Chapter Eleven

The Decision

Reign was walking again.  Walking through the halls of Hogwarts.  Walking passed the gossiping portraits and the extravagant tapestries and the nervous students and the enormous windows.  Everything was there, but it was all a blur to her.  She was running now.  Only it was a clumsy run.  She was going nowhere and on her way there things kept popping up in her way.  It was an overly dramatic run.  She passed the corridors that led to other parts of the castle and passed the main stairwell and finally she slowed down.  All that was in front of her now was a wall.  This was the end.  She spun around.  She was now in a remote part of the castle.  There was no one around.  No one to notice her, to stare at her.  No one to see her cry.

So she backed up against the wall and slid slowly down to the floor.  Her hands held her face as she wept into them.  She wrapped her arms around her knees and wept into them.  Then she lifted her head and rested it against the wall, and wept against the heavy air of the corridor.  Her mind was racing.

What am I doing?  This was such a mistake.  I can't handle this.  Not after what I've been through.  I'm not invincible.  I can't change anything.  Nothing will ever be the same, why did I think it could?  This was a mistake.  I don't belong here.  I should leave.  I should just leave.

She wiped the final tears from her cheek and lifted herself up off the ground.  The corridor was dimly lit as she made her way back down it.  She was heading toward her rooms.  She walked slowly, gracefully now.  She had made up her mind.  She was determined now.  She didn't care if she ran into anything or anyone.  She was on a mission. 

I'll just go back to my rooms, get my stuff.  Leave Albus a note.  Walk out of their lives forever.  That's the way it has to be.  I'll just leave.

She got to her rooms and went quickly to gather her things.  All her new clothing she shrunk and put into her money pouch.  She threw on her tank top, skirt, pants, boots, and belt.  She strapped her sword to her back and her dagger to her thigh.  She strode to the bathroom to gather up the rest of her things.  When she glanced into the mirror she stopped.  She looked like her old self again.  Her elvin self.  Her eyes drifted to her saphie and she put a finger to her emerald.  She did not belong at Hogwarts.  She belonged in the outside world, amongst the trees and the sunlight.  She tore away from the mirror and scribbled a quick note to Albus, apologizing and thanking him.  After tossing it on the bed she bounded to the door.  She would not look back.  She would not linger and let all the memories flood back to her.  She would not doubt her decision.

She knew she had not thoroughly planned out what she was about to do.  Where was she going to go?  Who was she kidding?  She wouldn't last.  But it didn't matter.  She had to get away. 

She walked stealthily through the castle, taking back routes to avoid human contact.  When she reached the outside grounds she stopped to catch her breath.  The sun was shining on the stones of the castle as well as its surroundings.  Ripples could be seen from the lake.  The giant squid glided easily through the pitch-black waters.  Reign straightened up and headed in the direction of Hogsmeade.  Toward the sun.  It was close to sunset now, and the blinding light was right in her line of sight.  But she pushed on.  When she was close to the crest of the hill the light disappeared.  A large black figure blocked its way.  She put her hand up to try to get a better view. 

            "Hagrid?"  The giant walked slowly over the hill.  He was holding something in his hands.  Some sort of rope.  Reign's eyebrows were strung together.  Hagrid did not hear her, or was not acknowledging her.  She took a step forward, then stopped.  Another figure came from behind Hagrid.  An even larger figure.  A large, blond figure with four legs.

            "CYPRESS!"  Reign ran full speed to her horse.  She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face within it.  Her grasp was tight but the horse didn't mind.  "You made it out.  You got away.  You're alive," she whispered into the soft fur.  The animal rested its great head on her shoulder.  Reign pulled away and kissed the cheeks of the horse.  She stroked his muzzle as she turned to Hagrid.  He shifted in his stance and sniffed.  Reign walked over to him.  When she jumped up to give him a hug he caught her and held on.  "Thank you so much for finding him, Hagrid."

            "Oh, don' thank me.  I didn't find him.  Cypress 'ere found me."  He let her go and she fell gracefully to the ground.  The horse walked to the pair and playfully nudged Reign.  She put one arm around his neck and laid her head against his.  It was then that Hagrid noticed her attire.

            "Goin' somewhere?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.  Reign looked down and let go of the horse.  She let her arms fall to her side as she brought her head back up to Hagrid's.  Now that she had her horse she was more confident about leaving.  She would not let him change her mind.

            "I'm leaving, Hagrid.  I can't stay here."  She watched as his face fell and his heart sank. 

            "But...ye can't.  Ye...ye jus' got 'ere."  He was stuttering as he protested.  Reign placed her hand on his heaving chest.

            "I have to go.  I don't belong here."

            "Yes ye do!" he bellowed.  Reign stepped back.  The giant stepped forward and took her miniature hand in his.  "If this is because of Severus--" She yanked her hand away.

            "Yes, it is because of him.  But it's not just him."  She paused.  "It's everything, Hagrid.  I just need time.  Just time."  She looked up to his soft black eyes.  "Please just let me go in peace."  He turned away.  He didn't want her to leave.  He looked back to her pleading eyes.  And he sighed.

            "All right."  Reign smiled.  They stood awkwardly for a moment and then Hagrid started again.  "But will ye have a quick cup a tea b'fore ye go?"  Reign looked to the sky.

            "I should really go before it gets too dark out."

            "Please, Reign.  Jus' one."  The elf clicked her tongue and stroked Cypress' muzzle.  The horse's eyes drooped.

            "I guess Cypress could use a rest before he starts back up again."  The animal nodded its heavy head at her suggestion.  She turned to Hagrid, raised her pointer finger into the air, and said in a very stern voice, "Just one."  The giant nodded.  They headed back to Hagrid's hut.  A giant, an elf, and her horse.  Just one, she had said.  Hagrid smiled to himself.  One cup of tea can last a very long time.