Harry Potter Random Poems

Author: Johnnys Eeyore, fresh from seeing Jackass: The Movie for the third time in a week! It kicks so much ass!

Title: Harry Potter Random Poems

Disclaimer: Err…I don't own Harry Potter…there done (Starts walking away but is called back) What? I have to say that about all of them? (Uses Puppy Dog Eyes) but that isn't fair! (Pretends to cry) Sue me? SUE? OK then, Harry Potter and/or all related characters do not belong to me, the fabulous, wonderful (under breath) greedy, JK Rowling owns them all…(Sob)

Authors Note: Nope, this isn't more limericks by me (Check them out on my profile) these are poems and rhymes, as I can make them longer and nastier than limericks! Muwahahahahahahahahaha! I am evil Johnny, I am evil Johnny! (Dances around in Devil costume shaking maracas)

Random Poems- Chapter 1: Annoying Brats

Harry Potter-

"Harry Potter thinks he's great

 He really likes to masturbate

 Some nights he sits up in his room

 Rubbing on his long, hard broom

 Thinks he's fabulous, clever and cool

 Really he acts like a moronic fool

 With the lightening scar upon his head

 God I wish that Harry was dead"

Ron Weasley-

"With bright Red hair atop his head

 Looking poor and under fed

 He's 'Wonder boys' bestest friend

 Always looking for cash to lend

 With six brothers and sisters he has to compete

 But has a weirdo fetish with feet

 He likes to sit and watch Harry sleep

 Ron really is a perverted freak"

Hermoine Granger-

"She's the Miss Goody Two Shoes of the year

 What they don't know is that she's queer

 She prefers people that are of the same sex

 She finds a mans 'organ' far too complex

 She spends her time with studies and books

 Very self-conscious about her looks

 No one really understands Miss Granger

 Could her sexuality be any stranger?"

Authors Note: I am going to do these section-by-section, placing characters under heading that I think best describes them, hence Harry being under 'Annoying Brats'. Please review…please? You can even flame!

Next- 'Sexy Buggers'