Chapter 17
Dear Yami Bakura...

It had been a whole week since Bakura had died. It was the morning of the funeral. A cloudy, rainy Sunday morning, it was. The rain tapped upon the window of the guestroom that Bakura had slept in only a week before.

Yami Bakura fixed his black tie that went with his suit as he stood before the full-length mirror on the guestroom door. His face was pale and his eyes were weary. His hair was still somewhat of a mess. (What brush could get through that white jungle on Yami Bakura's head?)

There was a knock at the door. Yami Bakura stepped back and spoke meekly, "Come in."

The door opened and who stood there, but Yugi. Yami Yugi had told his little hikari the whole story of what had happened to Bakura. From there, Yugi made up a story and told his grandfather.

Yugi had told Salomon that Yami Bakura was Bakura's older brother, Trevor, and was on his way to visit Bakura when he found Bakura dead in an alleyway. Yugi then convinced Salomon to allow Yami Bakura to stay. It wasn't a very good lie because Bakura didn't have an older brother, but Salomon didn't know that.

Yugi too, was dressed in a suit, with a black tie and all. He was nowhere near as tired and pale as Yami Bakura, but he did look very sad and not as well rested and energetic as his usual self.

"Yami Bakura...we had better get going now, if we want to get there on time." Yugi said, his voice unusually flat.

Yami Bakura just gave a slight nod of his head and followed Yugi out of the guestroom, down the stairs, through the shop, and outside, where Salomon, who was also dressed in a black suit, waited in the car for them.

Salomon's small red Chevy Nova rolled down the road behind the hearse that carried Bakura's coffin. Yami Bakura sat in the back seat with Yugi and stared at the rainy sky outside the windows. His eyes were too parched to cry, but on the inside he wept unconditionally.

The Millennium ring was no longer of Yami Bakura's possessions. He had sold it to a pawnshop to pay for Bakura's funeral. Without Bakura, life seemed to have lost all meaning to Yami Bakura. He felt no more need to have the Millennium items.

The Millennium Ring was 24 karat gold and it was an Egyptian artifact, so it had made a lot of money for Yami Bakura, but it was still only just enough to pay for the funeral, the coffin, the tomb stone, a lot, a suit for Bakura to be buried in, and a suit for Yami Bakura to go to the funeral in; and none of them were very great at all. The funeral was going to be a small Christian one (Yami Bakura didn't really know if Bakura believed in any religion anymore), the coffin was the next step up from a large crate, the tombstone was small and made of granite without much inscribed on it, and the suits were just plain black and weren't made of any special material. Salomon offered to help with the finances, but Yami Bakura had refused.

The hearse finally pulled over into the church's parking lot. Salomon followed the hearse into the parking lot and parked next to it. Salomon got out of the car and pulled out a black umbrella, which he opened to keep the rain off of him. Yugi did the same. Yami Bakura got out of the car but refused to take an umbrella.

'I don't deserve an umbrella,' Yami Bakura thought, 'If only it weren't just a drizzle.'

4 suited men came out of the hearse and opened the back. They pulled Bakura's coffin out of the back of the hearse. They then began to carry it away, into the cemetery.

Watching this almost brought Yami Bakura to tears, and probably would have if his eyes weren't so dry.

Soon after, Tea, Joey, and Tristan arrived, all dressed in black suites, except Tea, who had on a black skirt and a gray blouse. With Yugi and Salomon, the 5 walked off into the graveyard after the men carrying Bakura's coffin. Yami Bakura laggard behind them, looking at the other gravestones sadly. 'I guess Bakura will be joining them now...' Yami Bakura thought to himself.

The site for Bakura's gave was tucked far in the corner of the graveyard, next to a half dead tree. Not the nicest spot in the graveyard, but it was all that Yami Bakura could afford with the strict money limit he had.

Yami Bakura, at last, reached Bakura's gravesite. Everyone else who had been invited to the service was already there, except for the priest. Some of them were standing, most of them were talking to one another, and practically all of them had tears in their eyes or were on the verge of tears.

Next to the hole in the ground, which would soon be Bakura's eternal resting place, was Bakura's coffin. It lay shut.

It wasn't long before a somewhat short plump man with short brown hair and a mustache came down the dirt road in the graveyard, straight at all of them. He wore long black robes and a gold-plated cross around his neck that swayed back and forth as he hobbled along. Under his left arm, a bible bound in a black, worn looking cover, ribbons of meaningful colors dangling from it.

Everyone took a seat in one of the folding metal chairs as the man dressed in black robes took a stand at the podium in front of the grave.

"Everyone," he began, "We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a loved one and a good friend..."

Practically everyone there shed at least a few tears. Even the priest seemed to make a small sobbing noise in the middle of the ceremony and the men who had brought the coffin, and were standing on each side of it, also seemed to be tearing up. Yami Bakura shed more tears then anyone else because he felt responsible for Bakura's death; the death of the only person Yami Bakura had ever loved in this lifetime. Tea was probably lost the second most amount of water through her eyes. Even though she had never gotten very close to Bakura, she was very passionate and she just couldn't help regretting that she had never had the chance to get to know him better. Next was Yugi, he cried silently and twiddled his thumbs, but he wasn't able to look at Bakura's coffin, even if it was closed. Then came the macho-men, Joey and Tristan. They both wept for Bakura as everyone else. And finally came Salomon, who only shed about 3 tears because he had seen many people die before, even though he had never known a person who had died from suicide, or had died so young.

Tears poured on as the ceremony came to a close. Each tear on Yami Bakura's face felt like acid, and burned. They were the tears of sorrow, guilt, and at the same time love, which did not make a very good combination.

One of the men, who had brought the coffin, opened it, for everyone to pay their last respects. Yugi went first.

Yugi wandered up to Bakura's coffin and peaked inside at Bakura's body, still as sickly and as poor looking as it had been before he had died. But something was slightly surprising. His lips drew up in what looked to be a slight smile.

Yugi looked at Bakura for a little while and finally began to speak. "Well, Bakura...it looks like no one can..." He sobbed but continued. "...No one can hurt you anymore..." He then began crying hysterically and Salomon had to rush up and help Yugi away from Bakura's coffin.

Next was Tea. She went up and leaned over Bakura's coffin. "I wish I had gotten to know him more before he died. I'm sorry I missed the chance." She wiped some of the tears from her eyes.

One of her tears fell and landed on Bakura's face. She put her hand on his face to wipe the tear away, but as soon as her skin made contact with his, she stopped moving as strange thoughts and feeling, alien to her, ran through her head.

She looked at Bakura, and even in the sorry condition his body was in, she understood why a lot of girls had flocked around him at school. She had never noticed this in him before, but he was actually quite an attractive boy.

Not knowing what she was doing, she brought her face closer to his. Quietly she pressed her warm lips against Bakura's cold, dead ones and kissed him. Realizing what she was doing, she pulled away. She looked back at the others there, and they all stared at her with wide eyes and strange looks on their faces.

Tea blushed promptly and stepped away from Bakura's coffin to let the next people to go. Joey and Tristan went up at the same time and they both took a look at Bakura's corpse.

Tristan was the first to talk, "Wow...this is creepy...I've never seen a real dead body before, and it's even creepier because it's some one I knew."

Joey wiped his eyes. "Yeah, it is..." Joey looked at Bakura sadly and there was a strange moment before he shouted at Bakura's body, "Why'd ya have ta go and kill yourself, ya idiot! Didn't ya know that we cared about ya?!"

Tristan put his hand on Joey's shoulder. "Easy, buddy. Yelling at him wont help any of us."

"You're right, but what really gets to me is that we never got a good chance to find out what he was really like."

"He seemed like such a great guy..."

"...Goodbye, Bakura. We'll miss ya, buddy." Joey turned and walked away from Bakura's coffin with his head down, Tristan followed him closely, his head was down too; both of them were hiding their tears obviously.

Finally it was Yami Bakura's turn to pay his respects, and his apologies. He didn't want to face Bakura, even now, only as an empty body, but at the same time he did. He thought for a moment and made his decision clear. Stepping up to Bakura's coffin, Yami Bakura peered inside.

The sight of Bakura, so peacefully resting was a reliving sight to Yami Bakura, but also an upsetting one. The tears on his face felt as if they were making hot imprints in his skin as he stared at the lifeless body of his once sweet hikari.

Yami Bakura reached into the coffin and took hold of one of Bakura's hands, cold as stone and just as hard. Yami Bakura rubbed his thumb back and forth on the battered skin on the back of Bakura's hand.

It hurt Yami Bakura's eyes to cry even more but he did so. He wanted to speak but couldn't find the words to say, so he just continued to stroke Bakura's hand. Until finally he was able to let out his feelings, "Bakura...I...I...I'm sorry for the monster I've become, I'm sorry for what I did to you. It's my fault you are here. My fault you are dead..." He sniveled. "I am already dying from a broken heart. I don't expect I'll live past a week; I haven't eaten or slept since you died. It took me thousands of years to get a body of my own, and it will take less then 2 weeks to destroy it. But I've found life isn't worth living without you so I don't care about what happens to me. Without you, nothing matters, I feel so incomplete. There's no hope, no good, no tomorrow without you, just pain and guilt. I will keep you in my heart for all eternity, even as I burn in the fiery depths of Hell. I love you Bakura." He stood up and turned away from Bakura's coffin, the tears still coming from his desiccated eyes. Without looking back, he walked away, over to Yugi who was recovering from his outburst of tears earlier.

Yugi looked up at Yami Bakura's face. "You loved him more then you could love anyone else, didn't you?" He seemed unaware that this question was very upsetting to Bakura's Yami.

"More then it's possible to love anyone. When you only have one person to love, they make a much greater impact on you. When they are gone, there's nothing left for you. That is one reason why I hate love." He said trying to keep his voice from breaking or from bursting into tears. He sat in a chair next to Yugi and closed his eyes with a deep sigh.

Yugi looked at Yami Bakura for a moment and then crawled into the grieving Yami's lap. This was quite strange to Yami Bakura and he opened his eyes and looked at the short boy now sitting in his lap.

Yugi laid his head on Yami Bakura's chest and didn't move. This confused Yami Bakura further, what was this boy attempting?

Finally Yami Bakura asked out of curiosity, "What are you doing?"

"Yami Bakura..." Yugi replied but paused a moment before continuing. "I can hear your heart beating."

"Isn't it supposed to do that?" Yami Bakura asked.

Yugi sat up and looked Yami Bakura in the face. "Yami told me that you and him were only spirits and you didn't have bodies, that's why you needed to use Bakura and my body. If you didn't have a body, where would you keep a heart?"

"I have my own body now."

"How did you find one that looked exactly like your spirit?"

"It's my body, the Millennium ring created it for me."

"Really? Do you think my Yami's Millennium puzzle could create one for Yami?"

"A spirit has to be complete before a Millennium item can give it a body. The Millennium item then becomes powerless, giving all of its magic up to create the spirit's new body. Not like I deserved it. I would have died with Bakura if I hadn't gained a damn body." Yami Bakura said.

"I wish my Yami had a body of his own. What does a spirit need to be complete?"

"I'm not really sure..." Just then something struck Yami Bakura's mind like a hammer strikes a nail. Before he had said: 'Without you, nothing matters, I feel so incomplete.' The answer was Bakura. Bakura was the one that made Yami Bakura complete, but how could this be? He would have had a body as soon as the ring was given to Bakura.

Right before the ring had given Yami Bakura a body, Yami Bakura had asked Bakura if he loved him, to which Bakura's reply was basically yes. Yami Bakura had loved Bakura all along but not been sure if Bakura loved him or not. The true answer was love. It was the love that Bakura and Yami Bakura shared that had completed Yami Bakura's spirit and enabled the Millennium ring to have the ability to give Yami Bakura a body all his own. "...It's love."

"Love?" Yugi questioned.

"The love shared between a Yami and Hikari helps complete the Yami's spirit..."

By the podium, Salomon conversed with the priest.

"So, he just committed suicide out of nowhere?" The priest asked.

"Actually, no. When he first came to Yugi and I he was in pretty bad condition, cuts and scars all over the place, and he was practically a mummy wrapped in all that gauze. He worked really hard at my shop in exchange for a place to stay because he said he couldn't stay with his aunt. The poor kid didn't want to eat a thing." Salomon reflected back to the week before.

"So he was in pretty bad condition."

"Yes, and while I was reading the paper one morning, I had found out he had been the boy in that car accident with the train a little while ago."

The priest seemed slightly astonished. He walked over to the coffin and took a better look at Bakura's body. "Oh my goodness...I was there! I saw the boy and offered to take him to the hospital but he refused me and ran away. He must have been in a horrible condition when he came to you."

"He was. And when Yugi saw the newspaper article he began to cry and told me that Bakura was planning suicide. The next day he saved my Yugi's life and suffered 3 broken ribs. I saw him the day afterwards and that was the last time I saw him alive."

"Oh my!"

The funeral was over in not too long and everyone had gone back to his or her dwellings.

The sky was overcast and very dark by this time and the drizzle had become much harder. The sky boomed and a streak of light split the heavens.

Yami Bakura sat alone in the guestroom on the bed. It was very dark in the room, except for when the lightning flashed in through the window and he didn't bother himself with turning on any lights. He stared out the window at the dark, swirling clouds, almost seeming entranced by them; he barely even blinked.

A small amount of light was let into the room as the door cracked open. Yugi peeked in the guestroom at Yami Bakura, who didn't seem aware of Yugi's presence. Yugi opened the door and walked in. Still, Yami Bakura didn't do as much as twitch a muscle. Still as stone, he stared at the clouds as they threatened the whole town with its dazzling lightning.

Yugi cleared his throat to get Yami Bakura's attention, but Yami Bakura continuously stared out the window, lost in thought and mind. Yugi climbed onto the bed and up to Yami Bakura, then tugged upon Yami Bakura's sleeve. Yami Bakura's arm flinched of surprise as soon as Yugi tugged, bringing Yami Bakura back to Earth. He looked at Yugi.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Yami Bakura. But...but there's something of Bakura's that I think you should see." Yugi climbed off the bed and over to the nightstand. Yami Bakura turned his head and watched Yugi.

Yugi kneeled down and looked under the bed. "I put it down here for safe keeping. I was going to give it to you when you were ready, and I think that time is now." Yugi stood back up with a book in black, tattered, leather bindings.

"I kind of..." Yugi looked a little guilty. "I kind of read part of it..." Yugi placed the book on the bed and slid it toward Yami Bakura.

"Is this...?" Yami Bakura couldn't quite finish his question.

"Yes."

Yami Bakura ran his fingers over the scruffy leather covering. "I shouldn't read it, it was his personal property."

"I think he wanted you to read it. There's a note inside that is addressed to you. It's on the last pages he wrote on."

Yami Bakura picked up the book that had once been Bakura's private journal and he looked at it, but he did not open it. "Thank you, Yugi..."

Yugi nodded his head; "I'll let you read it in peace." Yugi walked to the door and flicked the light switch on. The room filled with the bright rays of the light bulb. Yugi left the room and closed the door behind him.

Yami Bakura's heart pounded in his ears as he touched the rugged bindings. He opened to the cover page and his heart was still for a moment. On the cover page were the words: 'Standard Journal, Property of...' and there was a space for a name. In the space, in Bakura's handwriting, was Bakura's first and last name, Bakura Ryou.

Yami Bakura took the corner of the fraying, water stained page and turned it, revealing the first entry Bakura had ever written in his journal. He began reading it in his head, not skimming, but actually reading every single word on the page.

Yami Bakura read the pages of the journal for hours upon hours. Some parts were slightly boring, others almost cracked a grin on Yami Bakura's face, while most, especially toward the end, upset him, angered him, made him cry.

It was almost midnight when Yami Bakura finally reached the last entry. He had read nonstop, not even taking a moment's break. This was finally it, the last few pages that contained writing:

'Dear Yami Bakura,

I welcome you to my journal. Here's where I've been recording my life for the last couple of years. My thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, along with events that have happened in my life. All of those things you'll find in here, but if you've already read it then you already know.

I'm writing you this letter to tell you all the things I've been too afraid to tell you to your face.

First of all, I love you Yami. No matter what you've done to me I'll still always love you. All I've ever wanted was for you to love me. Even if you beat me, knowing that you loved me was enough to keep my heart beating.

You yourself told me I was lower then dirt. You were right as you always are. Who could love me? I was foolish to think I could get you to love me. I bet my parents didn't even want me. I never liked myself anyways so I guess life doesn't really matter, does it?

I don't believe I have any real friends. Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea, all of them, they are only nice to me out of pity. I am a pretty pitiful excuse for a person. Am I even a person? You don't seem to think so. I don't think so either. I am not treated as such.

Do you believe in destiny? I don't know what I believe anymore, but if my life is as horrible as it is then I don't see a reason to live. As long as I'm not hurting or bothering anyone else, no one cares what I do. I wish I couldn't feel emotions. You're right, they do make me weak.

I idolize you, Yami Bakura. You're like a father figure to me. Nothing bothers you; you could care less about what anyone else thinks about you. I know you hate love over all other emotions, and you've driven me to hate love too. But I can't help but have this feeling for you. It's not something you can just get rid of. I wish it were, it's broken my heart so many times before.

I know you gained a body. What spirit eats, sleeps, and has a pulse without a body? If you have a body I don't have to worry about taking you with me when I die.

I don't think too much of this matters anymore. My time is running out. I know I am going to die from starvation, wounds, but over all, a broken heart. No one cares about my existence; I don't need to be. I was just a mistake when I was born. Nothing matters to me anymore. My last and only hope is that you are happy when I die.

I love you Yami...'

Bakura's signature was at the bottom of the page and that was the last that was written in the old book.

A tear hit the page and landed on Bakura's signature, smudging it. "Oh, Bakura..." Yami Bakura whimpered softly. If he had known about the entry he would have been able to stop Bakura before he took his own life.

Yami Bakura put the book down and slid off the bed, standing with his head down. He felt his knees weaken and he fell into a kneeling position. Bakura was gone forever and noting could be done. Yami Bakura's heart ached. It had been him, he had drove Bakura to death.

Yami Bakura let out loud sobs and snivels as tears rained down from his face to the floor below him. It seemed to him, as he had never cried so hard before.

Small feet made quick footsteps down the hall headed for the guestroom door. Yami Bakura immediately stopped bellowing and stood; tears were still coming. Stumbling over to the door, he locked it. The knob trembled and clinked as the person on the other side tried to open the door.

Yugi's voice called from the other side of the door, "Yami Bakura! What's going on it there?! Are you okay?!"

Yami Bakura looked quickly around the room. Seeing the window he headed for it and slid it open. He climbed out and grasped a hold of the gutter, which was, luckily, strongly fastened to the building.

The rain came down quickly and heavily along with small hailstones. The rain stung and the hailstones pelted Yami Bakura's skin as he began to pull himself onto the roof. The rain was freezing, even if it was summer, and summer is the time when it hails the most. The wind pushed upon Yami Bakura's body but he held fast.

Yugi had just unlocked the guestroom door with a key when Yami Bakura had pulled himself onto the roof.

Yugi looked around the room for Yami Bakura and saw the window open. "He couldn't have...he would have!" Yugi ran to the window and looked at the street below.

The fall wasn't much more then 20 feet and Yami Bakura was well built, so he wouldn't have gotten much of an injury. Yugi brought his head back in and closed the window. "He's gone..."

Yami Bakura sat on the highest part of the roof and stared at the black and dark gray clouds swirl above his head.

'If only my heart weren't so cold, if only I had known, if only...if only... 'ifs' aren't good enough. I need Bakura and 'ifs' wont bring him back to me. I will be forced to live forever without him. Without the only person that meant something to me, what is life?'

Yami Bakura said the simple words that he'd wanted to say to Bakura but had never been able to, and it tore into his heart like a knife. "Bakura, with all of my heart...I love you."

THE END