While Gimli was playing with fire, Lord Elmo of Moria had cut himself free of the constricting leash and was rifling through Gimli's bag, looking for his chopsticks of doom.

"ooo, pretty fire."said Gimli, as he set his beard on fire. "Put it out! Put it out!" he cried. Billy-sue, being the quick thinker that "she" is, whipped off the bed sheet and smothered the dwarf, putting out his beard fire, and dumping Legolas on the ground. The impact was enough to wake him out of his catatonic state and he groaned as he realized he was in a sex den and with his true love nowhere to be found.

HE had found, however, the everyone was a bit too preoccupied, so he called to Lord Elmo and implored him to use his chopsticks of doom to free him. Elmo considered and looked at Legolas, menacingly. "What'll you give me if I do?" "I'll help you retrieve the rubber ducky from Ara..Billy-sue," he said, practically spitting on the name of his former companion. "I know you want it."

Elmo couldn't help but drool at the thought of that rubber ducky. "Very well." Lord Elmo deftly cut Legolas' bindings and the pair ran off through the woods, leaving the transvestite, forlorn she-elf, and the smoking dwarf to themselves.

~~~~~~~~

Inside the previously evacuated chambers of Billy-sue.

"If you were a rubber ducky, where would you be?..."pondered Legolas.

Lord Elmo could only laugh maniacally at the thought of the rubber ducky being in his possession again. Legolas stared at him, but continued to search, thinking it was better not to ask.

After the entire room had been searched there was only one place left to look.

The underwear drawer.

Legolas took a deep breath and opened the drawer, nearly blinded by all the flourescant colors and gagging at the sight of all the frilly-ness.

But he found the duck.

Lord Elmo jumped on it, waving his chopsticks of doom, as he jumped out the window before realizing that he was too high off the ground to land without breaking something.

Legolas cringed at the sound of the crunching bones and the final, long squeak of the rubber ducky as he hit the ground. But Legolas was free!

~~~~~ Lord Elrond was on his way home from Boca Rotan when he found a fuzzy red patch of grass beneath the window. Nestled inside it was the rubber ducky, so he picked it up and took it back for safe keeping. Lord Elmo let out an agonizing wheeze when he realized that the rubber ducky had eluded him again.

~~~~~~~

Legolas was strolling out of the room when he heard a *clack clack clack* following him down the hall. When he stopped, so did the clacking. He turned around to find Billy-sue, thong-less and panting in high heels behind him. Without hesitation he ran..