The blonde turned around to reveal Aragorn, in drag.

"What the hell are you doing, Aragorn?!" Legolas slowly backed away.

"Aragorn? My name is Billy-Sue. What's your name, handsome?"

Legolas turned to run but was distracted by the contrast of the gauzy dress and Aragorn's chest hair sticking out the top.

Aragorn advanced on Legolas, trying to be sexy and licking his lips as he stared at Legolas' blue eyes. He came up on him and stroked his hair as Legolas began to convulse on the floor. Aragorn looked concerned so he picked Legolas up and carried him back to his room.to rest.

~~~~~

Legolas woke up, comforted by the warm sheets surrounding him. He was about to return to sleep when he realized he was missing the clothes he'd been wearing only a moment earlier. He sat up and looked around, desperately searching for his misplaced clothes when he realized he was only missing his shirt, which was a relief. Until, of course, he realized that his pants were now on inside out.

He jumped out of the bed and was going to make a break from the door, but Ara.Billy-Sue came back just as he was getting up.

"Oh, good! You're awake! I was sooo worried!" "she" said, "But you shouldn't be up! You need to rest! You look so pale!"

"I'm an elf, it happens", said Legolas, attempting to resist Billy-sue's attempts to push him back into bed.

He was fending "her" off well, found his shirt, closed his eyes and dove between his legs to get to the door. In an instant he was down the hall and into the woods with Billy-sue calling after him, "Come back you dirty boy! You need your rest!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Safely in the woods Legolas stopped to puzzle the recent events out in his mind. As he was standing in a confused daze, her heard rustlings coming from behind a near by bush. He had never heard a squeal like that ever before, so he went to investigate.

He parted the bushes' branches and shouted in disgust at what he saw. "OH! That is the SICKEST thing I have EVER SEEN!" He cried.