be watched.'
'Well, I don't understand that. What do you fear ? That he falls off the bed ?'
'I don't know. There can always be something.'
'Yes, right. Come on, let's start out before the best time to lie in the sun is over .'
'You're going to lie in the sun ?'
'Of course. No swimming without sun-bathing before. What did you think ?'
'I'm going to watch you from my place in the shadow.'
'I don't think so. I will force you to sun-bathe. You're so pale anyway.'
I guess I can't say no if he gives me the bambi-eyes. And I actually know he will if I refuse. So why refuse ? Because that's my nature.
The walk to the lake is relaxing already. At some times legolas just slips his arm around my waist while he's walking next to me as if it would be the most natural thing in this world and I allow the touch. We talk about little nothings, he obviously trying not to rip my clothes of and make love to me right where we fall into the grass, me trying not to give him encouraging looks.
'I think we are nearly there, and you ? I can here the water splashing.'
'Do you think there'll be a lot of people there ?', I ask, just to keep the conversation going.
'No. My guess is nobody. There are few who now that this lake is here. They spend their days in rivendell rather walking in the forests than actually walking across a meadow into that valley. They can't even see the lake from the forest.'
'So we're the only ones there ?'
'I suppose so. Are you uncomfortable with that?'
No, actually not. A tingling feeling is running down my spine. I really think it's not a bad idea to be alone. Not everybody needs to see me with him.
'No. I'm fine. Why shouldn't I ?' I'm giving him an honest smile and he seems relieved.
'No. I just thought . nothing .'
'Well, that's nothing new ,' I answer teasingly.
'Haha. You're so funny.'
'Ain't that the truth .'
'And vain .'
'I know. But don't tell me you're not .'
'And if ?', he asks smiling.
'I wouldn't believe you. I do at least admit it .'
'Well, you are beautiful anyway.'
'Thanks. You are, too. I guess you know that. Or somebody already told you.'
'No. Not that I would recall. I really think you're the first one to ever tell me I'm beautiful.'
'Then let me correct myself. I'd rather say you're gorgeous.'
'Really ?'
'Really.' Am I flirting with him ? Even though I'm in love with glorfindel ? He would never forgive me if he knew that I'm talking to the prince of mirkwood like this.
Legolas blushes anyway and attempts a smile. 'Thank you.'
'Now, let's hurry up. I really want to go swimming and you need to lie in the sun, don't you ?'
'Yes.'
And I really have to stop looking into those eyes or I'm going to give in to a feeling that I thought dead. Better, which I thought was impossible for me to feel again. To fall in love.
We reach the lake and there is really nobody there. The soft grass at the bank just waits for an elf to lie down on it and take the desired sunbath.
'Wow, I forgot how nice this place really is.'
'You forgot a lot during the last years .' I can practically hear him think : And I'll make you recall it.
'Well, take your sun bath. I'll wait for you under this nice willow.'
'No, you are not .'
He just grabs me and carries me down to the banks of the lake.
'Hey, don't do that .'
'Do what ?'
'Don't carry me !'
'Why not ? And I'll let you down now. Don't whine.'
He really let me down to take his sun bath with him and just starts to take his cloth of until only a kind of loincloth remained. I feel dizzy. His body is just as gorgeous as I thought.
Wait, I did think about his body before ? Yes, I did. And I imagined it just like this. Practically in the raw.
'Now, don't you want to take your clothes off ?'
'What ? - Oh, yes, of course.'
Legolas sprawls himself in the grass and closes his eyes against the sun. I hesitantly start to take the clothes off.
'Need help ?' legolas asks lazily.
'Nah, thanks, I'll manage.'
Legolas opens one eye to look at me. 'Sure ?' Then his breath catches. 'By Valar !'
'What is it ?', I ask knowing very well that my body is not in a bad shape, either.
Suddenly legolas seems rather nervous and fidgets around with his hands.
'You wanted me to take a sun bath, didn't you ?'
'Y-Yes, but I didn't think .'
'That I look THIS good ?' I just couldn't keep it back. Bad Haldir !
Legolas swallows hard. 'Yes. This is like WOW ! . Sorry,' he adds quickly.
'No. I'm fine with compliments. I actually like them.'
I lie down in the grass. It tickles my back and I smile and close my eyes. I can feel legolas eyes travel over my skin, lingering here and there. And, too right, when I open my eyes he is still staring at me, all mesmerized.
I do think that he does look drop-dead sexy, too, but I keep it to myself. No need telling him, he's already nervous enough.
'What about your sun bath, legolas ?'
'I . I guess I better go swimming first .'
'Okay. I'll come along. I don't need to loiter here alone.'
'Sure ?'
'Why not ? You just thought nothing ? Forget it. I'm coming. I suggested this, didn't I ?'
'Yes. Okay. I didn't want to keep you from it.'
We both get up and I jump into the cold water with a splash, all at once. It's cold, but not so cold that I'd get a heart-attack of just jumping in. Legolas stands near the banks the water reaching up to his ankles. Spectacular, I'll say. What a softie.
'Come on ! It's not that cold ,' I call but legolas only pouts cutely.
'That's what you say ! I think it's pretty cold !'
'Softie !'
'I'm not ,' he yells.
I'm wading through the water. 'I'll show you !' Glorfindel might never forgive me but I just have to do this. I splash up the water to make it run over my skin and then press my cold and wet body to legolas'. He whimpers and tilts his head back.
'See ? It's not that cold !', I whisper in a purring kind of voice and give legolas time to feel.
'Ahh, don't let go .'
Of course I let go. 'Come deeper into the water with me.'
Gingerly legolas takes one step after the other until he finally stands in the water to his collarbones. I'm diving around in the deep crystal clear water and scare some fish that cross my way.
Every now and then I get up to get some air and to check if legolas is still in the water. He is. Every time I check he's standing right where he stood all the time, like an alabaster-statue.
But suddenly, after I just checked once again I see a swish of golden hair close to me. I whirl around and see legolas diving pretty close to me, smiling and coming closer still. I smile as well and legolas wraps his arms around me, his skin feeling warm in the cold water. I'm not trying to escape. This is far too romantic to ruin it by struggling against his embrace. He combs his fingers through my floating silver hair, then he lets them run down the back of my neck. It feels better than I would ever have hoped. There is only one thing that is missing here . I look into legolas deep blue eyes and he closes the distance between our lips to an inch.
Oh, come on. Just does it, this waiting is so terrible. Please.
And then he does it. Our lips meet ever so gently and I see legolas closing his eyes. Oh my god he's going to try it . I feel a hot shiver running all through my body when legolas tongue runs along my upper lip asking for entrance. My eyes flutter shut and of course I part my lips at the softest touch and let the kiss happen. It brings rush of cold water into my mouth, too, but I don't really care.
Finally I push up causing us to float to the surface where we both pant for breath. I drift away until my feet touch the ground and give him a very very suggestive come-hither look and legolas licks his lips.
'Why are you doing this ?', he asks with still slightly ragged breath.
'Because I want to.'
The answer seems to be good enough for his taste. He swims over to me and resumes what he started underwater. I gladly join in to quite a number of sweet kisses in the cold water. Legolas knows what he does there, who could resist this elf's french kissing ? Well, I know this much : I can't.
We are hardly out of the water and in the soft warm grass when the little remains of clothes are cast to the ground. My mind is screaming for a while : Don't do this, you nerd, what will glorfindel ever think of this ? But I decide not to listen and to rather pay attention to legolas tending to my in anticipation writhing body.
Damn it, I can't help it, I can't say Stop now, it just feels far too blessed good. I'm just an elf, I can't help anymore that I'm ending up with legolas making love to me on the banks and in the water as well. And hell, it's just what I want and to say it bluntly what I need, too. Fifty years without the slightest touch of someone who loves me is not a really short time.
Luckily there seem to be no other elves around, neither on the lake nor in the near forests because legolas and I, of course, can't keep ourselves too quiet. It's wonderful and also kinda mawkish to lie with legolas in the romantic surrounding and the summer-sun on my skin. I guess, this is way better than sun bathing, anyway.
I suppose it's the longest time I ever stayed at this lake. And the most beautiful, too. When the sun starts sinking behind the trees of the forest I lie snuggled up to legolas and recover from the days events of the day.
'Haldir ,' asks legolas timidly.
'Hmm ?'
'I know that this will probably shock you out of your wits but I just have said it.' He sounds sad.
I raise my head to look at him. 'Okay. Go ahead .'
Legolas draws a deep shuddering breath. 'I'm in love with you .' It's nearly a question and his voice is so shaky that I hardly understand him.
'I know ,' I say.
'You . you know ? But, wait ? Why did you do this if you knew that it would be more than a fling for me ?'
I twist his golden-blond hair around my fingers. 'How do you know that it is just a fling to me ?'
Legolas' blue eyes go big and he looks at me in mingled disbelief and happiness. 'Really ? It's more ?'
'Really really .'
'What does that mean ?'
'It means . it means that I was falling in love with you in the last time and I guess now I ended up actually being in love with you .' My voice trailed off. But it was true. There was no guilty feeling inside me, nothing that would remember me of glorfindel in this moment. I hear legolas sigh and then he kisses me gently.
'Let's go home, love. It's starting to be dark.'
Love. It sounds so good. Great. I would love to hear it again but I feel it too childish a thing to ask him to repeat it. Probably it is just so sweet because people don't say it all that often. At least if they are talking to me. Belike, it becomes like every other word once it wears out.
'No. Not now. I don't want to go back already !'
'Yes, come on . Elladan and Elrohir will start to be bored with their job by now ,' legolas says smiling.
'Oh. Okay. If you think so.'
We walk back to rivendell holding hands. The sun is sinking blood red behind the trees and nearly blinds my eyes. Legolas looks at me with his huge blue eyes.
'Love you.' he whispers, those eyes flickering.
'Love you, too .' There, I said it. It takes me two days to fall for legolas. Does this mean anything ? Probably that I should have started to get over glorfindel long ago.
When we enter rivendell, elladan and elrohir come dashing up, meeting us halfway.
'Know what ?', shouts elladan excitedly.
'No. But I'd bet a few good horses that you're gonna tell me any time soon ,' I answer.
Elladan pretends to be very secretive. 'I don't know if I should actually tell you .'
'Elrond found a potion to make glorfindel wake up ,' elrohir blurts out and elladan shoots him a very disapproving look.
'Really ?', I ask incredously.
'Yes ,' confirms elladan. 'It's true. But there is also bad news for you .'
'Go ahead, it won't kill me .' Probably it won't. It will just make me so jealous. So jealous.
'Well, as you broke Glorfindel's heart, he won't be in love with you after he came to .'
'Yes. It's okay. It's not that bad.'
'I see ,' elladan smiles. 'You know, I thought it was good that you go out with legolas.'
'Me too ,' I say. 'Or I would be grieving to death right now.'
'It will take him only a few days to wake. Lord Elrond came to take care of him himself. To make sure no one but him might screw the whole process up.'
'Well, do you think, you can let me know about it as soon as glorfindel wakes ?'
'Of course. Don't worry, usually lord elrond knows what he does.'
'We gotta go now,' says elladan with a look at legolas and me. 'I guess you need some privacy still .' And with a swish of their grey elven-cloaks they vanish between the trees.
'I told you, everything will be all right ,' legolas whispers.
'I still have time to learn to trust you .'
'All the ages of the world if you only want to ,' he says and smiles cutely. 'Otherwise I'll make you stay with me.'
'Don't worry. I'm all yours. Promised.'
'Promised, sealed and accepted ,' legolas replies, the smile widening. 'Let's go and spend some quality time.'
'Okay. I see, our minds sometimes work the very same way. I just worked on a strategy to get you to our room.'
'Well, don't waste time then. I don't wanna lose one second with you .'
I give him a look and he knows I feel the same. He takes my hand and we walk into rivendell, finally a couple after all the confusion.
