Part Five

In silence, I took my standard position; ready to fail whatever I was going to be told to do. Hartia moved to sit on the battered boulder which usually served as my target. He called me over, and patted the rock face beside him.

"There will be no lesson today, Majic."
"Why, Master?" I was worried. His voice sounded so serious. "Have I done something wrong?"
"On the contrary, I'm impressed that you learnt how to do that enchantment in one night. It prompts me to ask what I'm doing wrong in my attempts to teach you other spells?"
I could hear the underlying pain in his words, and it told me he already knew the answer. No matter how hard he tried, he would always be second to Orphen in every single thing he did.
"It's not you, Master." It's me. It's my stupid belief that if I let you in, you'll replace Orphen - just like you have in my dreams. At least let me keep one small part of him! I want to learn, but I can't let you teach me. "You always tell me that magic comes from the heart, but fire summons aren't what's in my heart."
He sighed, obviously unconvinced by a word I said. "If that's what you believe, Majic."

Silence again, but for a distant crow cawing, presumably from a headstone in the Tower's cemetery. I looked over at my master. His head was bowed, and a curtain of scarlet strands hid his face. His right hand reached across his body to touch the flower pinned to his dark robes by his Tower of Fang medallion. Pink and red glitter danced across his skin with each caress, and I couldn't be sure, but I think he was crying.

"Master?" Before I could stop myself, I'd leant over and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from the flower. Sad golden eyes met my own blue eyes, and our hands seemed to move on their own accord, linking fingers as we just stared at each other. "Don't you like my gift?"

I moved to straddle his thighs with my own; my bent knees clamped against his hips, as I leant forward and brushed my lips softly against his. I've only ever kissed one girl before - and neither of us had any idea what we were doing - so I really didn't know what to expect. My mouth didn't commit to any style or dominance... it just rested against Hartia's for a moment. I was hoping he would follow up with his own talents and teach me what I wanted to learn from him, but he just sat there like the surrounding rocks.

My arms snaked around his neck and I pulled myself closer to him, purposely grinding my erection against his stomach. I felt his entire body tense up beneath me and without warning, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away.

"Majic, you're too young to understand the seriousness of your actions." I can tell it's hurting him to say it as much as it's hurting me to hear to it. "I can't let you do this."
"Master, I need you!" My body feels like it's not my own. It's like I'm standing back watching it tighten one arm around Hartia's shoulders and trying to rekindle the kiss that never had the chance to begin. I find my right hand running down his chest, daring to unclip the silver brooch that secures his cloak around his neck. Is this instinct?

He squeezes my hand, forcing me to drop the medallion, along with my flower. It falls to the stony ground with an uncomfortably loud clatter, putting me on edge. I can't afford to get caught... I can't afford for him to be caught.

His arms wrap around me, holding me tight - but not like a lover, more like a father... a protector. He's stroking my hair, and I know he means to comfort me, but all I want to do is cry. Why doesn't he love me? Is there something wrong with me?

"I care too much about you to let you do this. What would Krylancelo say if he could see you now?"
Every denial makes me want him more. It's not the thrill of the challenge - I love him far too much to simply label my seduction as that. I want him like he was in my dream last night - willing to accept everything that I gladly offered him. My love; my body; my virginity...

"I don't care what he thinks!" Yes, you do. "All I care about is making you happy."
"And you think this will?!"
I don't have to look at him to know he's wearing that expression of disappointment. I've seen it so many times that I can hear it in his voice.
"Majic, what will make me happy is if you walk back to your room right now with your honour intact. I will know then that I have a strong apprentice."

I don't know what to say. He doesn't want me. And I've made it impossible for him to continue training me. What will he see every time he looks at me? A little boy... A little boy who took a crush too far, and embarrassed him.

I tripped on my robes and fell as I scrambled to get out of his sight.
"Majic!"
I didn't look back. How could I? I got to my awkward feet and ran, not stopping until I was hidden in the shadows of the gardens by the Tower itself - where I leant into the nearest tree trunk and set my tears free.

"Majic!" Hartia's voice was close as he called out to me, causing me to stifle a sniffle that would give me away. "Majic!"

He stopped in front of the garden, studying it for a moment. He hadn't re-fastened his cloak and it was draping precariously on one shoulder. As he took off in a furious sprint, it fell to the ground behind him. He didn't seem to care about it; his only concern was... finding me.

"Majic!" He was on the other side of the garden now, looking around as though lost.
His shouting had alerted the guards on patrol, and one was making his way over to him. I heard them muttering to one another, not actually making out any words, before the guard nodded and walked back the way he came.

Hartia stood in full view under the fading light of sunset, his shoulders slumped and his face sorrowful as he looked at the crumpled petals in his trembling fist. Without his heavy cloak to bulk him up, wearing only his calf-length coat and pants, he looks so fragile.

As he passed by me, he ran his hand through his hair and swore in a single syllable under his breath. I didn't know whether he was giving up, or whether the guard had told him to be quiet, but he was returning to his quarters.

"Master..." I sigh. What would Orphen do? Probably nothing. He bottled everything up inside and only ever allowed me to see hints of what was brewing deep down in his troubled soul. Yes, I admire him for who and what he is, but I don't ever want to torture myself like that. And so I must do something.

Hartia's balcony presents me with an opportunity. I can see him slumped over the balustrade clearly from the garden. He still has my flower in his hand, and he's staring at it like it's the most interesting thing in the entire universe.
"No." He finally mutters, closing his eyes and letting the broken petals fall from his opening palm and scatter on the breeze. "I can't."

Why doesn't he take me seriously? It's not like we have a huge age difference between us - five or six years at the most. Yet he dismissed me like a child. My feelings are just as valid as those of someone twice my age... and I'll make him see that.

"Hartia?" The voice makes me jump as it springs from the shadows, followed by its owner, emerging from the double doors leading into my master's room. "Are you all right?"
"Not really, Lai. I'm worried about Majic."
"As am I. He has very strong feelings for you."
"I know." He seemed to be staring out toward the petals. "But I didn't realise how strong. Lai... if only you could have felt the depth of love in that flower he gave me! I've never felt anything like it."
"What are you saying?"
"He tried to kiss me before-"

I covered my face with my hands. I wanted to scream. How could he embarrass me like that?!

"-and I wanted to let him."

My breath caught in my throat. Did he really say that? Or was I so upset, I was hearing things? No, he had to have said it. He wanted to kiss me back! I gripped a nearby branch for fear of my knees giving in.

"Hartia! You can't let that happen! Do you know what the Elders would do to you? Do you know what they would do to Majic?"
"I won't let it happen." My master snapped back, equally as agitated as his friend.
"I wish I could believe that."
"Then what do you suggest I do? He's already lost Krylancelo. Would you have me taken away from him, as well?"
"Don't be like that." Lai ran a comforting hand up and down Hartia's arm, although I barely noticed through the pride swelling in my chest. He would defend me! "We'll figure something out tomorrow, okay?"

"Lai?" Hartia called the psychic back as he made to leave. "Would you... divine Krylancelo's whereabouts again? Please?"
He nodded. "Of course."