Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize from any Harry Potter book. If you don't recognize it: Hey it's mine!
Nothing new and exciting to re-read here. (not saying I did nothing… just nothing exciting.)
I am so sorry that I didn't update yesterday!
Three reasons!:
1. Work until 2 (like every week day!)
2. Watched Count of Monte Cristo with friend. Major hotness their people. Major.
3. Two words: Hockey Game. Every Canadian's duty to go to one!! Or in my case… many of them. Many. We won! (Ok… so that's more than two words…)
On with the story!!
* * *
The kiss was innocent, soft, and gentle. If you were to ask both of them a few years later, they'd say it was completely opposite to how they felt inside. Inside they were feeling passion, need, and hormones going wild. After they broke it, they looked at each other for about a minute, neither uttering a word. James was the first to say something.
"That was –"
"Wrong." Lily finished before she could stop herself. She couldn't help but notice the excitement, happiness and hopefulness flicker out of James' eyes as his brain processed what she had just said. Feeling the need to better explain herself, she went on, "What I mean is," she took a breath, "we were both caught up in the moment, and the adrenaline, and the closeness, and… and, um… yea. I have to go to bed, James. See you tomorrow… bright and early!" She said with fake chipperness. She speed walked right past him and up to her dorm. She shut the door behind her, and slid down it, onto the floor. "What was that…?" Her eyes filled up with tears as she thought about everything she felt for James, and how it couldn't be. Would she go out with him? Would he, her? Did she want to kiss him again? Was it really wrong? Could she go out with him? "Yes, probably, yes, no, no." She said aloud. Her tears left the safety of her eyes, as she climbed into bed and went into a non-peaceful slumber.
~ * ~
As Lily walked past James, he wanted to grab her arm, and just look into her eyes. He was too stunned to even move. He was screaming in his head while she explained herself. He wanted to better examine her eyes – they told so much. In that short time he gazed at her, he saw panic, fear, relief, pain and denial of the words she had spoken. He could also tell that the reasons she gave him were more so told to her self. Once he snapped out of it, 4 minutes and 24 seconds later, he walked upstairs to his dorm, and lay down upon his bed. He slept uneasily, thinking that the chance he had with Lily was gone, and it would be very slim to get another chance with her.
~ * ~
Sirius awoke the next morning bright and early. He excitedly shot out of bed and got dressed. He went over to Remus' bed, thrust the curtains open, grabbed his arm, and with all his morning strength, dragged him right off his bed and onto the cold floor.
"Whathe – oof! You stupid, ugly… foolish piece of…" Remus mumbled as he collected himself into a sitting position. "Why am I always the first?"
Sirius ignored him and went over to Peter's bed. He drew the curtains, grabbed one of his legs, and did the same as he did Remus. Peter, at least, didn't complain anymore. This was now a routine thing they expect after they do a prank that will take affect in the morning. Of course they wished for Sirius to just sleep in one morning… but he seemed to have some sort of inner alarm that told him it was a 'special' morning. Peter just stood up, and shuffled into the bathroom.
Sirius then made his was to James' bed, then jumped back in shock.
James was sitting up; curtains back, watching the waking ritual. Being one of the people that get dragged out of bed in the morning, well, sucks for lack of a better word. Actually… sucks pretty much sums it up. But watching it, he saw why Sirius relished in it so much. He smiled at everything that happened, and at the look on Sirius' face.
This was the first time in six years Sirius wouldn't be able to finish his 'waking of the dead' routine. "I need closure, James!" Sirius whined, "You can't leave me hanging – I'll feel empty. For the rest of my life…"
James sighed, lied down, covered himself in blankets, and pretended to sleep. Sirius jumped for joy, and continued on. He slowly closed the curtains ("so as not to wake James" he told Remus), and ripped them open again with flourish. He tore the blankets off of James, grabbed him around the waist, and dragged him out of his bed.
James let himself go limp, and let his head hang back. "No Sirius. You – ass…" He said flatly, trying to remember what he would have said to him if her were just waking up. "Please. Oh the horror…" In fact, he had no idea what he may have ever said to Sirius before 8 am on a Sunday. "Ow!" He said as his head hit the floor.
"Well, next time – wake up early!" He 'stomped' off to the now available bathroom in a 'huff', mumbling about not being their 'nanny' and not being paid extra.
The others got changed and ready. It was Sunday morning, and people wouldn't be down for breakfast for another hour or so, but they wanted to see everyone get there.
When they got to the Common Room, Lily was sitting on the couch, staring mindlessly into the fireplace, a reflective look upon her face.
"Lily?" Sirius called, she turned. "Up early today, aren't we?"
"Hm." Was all she… um – said? Ok, it's the 'response' they heard.
"Want to come down to breakfast with us – you won't regret it." James said, remembering the role he was supposed to be playing. But he seriously lacked enthusiasm, and everyone noted that.
"You ok, James?" Peter asked.
"Just fine, Pete." He responded, his eyes never leaving Lily.
"Well then." Sirius said, "Any more tension and I'll pop. Remus, help me cut through it?"
"Uh… sure Sirius." Remus said uncertainly.
"So, let's head down then. Coming Lily?" Sirius asked encouragingly, while pretending to swipe the tension down before him, as he made his way to the Portrait hole. Imagine those jungle movies, where they're slashing with their scythes at the brush and vines before them. That was Sirius.
"Yea, I can't wait to see what you've done." She was just as enthusiastic as James.
They silently walked to the Great Hall. Lily seemed transfixed by the broom closet as she walked by it. James watched Lily as she stared at it, seeming to be back in the moment when both of them crawled through it. No one was excited until they entered through the doors of the Great Hall.
"Excellent! No Slytherins are here yet!" Remus said, as they began to sit. He sat down first, and said nothing. Sirius sat beside him. "Sirius, I hate it when you wake me up like that." Everyone else stood, looking at Remus oddly. It pretty much came out of nowhere.
"Uh… sorry, Rem… bud." Was all Sirius could say. Peter sat down across from him. "Peter, work out some."
"Cut your hair, Shaggy." Remus added. Then they both twitched their heads, looking around with their eyes, wondering why they told him that…
Peter looked a mixture of shock and appall. "Wha – I – uh… sorry? What do you want me to say?"
Sirius and Remus looked at each other quizzically. Lily and James looked at each other; they couldn't help but smile. James sat down.
"James, there's obviously something wrong with you." Sirius told him, flat out.
" Yea – perk up some. You're bringing us down with you." Remus agreed.
"You're not as popular as you seem to think." Peter said, than clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Sorry you guys feel that way." He tried to suppress his smile.
Lily just stood there, not knowing whether to sit down or not. 'Now would be better, so that less people tell me something…' She braced herself, and sat.
"You have pretty eyes, Lily. I love them." Remus said.
"A nice ass, too." Sirius added.
"Something's obviously wrong with you also…" Peter observed.
It was James' turn. He knew he was going to say the first thing that came to mind when he thought of Lily. Before their kiss, he thought he'd just tell her he liked her. That wouldn't have been so bad – she'd finally know, and maybe something good would have come from it. But now, he was worried. He couldn't stop thinking of it all morning. "Lily, that kiss wasn't wrong." He blurted out. He thought that was it, but there was obviously more on his mind. He didn't even notice the other guys staring at him, open-mouthed. "I know it felt every bit right, and that you know it, too. Lily, I've liked you for almost two years and it's still going strong. I love everything about you: Your eyes, hair, skin, scent, laugh, smile that small dimple on you right cheek," Lily self-consciously put her hand up to her cheek, "and what I love most about you is how you make me feel that there are truly good people in the world. You make me feel like I'm the luckiest guy alive just to know your name." He paused. He couldn't believe he was spilling his heart out to her. He then noticed that she had started to cry, softly, and also noticed her smiling lightly. "I love you Lily Evans. I don't know how I know it, but it feels so right. I know that I'm only 16, but it feels so very right. So when you told me that the kiss was wrong – I didn't know what to feel." He stopped. More people had come in, and were staring at Lily and James with dumbfounded looks. The other three Marauders' mouths were dry from being open for that speech. "Well," James continued, "Now that that's out of my system…" He stood up, grabbed some toast, and left the Great Hall, not knowing where his legs were carrying him.
He walked around the labyrinth of corridors, reflecting on everything he had told Lily. 'Now,' he thought, 'that could be a good thing or bad. She could like what I said or she could avoid me forever and a day.' He sighed. He was suddenly snapped out of his daze by a voice of someone he didn't need to see right now, or at any time for that matter.
"Severus, are you going to do it tonight?" Came Lucius Malfoys' voice. "Why is that damned smell everywhere in the school?"
'Alright… make that two people I don't need to see right now…'
"Possibly. If she's not with that damned Potter again. They've not left each other for the entire week back. Did you notice that?" Came Severus' reply. James could hear his jealousy (and lavished in it), and could almost hear his sneer.
They were getting nearer, and James wanted to hear where this conversation was going, He dashed behind a statue of an ancient Wizard ready to strike with his sword in hand.
"Actually no. I don't watch mudbloods all day, so I wouldn't notice. And I also don't watch, bigheaded, stupid, Quidditch Captain, Prefect, pompous boys like James Potter all day, either. You should just wait until one of her classes that you have with her, that her friends don't. Or at least less of the losers. Just make sure Potter's not in it."
"Yes, I have Advanced Potions with her. She only has one or two friends with her in that one. And yes, that smell is getting annoying…" Severus said. James saw them walk by and really had to resist the urge not to burst out laughing in their faces. They had peanut butter, toothpicks, and olives splattered on their clothes, and were looking spiffy. Quite a stench, too.
"Why not Advanced Charms? I'm in it, and work with Narcissa, so you can join the class, and work with her. None of her friends are in there. I was quite please when I noticed that I could say anything to her, and no one could really comment."
'Lily? How does everybody know her schedule after the first week back?' James thought, getting worried at what they were plotting. He didn't have a class when Lily had Advance Charms. Maybe he could change that… But after what he told her today, he wasn't sure whether it was a good idea.
"Hm – I'm not very good at it. I'll drop Divination then, and take Advanced Charms. Sounds like a plan. And that happens to be Monday's class. Tomorrow." Severus said, seemingly making up his mind. James noticed that Lucius was shaking his head as they discussed Lily. He was following them now, about 20 feet back. There was no one else in the hallways at this time, so he could make out what they were saying, easily.
"I still don't like your choices, Severus. A mudblood? How could you dishonour your house like that? You know you'll never be treated with the same respect if you date a mudblood. And a Gryffindor one at that." Lucius clearly hissed out mudblood, and Gryffindor – obviously two of his favourite things…
James had heard enough. He walked right up behind the two, and muttered a few choice words with his wand pointed at them. He turned right at the intersecting corridors when the two Slytherins kept going straight. He ran back to the Great Hall, forgetting about his little speech for the moment, and just wanted to see them walk in for breakfast… Missing this would surely ruin his week. He ran as fast as he could in order to beat them there. He charged through the doors, and to his friends. The other girls were there, and everybody seemed to be confused about everything. Obviously, Lily and his prank worked marvelously. He looked at all the people laughing at each other, yelling, or questioning friends. He now wished that he was there for everyone's arrival, and what they had to say.
He sat next to Sirius, who was avoiding Ara's face, and avoided Lily's eyes for the moment, and watched the doors expectantly. Everyone said something to him, mostly about his disappearance, or re-appearance.
"Look at the Slytherins! They're so confused as to why people are laughing at them! Remus you did a good job with the Concealer Charms!" Sirius said, obviously filled with mirth. A quick 'Thank you' was heard from Remus, as he anxiously awaited them to figure out what was wrong. "Oh! They just figured out why! Ha! They're going red!! James! Look at that one! He's not wearing any shoes! Guess he figured they had mold in'em or something! That Flint never saw it coming!"
"Shut up Sirius, and watch the doors." James said. Sirius was surprised, but watched anyways. Everyone who heard James did also. And even people who didn't hear him saw people start to turn their heads, so they did as well. Soon everybody was waiting impatiently for something to happen. The Slytherins couldn't care less. They were trying to help the 6th year boys get all that crap out of their hair.
Snape and Malfoy entered the Hall strutting, with an air about them that wanted you to think that they owned the place. People started to point, then laugh, then hysterically laugh as Snape and Malfoy went over to the Slytherin table, and learned of what was on them. Malfoy couldn't sit down. ("Toothpicks on his ass!" Remus) One of the Slytherin's pointed out what note was hovering above the two boys' heads, flashing red and gold:
We want to be Muggle-born Gryffindors.
Snape tried to look dignified, and accept it like a man, whereas Malfoy was getting hotter by the second.
"Welcome to the club!" A few Gryffindor Muggle-borns shouted, including Lily.
This was the breaking point for both boys. They ran out of the Great Hall faster than you could say serpent, both swearing like bohemian maniacs.
~ * ~
That afternoon, James went to McGonagall to get his timetable 'slightly altered' – as he told his friends. She saw no reason, of course, to deny him the extra course. She granted him Advanced Charms, and advised him that Quidditch practices would start in a week or so.
The Gryffindor Quidditch team needed no new players this year. This gave them a slight advantage. They had gotten two new players last year, and were glad to get everybody back this year. On the team was:
James Potter: He is the Captain, Seeker, in 6th year.
Sirius Black: He is a Beater, in 6th year.
Mel Gorman: She is the other Beater, 6th year.
Jen Black: She is a Chaser, 6th year
Rick Malter: He is a Chaser, 5th year, with no hair, and has chocolaty brown skin and rare amber eyes.
JJ Schmitt: He is the third Chaser, 3rd year, and has shaggy chestnut brown hair, and gray eyes.
Thomas Wood: He is their star Keeper, in 7th year, with medium brown hair, and hazel eyes.
They were unbeatable. They seemed to guess each other's motives, and knew what to do when things went wrong. Remus did all the commentating, and sometimes Peter joined him for Slytherin vs. Gryffindor games. It was more fun that way – let's just leave it at that.
The next week went by nicely. James had joined Lily in Advanced Charms, and she asked no questions. They hadn't really talked about James' award winning speech since he had said it, and were just trying to act normal. Snape had walked in class looking like King of the World, and upon seeing James there, deep in conversation with Lily, he looked absolutely murderous. They had now agreed to talk after their next Prefect meeting, Friday night. They had to sort some things out.
Friday evening came and the meeting was pretty uneventful. Suggestions, reports, and House complaints were plentiful, and well, boring. Unless you count Slytherin's Juniper Buschelle making some obscene comments on Hufflepuff's Amos Diggory's choice of hair cut, or Ravenclaw's Ava Marie Young complaining about their lack of reading material in their house, and their need for separate House Libraries. Lily and James left the meeting silently, and walked together for a few minutes before saying anything.
"So, should we go into a classroom or something?" Lily suggested, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"Uh, yea. Sure – let's do that. Right here, ok?" James asked, gesturing to the empty Charms classroom.
"Yea. Good, let's go." She pushed open the door, and walked in with James on her heels. They sat there once again in you guessed it, silence.
Lily decided to start it. "James," He looked up, "What you said earlier in the week…"
"I'm sorry if I put you in a spot… Really – I didn't mean for everyone to hear that when I would have preferred to tell you alone. I would have done it differently – that's for sure… If what I said got you angry or – " He rambled quickly, interrupting Lily every time she tried to speak. "Mad… those are the same things… but still. I'm sorry, I can't help the way I feel…if I messed up our friendship…"
"It was really sweet." She finished quietly.
"Or I… what?" James asked, confused as hell.
"It was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I really liked it, and knew it had to be true because of our…uh, spell, prank thing. Thank you." Her eyes were glistening.
James moved towards Lily, and pulled her into a hug. "So," he started, pulling away from her, "what do you feel for me? I know it's a bit forward – but I have to know… Do you think we could try it?" He kept his hands on her arms while he spoke. Lily kept her hands on his forearms.
"James, there's nothing I would love more than to be your girlfriend… but," James' once happier-than-life-itself look dropped instantly, "I can't have a boyfriend right now… this is why I wanted to talk to you. I don't want to leave you in the dark about anything. It is sort of complicated…" James let her go slowly, and sat on the desk across from the one she was sitting on. "My father doesn't really like the idea of the Marauders, and all your pranks. If he learned that I was going out with one…"
James cut her off, a bit more harshly than he would have liked: "So it's because of your father?" He felt an icy hand grip his heart and slowly start to rip it piece by piece.
"No, not completely. I told you it would be complicated." She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. "I've been receiving these letters… other than yours…" She opened her eyes.
"What kind of letters?" James asked slowly. (A/N: Always with the letters, eh?)
"From Dark Wizards… only a few… They've, they've been telling me that anyone I get close to may die. Getting a boyfriend would risk your life more than it already is, and my family's. They've threatened me to tell no one… they'd 'find out'. So don't tell anyone James, I can't trust many right now, outside our friends. They said they want me or want me alone… something like that. Something about people I love hating me or… I can't remember. So anyone who I love will be gone until there is no one left to love me. I intend to tell Dumbledore after out next Prefect meeting if it continues, which I think it will."
James was shocked. "I promise to tell no one, Lily. Not even Sirius… but, why not tell Dumbledore now?" He asked, worried and confusion all over his face.
"If I tell him now, someone who might be watching, will get curious. If I say I'll go to him to lay out some of our ideas personally, it'll seem less suspicious. Do you understand? Am I making sense? I'm rambling…" Lily told him, keeping her fingers on her temples the entire time.
"Yes, I do understand – but I don't completely agree…" James said, taking her hands from her head and keeping them in his own. "You really should go to Dumbledore now." Lily sighed. "But you think that someone's watching you? Have you noticed anything fishy? Do you know who it could be? Someone who's in lots of you classes? Knows your schedule? Follows you in any way? Anyone in Slytherin perhaps?" He bombarded her with questions, while also thinking of the answers to them himself.
"No, nothing fishy, but I'm not taking any chances, there's too much at stake. I mean, look what happened to Donna when she told no one –" She clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide. 'Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit… Had to open your big yap…'
"What? What happened to Donna? Why is she really in the Hospital Wing? Does is have to do with similar things to yours? Lily – tell the Headmaster! I'm not going to see you get hurt!" James exclaimed, grabbing a hold of her, forcing her gently to look him in the eyes. "I love you Lily, and don't want anything to happen to you. Do you understand what it would put me through, knowing I could have helped you? I couldn't live with you gone… I love you…"
She grabbed James into a hug, crying the whole time. She didn't let go for over ten minutes, 'How could I not go out with him?' was all she was thinking. 'Just hold yourself together… he said he understands…' she coaxed herself to not think of what might be. 'But it's so damn complicated! I want to be with him so much…'
"What happened to Donna? You never answered my questions…" He asked once she calmed down.
She explained everything, and I mean everything. Anything that had to do with Donna for the past six or so months, she told him. By the end of it, James understood why she hadn't wanted to tell anyone. Donna was living proof that whoever was contacting her would do their worst.
"So I can't get you involved in this James. They'll know somehow, and I couldn't live with myself knowing that I knew that your death would come of our dating, and I did it anyways. Please." She looked at him, staring at his love filled ocean blue eyes.
"As long as you promise me that you'll go to Dumbledore in three weeks, after our next meeting." James compromised.
"I promise you James." She hugged him tightly again. "God I love you so much." She said into his shoulder, resisting with all her strength not to kiss him right then and there.
James was first shocked, then lighter than air after she said that. He pulled back reluctantly, and wiped her tears away with his thumb. "I'll do it for you, Lily." He kissed her above her left eye, and helped her off the desk. "We have to go. I wonder how long we've been here?"
"Over an hour probably." Lily answered him, smiling at everything that was said between them. James loved her back, which was a great feeling. "But I'm only guestimating."
They made their way back to the Common Room, slowly. James had a question burning in the back of his head that he forgot to ask. His mind was a little dazed after Lily told him she loved him. She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. Yea, that sounded really good. He couldn't ask her his question now, though. They were out in the open, and as Lily had told him, anyone could hear them talking about it. As they got to the Portrait, James took her hands and kissed them, looking at the pools of jade in her eyes. The Fat Lady arched an eyebrow, than asked them for the password.
Lily glared at James as she said it. No doubt Sirius put him up to it. "Pus."
* * *
Yes! And so they finally come out and tell each other! Aren't you proud of me making my chapters longer? I am! Woo!
Ok – did you notice how in James' questions to who's Lily's 'stalker' could be, whom it pointed to? If not – go back and read again! *smiles her biggest smile*
On to my Thanks for Chapter 13!
devilishly sexy: thank you!! And how long is it going to be? I don't know… I'll be doing up to the end of 7th year… and we're only near the end of September… 6th year… so it'll be a while before this story is over! A long, long, long while!
Katrina: to lazy to sign in again, eh? Thanks for your great review! I don't know where that prank idea came from… I pulled it out of my ass… all I ate for 2 days straight was PB and crackers… don't know why. I had such a craving… so that would explain any oddness with the prank… And James and Lily won't be the first to get together! ;)
sayuri-chan: it was a groovy chapter, wasn't it? I think Peter would be the kind of guy who needs to moisturize… suits him, don'tcha think? Thanks for the review!
JoeBob1379: With BNL, what's your fave song? I really like 'What a good boy'. Great song! And it was my first cliffy! Even if it was a small one… Thanks for your review! They're always fun!
Zoe Lefebvre: Why does everybody want Donna and Remus together? Birds of a feather flock together, I suppose, eh?
Did you like how I made their reaction after the kiss? Sort of unexpected, eh? Even though Lily already said she couldn't have a b/f… ah well! Thanks a million for your review!
Laina: Yea… I posted after Friday… sorry bout that. Hope you enjoyed the post!
Ok guys! I'm not going to make any promises about my next post! So many things to do! LOTR:FOTR extended dvd, Les Misèrables, HP:COS… so it might be next weekend!! AHH! I still have to type it up, and stuff!
Warning: the next chapter is a sad one. Warning you all now. But I'm still very proud of it!! :) :) :)
