Title: The One With The Flashforward
Chapter 10

This is it! The end!! I've even included a tag! I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have. If you have, review!!! It's fun!! Just like this story!!!!

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Scene: Central Perk. The gang is there.

Ross: So, Phoebe, you excited?

Phoebe: 'Bout what?

Rachel: Um, your wedding, sweetie.

Phoebe: Oh, oh, hell yeah!

Monica: That's great, Pheebs.

Chandler: What about you, Joe?

Joey: Oh, yeah. Maybe not hell yeah!

Monica: Joey, you a little nervous?

Joey: (nervously) No. I mean, yeah.

Phoebe: (yells) What?

Joey: It's not cause I don't want to marry you, Pheebs, I do. It's just, I dunno, a big step.

Phoebe: Yeah, but everyone else is married.

Rachel: Is that why you're getting married?

Phoebe: No, that's not all of it. I want to marry Joey cause he's sweet, and funny, and hot, and, you know, I just love him.

Joey: Awwww! I love you too, Pheebs!

Joey and Phoebe hug, and then they start making out. Everyone else looks uncomfortable and then leaves.

~~~~

Scene: Phoebe's. Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is showing off her dress.

Phoebe: And then there's lace here, and then there's sequins here, and if you look underneath (flips dress over) there's all these blue peace signs.

Rachel: Cool!

Phoebe: I know, aren't they? Yeah, so now all I need is something old and borrowed.

Rachel: I thought you were gonna use your mom's pearls.

Phoebe: Well, yeah, I thought about that, but I don't know, cause her marraige fell apart, and then she killed herself, and there's just, like, a bad vibe coming from them.

Monica: Aren't they your birth mom's?

Phoebe: Oh, those! Oh, yeah, that'll work.

Monica: So, Phoebe, you doing anything tomorrow?

Phoebe: No, not really.

Rachel: Are you sure?

Phoebe: Well, let's see. Today's Friday, tomorrow's Saturday, wedding's not till next Saturday. No, nothing.

Monica: Well, we're throwing you a party!

Phoebe: Really? Yay! Oh, who's going to be there?

Rachel: Well, it's just us.

Phoebe: (angrily) What, are you kidding me?

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Well, when we threw that party for Monica in two days, she had, like, thirty people show up. And now Monica is planning this and you're telling me it's just gonna be us three? That's complete and total crap! Are you kidding me?

Rachel: (kinda nervously) No.

Phoebe: Well, then, why the hell is it just us?

Monica: (uncomfortably) It's not.

Phoebe: (happily) Oh, really??

Monica: Yeah, it was supposed to be a surprise.

Phoebe: Oh, well, then, I won't ask who's coming. Oh, you guys are the greatest! (they all hug)

~~~~

Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Rachel are there on the couch. Rachel's reading a magazine.

Chandler: So, we never do anything together.

Rachel: Shush, I'm trying to pretend I don't know you.

Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, okay then. (leans back into the couch, and then looks over at Rachel again.) So...whatcha readin?

Rachel puts down her magazine huffily and is about to say something when Monica and Courtney enter.

Chandler: Hey, guys!

Monica: Hey.

Rachel: Hey! Hey, Courtney?

Courtney: Yeah?

Rachel: Just a little question. It's not really so much a question as a vague wondering...ment type thing.

Courtney: (hesitantly) Okay.

Rachel: Yeah, uh...(clears her throat) Yeah. So. Uh...

Chandler: Well, go on, Rachel. Spit out this vague wondering-ment type thing that's such a tiny question.

Rachel: Okay, I will. Courtney, do you have any idea whatsoever as to where my wonderful daughter--your charming older cousin--Emma is?

Chandler: That was a boring wondering-ment. I'm gonna go get a cookie. (walks to the counter)

Courtney: Aunt Rachel, Emma's with Uncle Ross.

Monica: Actually, what she meant was her wonderful cousin Emma is with your fabulous husband Ross.

Rachel: Hey, Mon, maybe you should go with your fabulous husband Chandler and get a wonderful cookie?

Monica: You were thinking that, too? (walks over to Chandler)

Courtney: Aunt Rachel, can I ask you a question?

Rachel: Sure, sweetie, anything.

Courtney: Do you need me to tell you where Uncle Ross is?

Rachel: Oh, I--(Ross and Emma enter) They're right there! Hey, guys!

Ross: Hey!

Chandler and Monica walk back to the couch with cookies. Chandler sits next to Rachel and starts to hand a cookie to her, and then looks over at Monica like, "do I have to?" Monica nods.

Chandler: (reluctantly) Here, this cookie is for you. (to Monica) Do I have to say the rest of it?

Monica: (firmly) Yes. Or no you-know-what.

Chandler: (thinks for a minute. You can tell he's really struggling) Fine. (to Rachel) I'm sorry for making fun of you.

Rachel: Why, thank you, Monica. (takes the cookie from Chandler and turns away. Chandler looks at Monica, shocked.)

Monica: It's okay.

Chandler: She stole my cookie!

Monica: I know, it's okay.

Chandler: I get my other cookie, tonight, though, don't I?

Monica: Yeah, you do.

Chandler: Good, I like that cookie.

Rachel: (to Ross and Emma) So where were you guys?

Ross: Oh, we just picked up my tux and Emma's dress for Phoebe and Joey's wedding.

Monica: NOW??!!!

Ross: What? (to Chandler) What'd I do?

Chandler: Oh, Monica actually said, "Why the hell didn't you pick it up the second you heard they were engaged?? Why did you wait for the rehearsal dinner??"

Ross: Oh, okay. (to Monica) Because, like your husband here, (Chandler starts making a stop it gesture) I am normal and lead a busy life and pick stuff up close to the last minute.

Monica: (turns to Chandler) What?!!!!

Ross: I'd be careful how you answer that, or tonight's cookie's gonna get broken.

Chandler: Thanks, man. I picked it up a week ago, I swear.

Monica: But he said---

Chandler: He's Ross! He's been married five times!! Divorced four times!! I picked it up a week ago.

Monica: Okay, I guess that's okay.

Phoebe and Joey come in. Everyone says hi.

Chandler: Hey, guys. I gotta go do something. I'll see you at the rehearsal. (to Ross) Thanks again, Ross. Ok, bye! (kisses Monica and Courtney on the head. Joey is sitting next to them and Chandler accidentally kisses him too and then walks away spitting and wiping his mouth)

~~~~

Scene: A chapel. Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Emma are there. Rachel and Emma are sitting in a pew, Joey and Ross are standing up near the altar.

Ross: Now, Joey, don't forget what I told you.

Joey: I know, I know. "I, Joey, take thee, Phoebe."

Ross: Good. Now just keep repeating that. "Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe."

Joey: Dammit, Ross, I'm not you, leave me alone!

Ross: Fine, but don't come crying to me when you get divorced for the second time cause you said the wrong name!!

Rachel: Ross, calm down and come sit next to us. (Ross does.) He's right, you know. He's not you. Only you could say the wrong name.

Ross: One time!!

Rachel: Not so fast. Don't you remember the rehearsal before our third wedding?

Ross: I didn't mean to say Gunther! He was just, you know, in the front of my head! (indicates)

Rachel: Okay. I just remember thinking, "Huh. Now I know why Carol became a lesbian."

Ross: Hey! The only reason I married the lesbian was to make Monica look good!

Emma: (giggling. quietly) Gunther.

Ross: Hey! Don't you start!

Emma: Sorry.

Chandler, Monica, Courtney, and Phoebe enter.

Emma: Hey, Courtney! You'll never guess what I just found out!!

Courtney and Emma run off somewhere.

Ross: Okay, everyone's here--it's time to get this party started! Whoo!

Rachel: Nope, you can't pull that off.

Ross: Yeah, didn't think so. Okay. Places!!

Ross stands at the altar (he's gonna perform the ceremony). Joey and Chandler stand to the side, and Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe walk down the aisle. Then Phoebe and Joey face each other.

Ross: Dearly beloved, blah blah blah, repeat after me: I Joey.

Phoebe and Joey: I Joey.

Ross: No, Pheebs, not you yet.

Phoebe: Oh, I was wondering why you were calling me Joey. Okay. Keep going.

Ross: I Joey.

Joey: I Joey.

Ross: Take thee (slowly) Phoe-be.

Joey: Take thee (slowly) Rach-el. (everyone looks shocked) I'm joking!

Rachel: Thank god!

Phoebe: I was about to have to kick your ass!

Ross: Okay, Joey, that was a very funny joke, but (yells) DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!

Joey: Okay, geez.

Ross: Back to the fake ceremony. I Phoebe. (Phoebe's staring off into space. Louder) I Phoebe.

Phoebe: Oh, it's my turn now! Okay, see, I still thought it was Joey's. (all serious like when she answered the phone for Chandler in TOW the Ick Factor) I Phoebe.

Ross: (mouths 'wow') Take thee, Joey.

Phoebe: Take thee, David. (everyone gasps. in her normal voice) What? Joey can make a joke and I can't? Lighten up, people.

Monica: (whispers to Rachel) Imagine if they had kids.

Rachel: (whispers back) Oh, those poor children.

Phoebe: (to Ross in her serious voice) Take thee, Joey.

Ross: Okay, then we do the rings, then we say I do, then we kiss (motions for them to kiss) and then we eat cake.

Phoebe: Let them eat cake!!!

Joey: Let's go, it's time for food!!!

Phoebe: Cool!!

~~~~

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The day of the wedding. Monica, Chandler, Courtney, Rachel, and Emma are all there. Phoebe enters.

Phoebe: Hey! (scattered heys)

Monica: Hey, Pheebs. So, are you excited?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah!

Rachel: Excited, like normal, or excited like Monica?

Phoebe:Well--Oh! You wanna see my Monica impression?

Rachel: Ooh, yeah!

Phoebe: Okay. It's really funny. Here goes. I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!!! (starts to run and falls behind the couch. Everyone except Monica laughs. Monica shoots a look at Chandler who's laughing the hardest.)

Chandler: What? It was really funny! (Monica's still giving him the look) Phoebe, that was not nice and definitely not funny. (Monica nods and looks away. Chandler mouths, "it really was." Ross comes in)

Ross: Rachel, what are you and Emma doing over here?

Rachel: We're gonna get ready over here and then we're gonna take a cab with Monica, Courtney, and Phoebe.

Ross: Really?

Rachel: Yeah, and you and Chandler go with Joey.

Ross: Oh, okay. Come on, Chandler.

Chandler kisses Monica and Courtney and leaves with Ross. Right after the door closes behind them, it opens and Joey comes in.

Phoebe: Oh, Joey, you're not supposed to see me! (picks up her bag and holds it over her face)

Joey: Okay. Monica, you would know this. How do you get jam out of a tux?

Phoebe: (still behind the bag) Joey! You got jam on your tux?

Joey: Well, yeah, but just a little bit.

Monica: How much, Joey? (Joey makes a little sign with his hands) How much, Joey? (it gets really big) Oh, my god!

Phoebe: What? What?

Monica: Don't worry, Phoebe, I'll take care of it. (heads to the door. Quietly to Joey) You can fit in Ross' tux, right? (they leave)

Phoebe: Hey, can I take my bag down now?

Rachel: Yes.

Phoebe lowers her bag.

Phoebe: Whew! That thing weighs a ton!

Emma: Where are you and Uncle Joey gonna live, Aunt Phoebe?

Phoebe: Oh, at his place.

Courtney: Really? Why not at yours?

Phoebe: Cause this way we can all be in a row.

Rachel: What do you mean by that, honey?

Phoebe: Oh, it'll be me and Joey, Chandler and Monica, and you and Ross.

Courtney: What about us?

Phoebe: I wasn't finished. And all the little young-un's.

Emma: Cool! I'm a young-un!

~~~~

Scene: Joey's. Joey, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are there. Joey is in Ross' tux, and Chandler and Ross are playing on the Playstation.

Joey: I like it! It fits.

Monica: And it looks good, too.

Joey: Yeah, well, everything looks good when it's got Joey in it!

Monica: Joey! It's your wedding day!

Joey: Sorry. The charm's just so hard to turn off!

Ross: Die! Come on, die die die die! (Game makes dying noises) Yes!! I won!!!

Chandler: Dammit!

Monica: What are you two doing playing games, anyway? You need to get dressed now!

Chandler: Sir, yes, sir! Right away, sir! (salutes, grabs his tux, and heads into his old room)

Monica: You, too, Ross.

Ross: Yeah, but what am I gonna wear? (gestures to Joey)

Monica: You're right. Hmmm.

Joey: Well, you can wear what I was gonna wear for Chandler and Monica's wedding.

Monica: What's that?

Time lapse to later. Joey is holding up an extremely ugly robe that is brown, bright green, hot pink, day-glo orange, and lots of other colors that don't mix, and it's fluffy. Everyone gasps in horror when they see it.

Joey: (proud) Pretty, isn't it?

Ross: Yeah, that's right. Pretty damn ugly!

Monica: There is no way I am letting you wear that. That thing shouldn't even exist!

Chandler enters from his old room wearing his tux.

Chandler: Whoa! What kind of ugly-ass chickens died to make that hideous thing?

Joey: Now, I like it! And it's my wedding, and it's fake fur so Phoebe likes it, and I say Ross wears it!

~~~~

Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Phoebe, Rachel, Emma, and Courtney are there when Monica enters. Everyone is already dressed.

Monica: Wow, Phoebe, you look incredible!

Phoebe: Thank you! I know, though.

Rachel clears her throat.

Monica: You look good, too.

Phoebe: All right, already!

Monica: Oh, that was for Rachel.

Phoebe: Oh, okay.

Rachel: Th-- (Monica has already walked into her room)

Emma: Hey, Courtney, we get to walk down the aisle together.

Courtney: Cool! Hey, are we throwing rose petals?

Rachel: No, lily petals.

Phoebe: No, tulip petals.

Emma: No, we're not throwing anything.

Courtney: I have an idea. (yells) MOM!!!

Monica: (still in her room) WHAT?!!!

Courtney: (yelling) Are Emma and I throwing anything?!!

Monica: (enters from her room) Yes, of course, you're throwing rose petals.

Phoebe: What? I thought they were tulips.

Monica: Oh, okay. (goes back to her room)

Rachel: Wow, Mon doesn't know. She obviously has something on her mind.

Phoebe: Yeah. (realizes something) Maybe she's pregnant.

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Well, you said you were pregnant at her wedding--

Rachel: I didn't say it--

Phoebe: Shh! I'm not finished. Okay, so before I was so rudely interrupted I was saying that Monica didn't get to say she was pregnant at either of your weddings, cause she got pregnant before them and now is her last chance. I mean, unless you and Ross get divorced--again!

Rachel: (shoots Phoebe a glance about the "again!") Yeah, maybe she is. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

~~~~

Scene: The wedding! Yay! Ross is standing at the altar, wearing the ugly disgusting robe thing. Joey comes out and stands next to him, giving him a thumb's up and pointing at the robe. Leslie and Chandler (the girl) walk down the aisle. Rachel walks down the Frank Jr. Jr. Chandler and Monica walk down together. Courtney and Emma walk down the aisle and throw tulip petals for Phoebe in her pretty wedding dress. She stands next to Joey, they both face Ross, and...the music keeps going. Ross makes the stop it gesture, but the music keeps going until Chandler runs down the aisle and turns off the CD player.

Ross: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join in the time honored ceremony of weddings and marraiges and legally binding two people for life. Or, in my case, sometimes under a month. (laughs alone) Okay. I'll leave the jokes up to Chandler. (laughs alone again) Anyhoo, we're gonna join Phoebe--um, Phoebe--(to Phoebe) What's your middle name?

Phoebe: Faloola.

Ross: O-kay.

Phoebe: With a "p-h."

Ross: Well, then. Phoebe Phaloola Buffay and Joseph Francis Tribbiani in holy matrimony. Um. Wait just one second. (pulls out a piece of paper) It's my cheat sheet. (shows it off) Okay. The rings. We use these rings to symbolize that your love is everlasting. Like a circle. Or-or, a doughnut. (laughs alone) Okay. Say, "With this ring, I thee wed."

Phoebe and Joey: (putting the rings on each other) With this ring, I thee wed.

Ross: Good. Now, Joey, do you take Phoebe?

Joey: Oh, yeah, I do!

Ross: Phoebe, do you take Joey?

Phoebe: Hell, yeah! I mean, I do.

Ross: Okay, well. What is next, what is next. (reads his cheat sheet) Oh, yeah. Joey, repeat ater me. I Joey.

Joey: I Joey.

Ross: Take thee, Phoebe.

Joey: Take thee, Phoebe.

Ross: To be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to--

Joey: Wait! To be my lawfully wedded wife and so on.

Phoebe: Yeah, and I take Joey. Hey, are we married yet?

Ross: Wait, that's not how it goes. (frantically reads the cheat sheet)

Joey: So are we married yet??

Ross: (gives up) I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride.

Joey: Finally!! (kisses Phoebe. People applaud and...)

Monica: I'm PREGNANT!!!!

Rachel: I am too!!

Monica: Rachel!

Phoebe: Wait, no, don't yell! I am too!!

The Husbands(that's so cool): WHAT??!!!!

~~~~
!
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Scene: Wedding reception. Joey goes up to the band and speaks into the microphone.

Joey: Uh, hi. I just want to say thank you for coming, and I am now going to sing a song to my new bride, Phoebe.

Phoebe: Cool! (to those around her) His voice is irresistable.

Joey: Okay, it's a very special song to her, and I hope she likes it. (starts to sing) Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet, you're obviously not their favorite pet. You may not be a bed of roses, and you're no friend to those with noses. Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not you faaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuult.

Phoebe goes up to him.

Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Take me. Take me now.

Joey: Cool!!! (picks her up and runs out with her)

THE END!!!