Playstation 2 and others
part3

enervate, here! *thrust tissues* thanks for your review^^. I did re-read this but i think i still spelled a few words wrong...
-----

Tokitoh muttered as he pounded his head against the wooden bed room floor rythmactically. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit

How? How could a perfect life living with your best friend, attending a school where all students bowed to your feet and the carefree feel of never having to worry about anything further than whether Kubota was going to make his stupid curry again collaspe into a life so messed up by...

..by what , really? Feelings?

Tokitoh uttered a bitter laugh. Wasn't feelings supposed to be the one thing that never got between friendship? The irony wasn't lost on him.

He stopped banging his forehead against the floor and curled himself up into a sitting position, hunching over his hugged knees and rocking slowly back and forth.

How am I supposed to face Kubo-chan now?

Tokyo was overflowing with people. Why, out of all those people, why did the person he fall in love with have to be his closest friend?

People fall in and out of love about as frequently as the news is reported.And when they did, what was the extent of their loss? Love, probably. Trust, self-esteem, security......possibly even virginity.

But that was all.

It's different for us.

It would be different. Yes, there would be a lot that he would lose if Kubota ever left. He would lose love, trust and so on...but he would also lose the one and only person who had ever bothered to know him; the only person who saw him as something more than what he appeared to be; the only person who sensed his moods, his discomforts, his everything.

He wouldn't just be losing a lover......he would be losing the only friend he had ever had.

And if that happened.....Tokitoh didn't think he would ever be able to pick himself up again.


----

Kubota pushed open the bedroom door and closed it softly behind him. The boy sitting on the floor didn't even blink.

Kubota stared at his friend, slightly amused at how small Tokitoh could make himself look when he curled himself up like that.

Kubota walked over and sat down in front of the boy. Tokitoh still didn't blink; his eyes remained glazed over in slight pain, as if he was trying to recuperate from a loss.



No movement. Not even a sign that he had heard.



Still nothing.

Kubota placed his hands down and leaned forward until his was staring directly into those glazed over eyes. Tokitoh, stop daydreaming.

Tokitoh drew back so fast he had to place his hands on the floor behind him to mantain balance. He blinked a couple of times and coughed out the only thing he could,

Kubota lit a cigarrette and inhaled deeply , What were you thinking of?

Tokitoh, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at their close distance, moved back, No-nothing really.

Kubota exhaled a puff of smoke, Was it about Fujiwara and how much you hate him?

No! I said it was nothing.

Hm...then it must have been about how you want me to quit dropping ashes over the floor.

No..its nothing.

Ahh, was it about which teacher's desk the upcoming test papers are kept in? If i'm not wrong, a few people were saying in the hall that it's probably Hashiya-sensei's---

Tokitoh felt all thoughts of romance flit out the window. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME??!! I SAID IT WAS--- Kubota intercepted.

Tokitoh stared. Kubota smiled and lifted the cigarrette to his lips, It couldn't have been nothing Tokitoh. You looked upset.

A dull ache slammed itself against his ribcage. Kubo-chan....of course iIm upset. The one person I want to love me is the one person who never should.

Tokitoh took a deep breath and clutched at the end of his slightly too long shirt. That was when he realised that he was wearing Kubota's shirt....I must have took it by mistake...Pushing down against the sudden uncharacteristic urge to cry, Tokitoh raised his eyes to face his closest, most treasured friend.

He had to say it now. He had to say it to Kubo-chan's face . It was the least he could do in return for all the times Kubo-chan had stayed by his side. It was the least....



He had to say it. The words would taste like blood in his mouth but he woud say it. He had to. It was the least he could do.



It was the very least.

I hope that Kubo-chan will find happiness with someone he loves.

Tokioth dropped his head, his heart pounding numbly. Other then the clicking sound of Kubota's lighter, the small room was silent.

click..

click..

I already have, Tokitoh.

Tokitoh lifted his head blankly , what..?

click. I already have found happiness with someone I love. click.

The numbness slowly faded away from Tokitoh's body, replacing itself with pain. Empty pain. He didn't answer. Simply remained sitting there.

click.

...I see. Tokitoh finally said. In one swift motion, he reached across and pulled Kubota's lighter out of his hand. Your lighter's probably spoilt, I'll go buy you a new one--



The boy stopped at the doorway, keeping his back faced to his friend.

Are you happy?

That was all it took. Just that one simple question.

Tokitoh asked back, his voice bearing none of the bitterness that was filling the void in his heart. He kept his back turned. Of course I'm happy. I already told you, I want Kubo-chan to find happiness with someone he loves. Of course I'm happy.

Why shouldn't I be happy?

Kubo-chan deserves to have someone by his side.

You deserve to be happy.

I'm happy for you.

Kubota asked, standing behind the shorter boy and placing a hand against the door . He asked again.

Tokitoh swallowed, feeling the hot breath of his friend against his ear.


It happened too fast. Too fast for Tokitoh to comprehend what was coming. One minute, he was striving relentlessly not to give in to his emotions, and the next he was leaning against Kubota, feeling his body weaken against the gentle pressure of his friend's hot mouth on his.

And as fast as it started, it ended. But Tokioth remained leaning against Kubota, listening to the rhythmic heartbeat of the taller boy.

You, more than anybody, should know who I love. Kubota said after a span of silence. The head against his chest bobbed slowly in a small nod. What about you? Kubota continued. Are you happy with someone you love?

Tokitoh looked up , ...I am. And I now know that that person is happy too but..

But what?

Tokitoh adverted his gaze to the ground, his hands unconsciously forming fists. But that person and I have a risk of losing a lot of things. I don't mean material possesions, I mean things like...like trust..and friendship and..

Kubota injected. So that's what you were thinking about just now. I thought you said it was nothing.

Tokitoh glared, I just knew you wouldn't get it...



Another glare,

Kubota gave a soft chuckle, You yourself said that that person is happy with you. Isn't that alone enough reason to be with that person?

Tokitoh stared at the floor. Kubo-chan was right. No matter what cruel ending their relationship may lead them to, along the way there, they would be happy. Wasn't that what mattered?

Tokitoh raised his eyes to face his friend, his trademark smirk working its way onto his features, If we do end up losing a lot, that person better not blame me.

Kubota smiled, Don't worry, he won't.

-end-

yeah, i know, what sort of crappy ending is that? but come on, i'm gonna leave it up to your own taste and imagination to continue where i left off^_^