Sick~Chapter 4-Grey Street

Ok, this is gonna be a really long a/n: I'm sorry that it seems like it's moving slowly, but it's hard to not make it like that. I mean it's a bunch of flashbacks mixed in with "the present" which takes up a lot of time. Both the flashbacks and the things that happen in the present are leading up to telling you all that you wanna know, I swear! It's just…the elements of suspense and surprise are really what I'm going for here. I don't want to tell you too soon, or then there'll be no story. So, I'm trying to kinda hint to what happened to Chandler, w/o actually telling you. And also, same deal with how Mon ended up there. You'll find out about Chandler before you'll find out about her though. Ok, that's all I'm gonna say about it. I hope that you'll stick with my story, even though it's slow and all. I'm trying to pick up the pace and make the chapters longer and stuff, too. Ok, I know this author's note is getting really long, but I have one more thing. I wanna apologize to SFGrl and Ez, who left me reviews on my stand alone, TOW The Relationship Begins (which is why I can't put this on that story) but I mistakenly posted it twice. I'm sorry, but I'm just that stupid! See, I was rushing cuz I wasn't allowed to be on the computer and I didn't notice I posted it twice and if I got caught I would've been in even more trouble than I was already in. I'm really sorry! I did read your reviews though, and they're very much appreciated! (well I'm hoping that u guyz see this, but u may not, but this is the best I could do…) Anyway, finally, please read and review, thanks!

Disclaimer: Checking…nope don't own the characters or the lyrics to Grey Street by Dave Matthews Band.

A few days later, Monica was sitting in the recreation room, not paying the slightest attention to the television that was on in front of her. What was the point of watching the world of normal people, when she couldn't be part of it? She just sat on the sofa there, watching the people in the room. They were her life, not the actors and news stories.

She watched one woman, a large woman with untamed red hair. The woman resembled her wild, flaming red hair, by her brutality. She held a magazine in her large hands and began to unmercifully rip the pages. Then Monica realized that the magazine belonged to someone. It was a smaller, elderly woman. The woman was crying because the magazine, her one link to society, was being destroyed in front of her own eyes. The redheaded woman looked at the other with angry, mocking eyes. But nobody seemed to care about this elderly woman and her magazine. The woman was now hysterical, screaming on the top of her lungs. Monica noticed that, now that the old woman was screaming, the orderlies were coming. Not only were they finally coming over, but also they were trying to suppress the elderly woman's cries, and not the rage of the redheaded woman.

Monica realized something while she was watching this scene unfold. She was the elderly woman! The magazine that was being destroyed was Monica's life. Her family held part of her life in their hands. And with these brutal, uncaring hands, they were ripping up her life. The other part of her life, that she had unknowingly handed over to Chandler, was gone from her, too. Maybe it wasn't his fault, and maybe he didn't mean to, but he too was destroying her life—page by page. Angered that no one would help the elderly woman, Monica went up to the red-haired woman, while she was looking in the other direction, and ripped the magazine from the big woman's hands. She then handed the magazine over to the elderly woman, who smiled at Monica, gratefully. However, the red-haired woman was not as appreciative. With a maneuver worthy of a sly boxer, the woman punched Monica hard in the face. After that, Monica was thrown into deep, untamed darkness. 

*~*~*~*~*

A couple of hours later, Monica awoke with a pounding headache and groaned. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and found herself within a bright room. She squinted, for the light was too much for her eyes to take. Monica then realized that she was in her room and groaned again. Suddenly, she heard someone cough, and turned to see Julia sitting in a chair next to Monica's bed. Julia faced Monica when she realized that Monica had awoken.

"Hey Mon! How do you feel?"

Monica mumbled in response.

"That bad, huh? Pretty nasty bruise you've got there on your forehead."

"Yeah?" Monica questioned in a shaky voice. She lifted her hand, and gingerly fingered her swelling forehead.

Julia handed Monica a packet of ice. "Here's some ice. I've been putting it on your forehead on and off while you were unconscious."

"Thanks." Monica paused and looked around. "How come you're allowed in here?"

"Well, since they know you spend time with me, they figured they'd stick me in here with you. I think the big, strong orderlies are afraid of you now."

Monica laughed.

"Naw, you're like a hero now."

"Yeah?"

"Ms. White, the woman who's magazine you saved, hasn't stopped talking about you all day."

"How long was I out for?"

"A couple of hours."

"Well, at least that gave me something to do with my day."

"Yeah, but I've been sitting here for hours, awake, so I think it's your turn to entertain me."

"Now? I just woke up!"

Julia looked at Monica with pleading eyes.

"Fine," Monica relented. She couldn't let Julia down. She was beginning to look to Julia as both her confidant and family. Plus, Julia had been sitting with her while she was unconscious, so she owed her something.

"Ok, good!"

"So, yeah, eventually, Chandler and I became friends. Very good friends, in fact. Kip and I dated for a while, but that wasn't meant to be."

"Why not?"

"Well, Kip had been coming home late every night for the past few weeks before we broke up. I was angry before, but this last night was different. He had never shown up for our date. He didn't call, or anything. He just didn't come…"

************************************************

          "Kip!" I demanded, "Where the hell have you been?!"

"Out," he answered nonchalantly. He always answered like that, when I asked where he had been.

"Have you forgotten what tonight is…no wait, what tonight was?!"

Kip looked at me blankly.

"Our date! For our six month anniversary! 

"That was tonight?"

"Yes, that was tonight, Kip! What has gotten into you?!"

"Nothing, nothing at all."

"Well, then why do you keep forgetting about me?"

"I've been busy. I'm so sorry Mon. I swear it won't happen again."

"Okay…" I relented. I didn't believe him one bit, yet I let him stay. To this day, I don't fully understand why I did. I prided myself in being so strong and independent. Yet, I didn't want to lose Kip. I didn't want to be single again.

          Unfortunately, the next day came, and I had to dump him.

"Monica!" Ross ran into my apartment, panting, "I have to talk to you! It's urgent."

"What's up?"

"Well…umm…see…the thing is…"

"Spit it out already!" My brother had a tendency to take too long to speak. It annoyed the hell out of me.

"Well, I was walking in Central Park and…and…I saw Kip…and a..n…other woman. I'm sorry Monica."

"Wh…what?"

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No…no, just leave me alone for a little."

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I kind of already…well…I knew something was up. I just didn't want to confront him."

Ross hugged me and whispered condolences in my ear. He was a great brother. Shame he's not anymore.

          Anyway, after he left my apartment, I buried my head in a sofa cushion and began to cry. I mean maybe I knew it was coming, but it still hurt. I was lied to and I was deceived. It hurt a lot to know that. While I was crying, Chandler entered my apartment and sat down next to me on the sofa. He began to caress my back softly as I sobbed. Finally, when I began to cease crying, I looked up at him. He was staring at me with his warm, blue eyes that were filled with concern, and for a minute I felt safe.

"I'm sorry Mon," he said, breaking the silence that had formed around us. "Kip's a jerk."

"I thought he's your best friend."

Chandler shook his head. "He was my best friend. But now…that he did such a terrible thing to you…sweet, and loving Monica…I can't look at him the same way."

"You don't have to hate him just because of what he did to me."

"But I do. I hate him for ruining what he had between himself and one of the most wonderful people in the world."

I smiled and blushed. "Thanks."

He put his arm around me and kissed my temple. "No problem."

"Does Kip know that I know yet?"

Chandler bit his lower lip. "Yeah."

"Oh. So, how are you going to live with him if you're mad at him?"

Chandler looked away, uneasily. "I'm not."

"You're not? How come?"

"Well, I was going to ask him to move, to make you feel more comfortable…but…"

"What?"

"He kinda beat me to it."

"He's moving out?"

"Yeah."

"Where's he moving?"

Chandler looked down at his hands, which were twisted in his lap.

"It's with her isn't it?"

"They're…getting…married."

Those three words made me feel like a physical blow had been inflicted upon me. However, I tried to cover up my pain and merely answered, "Oh."

"I'm sorry that he did that to you."

"No. I mean if he's marrying her, than he must love her." I paused. "He didn't love me. I didn't love him. It wasn't meant to be."

Chandler nodded. "You're so strong, Mon. You do know that, don't you?"

"I'm not as strong as you think," I replied shamefully.

"No, I think you're much stronger than I think."

Instead of arguing, I just laid my head upon his shoulder and started to cry again. He hugged me tightly and rocked back and forth.

He kissed my head and whispered, "Remember, everything works out for the best."

"It sure doesn't seem that way."

"Yeah, but Mon, maybe it seems unfair now that it happened, but as you said before, 'it wasn't meant to be.' So now that you're not with Kip, you can start searching for Mr. Right."

"You're right, I guess."

"I am right. And remember, Mr. Right may be closer than you think…" Chandler pointed to himself, grinned, and raised his eyebrows.

I laughed and hugged him back. His jokes always made me feel better. Who knew that this joke would become a reality…?"

**********************************************

          "Chandler was your Mr. Right?" Julia wondered.

"Yeah, and he still is."

"What happened to him?"

Monica looked away sadly. "That's a story for another time."

Julia nodded, not wanted to push the topic any further. Instead, she leaned in and gave Monica a hug. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."

Monica smiled and hugged Julia back. "Same goes for you, sweetie."

When they pulled away from the hug, Julia stood up and adjusted Monica's pillow. "Ok, I'm gonna go to dinner before they find me and drag me there."

Monica laughed. "Okay, thanks for being here for me."

"No problem, hero."

Monica smiled. "I don't think so…"

"Just go with it!" Julia advised and then walked out of the room.

Monica chuckled and leaned back on her pillow. She was glad that she had someone like Julia to help her and to talk to. Julia was the first person she felt close to since her former friends and especially Chandler.

"Chandler," she whispered longingly.

Monica then got out of her bed, although she was advised to stay in bed for the rest of the day. She pushed away her night table from its spot in front of the ugly white wall, and picked up a loose tile. From underneath the tile, she took out two pieces of foam, from the foam trays that they used in the cafeteria. She took off the top piece of foam from the bottom and carefully took out a picture. The photo was very worn out, and even its edges were yellowing. However, Monica closed her eyes and hugged the picture over her heart. After a few minutes, she brought the picture in front of her face and stared at it. It was a picture of Chandler; taken the year they began dating. It was her favorite picture of him. Chandler could never pose for pictures without looking awkward. However, Monica had shot this picture of him when he wasn't looking. He was just laughing at a joke that he had been telling their friends. Monica studied Chandler's bright smile and warm, blue eyes. When she took a closer look at it, she could see the creases from his smile and the laugh lines that were beginning to form on his forehead.

"I hope that your laugh lines are becoming deeper," Monica sighed, "Wherever you are, Chandler."

Monica glanced out the window, at the snow that began to fall upon the desolate, gray pavement surrounding the courtyard.

"Is it snowing where you are, Chandler?" she whispered to his absent self. "It was snowing…that day Chandler. Do you remember? I do. The day that was our…last…" Monica couldn't help herself. She began to sob uncontrollably. She yearned to feel Chandler's comforting embrace around her, to tell her that everything would be okay. That everything happens for a reason.

"What's the reason for this?" Monica wondered bitterly. "And I know you're still alive, Chandler. You're out there somewhere; I know it. Everyone tells me that your dead, but I know that your not. I can feel you. And I'm not crazy."

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street

She thinks, 'Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can't get out of this place'

There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

-Selected lyrics to Grey Street, Dave Matthew Band

I hope this chapter helped, but I mean I can't tell since I know what happened to them…lol. Anyway, please review, that would really help me out a lot thanks! ;o)