Friday
Disclaimers: 'Clover' belongs to CLAMP.
Summary: Kazuhiko contemplates. Gingetsu-Ran stuff coming on it's way in the next chapter.
Radishface
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[ 4:00 AM ]
Kazuhiko stared blankly at his bedroom ceiling. It had only been so long since he had last talked to Gingetsu.
His own search for Ora had failed miserably. She had been killed, she had died, he had loved her. It was all just a sad romantic drama, in the end. After this time, though, he was beginning to forget, beginning to let it by him, beginning to let the memories slide, so it wouldn't hurt as much.
And it didn't. Not as much as it did before, anyway.
Now Gingetsu was going to leave, going to leave his own sense of security. It seemed the job was made for him, the insignificant, small job, a simple commander, a simple lieutenant, whose reign in battle never lasted very long, whose work consisted of signing papers he didn't agree with, how to devise backup strategies never put into action, how to figure out enemy positions that never existed.
It was a lie, the whole battle against nonentities, the whole war against the world. It was fitting.
Happiness, Sue had said. Clovers could find their happiness in the end, and anybody could. You just had to look in the right place.
And had she found it? He supposed she had. Happiness in death, in nonexistence, nonbeing. You wouldn't know anything anymore if you were dead. You would be aware of the things going around you. You were oblivious, ignorant. And perhaps that was the best that life could offer. And happiness was fleeting in it's security, in it's ethereal moments grasped here. Was it worth it?
Gingetsu was leaving his security, his life, the only life he could have know. And what for?
Kazuhiko smiled wryly, and then turned over in his bed. He had a feeling his former commander could be like that.
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