Hagrid/Hedwig...
Once upon a time there was a wizard called Adragonius Fuzzlebottom, who isn't much to do with this story at all, but he did like owls a little too much as well so he is needed for "Historical Background". The main reason he is in this story is because Ron had to write an essay about him for Care of Magical creatures. Hagrid was trying to broaden peoples views on "people who like owls a little too much as well", for Hagrid, you see, was having an affair with Hedwig. Draco Malfoy had found out and was using this as a tactic to get him out of having to go anywhere near anymore Blast Ended Skrewts ever again, although he did have to put up with Hagrid trying to butter him up by giving him gifts of rock cakes and so on.
Draco didn't tell hagrid that he'd never really give away the secret, because he was clever and didn't like skrewts. Hagrid was wondering about talking to Hedwig about Draco knowing about their love, but when he'd tried she'd just hooted at him and coughed up some rat bones. Hagrid was sure that was probably romantic, for an owl.
So he gave her some more rock cakes. He found these were very useful for seducing things, but didn't seem to work on Draco. (This was because he'd only previously used them to seduce Professor McGonagall, and she'd wanted them to use as paperweights.)
"Hedwig, my love," sighed Hagrid.
"Hoot," said Hedwig, and ruffled her feathers. Then she flew away into the night.
"Til tomorrow then, sweetums!" called Hagrid after her and slowly put his clothes back on. No! You perverts! He was naked because he had needed to scrape owl droppings off his coat. Pig was delighting in trying to break Hedwig and Hagrid up.
The next day, in Care of Magical Creatures, Ron hadn't done his essay.
"But the guy fancied owls, hagrid! you expect us to write an essay about him"
"that's a lame excuse, Ron", pointed out someone who was probably Hermione but Ron was too consumed with annoyance to even care. He went a lovely scarlet sort of colour and planned out ways to kill Blast Ended Skrewts in his head. Draco Malfoy sat in a corner, eating a Christmas pie.
But he was careful to avoid the rock cakes, after seeing their effect on Hedwig the night before. Incidently, the reason Draco would never tell anyone about Hagrid and Hedwig was that he was spying on them, and found it very amusing. Also he was in love with Harry and thought that getting one of Harry's best friends sent down for unnatural behaviour would probably not win him a date at the Three Broomsticks in a few nights time.
"Why did you want him to write the essay anyway?" asked Hermione, confused.
Hagrid blushed, but no one noticed because of all the hair. (that, by the way, is why hagrid has so much hair)(well, one of the reasons anyway).
"Smrrnffrr," said Draco, with a mouthful of pie. No-one was sure what he meant. Harry looked at him quizzically, and Ron tried to throw a Blast Ended Skrewt at Crabbe to see if he'd notice. The lesson descended into anarchy. Parvati Patil ended up in the hospital wing, but that was only because she'd fainted head first into a water-trough.
And it looked like Hagrid and Hedwig were going to live happily ever after without anyone knowing (apart from Draco). However...
"hagrid, I'd like to have a word with you," said Albus Dumbledore quietly. Hagrid began to panic as Dumbledore led him up through the secret doorway into the Headmaster's Office.
"I know about you and Hedwig," said Dumbledore.
"But how?" asked Hagrid, griefstricken.
"I see everything," pointed out Dumbledore. "And believe me, that's not a good thing when Severus Snape's taking his annual bath."
Once upon a time there was a wizard called Adragonius Fuzzlebottom, who isn't much to do with this story at all, but he did like owls a little too much as well so he is needed for "Historical Background". The main reason he is in this story is because Ron had to write an essay about him for Care of Magical creatures. Hagrid was trying to broaden peoples views on "people who like owls a little too much as well", for Hagrid, you see, was having an affair with Hedwig. Draco Malfoy had found out and was using this as a tactic to get him out of having to go anywhere near anymore Blast Ended Skrewts ever again, although he did have to put up with Hagrid trying to butter him up by giving him gifts of rock cakes and so on.
Draco didn't tell hagrid that he'd never really give away the secret, because he was clever and didn't like skrewts. Hagrid was wondering about talking to Hedwig about Draco knowing about their love, but when he'd tried she'd just hooted at him and coughed up some rat bones. Hagrid was sure that was probably romantic, for an owl.
So he gave her some more rock cakes. He found these were very useful for seducing things, but didn't seem to work on Draco. (This was because he'd only previously used them to seduce Professor McGonagall, and she'd wanted them to use as paperweights.)
"Hedwig, my love," sighed Hagrid.
"Hoot," said Hedwig, and ruffled her feathers. Then she flew away into the night.
"Til tomorrow then, sweetums!" called Hagrid after her and slowly put his clothes back on. No! You perverts! He was naked because he had needed to scrape owl droppings off his coat. Pig was delighting in trying to break Hedwig and Hagrid up.
The next day, in Care of Magical Creatures, Ron hadn't done his essay.
"But the guy fancied owls, hagrid! you expect us to write an essay about him"
"that's a lame excuse, Ron", pointed out someone who was probably Hermione but Ron was too consumed with annoyance to even care. He went a lovely scarlet sort of colour and planned out ways to kill Blast Ended Skrewts in his head. Draco Malfoy sat in a corner, eating a Christmas pie.
But he was careful to avoid the rock cakes, after seeing their effect on Hedwig the night before. Incidently, the reason Draco would never tell anyone about Hagrid and Hedwig was that he was spying on them, and found it very amusing. Also he was in love with Harry and thought that getting one of Harry's best friends sent down for unnatural behaviour would probably not win him a date at the Three Broomsticks in a few nights time.
"Why did you want him to write the essay anyway?" asked Hermione, confused.
Hagrid blushed, but no one noticed because of all the hair. (that, by the way, is why hagrid has so much hair)(well, one of the reasons anyway).
"Smrrnffrr," said Draco, with a mouthful of pie. No-one was sure what he meant. Harry looked at him quizzically, and Ron tried to throw a Blast Ended Skrewt at Crabbe to see if he'd notice. The lesson descended into anarchy. Parvati Patil ended up in the hospital wing, but that was only because she'd fainted head first into a water-trough.
And it looked like Hagrid and Hedwig were going to live happily ever after without anyone knowing (apart from Draco). However...
"hagrid, I'd like to have a word with you," said Albus Dumbledore quietly. Hagrid began to panic as Dumbledore led him up through the secret doorway into the Headmaster's Office.
"I know about you and Hedwig," said Dumbledore.
"But how?" asked Hagrid, griefstricken.
"I see everything," pointed out Dumbledore. "And believe me, that's not a good thing when Severus Snape's taking his annual bath."
