Title: The One With The Flashforward
Chapter 8
I own nothing. Well, I own a few things.
~~~~
Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Rachel and Emma are packing. It looks like a department store exploded in their living room. Ross is sitting on the couch. He has one suitcase.
Rachel: Emma, honey, make sure you don't forget anything.
Ross: (to himself) How could she? She's taking all of her clothes with her.
Rachel: What was that, honey?
Ross: Nothing, sweetie.
Rachel: Okay. (leans down to kiss Ross and notices something) Oh, look, it's last month's Vogue. Ooh, I forgot that dress! (rushes off to her room)
Emma: Hey, Dad?
Ross: Yeah?
Emma: Don't tell Mom, but I thought Conner was kinda cool.
Ross: You should e-mail him and tell him that. His address is in my briefcase.
Emma: Cool!
Emma runs off. Rachel comes back with about six dresses.
Ross: I thought you said you forgot that dress. That, as in one.
Rachel: Well, I found more! Aren't they great?
Ross: (chuckles) Uh, Rachel, a week is seven days.
Rachel: I know that.
Ross: Yeah, well, your clothes don't seem to know that.
Rachel: I've got to bring something for all sorts of occasions.
Ross: (chuckles again) Not Christmas!
Rachel: I'm not bringing anything for Christmas.
Ross holds up a sweater that says "Merry Christmas" on it.
Rachel: Oh, you consider that Christmasy? I don't.
Ross keeps holding up Christmas clothes, like long red and green velvet dresses.
Rachel: Okay, I'll take that suitcase back.
Ross: And that one. (points to another one)
Rachel: And that one. (she picks up both suitcases and has to drag them back to her room cause they're so heavy.)
Ross: Great, now maybe Emma can fit in the rental car.
Rachel: (from her room) I just want to say, Ross, that if something comes up and you don't have the right outfit, don't come crying to me.
Ross: Fine, you can keep the Easter suitcase.
Rachel: (comes running from her room and hugs Ross) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
~~~~
Scene: The hallway between Monica and Chandler's and Joey's apartments. Monica, Chandler, and Courtney are coming back from a shopping excursion in the grocery store. Monica and Courtney are each carrying one bag and Chandler is lagging behind, carrying six.
Monica: Come on, Chandler, you slowpoke! You've got the key!
Chandler finishes walking up the stairs.
Chandler: Six flights!
Courtney: Come on, Dad!
Chandler: Okay! (drops his bags)
Monica/Courtney: Chandler/Dad!
Chandler: Well, how else am I gonna get my key?
Courtney: You don't just drop the bags! You never just drop the bags! There could be something breakable!
Monica: Yeah, listen to your daughter, Chandler!
Chandler: Oh, she is so your daughter!
Phoebe walks out of Joey's apartment. Her hair is desheveled and her dress is on backwards.
Chandler and Monica: Oh, my god.
Chandler: Here, Courtney, take the key and go inside.
Monica: Take the bags.
Courtney takes the key from her father, unlocks the door, and daintily picks up her bag and Monica's purse and enters the apartment, closing the door behind her.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Chandler: Are you coming from Joey's?
Phoebe: Mm-hmm.
Monica: What the hell were you doing?
Phoebe: Um, playing foosball.
Joey opens the door in his robe.
Joey: Here, Pheebs, you forgot your bra. (holds it out to her)
Chandler: Was it naked foosball?
Joey: Oh, hey guys. Pheebs, your bra. ( suddenly realizes) I mean, this isn't your bra. This wouldn't be your bra. Why would your bra be in my apartment? I dunno, cause the only reason would be if we were--and we weren't-- I mean, No! I mean, I'll just leave now. (turns to go. Phoebe holds out a hand to stop him)
Phoebe: (dramatically) No, Joseph. We can't hide it any longer.
Joey: Pheebs, what the hell are you talking about?
Phoebe: (ignores him) Yes, it's true. Joseph and I are (pauses for dramatic effect, then whispers) sleeping together.
Monica: (gasps) No!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last little bit.
Monica: What are you deaf? She said they were sleeping together!
Phoebe: Oh, my god, Monica! You are so loud! He was probably just joking.
Joey: Yeah, you've been living together for years. Don't you know him yet?
Chandler: Oh, my god, you don't know me at all!
Monica: Sorry, I'm just a little high-strung.
Chandler: Yeah, okay. (frantically to Phoebe and Joey) The two of you are sleeping together?!
~~~~
Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are all sitting there not talking. Ross and Rachel enter arguing.
Ross: No, it was stupid to say yes to skiing!
Rachel: I told you not to come crying to me if you didn't have the right clothes!
Ross: You had so much stuff we couldn't fit in the car!
Rachel: Shh! (to everyone else, like they weren't just arguing) Hi!!
Ross: Hi.
Monica: What are you guys doing back so early? It's only been three days.
Ross: Yeah, well, somebody told her sister we could go skiing!
Rachel: Shut up, I thought it would be fun.
Ross: In shorts and a T-shirt?
Rachel: I told you--
Phoebe: Joey and I slept together!
Ross: What?
Rachel: Oh, my god!
Phoebe: (all happy) Yeah, I know!
Rachel: So, are you guys going out now?
Phoebe: Well, I don't know, we haven't really talked about--
Monica: I'm pregnant!
Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross: What??!
Chandler: What? How? What? Why didn't you tell me? What?
Monica: Yep, I'm pregnant with twins!
Chandler: What? If you haven't even told me yer, how do you know it's twins?
Monica: I just do!
Everyone stares at her for just a minute and then Ross and Rachel resume arguing and Joey and Phoebe start talking about dating. Chandler leans in close to Monica.
Chandler: (whispering) You're not really pregnant, are you?
Monica: Of course I am! Oh, you wanna feel the girl kick? She's gonna be a soccer player!
~~~~
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch.
Chandler: Monica, you have to let it go.
Monica: No!
Chandler: Monica, everyone knows you aren't pregnant.
Monica: Yes, I am!!!
Chandler: What is it with you and your thunder? Are you afraid someone will take your lightning, too? (starts to laugh at his own joke)
Monica: Shut up, you lightning bearer!
She storms away to her room. Chandler gets up to follow her, but there's a knock on the door so he goes to answer it instead. It's Rachel and Ross.
Rachel: Hey! We're here to pick up Emma.
Chandler: Emma's not here.
Rachel: Wait....Well, then, where's Courtney?
Chandler: With Emma.
Ross: Where's Emma?
Chandler: With Ben.
Rachel: Where's Ben?
Chandler: (to Ross) My god, man! Can't you even keep track of your own children?
Ross: Hey, you didn't know your wife was pregnant.
Rachel: With twins.
Chandler: She's not pregnant!
Monica enters from her room with a pillow stuffed in her shirt.
Monica: Yes, I am!! (everyone turns to face her)
Chandler: Monica, what the hell are doing?
Monica: I'm gonna have our baby, sweetie.
Chandler: You need help. Or maybe I do. (walks out the door muttering to himself)
~~~~
Scene: Joey's. Joey is there watching TV when Phoebe comes in.
Phoebe: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Phoebe: Guess what?
Joey: (turns off the TV and turns around to face Phoebe) What?
Phoebe: David finished waht he was doing in Minsk, and he came back, and he surprised me at my apartment, and he proposed.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
Phoebe: So I told him no.
Joey: (perking up) Oh?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because.
Joey: Because why?
Phoebe: You're my lobster!!!
~~~~
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler's back. Monica is sitting on the couch with her arms crossed above the pillow in her shirt and a mad look on her face. Ross, Rachel, and Chandler are talking to her.
Chandler: You know, you don't always have to be the center of attention.
Rachel: Yeah, sweetie, that's not the most important thing in life.
Monica: Yeah? Well, then, what is?
Rachel: Um, Ross, you wanna take over?
Ross: Family. You know, you've got Courtney, and you've got Chandler. And me, and Ben and Rachel and Emma.
Rachel: Why was Ben before me?
Ross: What?
Rachel: Why'd you list Ben before you listed me?
Ross: Well, she's been related to Ben longer than she's been related to you.
Rachel: Yeah, but I've known her longer!
Chandler: Uh, hello? Focus! We've got an insane woman who thinks she's pregnant over her! (Monica clears her throat and gives him a look) I mean, we've got a beautiful woman who should definitely have more children, because she's soooo beautiful, she's just not pregnant yet.
Monica: Thank you. I wanna have another baby!
Courtney comes in.
Courtney: Hey.
Rachel: Hey, it's Courtney! Your daughter! Your actual, real life daughter! (gets up and hugs her)
Courtney: Uh, thanks, Aunt Rachel.
Ross: Hey, Courtney. Quick question. Do you happen to know where Emma is?
Courtney: Yeah, she's in your apartment. She's been looking for you guys for, like, a week. What are you guys doing over here?
Monica: They just are. Hey, what would you think about having a little brother or sister?
Courtney: (excited)Oh, my god, Mom, are you pregnant?
Monica: Yes, I am!
Chandler: No, Courtney, she's not. Right, Monica?
Monica: Fine, I'm not. But I wanna be!
Chandler: Okay, do you wanna try?
Monica: Oh, my god, YES!!
Chandler: Okay! (they start to run to their room) Hey, Ross, take Courtney over to your apartment, why don't you? Thanks!
The door to Monica and Chandler's room slams. Courtney and Rachel stand there with surprised looks on their faces. The look on Ross' face, however, is a look of disgust.
~~~~
Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are there. Phoebe and Joey enter.
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: So, guess what?
Ross, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Phoebe: Joey, you know!
Joey: I do? Oh, yeah!
Phoebe: Okay. Joey (pauses) proposed! (holds up her left hand)
Chandler: Oh, that's great!
Ross: Yeah, but are you sure it's his ring?
Joey: Dude, I knew you were so not good with that!
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just, I... (trails off. Everyone is staring at him) So you're engaged! Cool!!
Phoebe: I know!
~~~~
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Rachel, Emma, and Courtney are knitting at the kitchen table. Emma is doing okay, Courtney and Monica are doing great, but Rachel's basically sucks.
Rachel: Okay, I cannot get this!
Monica: That's okay, you don't have to make any baby clothes!
Rachel: God, Monica, just drop it, okay?
Monica: Fine.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey come in. General 'Heys' are exchanged.
Phoebe: Guess what?
Rachel: What, what? I wanna know!
Ross: No, you don't.
Rachel: I do! I do! Tell me!!
Phoebe: Well, it has to do with two of those words.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, is it about me?
Phoebe: No! I do!
Monica: Oh, did David propose?
Joey: Yes. (under his breath) That bastard!
Phoebe: Joey! There are children present! (holds out her hand to indicate the children and points to Chandler and Ross)
Joey: Sorry.
Phoebe: Don't tell me, tell the children.
Joey: (to Ross and Chandler) Sorry, dudes.
Chandler: Hey, that's okay, man.
Phoebe: Okay, so like I was saying, Joey proposed!
Rachel: Yeah, are you sure? Are you sure it's even his ring?
Joey: (to Ross) Dude! I'm sorry!
Ross: Yeah, it's okay.
Monica: Hey, I get to be your maid of honor! Okay, we have a lot of planning to do.
Everyone gets an 'oh, my god, not again! The devil is back!' look on their face.
A/N: Okay, I think if I keep going, I can get it up to ten chapters, and then that's all I wrote.
Chapter 8
I own nothing. Well, I own a few things.
~~~~
Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Rachel and Emma are packing. It looks like a department store exploded in their living room. Ross is sitting on the couch. He has one suitcase.
Rachel: Emma, honey, make sure you don't forget anything.
Ross: (to himself) How could she? She's taking all of her clothes with her.
Rachel: What was that, honey?
Ross: Nothing, sweetie.
Rachel: Okay. (leans down to kiss Ross and notices something) Oh, look, it's last month's Vogue. Ooh, I forgot that dress! (rushes off to her room)
Emma: Hey, Dad?
Ross: Yeah?
Emma: Don't tell Mom, but I thought Conner was kinda cool.
Ross: You should e-mail him and tell him that. His address is in my briefcase.
Emma: Cool!
Emma runs off. Rachel comes back with about six dresses.
Ross: I thought you said you forgot that dress. That, as in one.
Rachel: Well, I found more! Aren't they great?
Ross: (chuckles) Uh, Rachel, a week is seven days.
Rachel: I know that.
Ross: Yeah, well, your clothes don't seem to know that.
Rachel: I've got to bring something for all sorts of occasions.
Ross: (chuckles again) Not Christmas!
Rachel: I'm not bringing anything for Christmas.
Ross holds up a sweater that says "Merry Christmas" on it.
Rachel: Oh, you consider that Christmasy? I don't.
Ross keeps holding up Christmas clothes, like long red and green velvet dresses.
Rachel: Okay, I'll take that suitcase back.
Ross: And that one. (points to another one)
Rachel: And that one. (she picks up both suitcases and has to drag them back to her room cause they're so heavy.)
Ross: Great, now maybe Emma can fit in the rental car.
Rachel: (from her room) I just want to say, Ross, that if something comes up and you don't have the right outfit, don't come crying to me.
Ross: Fine, you can keep the Easter suitcase.
Rachel: (comes running from her room and hugs Ross) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
~~~~
Scene: The hallway between Monica and Chandler's and Joey's apartments. Monica, Chandler, and Courtney are coming back from a shopping excursion in the grocery store. Monica and Courtney are each carrying one bag and Chandler is lagging behind, carrying six.
Monica: Come on, Chandler, you slowpoke! You've got the key!
Chandler finishes walking up the stairs.
Chandler: Six flights!
Courtney: Come on, Dad!
Chandler: Okay! (drops his bags)
Monica/Courtney: Chandler/Dad!
Chandler: Well, how else am I gonna get my key?
Courtney: You don't just drop the bags! You never just drop the bags! There could be something breakable!
Monica: Yeah, listen to your daughter, Chandler!
Chandler: Oh, she is so your daughter!
Phoebe walks out of Joey's apartment. Her hair is desheveled and her dress is on backwards.
Chandler and Monica: Oh, my god.
Chandler: Here, Courtney, take the key and go inside.
Monica: Take the bags.
Courtney takes the key from her father, unlocks the door, and daintily picks up her bag and Monica's purse and enters the apartment, closing the door behind her.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Chandler: Are you coming from Joey's?
Phoebe: Mm-hmm.
Monica: What the hell were you doing?
Phoebe: Um, playing foosball.
Joey opens the door in his robe.
Joey: Here, Pheebs, you forgot your bra. (holds it out to her)
Chandler: Was it naked foosball?
Joey: Oh, hey guys. Pheebs, your bra. ( suddenly realizes) I mean, this isn't your bra. This wouldn't be your bra. Why would your bra be in my apartment? I dunno, cause the only reason would be if we were--and we weren't-- I mean, No! I mean, I'll just leave now. (turns to go. Phoebe holds out a hand to stop him)
Phoebe: (dramatically) No, Joseph. We can't hide it any longer.
Joey: Pheebs, what the hell are you talking about?
Phoebe: (ignores him) Yes, it's true. Joseph and I are (pauses for dramatic effect, then whispers) sleeping together.
Monica: (gasps) No!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last little bit.
Monica: What are you deaf? She said they were sleeping together!
Phoebe: Oh, my god, Monica! You are so loud! He was probably just joking.
Joey: Yeah, you've been living together for years. Don't you know him yet?
Chandler: Oh, my god, you don't know me at all!
Monica: Sorry, I'm just a little high-strung.
Chandler: Yeah, okay. (frantically to Phoebe and Joey) The two of you are sleeping together?!
~~~~
Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are all sitting there not talking. Ross and Rachel enter arguing.
Ross: No, it was stupid to say yes to skiing!
Rachel: I told you not to come crying to me if you didn't have the right clothes!
Ross: You had so much stuff we couldn't fit in the car!
Rachel: Shh! (to everyone else, like they weren't just arguing) Hi!!
Ross: Hi.
Monica: What are you guys doing back so early? It's only been three days.
Ross: Yeah, well, somebody told her sister we could go skiing!
Rachel: Shut up, I thought it would be fun.
Ross: In shorts and a T-shirt?
Rachel: I told you--
Phoebe: Joey and I slept together!
Ross: What?
Rachel: Oh, my god!
Phoebe: (all happy) Yeah, I know!
Rachel: So, are you guys going out now?
Phoebe: Well, I don't know, we haven't really talked about--
Monica: I'm pregnant!
Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross: What??!
Chandler: What? How? What? Why didn't you tell me? What?
Monica: Yep, I'm pregnant with twins!
Chandler: What? If you haven't even told me yer, how do you know it's twins?
Monica: I just do!
Everyone stares at her for just a minute and then Ross and Rachel resume arguing and Joey and Phoebe start talking about dating. Chandler leans in close to Monica.
Chandler: (whispering) You're not really pregnant, are you?
Monica: Of course I am! Oh, you wanna feel the girl kick? She's gonna be a soccer player!
~~~~
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch.
Chandler: Monica, you have to let it go.
Monica: No!
Chandler: Monica, everyone knows you aren't pregnant.
Monica: Yes, I am!!!
Chandler: What is it with you and your thunder? Are you afraid someone will take your lightning, too? (starts to laugh at his own joke)
Monica: Shut up, you lightning bearer!
She storms away to her room. Chandler gets up to follow her, but there's a knock on the door so he goes to answer it instead. It's Rachel and Ross.
Rachel: Hey! We're here to pick up Emma.
Chandler: Emma's not here.
Rachel: Wait....Well, then, where's Courtney?
Chandler: With Emma.
Ross: Where's Emma?
Chandler: With Ben.
Rachel: Where's Ben?
Chandler: (to Ross) My god, man! Can't you even keep track of your own children?
Ross: Hey, you didn't know your wife was pregnant.
Rachel: With twins.
Chandler: She's not pregnant!
Monica enters from her room with a pillow stuffed in her shirt.
Monica: Yes, I am!! (everyone turns to face her)
Chandler: Monica, what the hell are doing?
Monica: I'm gonna have our baby, sweetie.
Chandler: You need help. Or maybe I do. (walks out the door muttering to himself)
~~~~
Scene: Joey's. Joey is there watching TV when Phoebe comes in.
Phoebe: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Phoebe: Guess what?
Joey: (turns off the TV and turns around to face Phoebe) What?
Phoebe: David finished waht he was doing in Minsk, and he came back, and he surprised me at my apartment, and he proposed.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
Phoebe: So I told him no.
Joey: (perking up) Oh?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because.
Joey: Because why?
Phoebe: You're my lobster!!!
~~~~
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler's back. Monica is sitting on the couch with her arms crossed above the pillow in her shirt and a mad look on her face. Ross, Rachel, and Chandler are talking to her.
Chandler: You know, you don't always have to be the center of attention.
Rachel: Yeah, sweetie, that's not the most important thing in life.
Monica: Yeah? Well, then, what is?
Rachel: Um, Ross, you wanna take over?
Ross: Family. You know, you've got Courtney, and you've got Chandler. And me, and Ben and Rachel and Emma.
Rachel: Why was Ben before me?
Ross: What?
Rachel: Why'd you list Ben before you listed me?
Ross: Well, she's been related to Ben longer than she's been related to you.
Rachel: Yeah, but I've known her longer!
Chandler: Uh, hello? Focus! We've got an insane woman who thinks she's pregnant over her! (Monica clears her throat and gives him a look) I mean, we've got a beautiful woman who should definitely have more children, because she's soooo beautiful, she's just not pregnant yet.
Monica: Thank you. I wanna have another baby!
Courtney comes in.
Courtney: Hey.
Rachel: Hey, it's Courtney! Your daughter! Your actual, real life daughter! (gets up and hugs her)
Courtney: Uh, thanks, Aunt Rachel.
Ross: Hey, Courtney. Quick question. Do you happen to know where Emma is?
Courtney: Yeah, she's in your apartment. She's been looking for you guys for, like, a week. What are you guys doing over here?
Monica: They just are. Hey, what would you think about having a little brother or sister?
Courtney: (excited)Oh, my god, Mom, are you pregnant?
Monica: Yes, I am!
Chandler: No, Courtney, she's not. Right, Monica?
Monica: Fine, I'm not. But I wanna be!
Chandler: Okay, do you wanna try?
Monica: Oh, my god, YES!!
Chandler: Okay! (they start to run to their room) Hey, Ross, take Courtney over to your apartment, why don't you? Thanks!
The door to Monica and Chandler's room slams. Courtney and Rachel stand there with surprised looks on their faces. The look on Ross' face, however, is a look of disgust.
~~~~
Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are there. Phoebe and Joey enter.
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: So, guess what?
Ross, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Phoebe: Joey, you know!
Joey: I do? Oh, yeah!
Phoebe: Okay. Joey (pauses) proposed! (holds up her left hand)
Chandler: Oh, that's great!
Ross: Yeah, but are you sure it's his ring?
Joey: Dude, I knew you were so not good with that!
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just, I... (trails off. Everyone is staring at him) So you're engaged! Cool!!
Phoebe: I know!
~~~~
Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Rachel, Emma, and Courtney are knitting at the kitchen table. Emma is doing okay, Courtney and Monica are doing great, but Rachel's basically sucks.
Rachel: Okay, I cannot get this!
Monica: That's okay, you don't have to make any baby clothes!
Rachel: God, Monica, just drop it, okay?
Monica: Fine.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey come in. General 'Heys' are exchanged.
Phoebe: Guess what?
Rachel: What, what? I wanna know!
Ross: No, you don't.
Rachel: I do! I do! Tell me!!
Phoebe: Well, it has to do with two of those words.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, is it about me?
Phoebe: No! I do!
Monica: Oh, did David propose?
Joey: Yes. (under his breath) That bastard!
Phoebe: Joey! There are children present! (holds out her hand to indicate the children and points to Chandler and Ross)
Joey: Sorry.
Phoebe: Don't tell me, tell the children.
Joey: (to Ross and Chandler) Sorry, dudes.
Chandler: Hey, that's okay, man.
Phoebe: Okay, so like I was saying, Joey proposed!
Rachel: Yeah, are you sure? Are you sure it's even his ring?
Joey: (to Ross) Dude! I'm sorry!
Ross: Yeah, it's okay.
Monica: Hey, I get to be your maid of honor! Okay, we have a lot of planning to do.
Everyone gets an 'oh, my god, not again! The devil is back!' look on their face.
A/N: Okay, I think if I keep going, I can get it up to ten chapters, and then that's all I wrote.
