Title: The One With The Flashfoward
Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Friends. I have a few, I like them, I hang out with them, but I do not own them or the TV show. I watch the TV show, I own a few tapes, but I had to buy those tapes and I am not allowed to say they are mine. I am an aspiring....That was gonna be really deep and insightful, but I'm not a deep and insightful person. Okay, I'll let you get back to the story.

A/N: Okay, there will be a few jokes that I took directly from the show, and sometimes they will be lame and will have nothing to do with the story except for the fact that I want them there, so this is of course, a very strange story. I am a very strange person. Okay, fine, you can read the story. Whatever, don't listen to my ramblings. Okay, gotta type!

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Scene: Joey's. Phoebe is singing and playing the guitar. Ben, Emma, and Courtney are sitting on the floor watching her. Rachel is sitting on the counter trying to figure out what Cups is.

Phoebe: And now our Neil must decide/Who will be the girl that he casts aside/Will Betty be the one that he loves truly/Or will it be the one who we'll call Loolie?/He must decide/He must decide/Even though I made him up he must decide.

Emma: Wow. (to Rachel)Mom, is that really about you?

Courtney: That's about you, Aunt Rachel? Cool!

Phoebe: (to Emma)Yes, that is about your Mom. And it's about your Dad. It's about your Mom and your Dad.

Ben: Now, what have we learned so far? (A/N: See? What'd I tell you? Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. But funny.)

Rachel: (to Ben) You've been hanging around Chandler too much.

Ben: I know. I should probably leave now. (gets up and leaves)

Courtney: Now, I understand that it's about Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ross, and I'm guessing that they are Betty and Neil, but who's Loolie?

Phoebe: Why don't you answer that, Rachel?

Emma, Courtney, and Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah!

Rachel: No, it was such a long time ago.

The girls: Oh, come on!

Phoebe: Damnit!

Rachel: Okay! Okay, Pheebs, now don't get hostile. I'll tell the story.

Phoebe: Cool! (takes off her guitar and sits on the floor around Rachel with Courtney and Emma.)



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Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Joey, and Chandler are all gathered around the window, apparently staring at Ross.

Monica: Look, now he's dancing!

Joey: Oh, cool! Oh, we chould totally videotape this!

Chandler: This is better than when Ugly Naked Guy lived there!

Monica: Remember when Ross went over and it was Naked Ross?

Joey: Yeah, that was freaky.

Chandler: At least he's not doing that again.

They watch for a minute.

Monica: Who's that at the door?

Joey: I don't know, but I remember that lady behind her.

Chandler: Oh, my god! That's Emily!

Joey: And her bridesmaid! OH, what was her name? (looks at Chandler)

Chandler: I don't know! I was busy covering up the fact that I was sleeping with Monica! Ow! (A/N: Yeah, Monica hit him. It's Monica, for crying out loud! Sorry, I'll leave you alone now. Just remember, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!)

Joey just keeps looking at Chandler. Chandler finally gives in.

Chandler: Felicity.

Joey: Thanks! (runs out the door. Monica is now on the phone.)

Monica: Ross, what is Emily doing over there?(listens)Well, ask her!(goes to hang up the phone) Oh, and call me as soon as you find out. (hangs up.)

Chandler: Hey, now Joey's over there. (Monica goes back over to the window.)

Monica: Waw, that teenaged guy looks a lot like Ross.

Chandler: And, yet, somehow like Emily. (they both look at each other and realize.)

Both: NO!!!!!!!



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Scene: Joey's. The girls are still over there. Rachel is finishing her story.

Courtney: And what happened after you got back together?

Rachel: Well, nothing. We've been together since the last divorce.

Emma: Wow. Daddy's been divorced four times.

Rachel: Yep. He married a lesbian, he said the wrong name at the altar, we were drunk and in Vegas, not so much his fault, and he got all jealous about the guy at the coffee house.

Phoebe: (interrupting) I still can't believe you kissed Gunther.

Rachel does the famous sign for giving the finger without giving the finger. You know it. Yes you do. Phoebe sticks out her tounge before picking up her guitar and starts singing her old songs again.

Phoebe: Crazy underwear/creeping up my butt/crazy underwear/always in rut/crazy underwear...



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Scene: Ross's apartment. Emily and her sister Felicity are there. They are standing awkwardly near the door. There is a fifteen-year-old guy with them. He looks like a cross between Ross and Emily. (yes, he is Ross's son. What a twist!) Ross is sitting on the couch. He has books and crushed boxes scattered around him. Joey bursts in the door.

Joey: (to Felicity in that Joey way) How you doin'?

Felicity: Hi, Joey. Talk New York to me.

Joey: Fuhgeddaboutit! (they head out the door)

Emily: Ross, I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here.

Ross: Yeah, of course. I haven't seen you in forever. And you just show up. Monica's wondering too. That was her on the phone.

Emily: Yes, I know. I'm not stupid.

Conner(it has a name!!): Mum! Get on with it!

Ross: Yeah, Emily. Why are you here?

Emily: Well. I just want you to know. When we parted, after, actually, I, well, I found out I was pregnant.

Ross:(high squeaky voice)Pregnant?! (clears throat. still squeaky) Preg- (clears throat. still squeaky[does this three more times] and finally) PREGNANT!?!?!?

Emily: Yes, and he is yours.

Ross: Okay, thank you. I-uh-I'll-uh-I-uh-I-uh...(opens door to a closet[thinks it's into the hall] and just goes into it. Emily says this loudly through the door.)


Emily: Well, I waited to tell you, bacause when I found out, it was right after we split up, and we ended on such horrible terms, and I wasn't sure I should tell you.

Ross comes out of the closet.

Ross: It's dark in there. (grabs a dinosaur. kinda laughs) It's glow-in-the-dark. (goes back into the closet. comes right back out.) No, it's not.

Conner: Hi, Dad.

Monica and Chandler run through the door.

Monica: NO!!!!!!!!

Chandler: (shakes Conner's hand) Hey, man. I'm Chandler. I'm your uncle. By marriage.

Conner: Hi, I'm Conner.

Chandler: Cool name. Good job, Emily.

Emily: Thank you, I think.

Monica: It's not true, is it?

Ross: What do you mean?

Monica: There's no way it could be true. Because one thing's for sure, if it were true, you(Ross) would be freaking out a lot more. I've seen you learn of two pregnancies from two different women. You would be freaking out a whole lot more. A whole lot. (to Chandler.)It's true isn't it?(Chandler nods)NO!!!Okay, okay, calm down, Monica, this can't psyche you out. (to Emily) Were you sure it was Ross's?

Emily: Not entirely at first.

Chandler: Hah! And all that time you didn't trust Ross, he should have been not trusting you! (everyone stares at him) Monica! Say something! (Monica just stares at him and crosses her arms.) I'll just watch all of this from across the street. Where I won't talk. (lets himself out.)

Ross: So, what do you want me to do about this? What, do I get custody half the year and you get custody the other half?

Emily: I don't know, I don't know.(Chandler sticks his head in the door.)

Chandler: Hey, can I order a pizza for dinner?

Monica: Whatever you want Chandler. Now leave!

Chandler: Monica, are you sure that you're not imposing on this private family talk?

Monica: No! Of course not!(sees that the other three are staring at her.) Fine. I'm leaving.

Chandler nods and takes her out of the apartment. Before the door fully closes, Monica runs back in and grabs two twentys out of the bowl on Ross's coffee table.