*sigh* OK! I think you get the idea! They are not mine! And if you
have read this far I am assuming you like slash fics so just to say this is
more of that.
And to the people who have reviewed... love you all!! *loves reviews*
- Chapter 5 -
Remus stirred. Sirius was lying behind him, arms about his stomach. He could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as the taller man slept. Remus could not believe how amazingly the previous day had turned out. He turned so he could watch Sirius sleeping but caught sight of the sheets as he did so. Wow. They really should have had a shower before getting into the bed. The previously white sheets were streaked with black dirt. Remus grinned. Well, he would just have to wash them after he had dragged Sirius into the shower. Though with the obvious feel of Sirius' body's early morning response he would not take much dragging...
Remus pressed his lower back against his lover and moved slightly. Sirius' moan brought about Remus' own body's reaction. He moved more urgently. Suddenly Sirius' arms tightened around him, stopping the movement.
"You'd better mean to follow through what you start Moony." The voice came gruff with sleep and lust, but the teasing note clear. Remus grinned more. Then he rolled away.
"In the shower." He laughed at Sirius' look of abandonment before the dark man stood up and lead him through to the bathroom.
Remus towelled himself off, surreptitiously watching Sirius pull on a white muggle T-shirt. He admired the way the muscles moved under the now clean skin. Was there a time when he had ever felt such desire for another? He could not remember even feeling this strongly. A sudden thought occurred to him.
"Sirius? Why are you putting muggle clothes on?" Remus was still standing naked, but Sirius had jeans and the T-shirt on.
Sirius looked up. "Well, we're going to be going into Kinlochard right?" Remus frowned. Why would they be going into the town? Remus watched Sirius grin at him.
"Werewolf? Not you? Running about the forest?" Sirius pointed out the window. Remus clicked. The she-wolf!! He had completely forgotten. Sirius laughed at him as he pulled out muggle clothing to put on too. He kept a good supply for emergencies. Remus ran through the implications in his mind. A she-wolf, obviously from Kinlochard. She could have caused some major damage, even if this was just her first night. Then there was the wolf that had changed her... Remus shook his head. A mess.
"I'm going to send an owl to Dumbledore. I'll tell him we're going to find out who the wolf is, where she came from. Do you know what this means Sirius?" Sirius nodded. He looked grave.
"Trouble."
Remus followed Sirius down the stairs. They had decided that Sirius would send the note, not wanting to admit that Remus had roamed free during the full moon. Remus set about making some breakfast. He could see Sirius out through the window with his owl Shay waiting for the letter next to him. He had to admit that he looked good in muggle clothing. The way the jeans hung from his hips, the way the top suited his broad shoulders. Remus shook his head and pulled some bacon out of the fridge. He had not really eaten the day before, though the wolf in him usually demanded meat the day after the full moon. Time to make up for it.
Remus thought back to the day about two weeks ago when Sirius had arrived. Had he known even then that he would end up sharing a bed with him? Sleeping with him? Telling him he loved him? Remus sat down as the bacon and sausages cooked. Did he love Sirius? Well of course he did, Sirius was his closest friend. He snorted. His best friend was a man he had seen for 3 weeks in the last 13 years. He smiled slightly. Was that why he had been able to put aside 12 years of hatred so easily? And why it had been so easy to accept Sirius into his bed? An uncomfortable thought surfaced in his mind. Was it guilt? Did he feel guilty enough about not 'knowing' that Sirius was innocent that he was overcompensating? Remus again looked out of the window at the dark-haired man, leaning over some parchment with a quill. A thrill went through his body and the arch of his back, the line of his chest and shoulders. No. There was definitely attraction.
'But do I love him?' Remus thought again. He loved Sirius, but was he 'in' love with him? Remus rubbed his hands over his face. If he was in love it would mean accepting Sirius as his mate. Together forever. It would mean telling the world that he was in love with a man. A man! Remus could still not make his head comprehend that although he adored women, the one consistent attraction he had carried since school was for this man. And was that why he was doing this now? Was it just to try and reclaim that happiness he had felt at Hogwarts?
Remus got up and turned the bacon, pulling out some gammon to throw in too. He paused to think, then fetched the eggs too. He needed a good amount of food and it would not do Sirius any harm either. Remus felt guilty for thinking these thoughts. He should be grinning happily, whistling little tunes and looking giddy. That was how people in love acted! But he could not. No. Since he was bitten Remus could not afford to be like others, and was not like them. He had been shunned and hated his whole life, was he ready to give those people more ammunition?
Sirius walked back in through the door interrupting further thoughts. He had a half-smile playing on his lips. Remus cocked an eyebrow.
"Your owl." Sirius said, as if in explanation. Sirius chuckled. "She likes to clean my hair. It was amusing." Sirius shrugged. He walked around the table and put his arm on Remus' waist, leaning in to kiss him. Remus turned slightly, as if to check the food, so the kiss hit his cheek instead. He could see Sirius' look of puzzlement and smiled to try and put him at ease. If was having second thoughts did he really want to let things go any further than they had? It was not fair to do that to Sirius.
Sirius sat down, leaning on the table, looking at Remus. Then he sat back.
"OK Moony. What's wrong." Remus knew he must look slightly shaken. Even if Sirius had noticed something was wrong, in his present state Remus had not thought he would ask so soon. "Come on. I know you. I know that look. You're worrying."
Remus set about serving the breakfast, keeping his back to the other man. "It's nothing Sirius. I'm just worried about this other wolf." Could Sirius still read him like he used to? Close to the full moon the two men had always shared an almost preternatural sense with each other. They had chalked it down to Sirius' shared canine tendencies. Would it still be the same?
"Bullshit." Obviously it would. Remus turned to look at Sirius who looked angry. "Don't lie to me Remus. You're having second thoughts." Remus sighed. He picked up the two plates and set them down on the table, one in front of Sirius and the other where he sat down.
"Maybe I am."
Sirius watched him as he ate a small slice of bacon. " Why?" Well that was the appropriate question. Why. Remus felt himself growing angry, though he knew he was just being defensive.
"Because I'm allowed to Sirius OK? Not everything is black and white." Remus ate some more of his breakfast savagely. He was definitely angry now.
Sirius put down his fork. "No. Moony, but some things 'are' black and white. Either you want this, or you don't. It really is as simple as that. I've told you exactly how I feel."
Remus stopped eating as well. "Yes you have. But this is easier for you. You've had a long time to come to terms with your feelings. I hadn't even let myself realise I had any feelings for you until just over 24 hours ago!!"
"I get it Moony. It's quick. But that just means that we take it slowly, one step at a time. We don't back out completely." Sirius' tone held a pleading note along with the anger. Remus wanted to kiss him and tell him that everything would be all right, but he did not know that it would.
"It's not just that. There are other things." Remus stopped but Sirius just waited for him to elucidate. "You are a man."
Sirius sat back. "Oh. Right. So that is what this is really about. Your homophobic side is rearing its head."
"No! That's not true! I have no problems with you being a man, it's just... other people will." Remus felt some of the anger drain away. Now that he had said the words out loud they seemed so petty and inconsequential.
"What!? Who cares what other people think!" Sirius looked incredulous. Remus' indignation grew again.
"I do! I've been hated and outcast all my life Sirius. What people think of me is the bane of my life OK?" He paused briefly. "And you can't say you don't care... you hate that people think you murdered anyone!"
Sirius stood up, waving his fork in the air. "That's because I didn't!!" He almost yelled, exasperated. "There is a difference between wanting people to know that you are not a mass murderer and caring what they think about you falling in love, even if the other person is a man!" Sirius stopped and looked up at his hand, fork held high in the air. A grin broke across his face. Remus had to admit that he looked ridiculous, like a culinary Shakespearean. The thought made Remus snort. Suddenly the two of them were howling in laughter, the tension melting away. When they stopped Sirius came and crouched in front of where Remus was sitting. He looked up at him, pleading in his eyes.
"Please Moony. You are my best friend. You are the most wonderful person I know and I am hugely attracted to you. I know you are attracted to me too, so where's the wrong in any of that?" Remus stayed quiet, listening. "If people already hate you for being a werewolf, who cares if they hate you a little more for being in love with the 'wrong' gender?" Remus grinned at Sirius' attempt at humour. He could just imagine someone like Lucius Malfoy, indignant enough already about his lycanthropy, bursting something when being told that he was sleeping with Sirius Black. Remus laughed slightly. He leaned forward and kissed Sirius, feeling the man's answering grin.
"But we take it slowly OK?" Sirius nodded happy agreement and sat back at the table to finish eating.
"Of course." He grinned, so much the confident school boy. "So do you want to know what I put in the letter?" Remus nodded. Sirius read it out. "'Dear Professor Dumbledore, On the night of the full moon two nights ago I encountered another werewolf, a she-wolf. As I was able to transform I was not harmed, but speaking with Remus the next day we have both decided it is necessary to find out who she is, why she was roaming free, and who she was bitten by. We will correspond with you so you can inform the registry to visit if they are not already licensed, but I thing you will agree that our contacting them directly would put me in danger of being caught. We will, of course, maintain the utmost of secrecy. Yours Sincerely, Sirius.'" Sirius looked up and grinned.
"Wow. Very well written. Not at all like you..." Remus teased.
Sirius grinned. "I wanted him to think you've been a good influence on me." Remus whistled and Shay flew in through the window. He fastened the letter to her and told her to deliver it to Dumbledore alone. She hooted and flew off. The two men finished their breakfast and washed up. Remus checked all of the windows were closed and that he had enough muggle money. They might not be back for a few days.
**************
A/N Is that a review box I doth see below?! Why yes! it is! ;) I won't be updating every day because I have my final year project due in in less than a week so I really should work on that instead...but keep checking!! We're still only at the beginning!! Enjoy!
And to the people who have reviewed... love you all!! *loves reviews*
- Chapter 5 -
Remus stirred. Sirius was lying behind him, arms about his stomach. He could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as the taller man slept. Remus could not believe how amazingly the previous day had turned out. He turned so he could watch Sirius sleeping but caught sight of the sheets as he did so. Wow. They really should have had a shower before getting into the bed. The previously white sheets were streaked with black dirt. Remus grinned. Well, he would just have to wash them after he had dragged Sirius into the shower. Though with the obvious feel of Sirius' body's early morning response he would not take much dragging...
Remus pressed his lower back against his lover and moved slightly. Sirius' moan brought about Remus' own body's reaction. He moved more urgently. Suddenly Sirius' arms tightened around him, stopping the movement.
"You'd better mean to follow through what you start Moony." The voice came gruff with sleep and lust, but the teasing note clear. Remus grinned more. Then he rolled away.
"In the shower." He laughed at Sirius' look of abandonment before the dark man stood up and lead him through to the bathroom.
Remus towelled himself off, surreptitiously watching Sirius pull on a white muggle T-shirt. He admired the way the muscles moved under the now clean skin. Was there a time when he had ever felt such desire for another? He could not remember even feeling this strongly. A sudden thought occurred to him.
"Sirius? Why are you putting muggle clothes on?" Remus was still standing naked, but Sirius had jeans and the T-shirt on.
Sirius looked up. "Well, we're going to be going into Kinlochard right?" Remus frowned. Why would they be going into the town? Remus watched Sirius grin at him.
"Werewolf? Not you? Running about the forest?" Sirius pointed out the window. Remus clicked. The she-wolf!! He had completely forgotten. Sirius laughed at him as he pulled out muggle clothing to put on too. He kept a good supply for emergencies. Remus ran through the implications in his mind. A she-wolf, obviously from Kinlochard. She could have caused some major damage, even if this was just her first night. Then there was the wolf that had changed her... Remus shook his head. A mess.
"I'm going to send an owl to Dumbledore. I'll tell him we're going to find out who the wolf is, where she came from. Do you know what this means Sirius?" Sirius nodded. He looked grave.
"Trouble."
Remus followed Sirius down the stairs. They had decided that Sirius would send the note, not wanting to admit that Remus had roamed free during the full moon. Remus set about making some breakfast. He could see Sirius out through the window with his owl Shay waiting for the letter next to him. He had to admit that he looked good in muggle clothing. The way the jeans hung from his hips, the way the top suited his broad shoulders. Remus shook his head and pulled some bacon out of the fridge. He had not really eaten the day before, though the wolf in him usually demanded meat the day after the full moon. Time to make up for it.
Remus thought back to the day about two weeks ago when Sirius had arrived. Had he known even then that he would end up sharing a bed with him? Sleeping with him? Telling him he loved him? Remus sat down as the bacon and sausages cooked. Did he love Sirius? Well of course he did, Sirius was his closest friend. He snorted. His best friend was a man he had seen for 3 weeks in the last 13 years. He smiled slightly. Was that why he had been able to put aside 12 years of hatred so easily? And why it had been so easy to accept Sirius into his bed? An uncomfortable thought surfaced in his mind. Was it guilt? Did he feel guilty enough about not 'knowing' that Sirius was innocent that he was overcompensating? Remus again looked out of the window at the dark-haired man, leaning over some parchment with a quill. A thrill went through his body and the arch of his back, the line of his chest and shoulders. No. There was definitely attraction.
'But do I love him?' Remus thought again. He loved Sirius, but was he 'in' love with him? Remus rubbed his hands over his face. If he was in love it would mean accepting Sirius as his mate. Together forever. It would mean telling the world that he was in love with a man. A man! Remus could still not make his head comprehend that although he adored women, the one consistent attraction he had carried since school was for this man. And was that why he was doing this now? Was it just to try and reclaim that happiness he had felt at Hogwarts?
Remus got up and turned the bacon, pulling out some gammon to throw in too. He paused to think, then fetched the eggs too. He needed a good amount of food and it would not do Sirius any harm either. Remus felt guilty for thinking these thoughts. He should be grinning happily, whistling little tunes and looking giddy. That was how people in love acted! But he could not. No. Since he was bitten Remus could not afford to be like others, and was not like them. He had been shunned and hated his whole life, was he ready to give those people more ammunition?
Sirius walked back in through the door interrupting further thoughts. He had a half-smile playing on his lips. Remus cocked an eyebrow.
"Your owl." Sirius said, as if in explanation. Sirius chuckled. "She likes to clean my hair. It was amusing." Sirius shrugged. He walked around the table and put his arm on Remus' waist, leaning in to kiss him. Remus turned slightly, as if to check the food, so the kiss hit his cheek instead. He could see Sirius' look of puzzlement and smiled to try and put him at ease. If was having second thoughts did he really want to let things go any further than they had? It was not fair to do that to Sirius.
Sirius sat down, leaning on the table, looking at Remus. Then he sat back.
"OK Moony. What's wrong." Remus knew he must look slightly shaken. Even if Sirius had noticed something was wrong, in his present state Remus had not thought he would ask so soon. "Come on. I know you. I know that look. You're worrying."
Remus set about serving the breakfast, keeping his back to the other man. "It's nothing Sirius. I'm just worried about this other wolf." Could Sirius still read him like he used to? Close to the full moon the two men had always shared an almost preternatural sense with each other. They had chalked it down to Sirius' shared canine tendencies. Would it still be the same?
"Bullshit." Obviously it would. Remus turned to look at Sirius who looked angry. "Don't lie to me Remus. You're having second thoughts." Remus sighed. He picked up the two plates and set them down on the table, one in front of Sirius and the other where he sat down.
"Maybe I am."
Sirius watched him as he ate a small slice of bacon. " Why?" Well that was the appropriate question. Why. Remus felt himself growing angry, though he knew he was just being defensive.
"Because I'm allowed to Sirius OK? Not everything is black and white." Remus ate some more of his breakfast savagely. He was definitely angry now.
Sirius put down his fork. "No. Moony, but some things 'are' black and white. Either you want this, or you don't. It really is as simple as that. I've told you exactly how I feel."
Remus stopped eating as well. "Yes you have. But this is easier for you. You've had a long time to come to terms with your feelings. I hadn't even let myself realise I had any feelings for you until just over 24 hours ago!!"
"I get it Moony. It's quick. But that just means that we take it slowly, one step at a time. We don't back out completely." Sirius' tone held a pleading note along with the anger. Remus wanted to kiss him and tell him that everything would be all right, but he did not know that it would.
"It's not just that. There are other things." Remus stopped but Sirius just waited for him to elucidate. "You are a man."
Sirius sat back. "Oh. Right. So that is what this is really about. Your homophobic side is rearing its head."
"No! That's not true! I have no problems with you being a man, it's just... other people will." Remus felt some of the anger drain away. Now that he had said the words out loud they seemed so petty and inconsequential.
"What!? Who cares what other people think!" Sirius looked incredulous. Remus' indignation grew again.
"I do! I've been hated and outcast all my life Sirius. What people think of me is the bane of my life OK?" He paused briefly. "And you can't say you don't care... you hate that people think you murdered anyone!"
Sirius stood up, waving his fork in the air. "That's because I didn't!!" He almost yelled, exasperated. "There is a difference between wanting people to know that you are not a mass murderer and caring what they think about you falling in love, even if the other person is a man!" Sirius stopped and looked up at his hand, fork held high in the air. A grin broke across his face. Remus had to admit that he looked ridiculous, like a culinary Shakespearean. The thought made Remus snort. Suddenly the two of them were howling in laughter, the tension melting away. When they stopped Sirius came and crouched in front of where Remus was sitting. He looked up at him, pleading in his eyes.
"Please Moony. You are my best friend. You are the most wonderful person I know and I am hugely attracted to you. I know you are attracted to me too, so where's the wrong in any of that?" Remus stayed quiet, listening. "If people already hate you for being a werewolf, who cares if they hate you a little more for being in love with the 'wrong' gender?" Remus grinned at Sirius' attempt at humour. He could just imagine someone like Lucius Malfoy, indignant enough already about his lycanthropy, bursting something when being told that he was sleeping with Sirius Black. Remus laughed slightly. He leaned forward and kissed Sirius, feeling the man's answering grin.
"But we take it slowly OK?" Sirius nodded happy agreement and sat back at the table to finish eating.
"Of course." He grinned, so much the confident school boy. "So do you want to know what I put in the letter?" Remus nodded. Sirius read it out. "'Dear Professor Dumbledore, On the night of the full moon two nights ago I encountered another werewolf, a she-wolf. As I was able to transform I was not harmed, but speaking with Remus the next day we have both decided it is necessary to find out who she is, why she was roaming free, and who she was bitten by. We will correspond with you so you can inform the registry to visit if they are not already licensed, but I thing you will agree that our contacting them directly would put me in danger of being caught. We will, of course, maintain the utmost of secrecy. Yours Sincerely, Sirius.'" Sirius looked up and grinned.
"Wow. Very well written. Not at all like you..." Remus teased.
Sirius grinned. "I wanted him to think you've been a good influence on me." Remus whistled and Shay flew in through the window. He fastened the letter to her and told her to deliver it to Dumbledore alone. She hooted and flew off. The two men finished their breakfast and washed up. Remus checked all of the windows were closed and that he had enough muggle money. They might not be back for a few days.
**************
A/N Is that a review box I doth see below?! Why yes! it is! ;) I won't be updating every day because I have my final year project due in in less than a week so I really should work on that instead...but keep checking!! We're still only at the beginning!! Enjoy!
