Ok, I had to replace chapter 1 with a slightly altered version, because (as I just noticed) the end of the old ch. 1 read: "I stumbled up the stairs to my room and fell into bed, fervently hoping that things would make more sense in the morning", yet, in ch. 2, Tasuki talks to Nuriko before going to bed. *Oops...*

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned FY.

Warning: WHY do I have to put this every time? You should all know that it's yaoi by now.

-------True Happiness-------

Where in the world had Tas" come from? I silently berated myself. Why did you have to call him that in front of someone else?

He called you Chiri' first' a tiny voice at the back of my head piped up. And you did tell him that you'd call him Tas' if he called you that.'

I shook my head. At least Tasuki hadn't seemed to mind the nickname. He would have said something if it bothered him. That's the way he is. Isn't he?

These thoughts were going nowhere. All they were doing was keeping me from sleeping. I rolled over. Tomorrow morning, I'd find a quiet place to meditate, and try to clear my head.

***

"Tas", I muttered. There isn't really another way to shorten my name...except for 'Suki. I reddened a little at the thought of Chichiri calling me something that means likes' or favorite'.

On second thought, "Tas" was fine.

It wasn't really the nickname that bothered me, it was the person who'd given it to me. No, that wasn't right; Chichiri didn't bother me at all. The way I felt about Chichiri bothered me. He was a monk, for Suzaku's sake! Monks aren't allowed to...

I stopped in mid-thought; thinking like this was making me distinctly uncomfortable. I don't know why; I'm not a virgin, but Chichiri was different, somehow. And then it hit me.

It didn't matter to me if Chichiri and I never had sex. It did hurt to think that he might never return my feelings, but the physical aspect of our relationship wasn't important to me.

I loved him.

My eyes widened. Shit. I was in deeper than I'd thought.

***

I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, unable to close my eyes for very long. I tried breathing deeply, I tried imagining myself into the most peaceful places I could think of...

It didn't work.

Finally, just before sunrise, I gave up. I wasn't going to get to sleep. My thoughts wouldn't allow it. I knew I would have to talk to Tasuki soon. I wasn't sure how long I could last without sleep.

I slipped out of bed and went in search of a quiet corner. I peered into the library.

Chiriko was sitting at a table, snoring softly. He'd apparently fallen asleep over the scroll he had been studying. I smiled to myself and moved on.

I finally found a small room at the eastern side of the house. It had a large window, and it looked as though it may have been built for the owner of the house to watch the sunrise. No one was in it now, however.

I sat down cross-legged, facing the window. I closed my eyes. I breathed in and out, counting the breaths in groups of ten. I focused on the breathing, trying to shut everything else out.

***

Around sunrise, I gave up on trying to sleep. When I'd been in love with Nuriko, even before I'd told him, I'd never lost sleep over it.

But, again, Chichiri was different. And somehow, now that I knew how I felt about him, I was both more and less confused than I'd been before.

I stepped quietly out of my room, hoping that taking a walk would help me think clearly.

Wandering through the house, I passed the room where Mitsukake was sleeping. I passed the library, where Chiriko'd fallen asleep over some scroll or other.

I paused at the door to Chichiri's room. It couldn't hurt just to look at him, could it? What harm could that do?

I pushed the door open slowly, trying not to let it creak. I peered through the doorway.

He wasn't there.

I looked around his room, my eyes finding his staff, his kasa, and his kesa. I was relieved, knowing he'd never leave the house without them.

I grinned. My walk just took on a new purpose.

I was going Chichiri-hunting.

***

Through my eyelids, I could tell that the room was getting lighter. The sun must be rising,' I thought.

I continued to count my breaths, slowly calming into a trance-like state.

And then, I felt his chi. I smiled.

He came closer, and then stopped at the door of the room I was in. I could almost feel his eyes boring into by back.

***

I crept silently through the halls. If I were a Chichiri, where would I hide?' I asked myself. It was around the time for sunrise. Chichiri liked nature. He'd probably be somewhere where he could see the sunrise.

I turned eastward.

At times, being a bandit comes in handy. I'm very good at walking quietly. I was grateful for this ability a few minutes later, when I found the room Chichiri was in.

It was a simple room, with very few furnishings. There was a chair against the wall by the door, and a table beside the chair. That was all, except for Chichiri, who doesn't count as a furnishing.

He was sitting on the floor. His back was to me, since he was facing the large window opposite the door. His hair was clasped into a loose ponytail, which hung down his back. He was wearing a light cotton shirt and his normal forest-green pants. His feet were bare, which I could tell because he was sitting cross-legged, with his hands resting palms-down on his thighs.

He was backlit softly by the first light of the sunrise, which threw him into a slight shadow.

I wished I could see his face.

I was glad I had walked up so quietly. The fact that he didn't know I was there meant I could just watch him for a few minutes.

"Ohayo, Tas," he said quietly, without turning around.

Damn. I'd forgotten about how he could sense chi.

-----To be continued

I don't think I did too well on this chapter, but I felt like I needed something like this in here. Not really sure why, I just felt like it was necessary. Anyway, I hope it didn't make you suffer too much. Sorry this chapter's short. I'll try to post again soon. If you could find it in your heart to review, I would really appreciate it.

~Mikazuki