Disclaimer: Nope. Nothing.

*This story is dedicated to a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. I'm sorry Fate took everything away from you.
WARNING: This fic gets graphic, and is rated R. A big "R"!!! However, I will tell you when the graphic stuff begins
and ends. Kayz? ^_^
I Wish It Was Different
Ch. 8: "Misery"
Kagome sat on the couch, watching T.V., while she petted her cat, Buyo, as he rested on her lap. Buyo purred and stroked
his lazy head against her hand. Kagome smiled warmly.

"Oh, Buyo. You're getting so old and fat, but I love you even more."

Buyo "meow"ed his answered, and purred even more. Kagome looked at the clock on the wall.

"Oh, my! Nagura-kun will be home soon! I better fix dinner!" Kagome said to no one in particular, save her cat, Buyo.

She set the over weighted cat to the side, who got up and followed her to the kitchen. Kagome giggled as Buyo rubbed
against her legs, meowing for dinner. Kagome laughed and got out the "Weight loosing" cat food. (AN: That stuff helps!
It helped my cat, Sylvester! ^_^ ...But then he gained weight again... -_-()] and poured it into his dish.

Buyo immediately started gulping down the food, and Kagome just had to laugh. When Nagura came home, Kagome already had
the food set out on the table, and she sat patiently across from where her husband sat.

When Nagura came into the kitchen, he gave his wife a smile, sat down, and started eating.

"So how was work today, Nagura-kun?"

"Fine." Nagura gave his quick answer.

They ate in silence again. Kagome was afraid to pressure him more, due to the fact he might have a mood change again.
Kagome never knew when his violent reactions will occur, however, she did her best to avoid them.

He often brought his work's stress home with him, and vented his anger out on Kagome. This reminded her so much of
Inu Yasha, however, the hanyou would never push her like her husband does. The first time he had a violent reaction,
Nagura pushed Kagome hard against the wall.

"So, what happened today?" Kagome tried again, praying her husband wouldn't suddenly turn on her like a mad dog. The
thought of a dog brought Inu Yasha to her mind, however, she shoved him away.

Nagura gave Kagome a chilling glare, which made Kagome put her head down and pray he doesn't suddenly turn.

"Nothing much." her husband answered, which made Kagome utterly confused. She always got sick of these mind games! Naraku
often popped up in her mind when she thought of the mind games he played.

"That's good." Kagome replied back. "Are you finished with your meal?"

"Does it look like I am?"

Kagome looked at Nigura's empty plate, put her head down in shame, and nodded.

"Honestly, woman, I don't know how I put up with your stupidity."

Nigura left the table. Kagome fought the tears that filled her eyes to the brim, but they dropped down none the less.

Buyo seemed to sense Kagome's distress, and he went over to her, purring and rubbing against her legs. Kagome smiled,
picked her fat cat up and scratched behind his ears. This caused Kagome to giggle.

"What are you doing?!"
*Graphic begins*
Kagome jumped, which caused her to throw Buyo down. Kagome gasped, bent over under the table, and petted Buyo again.

"Gomen nasai, Buyo! I didn't mean to!"

Nigura walked over to the table, grabbed Buyo, threw him on the ground, and kicked him across the room. The poor cat let
out a meow of pain, which caused him to run away on his aching belly, still meowing softly in pain.

"BUYO!" Kagome shouted, and she got up to get her cat. Her husband, however, grabbed her and threw her against the wall.
Kagome let out a cry of pain, but it was greeted by a slap in the face.

Kagome put a hand up to the side of her face that was slapped. She looked at Nigura in pain, but her just glared back.
*Graphic ends*
Kagome calmly went to the table and proceeded to clear the table. She out them in the sink, and washed the dishes, knowing
her husband was watching her the whole time.

She dried and out them away. When she turned around, her husband was sitting at the table, but still glaring at her.

When she tried to leave the room, Nigura stopped her. He grabbed her and roughly slammed her down on her chair where she
eats. He sat back down in his place and began his glaring contest with her.

"What is it, Nigura-kun?" Kagome asked softly.

"Guess." Nigura replied coldly.

*What is with his mind games?!* Kagome asked herself. Once again, Kagome's thoughts were turned to Naraku.

"I don't know what I did." Kagome replied, softly.

"That's because you are stupid."

Kagome put her head down in shame again. The hours passed by, and the two remained where they were, neither moving an inch.

"I'm getting tired of this!" Nigura exclaimed, highly irritated at Kagome's "Stupidiness."

"What is it?"

"You didn't answer my question!" Nigura shouted.

Kagome's mouth couldn't help but fly open. After all those hours, he kept her there just because she didn't answer his
question?!

"I asked, what are you doing?!"

"I was just petting Buyo." Kagome replied.

"You're supposed to do the dishes first! Not pet some stupid cat!"

"Buyo is not stupid!"

"Don't talk back to me bitch! Or I'll smack you so hard, your mother will have to come over and find your teeth!"

"My cat is NOT stupid!" Kagome shouted, feeling very brave, as she got up and slammed her fists on the table.

Nigura jumped up and back handed Kagome so hard, she fell to the floor. Kagome couldn't help but sobbed out in pain, as
she picked herself up off the floor. However, she didn't get every far when her husband grabbed a fist full of her
jet-black hair and yanked her up.
*I'm going to stop there. Too much graphic stuff*
Kagome limped to the bathroom, her body received many bruises. After she cleaned up her wounds, she went in search of her
cat, Buyo, to find if he was all right. She found him under the bed her and Nigura shared.

"Buyo." Kagome called softly.

Buyo cautiously crawled up to her, sniffed her hand, then purred, aching, but very happy to see her.
Kagome couldn't believe how much her life was a living hell. Today, she was picking up the broken china dish her father
gave to her mother for a present. Nigura broke it. It was the result in yet another violent outburst.

After Kagome picked up the glass, and wiped her tears of anger, she settled down on the couch, physically and emotionally
exhausted. Buyo came up and jumped on her lap, and for the first time that day, Kagome felt a little happy.
"Okay," the doctor exclaimed. "How many injuries have you had this week, Mrs. Shiganashi?"

"I think five." Kagome replied.

"How are you getting all these injuries?"

"Clumsy."

The doctor did not believe her, but he couldn't report something that she never said happened.

"So, your husband wants a baby?"

"Hai." Kagome replied miserably.

The doctor pursed his lips.

"For the examination I did, Mrs. Shiganashi, if you have children, you will die in birth."

"I told my husband that, but he... doesn't seem to understand."

Kagome put her hand up to her arm where it was bruised. The doctor saw this.

"Well, I could always put you on birth control so you have greater chances of not getting pregnant."

"Sure. I'd like that."
Kagome put the pill in her mouth, drank a glass of water, and hid the pill package in one of her shoes.

Kagome didn't do this because she didn't want children. She did this because this was for her life. Still, she couldn't
help but feel guilty, and she didn't even know why.
A few weeks later, Kagome came back from grocery shopping, she was greeted by Nigura. But in a not so pleasant way.

Nigura watched her like a hawk watches it's prey, as Kagome put the groceries up where they belonged. When they were put
away, he cornered her.

"What is this?!" Nigura demanded as he held up her birth control pills.

Kagome went numb all over. She knew what was coming for her.

"The doctor gave them to me." Kagome answered.

Nigura opened the package that contained the pills, and threw them in her face. Kagome didn't know what over came her, but
she just ran. She didn't know where to run, or where to hide. All she knew was to run, and run she did.

She ran all the way up to her old room. *Why did I run here?*

However, Nigura grabbed her and pulled her in the room they shared. He slammed the door shut, grabbed Kagome by the
shoulders, slammed her against the wall, and kept her pinned there.

"Tell me, in stupid people's terms, why the hell you were taking those pills!"

"If I get pregnant, then I'll die in child birth! This is for my sake!"

"I don't give a shit about you!"

"Well I DO CARE ABOUT ME!!"

Nigura punched Kagome in the face, and threw her down to the ground. Kagome let out a cry of pain as she hit the ground.
Tears dripped on the floor, but not because of pain, but because of her misery.

Nigura was searching in the closet for something, so this would be the perfect time to escape.

Big mistake.
*Graphic part begins*
Kagome made a break for the door, only to turn the knob and find it was locked. Her hopes vanished and she closed her eyes
when she heard her husband's voice.

"Do you think I'm going to let you get away that easily?"

Kagome turned around and saw Nigura with four waist belts of his. Before she knew it, Nigura threw her on the bed, her
head hitting the headboard. Kagome didn't even realize what was happening, but before she knew it, she was naked, her
clothes ripped and laid on the floor, her legs tied at opposite ends of the bed by the belt buckles, as well as her arms.

All Kagome knew after that was pain. And she stayed tied up for several days.
*Graphic part ends*
When the doctor came into the room and confirmed that she was pregnant, Kagome broke down crying. The doctor tried his
best to comfort her, but it was futile.

This was when Kagome's thoughts fell on a hanyou named Inu Yasha for the first time in years. And she cursed the fact she
ever knew him.
Kagome put a hand to her stomach as she gazed out the window. Everything she wanted to be, she couldn't be. Everything she
wanted to do, she couldn't do.

She was four months along, and she could feel her child growing inside her. When she felt it kick, she smiled, and was
happy for the first time. Buyo, her still fat and getting more fat, cat found it difficult to curl up in her lap, but
she managed. Her cat could also cheer her up.

"Oh, Buyo, you're getting so old."

Buyo meowed as she stroked him.

The door opened and Nigura came home from work, and looking at his expression, had a hard day, and needed to find a scape
goat.

As always, Kagome was chosen.

"What did you do today?" Nigura asked his wife.

Kagome just gave him an answer, knowing he would find some kind of excuse to hit her. Kagome was REALLY starting to get
sick of it!

"I cleaned the house."

"It doesn't look good enough!"

Kagome sat on the floor, holding her face, and crying. She was really starting to get sick of the beatings, the crying,
but most of all, the fact that every time this happened, Nigura would stand over her with a smirk on his face.

And Kagome was finally sick of it all.

"I want a divorce!" she yelled out.

Nigura's eyes widened and a murderous look danced in his eyes. Kagome knew what was coming for her.

Her husband grabbed her wrist and hauled her up to a standing position. Nigura, still dragging Kagome along with him,
went to the closet, and pulled out some rope, and a gun.

Kagome's heart beat faster as he slammed her into a chair facing the kitchen counter, and proceeded to tie her up. He
loaded the gun, then left to the living room.

Kagome was in panic. He was going to kill her! He was going to kill her! She was even more shocked and confused when
Nigura carried Buyo into the kitchen with him.

He put Buyo's face to her's which Buyo then meowed, purred, and stroked his face against her's.
*Okay, everybody! Please understand that the next graphic section you are about to read (if you want) was NOT my idea. It
actually happened to a friend. The idea was her insane, sick mother's. I was VERY, VERY hesitant to place this section in
here. So please, please, I beg of you with all sincerity, please don't flame me!!*
Nigura pulled Buyo away from Kagome, still holding him in his arms, and he stroked the fat cat. Kagome was utterly
confused! But her eyes widened in horror as Nigura put Buyo on the counter, and pulled out a kitchen knife.

He grabbed Buyo.

"NO! NO! PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON'T DO IT NIGURA! I BEG OF YOU!"

Kagome rocked against the chair that she was tied to.

"I PROMISE YOU I WON'T DIVORCE YOU! I'LL STAY HER WITH YOU UNTIL MY DYEING DAY! I SWEAR IT!"

"But, Koishii! You threatened me!" Nigura exclaimed in mock sadness.

*Oh God, he's crazy!*

"I'm sorry I threatened you, anata!" Kagome had to force out the 'dear' part. She never felt right to call anyone else
than Inu Yasha, "Anata."

"But I have to punish you for it!"

With that said he put the knife to Buyo's nose, dug it in, and nipped off a the fur and skin, all the way down to the
bone.

Buyo screeched in a cat's way, and hissed at Nigura. Yet the bastard still held the back of Buyo's head firmly.

Kagome cried out with Buyo, and she closed her eyes, her heart unable to take it. She heard a click, and when she opened
her eyes, she saw Nigara pointing the gun directly at her forehead.

"You're going to watch it all!"

The Nigura went back to skinning Buyo alive. Screeching, hissing, and sobbs could be heard throughout the house.

After what seemed like hours, the screeching and hissing stopped, however, the sobs did not. Nigura put the knife down,
got a plate, and put the raw meat on it.

He went up to Kagome and held a piece of it to her.

"Are you going to leave me?"

Kagome looked up from the cat meat, up to Nigura, and back down to her cat, Buyo. All she could do was quietly nod to say
no. Nigura smiled softly, and kissed her lips. Kagome didn't respond. This made Nigura furious. He held the meat to
Kagome's lips and forced into her mouth. Kagome gagged, and spit it out.

"EAT IT!" Nigura yelled.

Kagome cried out at turned her head away from it. Nigura grabbed the gun and held it up to her temple.

"I said eat it!" Nigura exclaimed in a low, threatening voice.

Kagome, very sick to her stomach, did as he said.

After Nigura untied Kagome, she went straight up to the bathroom and threw up the contents in her stomach. She let out
a scream and cried without stopping.
*End of graphic part. Please don't flame me!*
Kagome never was in her right mind after that incident. She would sit in any corner in the house, curled up in a tight
ball (as far as her growing belly would let her), and she would rock back and forth.

Kagome was in her dreaded final month of pregnancy. Kagome dreaded this month, yet welcomed her up coming death with open
arms. The thought of dying and getting away from this misery and insanity pleased Kagome some what.

At last she would finally be free.....

Her water broke....

It was late in the evening, and she called to Nigura, telling him that she was in laybor. He only looked at her, shrugged
his shoulders, and went back to his work. Kagome stumbled down the stairs, almost falling, and collapsed on the floor,
crying out in pain.

"Damn it, bitch! If you don't keep quiet, I swear I'll give you something to cry about!"

Kagome could feel her baby trying to get out of her womb. She needed to get to a hospital and quick!

So the brave woman held back another cry from another contraction, grabbed the car keys, and ran out the door as fast
as she could. Just when she started the engine, Nigura came out of the house, attempting to stop her.

Kagome quickly, with shaking hands, put the car in drive, and floored the gas pedal, almost running over Nigura.

"Damn! I should of ran him over!" Kagome told herself outloud.

She also surprised herself by cursing like that. *Oh, what would the other's say to that?* Kagome was surprised, yet
again, when she found herself thinking about the gang in the past at her present time.

When she got to the hospital, the medic placed her on the stretcher, and rolled her into the emergency room.
Kagome huffed and puffed, her face and neck covered with perspiration. The contractions hit her hard, and she squeezed
the guard rails as tight as she could.

"Okay, Kagome, push!" the doctor instructed.

Kagome obeyed. She felt her new baby come out, and she plunged into darkness.
All around her was darkness.

"Am I dead?"

No one answered Kagome. Just then, she saw someone up ahead of her. She ran toward the person, wondering if they could
answer her questions. She gasped, as she saw who it was. The person had silver-white hair, the famous dog ears, and the
red kimono.

Inu Yasha.

"W-What are you doing here?!" Kagome demanded of the hanyou.

The half demon just turned around to face Kagome.

"Kagome?" the demon asked in slight confusion.

He walked up close to Kagome, and embraced her shortly, then let her go.

"Please, Kagome. Please come back to me. I miss you terribly!"

Kagome was about to say something, but then she heard a baby's cry that seemed to echo. She looked back at Inu Yasha,
whom seemed to not hear it.

"I will go back to living. But not for you. For my child."
Kagome woke up in a room that was surrounded with flowers, get well cards, and balloons that said:

"Congradulations! It's a boy!"

Kagome smiled proudly at herself. *I have a son!*

"Hello, dear! You're awake!" a nurse exclaimed. "Would you like to hold your son?"

"Please!"

The nurse went to the side of her bed, picked up a baby, and placed him in her arms. The boy looked shockingly like
Kagome!

*At least he isn't cursed with his father's looks!*

"How are you feeling, dear?"

"Fine."

"We were worried for a bit. We almost lost you in the delivery room."

"Well, I'm as alive as ever."

Kagome's son started to fuss. He placed his tiny hands on one of Kagome's breasts and squeezed, a goofy grin played on
his face.

Kagome laughed at this. "I know exactly what to name you! Your name will be Miroku!"
The years passed into the 4th year. Same events always happened within the home by the shrine. Same abuse, and same
mental tortures.

But this day was different.

Nigura and Miroku were watching T.V as Miroku did his homework. Kagome was chopping veggies in the kitchen, while she
heard Miroku, being a four year old, asking his father, why this, and why that.

Kagome couldn't help but smile. That is until she heard Nigura shout.

"Damn it, brat! Stop bugging me with questions!"

The she heard a slap, and her son started crying. Kagome was over come with rage and she ran into the living room, still
clutching the knife, where she saw Nigura kick her son in the stomach. Nigura then picked Miroku up and threw him against
the wall.

Kagome ran over to her fallen son, placing herself between him and the bastard, a murderous look filled her eyes. She
didn't care that this was a person she used to fear. Right now she felt like she had Tesuiguia in her hands, and not an
ordinary kitchen knife.

"Don't you EVER hurt my baby again!" Kagome told Nigura in a low, cold, threatening voice. "If you ever do, you will find
your pathetically small balls stuffed in your mouth!"

Nigura was VERY shocked by this, and judging by Kagome's expression, she meant every word. So he left out the door.

Kagome dropped the knife and hugged her crying son in her arms.
Nigura never touched Miroku after Kagome's promise. One particular day, as Fate would have it, Kagome came home from her
monthly doctor check, only to find out, she was pregnant again.

"Nigura. I'm pregnant." Kagome told her husband as if they were talking about the nightly news.

"Do I care?" Nigura asked her coldly, moving out of the bedroom.

"If I didn't die with the first one, I most definitely will with this one!"

"So be it, then."

Kagome got angry, and she pushed him. Unfortunately, she was right by the stair way with her back to Nigura.

"So if you don't want the brat," Nigura exclaimed. "The kill it!"

With that said, he kicked Kagome in the back, sending her flying down the stairs. When Kagome hit the floor, a grueling
pain erupted from her womb. Before she lost everything to blackness, her mother instinct told her she miscarried.
*End of flashbacks*
Kagome sat at the edge of the forest. Moving at a small pace so as to distant her from Inu Yasha, Sanbi, and the others.

"The only good that came out of that marriage was my son, Miroku, and my granddaughter, Sanbi." Kagome said to herself out
loud. "I was so happy when Nigura died, I actually cried tears of joy, and laughed at his funeral."

Kagome started to walk into the clearing of a meadow. The long, golden grass moved in the light breeze.

"I hated Inu Yasha for my misery, and I took it with me to the grave. That is why my soul was restless in hell. I
couldn't enter Heaven because my soul was filled with hatred. A hating soul can never enter Heaven. But that made me
hate him even more."

Kagome paused, and took in her surroundings. Suddenly, she realized something that she should have seen before.

"Inu Yasha isn't to blame! I should be hating myself for not leaving Nigura all those years! Like Nigura, I had a scape
goat! I took my misery out on Inu Yasha! He was my scape goat!"

Tears fell down Kagome's face as she realized all this. She had to catch up with the group, and tell Inu Yasha it wasn't
his fault!

"He will be caring that burden on him like he did with Kikyo! Oh, Inu Yasha, I'm so sorry!"

Kagome headed into the direction Inu Yasha and the others headed. The place where the sun rose, and the sun was at her
back. Kagome just now noticed that it was clear, beautiful, midday.

Kagome smiled, now crying tears of joy and a released burden. She looked up to the Heavens, and she never looked more
beautiful.

"Inu Yasha! I'm ready to forgive you!"
To Be Continued....
Ch. 9: "Forgiveness, Then Hatred Again."
He looked down at her. His yellow eyes cold, the a look of disgust, then an evil smirk. He brought his blood stained
hand up to his lips and licked the blood off. Her blood. Kagome was still crippled upon the ground, and she looked up,
her face etched with unknown pain, and sadness.

"I-Inu... Yasha.... you betrayed.... me...?"
AN: Whoo! This took a long time! And please, please, please don't flame me for the sick Buyo scene! Please! I
seriously beg of you! N-e-way, we are (I think) almost through! Yea! Chapter 9 is when I'm going to ask the
"big question"! All Kikyo haters and flamers, get your flames ready!
NickMancer D2 LoD: HEY EVERYBODY!!! MY BOYFRIEND REVIEWED AGAIN!! N-e-way, yea... the *ehm* bus incident.... *blushes
uncontrollably, the points an accusing finger at him.* You would NOT have passed out if you saw a girl right between
the legs and you know it! So act all incident! Gotta go to the next review! ^_^
Animaniac Girl: Well, for one thing, he's already dead. But that would have been hilarious! Make her son get a heart
attack as well! ^_^ N-e-way, the ultimate question is coming up next chappy, so please, everyone, be on the look out
for it! ^_^ *evil smile* Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!
B-chan: The question is coming up next chappy. Please don't hate me for the sick scene (if you read it). *gets down on
her knees and begs.* As I've said before, Inu Yasha feels sorry for Sanbi because she is lonely, and he can sense that.
I mean, in the first chapter, she said to her parents, "I'm going away for a while. Call my school and tell them I died!"
"Ok, dear." I mean, come on! What parent in their right mind would let their daughter go off some where for time on
end..... *stops and she realizes Kagome's mom does the same thing.* Well..... that's beside the point!! -_-() But thank
you for say you like my story!! That makes me SOOOOOOO happy!!! ^_^
notaningen: yes. I agree. He should die! *reads what she just typed.* Well, that fulfilled both our wishes didn't it? ^_^
niasdreams: *gets down on her knees and begs for forgiveness.* I lost track on who was reviewing what. Please forgive me!!
T_T Don't worry, I won't make it long and drawn out. Like I said before, Inu Yasha just feels sorry for her because he
senses (and she is) lonely. It reminds him of Kikyo. But Sanbi is in love with Inu Yasha. Then again, who wouldn't be??? ^_^
QueenPiscies: What Inu Yasha manga number?! I have to borrow number 7 from my boyfriend's little sister.... *sniff, sniff*
and thanks for reviewing!! ^_^
DemonBlade: Well, Jii-chan was dying and needed someone to not only take care of Kagome, but also take over the family
shrine. Also, that was the basic plot of Kagome's past!! ^_^
Trunks Gal: *steps away from her* Um, so if I don't make this ficcy an IY+Kag fic, then you and everyone else will flame
me from existence?? O_O() ...oh boy..... *gulp* But please stick around for chappy 9 and the very last chapter!!
please?? ^_^