Author : Wild-Melody

Disclaimer : You know the drill, I don't own 'em, though most of the time I wish I did.

Class/Genre : Drama/Angst, maybe a little romance

Summary : Another songfic. I decided to give Jaina some breathing room on her discussions with Jag about her time with the Vong. In this chapter I look into a few peoples thoughts about Jaina since her return.

A/N : This song is by Lincoln Park…granted I couldn't understand most of the words so I could've screwed up half of the lyrics. If that is the case, just ignore my screw-ups and enjoy the story. What I could understand of the song I thought it was pretty fitting on what Jaina and a few others were feeling about her return. Enjoy and review!!

STAR WARS : THE NEW JEDI ORDER

I'LL BE MISSING YOU

Chapter 7 : Something About Yesterday

Jaina and Jag walked arm in arm into the conference room. All heads turned toward them, all eyes landed on them. The conversations and hushed whisperings ceased immediately. Jaina smiled brilliantly at all those staring at them, which pretty much was everybody. Her grip on Jag's arm tightened considerably.

Jag looked over at her and smiled, understanding flashed in his eyes. He put his free hand over top of hers on his arm and squeezed gently. He led her further into the conference room, smiling and nodding at various people as they passed them.

Jaina gazed around the small but comfortable room. Her eyes fell on her mother and father and she smiled at them. Leia smiled at her daughter and Han slightly inclined his head. Jaina's eyes continued to survey the gathered crowd. She smiled at her aunt and uncle. Luke and Mara returned the smile briefly then returned to whatever it had been that they were discussing. Her eyes slipped from them and clashed with green ones narrowed in-

What?

What exactly were they narrowed in? She couldn't really tell. She saw anger flash through their green depths swiftly. Then jealously followed by something she couldn't quite pinpoint. She stared briefly at Kyp then looked away quickly.

She moved closer to Jag, her body pressed up against his, both of her hands wrapped tightly around his arm. She drew strength from his confidence.

Jag led her over toward a couple of empty chairs at a table near where his Uncle Wedge was sitting, unaware of the turbulent roller coaster that Jaina's emotions were on. Wedge smiled up at them then returned to what he had been discussing with Tycho and Gavin.

Jag pulled out a chair and motioned for Jaina to sit down. She smiled up at him and sat down. Jag pushed the chair in then sat down at the chair next to her, never taking his eyes off of her. Underneath the table he took hold of her hand and squeezed it gently. She looked over at him again and smiled.

"Everyone's attention please!" Wedge called out, standing up at his table. "Your attention please."

For the second time since their arrival the whole room grew silent once more. All attention was turned toward Wedge as they waited for him to continue.

"You are all probably wondering why I've called this meeting, especially when all the debriefings haven't been completed yet." There were murmurs of agreement and nods of ascent to this. "We've had a few ideas for our next engagement against the Vong."

Wedge touched a computer consul on the table and a strange land vehicle appeared over the tabletop. He touched another button and another vehicle appeared next to the first one.

Jag stared curiously at the two contraptions, Jaina smiled and leaned over toward him. "The second is called a snowspeeder. Us 'Rebels' used them in defense of our base on Hoth, against you 'Imperials'." Jaina's smiled broadened at the look she received from Jag. "The first, I have no idea what that is."

Jag just looked at her.

"The second most of you may recognize as a snowspeeder. They were used in the Battle of Hoth during the evacuation of Echo Base." There were murmurs throughout the crowd. "The first is a variation of the snowspeeder. We've decided to call this an atmospheric speeder. An AO speeder for short.

"The AO speeder wasn't changed much from the snowspeeder. Velocity has been increased as well as maneuverability. Shields were also installed and the phased lasers were added too.

"Something new to throw at the Vong. Something they won't be expecting."

Wedge took in the whole of the crowd, then his eyes seemed to single out Jaina and the commander of Blackmoon Squadron. "The next skirmish will take place up in space, but we're going to allow them to think they're winning and bring the battle here to us, once more.

"There will be some major differences between this battle and the last one brought to the biotics building." His eyes left Jaina and the commander of the Blackmoon Squadron and surveyed the room again.

"They'll be expecting us to retreat, and they'll expect us to employ the 'Hammer' again, which we won't."

"No sense in using something they're going to be expecting," Tycho spoke up.

Wedge looked down at him and nodded. "Precisely, and that's why we're not going to use it again."

"So, what exactly are we going to do Wedge?" Luke asked.

Wedge turned his gaze to look at Luke. "We're going to do something the Vong aren't expecting us to do."

He had everyone's attention, "In the next battle, both Rogue and Wild Knights Squadrons will engage the enemy up in space. Twin Suns, back under Jaina's command, and Blackmoon Squadron will wait down here, in the AO speeders in the forests, to see what the Vong may try to throw at us."

Jaina looked over at Jag and found that he too was looking at her. He wore the same look of surprise that she did. She didn't know if she was really ready to take back command of the squadron yet, but it looked like Wedge thought she was. Wedge was saying something else as she leaned over toward Jag and whispered in his ear, "Sure you can handle being planet side and out of the thick of the fight for that long Flyboy?" Her breath was warm against his ear.

He just smiled over at her, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "With you as Lead, I'm sure I can handle it Great One." The laughter was apparent in his voice, but the tone wasn't mocking.

"I'm sure you can," she said and her smile grew brighter. She gently squeezed as her grip on his hand tightened and she softly touched her shoulder to his and laid her head upon it.

Jag smiled and even though he knew that the whole room had to be watching them by now, he gently kissed her head.

Jaina sensed someone staring at them, staring hard at them and chose to ignore it. She knew without looking who it would be, and she didn't want to have to deal with Kyp right now. Not when her heart was feeling as free as it was. She hadn't felt this way in quite a while and she wanted to savor it, and she had Jag to thank for it.

She raised her head and looked up at him. Jaina found herself staring into his pale green eyes and smiled. Then she leaned over and put her lips gently against his cheek and kissed him.

They heard a cough come from the front of the room and they both turned to regard Wedge. "Well then, if the two of you are done with the public display of affection, we can get back to this meeting." The laughter was apparent in both his eyes and voice and just below his stern exterior.

Jag blushed and looked down at the table top before him. Jaina felt like melting into her chair. "Sorry sir," they both said at the same time.

"All right," Wedge said, calling attention back to himself. "While the X-Wings and other starfighters deal with the frigate analogs, coralskippers and other Vong space craft, the AO Speeders will lie in wait to see if the Vong commander will attempt to insert a few of their granges and other organic mechanisms on the planet.

"Rogue and Wild Knight Squadrons will allow the enemy to break through our barriers. Allow them to punch through in a couple of areas so they don't think we're setting them up. Try to minimize friendly losses and maximize enemy losses.

"Twin Suns and Blackmoon Squadrons, you're going to try a herd and entrapment maneuver on their ground forces." He pushed a button on the tabletop to his right and the holoimages of the AO speeder and the snowspeeder disappeared and was replaced by a map of the biotics building and its surroundings. Various areas were marked on the map, four areas that if connected by diagonal lines would form a perfect diamond. At the center of the diamond was the biotics building.

"We've installed laser towers at various points on the roof of the building. You will lure them here as last time, but unlike last time they will have our ships, the Star Destroyers mainly, locked in combat, so they will not see the threat till it is to late."

"We will not be able to use this tactic again." Jaina spoke up.

Wedge smiled at her, "That is true Lt. Solo, but if it works we will be able to use deviations of it."

Wedge turned to regard the rest of the room. "You're dismissed while we sort through all the tactical data for this next battle and run simulations on it." Wedge then turned from the rest of the room and began discussions with Tycho and Gavin.

******

Jag stood up and turned to look at Jaina, he bowed respectfully from the waist and offered her his hand. She smiled up at him and placed her hand into his. He pulled her up to her feet and touched his lips softly to the tip of her nose. "Shall we go?" he asked.

She nodded her head but said nothing. Jag led her toward where her parents were now talking with her aunt and uncle. Leia smiled at them as they approached. Jaina returned the smile then turned her eyes up to face Jag. "Do you mind if we stop and talk for a second?" She asked.

"Not at all," Jag answered. He directed them over to where Leia and Han were standing with Luke and Mara. Mara turned to face her niece, a smile spreading across her face. Ben was nowhere to be seen.

"He's taking a nap," Mara said, as if she had read Jaina's mind, which she possibly could have. "C3PO is watching him for the moment, so we can't stay to long."

Jaina nodded her head then turned her attention to her uncle. Luke was already looking at her.

"You have a question Jaina?" he asked.

"I hate when you do that!" she exclaimed as a slight tinge of red colored her cheeks. Jag looked at her curiously, Jaina refused to meet his gaze. "But yes, I do have a question, Master Skywalker."

"What is it Jaina?"

"Did you know that General Antilles was going to put me back on active duty?"

"Yes," was all Luke said.

Jaina just looked at her uncle. Her attention then shifted to Jag, and the poor Colonel couldn't help but feel like he had just missed something being said without it even being said. Did that even make sense? He wondered dimly.

"Are you ready Colonel Fel?" Jaina asked, looking at Jag pointedly.

Jag's eyes came back into focus and he looked quizzically at Jaina. "Yes, Lieutenant." He answered. She placed her hand on his arm once more and they began to walk out of the conference room. "What are your plans for the rest of the night then, Jaina?" he asked, unsure of exactly what had occurred within the conference room. He'd missed something, and he wasn't quite certain what. Must have been a Jedi thing, or something. He thought to himself as they walked out of the conference room and into the hallway.

"I'm not certain," she answered. She still feared being left alone, but she couldn't very likely ask him to stay with her yet again. If she wasn't in her quarters with him then she could usually be found in his quarters with him, and if she wasn't with Jag, she could usually be found with one of the other Jedi found planeside at the moment. She was always with someone, never alone.

They walked on in silence.

Outside of Jaina's quarters, Jag looked deeply into her terror-stricken brown eyes. He wanted to stay with her, but she had to ask. He would not invite himself to spend the night with her. He kissed her gently on the forehead and pulled her close to his body. He could feel her body trembling and he longed to sooth her fears, but knew nothing he could say would ease what terrified her mind and spirit.

His lips traveled down her face to her own and they lingered there. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck as his went around her waist, drawing her body even closer. He drew his breath in as he ended the kiss, "I have to get going Jaina, and you need to get some rest." He said, his warm breath fanning across her cheek.

"I know," she said against his lips.

"Goodnight," he said. He kissed her one last time then was gone.

She looked down the way he had gone, but he was completely lost to sight. How in the hell does he move so fast? She wondered to herself. Smiling, she turned and entered her quarters.

Jaina decided to get some sleep before things started to heat up and the Vong attack. She still couldn't believe that Wedge had put her back on active duty without even consulting her. But if he felt she was ready to go into battle again, who was she to argue?

Stripping out of her daily routine cloths, the typical fighter pilot's gear, she slipped into something a lot more comfortable. For sleep at least. Baggy pants with a tank top usually served her for sleep, and this night would be no different. She slipped the black sweatpants on, then pulled the old gray tank top on, and sighed as she crawled onto the bed.

She pulled the covers up to her chin, snuggled down into the bed and sighed contentedly as the sweet oblivion of sleep claimed her.

She turned in her sleep, a frown crossing her otherwise peaceful expression. The dreams started once more.

I woke up in a dream today

Turning cold and decided to put my cold feet on the floor

Forgot something about yesterday

Remembering?

I'm pretending to be who I'm not anymore

She woke up, clutching at her chest, her breath coming in short, shallow gasps. Her mind worked backwards, trying to recall the dream, anything at all about the dream.

But she couldn't remember it.

It was just shades of gray and black, nothing discernable. Nothing she could readily recognize. Though something stared out from the shadows at her. Something dark and sinister, darkness rolling off of it in waves. Two bright red eyes stared out at her, their depths burning with an intense fire. Rage boiled to the surface, and anger burned just beneath.

The room grew cold and she could actually see her breath crystallizing in front of her. Her teeth began to chatter as she felt a ghostly presence go through her. "Jag!" she screamed.

She didn't know who the presence was, but she knew it wasn't Anakin nor was it her Force bond with Jacen. It had felt evil and sinister. Red eyes blazed at her.

She shivered and cried out as she felt the presence come back, but the eyes did not move, they stayed in the corner. It was almost like the creature was reaching for her through the Force. Jaina grabbed her comlink from off of the nightstand and thumbed it to life. "Jag!" she called into it.

A few moments later his voice came back over it, slightly groggy. "Jaina?" he sounded just a little confused too.

"Yes Jag, can you come over? Please?"

"Give me just a second," he said and cut the connection before she could say anything.

The red eyes blazed. They blinked and then focused on her and Jaina realized that they weren't in her dream…they were in the room with her. She screamed as the animal lunged for her, it's jaws dripping saliva.

******

Jag had just fallen asleep, unable to get images of Jaina out of his mind. She even invaded his dreams, he couldn't get away from her no matter what. He had to wonder if he was as much of a plague to her as she was to him.

Sleep suddenly claimed him and visions of her greeted him just as quickly. That first actual meeting at Ithor, when he had discovered that she was also a Jedi. That had intrigued him.

Then images of their first kiss appeared, and the subsequent kisses afterwards. He'd grown to love her, he wasn't quite certain when that had happened. The first time he had met her perhaps? Or on Hapes? Perhaps when he had first kissed her? No, he had loved her before that-

Then his comlink began to beep and he groaned as he forced himself to wakefulness. Jag looked over at the chrono on his nightstand and double blinked his eyes. It was still quite a few hours till dawn. Surely the Yuuzhan Vong wouldn't attack this early? It would be just like them to do something like this.

"Jag!" He heard her voice call out.

"Jaina?" He asked groggily as he reached for the comlink and thumbed it to life.

"Yes Jag, can you come over? Please?" Her voice sounded panicked.

"Give me just a second," he said and cut the connection before she could say anything. He glanced around his room and found his uniform, something told him he would need a weapon of some sort. Something was not right, that much he knew.

If it had been one of her typical nightmares, she would have just come over, she wouldn't have comlinked him. The fact that she didn't do that and the fear in her voice told him that something just wasn't right in her quarters. That being the case he didn't want to rush in there without having some form of protection. You could never tell with Jedi and he preferred not to have his head or any other part of his body taken off by a wayward lightsaber.

Just what could be happening that a fully trained Jedi Knight would feel the need to call on someone who isn't Force sensitive? Jag didn't know the answer to the question, but he knew he would be getting the answer soon enough.

Dressing quickly, he dashed into the hallway and hurried down the corridor to her quarters. The door didn't budge as he approached so he began to pound on it. That resulted in nothing happening other than his hands becoming bruised. He knew if he fired his blaster at the door it would result in the security system going off and every alarm within the building sounding.

What was more important? Setting off the alarms and waking everyone within the biotics building or finding out what was wrong with Jaina? It didn't take a genius to figure out the answer to the equation. Jaina was more important to him at the moment. He knew he would be in trouble once everything was said and done, but at least he would know Jaina was safe. He hoped.

He fired a couple of blasts at the door then at the security mechanism, and just as he had figured, the claxons began to sound. Their loud blaring echoed through the corridors, drowning out all other sounds. But he heard one sound, even above the loud shrilling of the claxons. He heard Jaina scream.

He forced the door open, not caring if something was in there attacking her or not. The only thing that he knew was that she needed him right now. He ran back toward her bedroom, the room was shrouded in darkness. He quickly called for lights, but they didn't obey.

Fiery red eyes turned toward him and Jag stopped dead in his tracks. The creature snarled at him, saliva dripping from its bared teeth. Whiskey brown flashed amongst the angry red of the demon eyes. Jag realized something suddenly, he could see through the creature. It wasn't really there.

It was humanoid in shape but hunched over. Hair, the same shade of brown as Jaina's was down to what could only be called its shoulders. It had the appearance of a caged animal in the midst of panicking and Jag feared that in such a state it might attempt to tear Jaina to pieces. But it's not really here, Jag had to keep reminding himself.

Jag turned his attention to Jaina. She was huddled on the bed, her head held between her arms, chin down to chest. Her knees were pulled up so that her chin rested against them. Tears trailed down her face, but she made no sound.

Jag walked over toward her, ignoring the creature that was snapping and snarling at him. It stayed in the corner, as if kept at bay by the fact that he knew that it wasn't real.

He crawled onto the bed next to her and cradled her into his arms. "Jaina?" he said softly. She shuddered. "Jaina, it's all right. It's just me, you have nothing to fear." She made no move to look up at him, but her hands did grab hold of his shirt, as if it were a lifeline.

Jag looked over at the feral creature. "Jaina, what exactly is that thing?" He asked. The creature eyed him wearily and snapped its jaws shut quickly, teeth clicking together. Jag reverted his attention back to Jaina, but he could still feel the creature's intense fiery red gaze upon him.

Her eyes finally looked up at him and what he saw in them made him pause. "What I condemned Jacen to become." She answered, her voice barely discernable.

A little taste of hypocrisy

And I'm left in the wake of the mistakes slow to react

And even though you're so close to me

You're still so distant

And I can't bring you back

Jag looked down at her, but she was no longer looking up at him. Her eyes were now riveted on the creature in the corner. It was staring at her, it's teeth bared. "Jacen…" she said softly. The creature growled at the sound of her voice and lunged. An unseen barrier held it at bay. It turned in a lazy circle, never once taking its eyes away from her.

Jag felt the room grow cold. The creature, no Jacen, stood still in the corner, his eyes closed shut in concentration. Jag looked down at Jaina and found that her eyes were riveted on her twin brother.

"What do you mean you condemned him to become? That can't be Jacen…" The creature looked at them curiously at the mention of its name. It was as if it were trying to remember something that was just out of reach.

"I condemned him to become that thing." Jaina said softly.

Jacen growled again, as if Jaina's very voice were a catalyst.

"How is he here?" Jag asked, not fully understanding what was going on.

"It's part of our Force bond…I'm not entirely sure how he's here. Or how this image is being projected of him…I must be doing it somehow, I just haven't figured out how. Or else its an image he's sending to me…I don't know. Nothing like this has ever happened before."

Jacen growled and snarled, as if Jaina's voice were offensive to him. "Jacen?" she said softly and let go of Jag. She reached a hand out to him, as if she were going to try and touch and him. Jacen snarled and lunged, Jaina didn't recoil this time, and Jag watched in dismay as the creature that was Jaina's twin brother broke through the barrier that separated him from his sister.

Jaina rolled to the side and pushed Jag off of the bed. Jacen landed moments later where the two had just been. He crouched there and regarded the two with wary eyes.

Jag heard a noise from outside in the living quarters. He saw Luke Skywalker peek his head into the bedroom then quickly duck back out. He looked over at Jaina and saw a frown cross her face. At the same time he saw one cross Jacen's primitive looks. Then suddenly Jacen was gone, as if he had never been there to begin with.

Jag looked curiously at Jaina and felt a darkness start to swirl around in the room. At first he thought Jacen was coming back until he realized that what he was feeling was coming from Jaina. Had this strange encounter with her brother pushed her over the edge once more?

Would he be the one to pull her back this time by their love, or would Kyp be the one once more? Kyp was the one who had been through what Jaina was going through, he understood more than most what she was feeling. He'd helped her through her first time dealing with the Darkside, and had managed to bring her back. This time, if it was going to happen again, Jag hoped he'd be the one to bring her back.

******

He closed his eyes as the pain became too much and it exploded in his head. How could they possibly keep torturing him this way? How was it possible that he was still alive after all this time? Jaina had escaped, somehow she had managed to get away from this horrible place. She had tried to take him with her, but in order for one of them to get away the other needed to sacrifice themselves. He had chosen to sacrifice himself…only thing was the Vong had changed his plans for him.

Jaina…

His twin sister Jaina.

The mere thought of her brought him such pain. It echoed through his head, threatening to tear his insides apart. Jaina. White-hot searing pain lanced through him. It took his breath away and stole his breath. Jaina. He doubled over in pain until any recollection of her and what she stood for was pushed to the furthest recesses of his mind.

Only then did the pain start to recede.

He tried to remember. He wasn't allowed. The pain wouldn't let him.

He shoved all parts of his past life to the back of his mind and focused on what he was to become. He knew he had a twin sister, he was destined to be part of a sacred sacrifice, but his sister had turned out to be a coward and had run from her sacred duty. The Warmaster had told him this much. They were searching for her even now, except for she had taken refuge with the infidels…

The infidels…

Something about that didn't ring true. Something wasn't right and he couldn't put his finger on it. He tried to pull memories up, memories that he hadn't used in what seemed like years. The pain came back. He cried out in pain and slammed his head off of the living walls of his prison. The guards came in and restrained him, as if they were use to him acting in this manner.

"He has no regard for the truly sacred embrace of pain," one of the guards said as they picked his limp form up off of the floor.

"He can withstand the embrace of pain more than most infidels that I have come in contact with." The other guard said.

"He is Jeedai," the first guard said, as if this were all the answer they should need.

"You speak heresy," the second guard said.

"I speak the truth," the first guard replied. "He awaits the sacrifice of twins. He is no ordinary infidel."

"Again you speak heresy. The Warmaster would not be pleased to hear such things."

"Then we shall quit speaking of them," the first guard said. The two fell silent and carried the apparent unconscious 'infidel' to another living holding cell.

"Have they found the other Jeedai Solo?" the second guard questioned.

"Near. The Warmaster is not pleased." His tone became low, in a conspiratal tone. "Some are saying that the gods are with the infidels."

"Heresy again," the other guard said.

Their grip on Jacen slackened as their voices escalated in pitch. An argument was close to starting and Jacen could sense it in the sound of their voices. He bided his time and waited for an opportunity to present itself.

"You speak heresy yourself," the first guard was saying.

"I have done no such thing," the second guard responded, but something in his eyes told the first guard that his accusations were correct.

"If that were true you would be going to the Warmaster right now and telling him of our conversation." The first guard said. "You know the penalty of heresy as much as I do."

"I do," the second guard was saying, his grip on Jacen the loosest it had been yet. Still Jacen did not take the opportunity. Something just didn't feel right about it.

"He is not as smart as the Warmaster credits him to be," the first guard said.

"Why do you say that?"

"He should have attempted something by now. All of the other captive Jeedai have always tried to escape or die in battle by now. This one just remains limp, as if he truly were in an unconscious state."

"Perhaps he really is then," the second guard said.

"I do not believe it. He plays a child's game with us."

"I think you credit him with to much. He was once known as the cowardly Jeedai. He refused to fight while the rest of his brethren were dieing in battle. He was not deemed worthy until it was found out he was a twin and a group of the young Jeedai made an unsuccessful strike at the Warmaster's worldship. He then sacrificed his life so that his twin could escape…only his younger brother was killed then too. His sister was later caught only to escape with his help."

"You do not have the whole story complete."

"It does not matter, I know the basis of what happened, that's all that matters."

"If you say so," the second guard said, growing weary of their discussion and just wishing that the young Jeedai would try something.

"I think he is asleep," the first guard said.

The second guard looked down and felt an unusual feeling flood his being. It was strange…relief? Relief that the Jeedai had fallen sleep and they would not have to worry about battling him? Was it even possible? The Yuuzhan Vong lived for battle, to feel relief that battle had been diverted…it was unthinkable.

"He is not worthy," the first guard said.

"NOT WORTHY?!" Jacen screamed as he launched himself to his feet. The two guards were startled, just as he had planned. It didn't take them long to recover from the shock though. Jacen grabbed the nearest guard by the back of his neck and threw him as hard as he could into the other guard. They collided with bone jarring force but remained standing.

"You can not defeat us," the one guard spoke up.

"Maybe not, but I'll take one of you with me when I go down." Jacen responded.

"He is shedding his conditioning," the other guard said.

"There is still a great deal that the Shapers have to learn of these Jeedai," the first guard said.

"The girl was easier to condition," the second guard said.

"You know this how?" The first guard asked.

"I have my ways," the second guard responded. Indeed he did, there was much about him that his companion did not know. Much that if he did learn would most certainly earn him a quick and extremely quiet death. "Just subdue this infidel before he causes anymore damage," he ordered.

The first guard brought his snake-like staff up and around and it connected with the back of Jacen's head. Jacen had been to concerned with the second guard that he had lost sight of the first one, that was his first mistake, and his last.

Darkness claimed him, thick like a blanket. He felt like he was floating, submerged within the warmth of an ocean, the waters gently pulling and swaying him. He wanted to stay like that forever, not feeling anything. Total peace and oblivion.

Then a bright light invaded his vision and he could almost see through the murky depths of the ocean. The light filtered through, extremely fuzzy like, but he could make the distorted image of a young woman floating within the silent depths with him.

Her hair was just below her shoulders and an extremely dark brown. It billowed our around her head, swaying within the ebbing waters. A radiant white light silhouetted her figure, but somehow he was still able to make our her face and features. Whiskey brown eyes stared back at him, eyes so much like his it was like staring into a mirror.

Recognition shone in her eyes and a smile graced her lips. A promise of family and love radiated from her, a promise of peace and an end to pain. Her voice was like a gentle breeze on his weary soul. Jacen? He recognized her voice…it was something from his past, something he wasn't allowed to remember. But he needed to remember it, had to remember it. There was something vitally important about who this girl was.

Jaina…?

The pain came back, blinding in its intensity.

Yes, her voice confirmed.

I know you…but how? Who are you?

Jaina Solo. I'm your twin sister Jacen, you have to remember me.

It's true

The way I feel

What is promised by your face

The sound of your voice

Taking up my memories

Even if you're not with me

Everything

You, now I see

Keeping everything inside

You, now I see

Even when I close my eyes

Jaina Solo? That name sounds so familiar…the pain increased. He thought he was going to pass out from it. The world began to dim once more and the water became murky again. Her face appeared before him and she smiled up at him.

Her voice echoed through him mind, and as he closed his eyes, trying to will away the pain, her face showed up against his closed eyelids. Her voice was soft and pleading as she spoke within his mind.

Don't worry, we'll get you back somehow. I'm sorry I condemned you to this. If I had known this is what would happen, I would have stayed myself.

No, Jag needed you…he stopped in mid-thought. Who is Jag? The name had popped in his head and he had no idea who the person was. She did though, and it was someone very dear to her, someone she cared about greatly. The Shapers would get this information from him and use it against her. His body shuddered as this thought worked its way through his mind.

You'll find out my brother dearest, she answered.

He closed his eyes…or were they already closed? He didn't even know, he wasn't even sure if he was awake or unconscious. He'd fought against someone, he could recall that much…but not much more. His memory wasn't his own anymore. He wasn't even sure half of the time what part of his memory was his own or manufactured by the infidels…or was it the Yuuzhan Vong? He wasn't sure most of the time of who he was…Jacen Solo or some Yuuzhan Vong named Jyliuas Carr. Silent oblivion claimed his as he questioned his identity for what probably was the thousandth time.

******

He wasn't quite certain what his feelings were on her return. Of coarse he was happy that she was back, but she was back and she was with Jag. He wasn't really sure what he felt for her…love? No, he really didn't think so. Then again, he had never been in love before so he couldn't be sure what it felt like. Gratitude? Possibly, he was grateful for all that her father had done for him. It was possible that he was transferring that gratitude to her instead of her father. Please the daughter and please the father, right? Kyp wasn't too sure about that, but there was a certain logic behind the thinking.

Lust? Maybe, he did find her attractive. Very attractive, but he knew that her interests lay elsewhere, with someone else.

Kyp wasn't certain about anything, not at that moment in time at least. They had been growing closer since her dangerous trip to the Darkside, but once she had rebounded from that dangerous detour, it was Jag she found herself with. She had kept herself distanced from Kyp and spent a lot of time with the Chiss raised pilot.

Did he feel jealousy?

He wasn't even certain of the answer to that question. He knew he experienced a sense of anger when he would see the two of them together, which seemed to be most of the time. He'd felt tremors in the Force, usually from Jaina after experiencing one of her many nightmares, and it was always Jag that she went in search of for comfort.

But he had been the one to help her back from her trials with the Darkside…he'd been the one to stand beside her when the rest of the universe had wanted to turn its back. It was him, not Jag, who had supported her during her moment of weakness…but then again she had been pushing everyone away. It was only during a lightsaber duel that he had managed to get through to her, somewhat…

…He'd stopped dead at the click and hum unique to the traditional JedI weapon. He'd slowly turned to face her, hands raised in a placating gesture. "I don't want to fight you," he'd told Jaina.

Her only answer had been to raise her violet blade up toward his throat. "You'd change your mind if the stakes were high enough," she'd barely snarled. Her sense was turbulent and he knew it was bad if he was sensing that through the barriers and shields she had put up around herself.

"Don't be ridiculous. You wouldn't kill me even if you could," he'd responded, trying to talk some sort of sense into her.

"The idea isn't without certain appeal, but it's not what I had in mind. If I win, you fly the rest of this battle under my command. If you win, I'm yours. No more holding out, no more games. I'll keep the channels open, act like a real apprentice." She had no idea how those words had effected him…no idea how he had wished to hear those words from her, but with a different meaning behind them. I'm yours…the words still echoed in his mind, even after all this time. And they still had the same effect on him.

He had just looked at her for a split second, weighing her words. "Done." He finally said.

His lightsaber leapt from his belt, flipped in midair, and slapped down into his hand. The glowing blade hissed toward her. Jaina had vaulted above his attack and flipped up over his head. He'd rolled aside to avoid any possible slashing counter and came up in a crouch.

Jaina had backed down the stairs, her eyes never wavering from him. Her weapon held up at high guard. He'd advanced, then darted forward with a quick feinting lunge.

She had anticipated his move and leaned away from it, then quickly changed directions and lunged for him, her are sweeping up into a rising parry that threw his lightsaber out wide. Her wrist twisted deftly to disengage the shining and spitting blades, and then she leapt straight up.

He'd somersaulted down the stairs, turned and came up with his lightsaber held high and ready. He looked for her and watched as she dropped to the floor beside him and delivered two quick testing jabs. He'd parried both. They drew apart and circled one another. Jaina eyed him as he watched her wearily, watching for any sign as to what her next move might be. The exchanging of blows became less tentative with each strike.

Jaina's confident and cocky smile began to falter with each passing second. "I'm not going to let you stop this next flight," she had said coldly and he wondered dimly if she had said it in an attempt to throw off his concentration.

She whirled away from his high, slashing attack and caught his weapon in an overhead parry. A quick twist brought her around to face him. He disengaged and stepped back. "Who said I wanted to stop the mission? I want to fly it."

She had blinked, surprise quickly flitting across her face. His comment had had the desired effect on her. "You do?" She had asked.

"If the mission is that important, I'll go myself."

"Forget it. The JedI are to few and too valuable to risk." He could sense her thoughts returning to the fates of her two brothers and the guilt she still carried around about their deaths. He couldn't make her understand that it wasn't her fault, no one could.

"I know," he'd agreed, "and that's precisely why I need to go."

She had stepped back, still in guard position as if she were expecting this to be some sort of trick. She eyed him wearily.

"Let's just say I'm taking my responsibilities seriously. I don't want my apprentice to make some of the same mistakes I made."

Her lightsaber had flashed forward, forcing him to parry. "What apprentice? You haven't beaten me yet." She said coldly, her eyes flashing.

"I will," he had replied with a cocky smile. "And we both know it. We also know how difficult expectations can be. You've got to live up to you famous parents, which in some ways is even more difficult than living down a monumental failure."

Anger swept off of her in waves, "You can't compare our situations."

"We both lost brothers."

"And maybe hitting the Yuuzhan Vong hard will give some meaning to my brothers' deaths." She replied between gritted teeth.

"I tried to avenge my brother," Kyp had reminded her. "And I ended up killing him. Your mother thinks Jacen's still alive. What if she's right?"

Jaina lowered her lightsaber and her face was a study of stunned fury. Kyp expected all hell to break loose any moment. He shifted is weight to the balls of his feet, gaining balance in preparation for the attack he knew was to come.

But Jaina had surprised him when she suddenly switcher her weapon off. "You want the mission? Take it. But you'd better survive it. We're not finished here. Not by a long shot."

Then she had stormed out of the docking bay, leaving him staring thoughtfully after her. From the corner of his eye he caught sight of Jag suddenly racing off after her…

I hit you and you hit me back

We fall to the floor

The rest of the day stands still

Fine line between this and that

When things go wrong

I pretend that the past isn't real

I'm trapped in this memory

I'm left in the wake of the mistakes slow to react

He still wasn't sure…was still so confused. But it didn't matter anyhow. She had made her choice and he wasn't her choice. He really didn't have anything against Jagged Fel…far from it. He respected the young colonel. Both as a person and as a pilot. There were not many that could out fly the young man…then again there weren't many that would be able to out fly Jaina once she was at her peek. She would make one hell of a pilot one day.

Kyp sighed to himself and decide it was time to contemplate other things besides Jaina Solo. Why dwell on things you can't have after all? There was no use in it and it was a waste of energy. And right now they couldn't afford to waste any form of energy. Not with the Vong lurking out there somewhere.

******

Jag looked down at the sleeping beauty in his arms, she was finally asleep. And it was a peaceful sleep. She sighed then turned in his arms. Her head was resting upon his lap, his back was leaning up against the headboard of his bed. He looked around his quarters, contemplating how she had once more came to be sleeping in his room. Not that he was complaining.

He had pretty much decimated the door to her quarters and it wouldn't be able to be fixed till later that day. Of coarse her parents had wanted her to come and stay with them for the remainder of the night/early morning. Jaina had declined the invitation, so then her Uncle Luke had offered for her to stay with him and Mara. Mara had said she had a better idea.

Why don't she stay with Jag?

The calmness behind her voice had shocked him, but her suggestion had floored everyone there. Han had started to stutter, his face turning an interesting shade of red. Leia had been shocked speechless and Luke just looked at his wife as if a thought had just occurred to him. Mara had just smiled innocently.

"I'm sure the colonel wouldn't mind," she had said. "After all, it isn't exactly a secret that they're seeing each other or anything." She had said it so matter of a factly, and it suddenly occurred to Jag that she was right. They weren't hiding their relationship or anything, but still to have her actually sleeping in his quarters? And not because she had come over due to a nightmare, would he be able to handle that?

"If I become a grandfather to soon, there is going to be hell to pay!" Han had said, his steely gaze leveling on Jaina and Jag.

Luke and Mara had erupted into laughter at the stunned expressions that Jaina and Jag suddenly wore. "Sir…I really…I mean…" Jag had started to sputter, at a loss for words.

"Dad, really! Not everyone is like you." Han turned to look his daughter straight in the eyes.

"And what do you mean by that young lady?" Han said quietly.

"Nothing really," she said quickly, realizing she had inadvertently stepped over one of the elusive lines that everyone talks about. The vapin things keep movin!

"I think it's a good idea," Leia suddenly spoke up and Jaina gave her a grateful smile.

"What? Having grandkids suddenly?" Han asked, turning his hot-tempered look on his wife.

"No, not that. Least, not yet anyhow." She smiled patiently at her husband. "No, I think Jaina staying with Jag would be a good idea. I don't know who I would trust most with my daughter's life other than him."

"Fine, it's settled then," Jaina spoke up, quickly putting an end to the discussion.

"This isn't settled by a long shot," Han said. Jaina just smiled at him and grabbed Jag's hand as she literally drug him from her family, silently thanking her Aunt Mara for the idea.

Jaina sighed in her sleep and Jag returned his attention back down to her. She burrowed further down into his embrace, her face nestling against his stomach as one of her arms snaked its way behind his back. He gently laid a hand on her head and softly stroked her hair. A smile graced her face and her other hand came up to grip his. "I thought you were asleep," he said down to her.

"Almost," she replied then sat up so that she was facing him.

A rush of cold air came in to claim where her warm body had been only moments before. His body straightened up as he regarded her. "You all right?" he asked.

"Honestly?" He nodded his head. "No," she answered.

He just looked at her, knowing that if she wanted to talk about it, she would. She sighed then crawled further up on the bed so that she was sitting next to him. She settled down next to him and leaned her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her and pulled her even closer. "Jag, I'm just scared…I mean, you seen him." Her voice dropped off.

He just nodded his head.

"Is that what they were going to try and do to me? Were they going to try and turn me into something like that too?"

"Don't think about it." Jag said.

"How can I not?" She said shrilly. "That was my own brother…that thing is my twin Jag!" The tears started to flow down her cheeks once more and Jag gathered her into his arms and held her close to his heart. "What if we can't undo what they've done to him? What if we've truly lost him? How can I live with that?"

"Jaina, it's not your fault."

"It is! I condemned him to become that thing. If I hadn't escaped or if I had taken him with me this may have never even happened."

"Then you both might be dead, or worse. You both could be that thing." Jag kissed the top of her head. "I don't want to loose you Jaina. You mean to much to me."

"Jag?"

He looked down at her, "Yes?"

Her lips came up to meet his and he was kissing her like there would be no tomorrow. Her arms came up to wrap themselves around his neck. "I love you," she said softly against his lips.

"And I love you." He responded. Then his lips descended down upon hers once more and all coherent thought flew out the door like an X-Wing taking flight. A warmth engulfed them and it felt like a thousand suns suddenly going nova.

So even though you're close to me

You're still so distant

And I can't bring you back

It's true

The way I feel

What is promised by your face

The sound of your voice

Taking up my memories

Even if you're not with me

Everything

You, now I see

Keeping everything inside

You, now I see

Even when I close my eyes

Jaina looked over at Jag, he was asleep. He was curled around her, his arm thrown over her waist. His face was buried in her hair and he pulled her closer as he felt her stir. He nuzzled her neck and kissed her gently. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." she said.

"Alright, I'm a light sleeper." He responded.

"I know," she laughed.

He just smiled. "So, how you feeling?"

"Better," she said.

"Good." He propped his head up on his hand and smiled down at her. She was so beautiful, even with her hair all messed up. Her skin had a certain glow to it that never ceased to amaze him. He loved her more than he had ever thought possible and that love grew with each passing day. He didn't know what he would do without her.

"Credit for your thoughts," she said as she smiled up at him.

"Just thinking how beautiful you are," he answered and surprised her with his straightforward answer. Hell, he even surprised himself. It amazed him at how she drew him out like no one else had ever been able too.

"Thank you," she said, feeling just a little bashful. She wasn't use to someone complimenting her. She had never really thought about her looks.

A frown creased her forehead as her face took on a look of total concentration.

"Jaina, are you alright?" Jag asked.

No matter how far we've come

I can't wait to see tomorrow

No matter how far we've come

I can't wait to see tomorrow

It flashed before her eyes, brilliant and never-ending. Light twisting in all directions and no direction all at once. Images coalesced then exploded. She saw pictures of her family, her mother and father, her brother Jacen, her aunt and uncle and her little cousin Ben.

It was like waves upon the ocean, cresting and ebbing. She could momentarily focus on one picture only to have it disappear beneath the surface and be replaced by another. She saw the end of the war…the return of her brother Jacen. The birth of a child…whose child was it anyway?

She saw grief and sadness…hope and gladness. Anger and despair, they were there too.

Then something materialized before her eyes that made her hold her breath and bite back the scream that she knew was forthcoming. Her heart broke into a thousand pieces as she witnessed the grief that would be inflicted upon the galaxy…

Jaina opened her eyes and stared up at Jag. Worry was written across his face. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest and allowed the tears to flow.

Late A/N : Oh, if there seem to be some gaps here or there with what's happening, I was writing this chapter in parts and was skipping from one part to another as the ideas came so I may have missed something here or there and if so, I apologize for it. Just let me know and I'll try to explain the missing piece or pieces later on. But I don't think I missed anything, I was trying to be pretty consistent with things.

Hmmm…do I have you wondering what she saw? You'll have to wait till the next chapter to see if I spill the beans or not. As always, read and review. This was a pretty long chapter and I'm not sure if they'll all be this way or not. If so, it may be sometime in between updates. These long ones take forever to write. May the Force protect you.