Harry Potter and the Animal Regurgitation Parade.

Chapter one, Hedwigs fate.

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Harry Potter was writing an important letter that would decide the rest of the life. He was writing to Minerva McGonacgall, about their current love affair.

This is what the letter said.

- Minny,

Hello fair lady. I was sitting there polishing my wand and I was thinking about you. I was thinking about our… baby. How is little Eloise by the way? I hope she's doing okay. I just wanted to check up on you. I know you don't want anyone to know about our love affair and us not just being "friends." I know it's hard, it's hard for me too. I'll send this letter with Hedwig as soon as possible. Good-bye.

All my love forever,

Harry –

Harry tried to tie this important letter to Hedwig and said, "Go on Hedwig, send this to Min- I mean Professor McGonacgall, as soon as possible, and hurry it up a bit it's important, you've been slacking off lately, My letter to Sirius didn't get to him until three weeks after I sent it" Hedwig pulled her leg away and talked for the first time in her life and said to Harry, this is what she said, she said "Harry, I am sick of being treated like some kind of animal, I don't like the way you throw mean words at me and act like it goes in one ear and out the other, I may be nocturnal but, I am an intelligent human" Harry looked peculiarly at Hedwig and said "Oh Hedwig stop being such a baby, WAIT are you…talking?" "YES, AND I REFUSE TO SEND ANY MORE LETTERS AND BE SOME KIND OF, OF MAIL CARRIER! Is that what you think I am? WELL I'M NOT! I have needs Harry." And with that Harry gulped up Hedwig in one large bite and said "Well looks like I'll have to send Scabbers with this letter." He looked away and thought to himself, 'Did I just have a conversation with a bird?'

Hermione was walking out to the great hall when she heard a loud shriek. She thought, 'that couldn't be Harry eating his bird could it?' she ruled that out and just thought he had Ginny up there for a wild ride, or maybe…Ron, any one of the Weasleys really. Just then, VOLDEMORT pops in and says "Hermione, since you're a pureblood, and I'm a little boy will you go to the Yule Ball with me this year?" Hermione looked disgusted "YOU PERVERT, you must be at least 78 years, 8 months, 4 weeks, 19 days, 6 hours, 5.5 minutes, and 10.0001 seconds old!" blurted out Hermione between eating parts of Scabbers. "Correction Hermione, I am 78 years, 8 months, 4 weeks, 19 days, 6 hours, 5.5 minutes, and 10.0002 seconds old, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I guess you don't know it all, NA NA NA NA NA, I don't want to go out with no more… sorry" Hermione burst into tears and ran down the hall, looked at Draco Malfoy, said "Watch it Mudblood, I'll eat you if you're not careful" Draco looked scared and began to cry. He picked up Goyle, since Goyle was only 78 pounds, and ate him. He said "MMM tastes like chicken" Goyle then popped out of Dracos stomach and said "your stomach was warm, I liked it in there PUT ME BACK, I felt like a incubated baby" Draco then turned into a worm and began to flop around, Ron came by and said "OOOH spaghetti!" picked up Draco/Worm and slurped him up.

THE END. For now WINK WINK!

Thanks!

A/n. REVIEW AND TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Oh yea! ITS GONNA GET GOODER! *~*Love, Tee & Lee*~*

Ps. We own Harry Potter, and everything about it, heck we even own JK Rowling! JJJKKKK we don't own them, Tee own Dracos wand if you know what I mean..Hehehe. Lee owns Ron's broomstick, teeheehee.

The next chapter will be posted in ONE HOUR. That would be, 9:42 central standard time, we are in the states * sigh *