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Chapter Seven: Tragedy Strikes Suddenly and Without Warning
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late wednesday night
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James was roaming the corridors, pretending to be a secret agent.
It wasn't something he would ever admit to doing; he had seen a Muggle spy movie once and the image of the suave man in the suit moving secretively through the territory of the enemy, ducking behind walls and peering out cautiously, had stuck in his mind.
So then, even though he was seventeen years old and Captain of the Quidditch team, he loved to sneak around the castle at night, clasping his fingers together in a pretend gun shape, and peering carefully and secretly around corners before dashing off down the hall to the next alcove.
That night he was having a blast. He was roaming around the fourth floor, softly humming theme music for himself. He nearly leapt out of his skin when the upside-down clock down the hallway from him chimed one in the morning; and so, James decided he ought to go on back to bed. Sighing in resignation, he pulled out the Marauder's Map to locate the best way back to the dormitory.
And his heart nearly stopped. Not more than an inch behind him on the parchment was a miniscule dot labeled 'Argus Filch'.
"Mischief Managed!" he hissed, wiping the map clean and preparing to make a run for it.
"Not so fast," said Filch in a sinister tone, closing a skeletal hand on the bespectacled boy's shoulder.
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Sirius and Remus were necking on Remus' bed, and Peter was trying his best to ignore them.
Sirius had complained so much on the way back about how much his hand hurt from copying lines in McGonagall's detention that Remus promised to kiss it and make it better – this quickly degenerated into a heated snog session.
Suddenly James came bursting into the room, looking extremely distressed.
"Everyone! We have an emergency!!" he shouted, and Sirius shot up from his comfortable position on top of Remus.
"What is it? What happened??"
James put one hand tragically over his heart. "The Marauder's Map…has been confiscated."
Everyone gasped.
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thursday evening, just before dinnertime
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"All right, here's the plan." Sirius was definitely in his element now. The four Marauders were huddled together under the stairs on the second floor. "I," he said, brandishing several smoke bombs and firecrackers, "will set these off in the girl's bathroom outside the Great Hall as soon as dinner's over. You, Peter," he tapped Peter smartly on the shoulder, "will be the lookout. As soon as Filch grabs me and hauls me off to his office, you run upstairs and tell Moony and Prongs," he tapped each in turn, "who will then create a diversion in the room right above Filch's office. If all goes as planned, Filch will go running off and I will have a few minutes to search for the map. Peter, you can be lookout again while Moony and Prongs create the diversion; when Filch starts to come up the stairs from the dungeons, run and tell them; you two, set off some firecrackers and run for your lives. I don't want you getting in trouble again."
They all nodded, and broke the huddle. "Is everyone clear on their part?" Everyone nodded smartly again, and headed proudly down the hallway to dinner.
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stage one of 'operation filch'
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Sirius grinned evilly as he dropped the last "Filibuster's Wet Start, No Heat Firecracker" into the toilet on the far wall. He had made some 'adjustments' to the firecrackers himself; they would now go off if he said the right password – within a fifteen-foot radius, no less! He had planted them inside all the girls' toilets, and scurried away to lie in wait around the corner for some girls to go in.
"Peter! You ready?" he hissed. Peter stuck his head around the corner and gave him the thumb's up.
A group of third-year girls, giggling and talking rapidly to each other, rounded the corner and entered the bathroom. Sirius snuck closer, waiting a few seconds…there!
BOOM-GURGLE-SPLASH!
All the girls screamed, and Sirius snickered at the chaos he was inflicting on the innocent bathroom. He opened the door and flung in a few smoke bombs as well, just to make it worse. Sirius flattened himself against the wall next to the door, laughing his head off.
The raven-haired boy suddenly felt a hand close on his arm. "Mr. Black," said the voice that struck terror into the hearts of troublemakers everywhere. Filch tightened his grip on Sirius' arm, and the boy gulped.
Filch began to drag him off to the dungeons, and as usual, he protested loudly – just so Filch wouldn't think anything was up. In the distance he heard the pattering of running feet as Peter tore upstairs.
Sirius had figured out that the route from the bathrooms just off the Great Hall to the unused classroom directly above Filch's office was longer than the one from the bathroom down to Filch's office. Thus, he had calculated, it would take longer for Peter to run upstairs than it would take for him to be dragged downstairs – which fit in perfectly with their plan. Remus had made fun of him – if only Sirius put so much time and effort into his schoolwork!
Filch shoved him into his office and shut the door. "Detention, Black!" he said nastily, grabbing a form off a pile on his desk. "Terrorizing the younger girls…making an enormous mess in the girls' bathroom…possession of fireworks and other such mischief-making items which are NOT ALLOWED AT HOGWARTS…" Filch smiled in maniacal glee. "I am going to talk to Dumbledore about expelling you, Black! You are a no-good troublemaker!"
Sirius squirmed in his seat.
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stage two of 'operation filch'
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"Filch has him!" Peter gasped out, staggering into the unused classroom where Remus and James were sitting on an old table.
They leaped to their feet. "All right, now we wait for exactly one minute…" James pulled out a pocket watch.
The anticipation was palpable as James counted down the seconds. "Four…three…two…one…GO!" Remus began letting enormous bangs off with his wand as James began overturning all the furniture in the room. "Go, Peter, go!" James cried, and Peter took off once again.
"How's this for a diversion!!" Remus cried, casting the Sonorus charm on a firecracker before setting it off.
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stage three of "operation filch"
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An enormous boom shook the floor. Sirius had to stifle a laugh as Filch looked in shock up at the ceiling.
"PEEVES!!!" he shouted, rushing blindly out of the room.
Sirius was up in an instant. He ran over to a likely looking filing cabinet; the top drawer was labeled "Records", the middle drawer was labeled "Confiscated", and the bottom drawer was labeled "Confiscated and Highly Dangerous". Sirius pulled them all open, searching frantically. Nothing. There was another unlabeled cabinet beside it, which he frantically began to search…
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stage four of "operation filch"
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Peter once again came tearing into the classroom. "He's coming! He's coming!" he gasped out. Remus and James both pulled out firecrackers, set them off, grabbed Peter, and went running as fast as they could down the hall.
"PEEVES! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW!!!" Filch roared, yards behind them. They tore up the back staircase, sprinted along the hallway, and nearly ran into the Fat Lady as they begged for entrance to Gryffindor Tower.
"Mugwubble! Mugwubble!" they yelled, and the painting swung open, the Fat Lady clucking about impatient children.
At long last, they collapsed in a heap in the dormitory, gasping for breath. "I hope…Sirius…is okay…" Remus panted.
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meanwhile, back in filch's office…
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Sirius had started a wild search of Filch's desk when he heard the door creak open. He stumbled backwards, tripping over an untied shoelace as Filch advanced on him.
"Do you know what I found upstairs?" he said sadistically, moving closer and closer.
"N-no?" Sirius squeaked.
"These!" Filch suddenly held up the charred remains of three fireworks.
Sirius gulped. "I don't know how they got there…I…"
"Quiet, Black! I'm on to your little plan. You got in trouble on purpose and had your little friends create a diversion upstairs so you could search my office for this." Filch whipped the Marauder's Map out of his pocket. Sirius groaned. "I don't know what it is, but I have my suspicions. Why would you go to so much trouble to get it back otherwise? And why was Mr. Potter so loathe to give it up last night? Hmm?"
Sirius winced.
"Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Black! I am keeping this on my person until you graduate, so another little stunt like the one you just pulled won't do you any good. You haven't a chance of getting it back!" Filch said gleefully.
Sirius slumped, defeated.
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Later…
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When Sirius opened the door to the dormitory, he was swamped at once.
"What happened?"
"How much trouble did you get into?"
"Did you get it?"
Sirius raised one hand, tiredly, and everyone silenced. "Filch was on to us the whole time. He's keeping the Map hidden in his robes, and he says that he's going to keep it on his person at all times until we graduate."
Everyone slumped dejectedly. "This is our darkest hour," James said tragically. "Filch has finally gotten the better of us."
"Hear, hear," Remus said, his head resting on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius had his arms around the young werewolf's waist and was shaking his head sadly.
"I have an old black tee shirt I don't wear anymore," James continued. "We could cut it up and make black arm bands. For mourning, and all."
Everyone nodded and went despondently over to James' trunk.
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thursday morning, breakfast
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"Why so sad?" Lily had come over to the Gryffindor table and was sitting next to James.
"It's an epic-worthy tale," Sirius said tragically, one arm around Remus, who was poking his fork at a lumpy mass of hash browns.
"Filled with intrigue," James added.
"And tragedy," Remus put in.
"And romance," Sirius said, kissing Remus on the cheek.
"And explosions," Peter piped up.
"Right. And this is why you're all wearing jagged pieces of a tee shirt tied around your left arms?" Lily said wryly.
"Yes," said James.
"For mourning. And James is terrible with his Severing charms," Sirius said gravely.
"You're all nutters." Lily scooped a forkful of scrambled eggs onto her fork and ate it.
"Why are you sitting here anyway if you're just going to mock us?" Sirius sniffed in false disdain.
"James asked me to, didn't you, James?" Lily cooed teasingly at her boyfriend, who blushed to the roots of his hair.
"Awwww, wittle Jamsie-kins and his wittle girlfwiend! Isn't he pwecious?" Sirius cooed in imitation of Lily, grinning like a madman.
"Shove off, Padfoot, you great trollop."
Sirius clapped a hand to his chest, as if James had thrown a knife. "Argh, my bleeding heart…it hurts, it hurts!"
"Shut up."
Sirius grinned and turned to the redheaded girl. "Anyway, Lily, as I was saying, we had something of great importance taken from us."
"A dear friend…" James said sadly.
"Got us out of many scrapes…"
"Helped us peerlessly in our nightly trips to the kitchens…"
"Spent a year and half making it…poured our blood, sweat and tears into it…"
"And now it's gone…" Remus added, staring at a hash brown he had speared on his fork.
"What are you talking about?" Lily said, still inclined to believe that they were all loony.
"The Marauder's Map, Lily."
"Oh, that old thing."
"James!" Sirius looked appalled. "You told Lily about the Marauder's Map?? She's a Prefect!"
"Oh, like it matters now, anyway, now that Filch's got it."
"But James, you swore an oath of secrecy!" Sirius still looked scandalized.
"I did no such thing." James crossed his arms over his chest. "That was you and Remus being silly."
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"So, Remus, how are you?" Lily turned away from James and toward the young werewolf, tuning out the petty fight that had started between their boyfriends.
"Oh, I'm doing pretty well myself. You?"
"Can't complain, really," Lily replied, then eating a glazed peach with relish. "Well, except about these two."
"They're loony." Remus smiled. "But that's why we love them, yes?"
Lily smiled back. "Can't deny that one."
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(swish and flick)
Finitum Part Seven!
To be continued…
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