Sick~Chapter 11

Ok, I have a confession to make. This past week, I was so close to deleting this story off of ff.net. I hated this story and was so angry with myself for ever writing it! I don't know why I'm admitting this, but I feel that you all should know. A very slight part of this story has just become a reality for me, and it is incredibly hard to deal with. However, I'm glad I decided not to delete this story. In fact, this last chapter has been a bit therapeutic for me. It has definitely helped me accept what happened, and maybe forgive a bit, too. I'm sure this makes no sense to most of you, but I just had to say it. On a lighter note, this is the last chapter of this story…finally! It's kinda sappy, so you've been warned. Ok, please read and review, one final time! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own stuff…just not these characters…

"Chandler's still alive," Rachel revealed, but then hastily covered her mouth.

Ross and Dr. Stein turned towards Rachel, wide eyed.

"Rach," Ross whispered harshly.

Rachel shrugged and looked at Ross guiltily. "I had to tell her!"

"Mrs. Bing?" Dr. Stein tried quietly, "Monica?"

However, Monica didn't answer. She stared at the wall in front of her, in shock. Her brain began to comprehend Rachel's words slowly. "He's alive?" she wondered over and over again in her head. She must be dreaming. Finally, after a few minutes of staring wordlessly, Monica moved her mouth to speak.

She looked over at her brother with pleading eyes. "He…he's alive?"

 "Mon," Ross answered, "Let's just—"

"Is he?!" Monica demanded.

Ross glanced at Dr. Stein who nodded for him to answer. "Yes."

"You mean he's not dead?"

"No, he's not. We thought he was, but he's not."

"So, I could—I could see him again?"

"Technically yes," the doctor answered, "But maybe—"

"I want to see him."

"Of course you do, but there's so much we still need to work on."

"I need to see him."

"Maybe in a few months we cou—"

"This is what I need!" Monica wrung her hands together, "Please!"

Dr. Stein raised her glasses and rubbed her nose nervously. "I shouldn't be doing this…"

Monica stared at the doctor incredulously. "I get to see him?"

"Yes."

Monica took a deep breath, and allowed the realization to sink in. If this wasn't reality, then she sure loved the dream.

"Thank you," Monica breathed.

"First, we need to explain some things to you," Ross informed her.

"Yeah?"

"Well Chandler…what happened to him."

"Okay?"

"He was…umm…abducted by some criminals. They made him do a lot of their dirty work. Ya know, burying bodies, driving their cars from crime scenes, that kind of stuff."

Tears formed in Monica's eyes. "Is Chandler okay?"

"He…he…he's a bit shaken."

Monica nodded.

"He also looks a little different. I just wanted to warn you before you saw him."

"How so?"

"Well, he's pale, and very, very thin. He also has a lot of scars and remnants of bruises all over his body. Other than that, he looks like…well…" Ross smiled, "Like Chandler." 

Monica bit her lip to keep the tears from falling. The entire conversation felt like a dream to her. She had dreamt of something like this happening ever since Chandler left her.

"You're very lucky, Monica," Dr. Stein stated, "This is quite the abnormal situation."

Monica smiled genuinely for the first time since her friend Julia had been transferred. "I know."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          A few nights later, Monica tossed and turned in her uncomfortable cot. It was really going to happen—the next morning she was going to see Chandler again. Monica began pinching herself repeatedly, in order to make sure that she was, in deed, awake. During the days after Monica found out about Chandler, she did not allow herself to think of it. Fear that life was playing yet another cruel joke on her kept Monica from completely believing. Instead, she went about her days as easily as possible. However, now that it was only a few hours away, Monica found herself feeling incredibly nervous. What if Chandler didn't want to be with her anymore, after he found out what happened to her? She knew that Chandler wasn't that shallow, but still, she couldn't help but wonder.

          Finally, she began to drift off. Suddenly, she was jolted out of her light slumber by a familiar voice. She strained her ears to figure out how she knew it. After a moment, she figured out who it was. Monica paled and her throat went dry. It was the orderly that she had slept with; but Chandler was alive! She had cheated on him! How could she have done that? After that, he surely wouldn't want her anymore. Silently, Monica turned to cry in her pillow, her tears at last putting her to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          The morning came all too quickly for Monica. Instead of anticipating her meeting with Chandler, she began to dread it. The guilt washed over her like a tidal wave as she waited for Chandler to arrive. She waited because, even if Chandler would break up with her, she needed to see him one last time. Monica took a shaky breath as Dr. Stein entered her office and offered Monica a smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Nervous."

The doctor nodded. "That's completely understandable. In fact, if I were you, I'd probably be biting my nails off."

Monica smiled slightly and then turned her attention to the door, knowing that the next time it opened, her life would change, yet again.

          After what felt like an eternity, there was a knock on the door. Dr. Stein rose to open it, allowing Ross and Rachel to come in.

"Is he…?" Monica wondered.

"He's here," Ross answered.

Rachel went over to Monica and held her hand. Monica gave her an appreciative look when she did so. Somehow, Rachel's touch gave her more confidence than she had before. It made her remember that Rachel had forgiven her for what she did. And if Rachel could accept her, then surely Chandler could.

Dr. Stein turned to Monica somberly. "Now, you can back out. No one would be angry. You can always see him another time."

Monica shook her head firmly. "I want to see him now."

"You're sure?"

Monica felt Rachel squeeze her shaky hand and she smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Dr. Stein nodded to Ross, and he went to get Chandler.

"You okay, sweetie?" Rachel asked Monica.

"Yeah, just nervous."

"Don't be. Chandler has missed you so much. He would call here everyday to get a report on you."

Monica was touched. "Really?"

"Yes. And when he found at that we saw you, he asked us a billion questions."

Monica smiled, and felt slightly less nervous. "Thanks."

Rachel smiled back at her and squeezed her hand again. Then, the doorknob turned, and Monica was sure that her heart stopped beating. Ross walked into the office, and then a second after him, Chandler entered timidly. Immediately after, their eyes locked. Chandler was at the door, while Monica was sitting on the couch, but neither moved. Both were afraid that when they moved, they would lose each other again. After a few minutes, Monica noticed Chandler lick his lips nervously. Slowly, she rose from her spot, never breaking their intense gaze. He took a few steps towards her, and she did the same towards him. Finally, they met in the middle, eyes still locked.

          There were no thoughts in Monica's head. She had no control over her movements as she reached her hand up nervously to brush his cheek softly, feeling his stubble and scars. Chandler reached his hand out and ran his fingers through her hair. As Monica moved her fingers lightly across his face, she realized that it truly was not a dream.

"Chandler?" she whispered hoarsely.

He nodded and filled the slight gap that was in between them, allowing their bodies to touch.

"Chandler!" she yelled as she threw her arms around his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "Monica."

They both pulled back and locked eyes, once again. Then slowly, they leaned in and kissed. At first, it was a light peck, almost as if one between good friends. Chandler leaned in again, and Monica deepened the kiss. Soon, they were kissing with all of the pent up passion and yearning that they had held in their hearts for so long. She savored the feel of his lips against hers. She couldn't believe that she had survived so long without him. Tears streamed down Monica's face, but she didn't care. She was living the reality that had been her dream for so long. That was all that mattered to her.

          Breathlessly, Chandler broke the kiss and smiled at Monica.

"You're so beautiful."

She blushed and smiled back. "I can't believe you're here."

"I can't believe I'm here either. I've missed you so—"

"I know. Me too."

"Everyday I dreamed of seeing you again, of hearing your voice again, of looking into those eyes…"

Monica felt herself shiver at his heart-felt words.

"Well, I think you can figure out what losing you has done to me," Monica replied by gesturing to their surroundings.

"Oh Mon," he hugged her tightly, "I'm so sorry! If I could've done something, I would've!"

"It wasn't your fault, Chandler."

"I know, but I should've…I mean they just grabbed me and they had guns and—"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Chandler. I'm so sorry that you had to go through what you went through."

Chandler smiled. "I love you so much."

Monica's face fell and heart sped up when she heard those words.

Chandler looked at her nervously. "What? You…you don't lo—"

"No! It's not that! God, no Chandler! I love you so much it hurts!"

"Well then, what's wrong?"

"When I tell you, I don't think that you'll love me anymore."

"Nothing you say can make me stop loving you."

Monica shrugged. She then glanced at the others in the room, finally remembering that they were all there, too.

"Could we have some time…alone?"

Rachel and Ross stood up and left. However, Dr. Stein looked at Monica sadly and shook her head. "I can't leave you."

Monica blushed in humiliation, remembering exactly where she was and how little power she had over her own life. Monica nodded and turned back towards Chandler. She took his hand and looked into his eyes.

"I…I…uhh…well…I."

Monica knew that she had to say it, but somehow she couldn't get the words out.

"What is it?" Chandler asked anxiously.

"It's just…I…slept with another man."

She looked away right after she said that, afraid to see the look of betrayal on Chandler's face. However, she felt Chandler squeeze her hand.

"Mon, look at me."

She looked up and was surprised to see nothing but love in his eyes.

"It's okay," Chandler stated softly, "You thought I was dead."

"No, but a part of me always knew that you weren't dead."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean I never really believed that you were dead, and that's what hurt me so much."

Chandler looked at Monica, baffled. "It hurt you that I wasn't dead?"

"No," she chuckled slightly, "It just hurt that I knew you were alive, yet I couldn't be with you. And now—"

Chandler cut her off. "Well, I'm not going to let something like that get in the way of us. I can't lose you again, Monica."

"I can't lose you, either!" she cried as she hugged him tightly.

He cradled her in his arms and kissed the time of her head. Suddenly, she looked up at him. There was one last reason that he may not forgive her, and she had to tell him. If he was going to walk out on her, she wanted him to do it now, before she became even more attached to him again.

"I did it because I was trying to get over you."

Chandler met her glance. "Did you?"

"No. It only made me realize how much more I needed you."

"Well, that's all we need."

Monica smiled. "I love you so much."

Chandler smiled broadly. "I've missed hearing you say those words."

"I've missed saying them. And I've missed hearing you say them, too."

"So…are we still engaged?"

Monica looked down at her bare finger and shrugged. "Well, the ring was taken from me 'cause, ya know, it could be used as a weapon."

Chandler nodded. "Even without the ring, are you still my fiancée?"

"I'd love it if I could be. Do you want that?"

"More than anything in the world."

"Good. Just…we can't…uhh…get married right aw—"

"I don't care. As long as we're together again."

"Me too."

Chandler leaned in and kissed her again. Monica held on to Chandler with all of her might; she never wanted anyone to take Chandler away from her again. She felt Chandler tighten his grip on her as well, and broke the kiss.

"Are you afraid that this isn't real?"

 "Terrified."

"Good. Then I'm not alone."

He hugged Monica. "You'll never be alone when I'm with you."

Monica grinned at Chandler's words. She moved to look up at him, but her glance fell on Dr. Stein, sitting behind her desk, instead.  

The doctor noticed Monica looking at her and rose from her chair. She smiled, and whispered, "This will just be between us," as she slipped out the door.   

Monica felt another rush of happiness when Dr. Stein did that. It gave her the feeling that, even just for a little while, she had gained back control over her life. For once, someone wasn't watching over her like a hawk over its prey. She felt liberated. Beaming, Monica looked up at her fiancé, who was, in turn, smiling down at her.

"You are so strong. I don't know how you've been so strong throughout this."

Monica looked at Chandler incredulously. "Strong? You're the strong one! Look where I am!"

"Mon, it doesn't matter where you are to me. I think that you're strong for getting through this. I mean I know how much you cherish your freedom. Everyday, after I found out that you were here, I hoped with all of my heart that it wasn't killing your spirit."

"What?"

"Mon, I think that…you're so strong for just being here. They've taken away all that you desire in life, yet you're not broken."

Monica merely stared at Chandler, his kind words touching her more deeply than anything else ever had.

"I thought I was so weak for letting it all take over my life," Monica admitted shyly.

"Well, you're only human, Mon."

"I admire you, Chandler."

"What? Why?"

"You went through so much and yet, you still have the ability to make me feel so much better than anyone else can."

He hugged her and buried his head in her neck. "I'm glad you feel that way."

Monica rested her nose on Chandler's hair and took in the scent of his shampoo and hair gel. She sighed with contentment as Chandler began kissing her neck softly. She realized that, even though it would be rough, she could get through anything now that Chandler was back. He was her rock and she was his. Together, they would be able to escape their cruel past and create a beautiful, new future.

Ok, that's a wrap! I hope that you all enjoyed this story and it wasn't just crap. I tried my hardest to find a credible way to bring back Chandler, but man was it hard. So sorry if it doesn't seem real, but I mean in reality, I doubt a situation like this would have a happy ending. I just couldn't torture Monica and Chandler like that! Plus, I couldn't torture all you people who wanted a happy ending, either.:) So, sorry if u wanted a sad ending, but don't read my fics, ever, if u want a sad ending. Anyways anyshmays, I really hope this chapter wasn't just crap and thanks for sticking by me through this! *hugs readers* Ok, please, please leave me one last review! *kisses reviews* (Hehe I know that some of u are gonna enjoy that ;). Not naming any names *wink* It's gonna cost u if u want some more…hehe…)