Larry: Kate, it's almost midnight. Do you think we could wrap this up?! I have a Star Trek Convention tomorrow...

Kate: I can't help it if you people are horrible actors.

Larry: This wouldn't be as bad if we were in the community theater like you said. Remind me again why we're here--in the park?

Kate: If you're gonna complain, you can just leave.

Larry: [Groans.] Anyway...does Pyramus really kill himself?

Kate: How should I know? You're the one with the script.

Larry: [Rolls his eyes.] Don't you think it's a little morbid? We should take it out...

Veruca: He's got a point.

Martha: It's a wedding reception. It should be HAPPY! [Runs around the room, screaming.]

Larry: [Lights up.] What if we wrote a prologue saying that I'm not really Pyramus, that I am in fact, Larry Tudgeman?

Kate: That's a really stupid idea. But whatever. I'll have to check with Mr. Escobar.

Larry: You're practically in charge of this play anyway.

Kate: [Giggles.] I am, aren't I?

Veruca: Don't you think people will be a little afraid of the lion?

Larry: Yes, indeed! We'll write another prologue, saying that it is not a lion, but simply, Brooke Baker.

Brooke: Coolie!

Larry: [Has another thought.] How are we going to get moonlight into the ttheater in that one scene?

Veruca: Well...it's a full moon that night.

Larry: Then, we could open up a window and let some light in.

Kate: [Jokingly.] Or we could have someone walk in with a lantern and say, I'm the Moonshine!

Larry: Great idea! What about the chink in the wall that Pyramus and Thisbe talk through?

Kate: [Again, sarcastically.] Someone else could come in and say I'm a Wall!

Larry: Sounds good to me.

Kate: Ugh, can we get back to rehearsing?

[Enter Lanny, lurking behind trees, watching the actors, but can't be seen by them.]

Larry: Thisbe, the flower of odious savors sweet...

Kate: It's odors.

Larry: ...odors savors sweet. So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisbe dear. But hark! A voice! Stay thou but here awhile, and by and by I will to thee appear. [Exits.]

Lanny: [Chuckles at Larry, and follows him.]

Claire: Is it my line now?

Kate: Uh, duh!

Claire: Ugh, if you weren't in charge here, I would so...

Kate: Claire, just say your lines!

Claire: Fine. Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue, of color like ther red nose on a triumphant brier. Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew, as true as truest horse, that yet would never tire. I'll mee thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.

Kate: It's Ninus' tomb! And you don't say that yet! Larry has to enter after never tire!

Claire: Whatever.

[Enter Lanny, still invisible to the actors, and Larry, strangely enough, with the head of an ass.]

Larry: [Still continuing on as normal.] If I were fair, fair Thisbe, I were only thine.

Kate/Claire/Veruca/Martha/Brooke: [Scream loudly and shrilly, then quickly run amuck.]

Lanny: [Cracking up. Follows the girls.]

Larry: Hey! That's really uncool.

[Enter, again, Veruca.]

Veruca: Larry, you've...you've...what is that on your head?!

Larry: What, what? What's on my head?

[Veruca runs away screaming again.]

[Enter Kate.]

Kate: Ew, Larry, you've changed! You look...uglier than usual! [Runs away.]

Larry: Oh, I see what this all about. They're trying to get a rise out of me, to make an ass out of me. Like I'm going to fall for that stupid trick. I don't know about them, but I will continue rehearsing! [Sings off-key.] The ouzel cock, so black of hue, with orange-tawny bill. The throstle with his note so true, the wren with little quill.

Melina: [Nearby, waking up.] What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

Larry: [Continues to sing terribly.] The finch, the sparrow, and the lark, the plainsong cuckoo gray. Whose note full many a man doth mark, and dares not answer . Well that's silly.

Melina: [Approaches Larry.] Please, sing again. Your voice is lovely, and you are beautiful. I love you, so yes, please sing again.

Larry: That's crazy talk.

Melina: But you are so wise!

Larry: [Getting caught up in the flattery.] Well, I know I am a stunning young lad... [Snaps back to reality.] I really should be going home now...

Melina: Please, don't leave me. My servants shall please you, if you stay here. Laura! Brittany! Mackenzie! Megan!

[Enter Laura, Brittany, Mackenzie, and Megan.]

Laura: I'm ready!

Brittany: Me too!

Mackenzie: Me three!

Megan: Me four!

Melina: You see this boy right here? [Motions to Larry.] Take good care of him. Find him a bed, feed him. Do whatever he asks. Because he is the love of my life.

------------------------

[A/N: How psychotic can this story get? Well, you'll see. This is only the end of Act 3, Scene 1. There are 5 Acts in all. This story will probably be the first one to end out of all the stories I'm writing.

I'm sorry for being really out of the loop lately, not updating and not coming onto FF.net at all. A couple nights ago I was sick. And before that I was busy. And I know I said I was going to update next but this story is so much easier to update, LoL. Next to be updated will probably be The Great Hillridge Junior High Reunion, then , then...yeah. There you go.

So is this story a little too psychotic for your liking? Just let me know, whatever you think about it. Yes, please review. Thanks.]