Sick~Chapter 3-Goodbye To You

Thanks for the great reviews! :o) FYI: in this chapter, the flashback is written in third person, while last chapter's was written in first person. This is b/c it's Monica thinking, not Monica actually talking. I felt it fit better to have it third person in that situation. Ok, here's chapter 3:

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, except for the orderlies and the doctor. No one too special though.

The next morning, Monica reluctantly awoke to the early morning sounds of the asylum—screaming and pounding. At first, the people who were around Monica had terrified her, but eventually, they became mere nuisances. She got out of her bed and went over to the bathroom, which, of course, was also guarded by an orderly. It was humiliating. You couldn't even go to the bathroom, without being watched. She entered the bathroom, and a female orderly stood in there with her, watching her.

"Do you mind not watching me?" Monica snapped, "How the hell am I gonna do any harm with toilet paper and water?!"

The orderly looked Monica over for a minute, and nodded. She turned around and Monica sighed. Her plea for that amount privacy was almost always answered.

          Once she left the bathroom, she made her way towards the dinning hall for breakfast. It's not that she wanted to eat, but she knew she had to go. And if she didn't go herself, she'd be forced. She felt like she was treated like a three year old. "Of course, three year olds don't get drugged or smacked," Monica thought bitterly, "Well, at least not the those with normal parents." When she got into the dinning hall, she was greeted by one of the inhabitants, "Tanya Touchie", as Monica often to call her in her head.

"Hi there," Tanya said as she began to caress Monica's arm.

Monica moved away from her reach. "Please don't touch me."

Tanya moved closer and began towards her chest.

This surprised Monica, because Tanya usually lost interest in Monica, once she moved away from her reach. Monica wanted to move, or hit Tanya, or something, but Tanya was a huge woman. She could squash Monica like a bug.

"Help!" Monica screeched, as Tanya moved even closer.

Before Tanya could touch her again, two big orderlies came along and grabbed Tanya. Monica let out a sigh of relief. She often wondered if Tanya was really a lesbian or just liked to touch people. She got her answer, when she noticed Tanya touching one of the orderly's chests. He seemed to enjoy it though, unlike Monica.  She looked up, and noted that the other orderly, a tall, broad man, with blond hair, winked at her. He was always checking Monica out, and she hated it. No one would ever know her like that again. Not after Chandler. She still belonged to him, and he belonged to her. Nothing could change that.

*~*~*~*

          That afternoon, Monica was escorted to the doctor's office. She went there every other day, and hated it even more than actually being in the place itself. She sat down across from the doctor, and he faced her. He was in his big, black, leather chair. The chair that showed how much better he was than Monica. Her chair was merely a black folding chair. His was so much more eloquent—a chair suited only for the healthy.

"Now Ms…err…Mrs. Bing, it says here that you were put in here by your brother. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Are you close with your brother?"

"No. Well, we used to be close. But not anymore."

"I see. Is that because he put you in here?"

"No."

"Well, then, why?"

"Because he abandoned me."

"How so?"

Monica didn't answer. She merely stared into space.

"Mrs. Bing?"

There was still no answer.

The doctor sighed and called for her to be taken back. He was never able to get far with this patient. She kept everything to herself.

          After being escorted back, Monica found herself in her room. She didn't even remember going there. Sometimes, she would go into these trances, and when she came out of them, she wouldn't remember anything that happened. It was her body's way of shutting out the pain. However, it only shut out the pain for so long, because she always came back.

          Monica got up and looked out her tiny window. The view was terrible. All that she could see was the grass in the empty courtyard, which was in dire need of mowing. She then focused on the sky. The white, fluffy clouds stood out against the bright blue sky. While she looked at the sky, she let her mind drift back to her younger days…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          "Hey Monica," Kip greeted, as he kissed Monica on the lips.

Monica smiled when they broke the kiss. "Hi Kip. How was your day?"

"Boring. But it just got better, now that I've seen you."

Monica blushed. They had been dating for about three months now, and Monica really liked Kip. She couldn't say that she loved him, or anything, but she liked him, and she liked being around him.

"So, Mon," he began, "I was hoping that you would agree to go to dinner with me and an old friend of mine tonight."

"Ok, sure."

Kip smiled deviously. "Good. Chandler and I will pick you up at eight."

Before she could argue, Kip left the apartment.

"Damn-it!" she yelled.

Phoebe came out of her room, once she heard Monica scream. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…it's just…Kip just tricked me into going to dinner with him and Chandler!"

"So?"

"So? You know how I feel 'bout Chandler!"

"Yeah, but I mean can't you at least be civil? He is your boyfriend's best friend."

"I know…"

"And don't you like Kip?"

"Yeah…"

"Well then, be nice to him for Kip."

"I guess you're right."

"I am right!"

Monica laughed. "Okay, thanks Pheebs."

"No problem."

          That night, Monica dressed in jeans and a sweater, since they were only going to a Chinese restaurant, so she figured she didn't have to dress up.

Kip knocked on her door and entered the apartment five minutes after eight. "Sorry I'm a little late, babe."

"It's okay." Monica searched around a little bit, but didn't see Chandler behind Kip or in the hallway. "Where's Chandler?"

"Oh, he's just grabbing a cab."

"Oh, okay."

"Well, he probably has one now, so we should get going."

"All right."

          Once they got settled at the restaurant, the tension was heavy.

To break it, Kip cleared his throat and said, "So…"

Both Chandler and Monica turned to him.

Kip continued, "I haven't had Chinese in months."

"Yeah?" Chandler asked, grateful for conversation, "I don't think I've ever eaten Chinese food at the restaurant…ever."

He and Kip laughed, but Monica kept silent. Kip looked at Monica for a moment and she lifted her head. "Hmm? Oh ha, ha."

Chandler looked away, offended.

"Mon?" Kip wondered, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Ya know what?" Chandler stated, "I should go."

"No Chandler, wait!"

"No, really, it's okay. You guys should just be the two of you. There's no reason for a third wheel."

With that, Chandler walked out of the Chinese place. Kip turned towards Monica.

"What?" However, Monica knew why he was looking at her. She immediately felt guilty for making Chandler feel so bad. "I'll apologize to him."

"Thank you."

          After dinner, Monica went over to Chandler and Kip's place, and knocked on the door. After a minute, Chandler came to answer it, wearing a knicks t-shirt and sweatpants.

He kept the door only opened a crack. "Yes?"

"Chandler, I just came to apologize for the way I acted."

"Yeah, it's okay," he answered hastily and began to shut the door.

"Wait!" Monica said, as she stuck her foot in between the crack.

"What?"

"I'm really sorry that I've been acting so distant towards you for these last few months."

"Okay."

He moved to close the door again, but Monica's foot was still in the way.

"Chandler…please."

"What? I forgive you. What else do you want? A parade? Cause I might be able to get you one…"

"No you don't forgive me."

"You're right. I don't. I just don't get it! Why do you hate me?"

"It's…I…I don't know."

"Well, that's a good reason," he said sarcastically.

"Can I come in and explain more? Please?"

Chandler opened the door wider and moved away from the door. Monica took that as an invitation and headed inside the apartment.

"See, Chandler, it's just…well…when I met you, back in '87, I kinda had this…uhh…crush on you."

He smiled a little. "Yeah?"

"But then, things happened, and now I'm just really embarrassed to be around you."

"Yeah, well, don't be. I mean accidents happen."

"Right." Monica wasn't about to tell him the entire truth about Thanksgiving and how he had called her fat. And she was especially not going to tell him it was not entirely an accident that she cut off his toe. "I hope you can really forgive me…in time."

"I'll work on it. I mean you are dating my best friend and you're my other friend's sister."

Monica smiled. "Thanks Chandler."

"So, I'll see ya around?"

"Yeah," Monica agreed, "See ya."

She walked out of his apartment and into her own apartment, in a daze.

"So, how'd it go?" Kip asked her.

"Hmm?" she asked, snapping out of her trance.

"Are you guys okay?"

Monica smiled dreamily. "Yeah, I think we are."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          Monica returned to the present, and noticed she was smiling at her memory. Once she remembered where she was, however, she lost her smile. She wished she could go back to the "old days". She was so much happier then. There were so many gruesome things that she hadn't known back then. She only learned them once she entered this wretched place. She sighed and turned away from the window. There was no use dwelling on the past. It's not like she could go back. This was her reality and somehow she had to face it. But could she really say leave to her past behind her? Forget about Chandler? She didn't think she could.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said:
"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to."
I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away

To a place where I am blinded by the light.

-Selected lyrics from the song Goodbye To You, by Michelle Branch

Okay, chapter 3 is finished. Please read and review, thanks! I'm off to study… :-(