Yay! I have reviews! Thank you guys so much. It means a lot to me. ^__^ Special thanks to RyogazGal. I'm not sure my friends are against yaoi in general, but they're very likely against Tazchi. One of them is a Tasuki no Miko. And considering one of them couldn't even say the word "gay" over IM (he said: "I didn't know Tomo wasyou know") I get the feeling they might not like it much. Other than that, they're great. Also, I know it's Shinzaho, I was just trying to do the little line thing over the "o", but the browser doesn't accept it. Oh, well. Anyway, I was thankful to get your review. This also applies to Fujimaya Maru, Charlie, Xellas M., PandaBear007, shadow priestess and Moonraven. You guys (and girls) are great.
Disclaimer: not mine*sniff*
Warning: this story's still yaoi, like it was last chapter
-----------------True Happiness-------------------
He's been watching me, and it's making me a little nervous. He's always got this sort of half-curious, half-just-plain-puzzled look on his face. I keep my mask firmly in place, glad to have something to hide the sadness with.
I avoid him whenever I can, and at the same time I go out of my way to be near him. I don't want him to start asking me questions, but I want to see him smile, hear him laugh. It's worth whatever pain it causes.
The others have noticed that I'm quieter than normal. It's drawn several confused looks, but so far nobody's asked me about anything. I'm glad about that, anyway.
He yawns and mutters goodnight before heading upstairs. I watch him walk away. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Nuriko watching him, too. The difference is that Nuriko gets up to follow him while I stay seated, hoping Tasuki won't notice that I was looking at him. Feeling sort of flat, and not wanting to think what will happen whe Nuriko and Tasuki reach Tasuki's room, I leave the group as well. I tell everyone that I want to turn in early so I'll be as rested as possible tomorrow when we go to look for the Shinzaho. I hope I sound cheerful. I think I do.
Lately I've gotten better at lying.
***
I stumble tiredly up the stairs, not noticing Nuriko behind me until I hear him.
"Ne, Tasuki-kun, are you all right? You seem a littledistant."
To my surprise, I'm a little annoyed that he followed me. I push that feeling away quickly and assure Nuriko that I'm fine. Then I decide that this is as good a time as any to talk to him.
"Listen, Nuriko, II gotta talk t' ya."
I look him in the eye. I can see nervousness there, andsomething else too. He looks almost as though he knows what I'm going to say.
"I" I'm not sure what to say. 'I think you're in love with Miaka' sounds stupid, and 'Do you really like me?' sounds insecure, and 'I don't think I'm in love with you anymore' sounds heartless"I've just been thinking about usI'm not sure about some stuffan', well" I end up shrugging helplessly.
Nuriko nods sadly, as though he expected it. "II'm not sure either. I thought that I'dthat I could be happy with you" he pauses and sees a slightly hurt look on my face. "And I was, don't get me wrong, it's just that lately, well, it hasn't felt quite right. Like maybe"
"Like maybeit ain't supposed t' be this way?" I suggest.
He nods again. "That's it, exactly. It's like a voice I can't quite hear is telling me that things should be different, and I'm not sure how to react."
I'm shocked. Now that I think about it, that's precisely what I was feeling, without knowing how to describe it. I nod.
"So, how are ya gonna react?" I ask, although I already know the answer.
He knows that I know, so he just smiles weakly and says, "Still friends?"
I stare at him in disbelief. How can he even ask? "Ya damn well better not stop being my friend 'cause ya broke up with me!"
He raises his eyebrows. "I broke up with you? I was under the impression that you started this conversation, Tasuki-kun." He laughs a little, and any tension left after my comment is gone. I smile, and he leaves.
Somehow, I feel sadder than I expected. I can't help feeling like I might not get to laugh with Nuriko againand even if I don't love him, I do love him, andnow I'm more confused than ever.
***
Breakfast the next day isinteresting. We're splitting into groups and Tamahome and Tasuki are teasing Nuriko about how much he looks like a girl, and how he won't be able to go anywhere without getting "hit on". It's true, Nuriko has drawn stares from men and women alike since we've arrived. Nuriko says something about how, if his looking like a girl is so much of a problem, maybe he should fix it.
He shocks everyone in the room, even those who don't know him, by pulling his hair around over his shoulder and slicing cleanly through it.
Everyone is silent until Nuriko speaks, saying that we should continue with our plans. We do so. It is decided that Nuriko will go with Tamahome and Miaka, since there is no one to be his partner.
And so we set out.
--To be continued
Yeah! Another chapter done! I also would like to say that I'm sorry for the thin layer of dust that accumulated on this fic. I know I promised that if I got reviews, there would be no dust collectingI hope you can forgive me and review the chapter::grin::
