Disclaimer: Here we are again with the usual, grovelling and 'please don't sue me!' stuff! I don't own any of Tenchi or it's multiverses/counterpart series. Tenchi is marvellous and those who created and distributed it are geniuses and I sincerely hope that they welcome this latest offering of awesome respect. Therefore thanx and respect go to Masaki Kajishima, AIC and Pioneer.

Reviews and comments are always welcome! Share your thoughts at mccpcorn@hotmail.com! ^_^

A QUICK RECAP

Washu's latest scheme to extract a 'sample' from Tenchi has gone haywire thanks to a last minute intervention by Ryoko. The result has been everyone in the house having their personality transplanted into someone else's body:

Ryoko is now in Sasami's body. (Usually called Ryoko/Sasami in the story)

Sasami is in Kiyone's body. (Sasami/Kiyone)

Kiyone has found herself stuck in Tenchi's body. (Kiyone/Tenchi)

Tenchi now occupies Mihoshe's body. (Tenchi/Mihoshe)

Mihoshe is getting drunk in Ryoko's body. (Mihoshe/Ryoko)

Washu has swapped bodies with Ayeka. (Washu/Ayeka & Ayeka/Washu)

Noboyuki was - rather fortunately - out of town after driving Katsuhito to a conference, and Ryo-Ohki was out in the Carrot Field raiding the harvest.

And if you're not confused enough already, don't worry - you will be!

On with the show...

Tenchi Muyo: Changing Faces
---------------------------

By Mccpcorn

CHAPTER THREE: Music and Whine
===============================

Not for the first time, Washu was glad none of her equipment was coded solely to her genetic code.

As a scientist, Washu believed in freedom of information. She also believed in easy access to that information and regarded most protective security procedures as miserly. She herself tended to employ massive computation indexes as her own security; simple enough in itself - IF you could crack the code.

Considering she was currently working out of Ayeka's body, Washu was extremely grateful for this foresight. Ayeka was now in Washu's body, and the thought of having the princess in the lab for the sole purpose of activating this machine or that apparatus was enough to make even the universe's greatest scientific genius wince.

Washu had long since given up trying to move around in Ayeka's restricive dress and had changed into a tight, figure hugging jumpsuit. It's fetching red colour contrasted well with the violet hair of the Jurian Crown Princess. After all, Washu thought cheerfully to herself, just because I'm the greatest scientific genius in the universe doesn't mean I have no sense of style! Oh, Washu! You can be SOOOO sexy sometimes!

Washu smiled to herself as her fingers flew over her holographic keyboard. Back at the Science Acadamy, one of her first tutors had explained how the melodies and composition of music were not all that dissimilar from the theories and practices of an experiment.

'Scientists ARE musicians,' he had told the assembled students. 'Like any great artist, we are dreamers, and our dreams challenge the universe around us. And like any great piece of art, our works shape the lives of millions. Remember that in your work. See the melodies within the theories and the subatomic structures. Your compositions will make millions cry with joy; go out there and make beautiful music.'

Washu had been moved enough to try her hands at all different musical instruments. Not surprisingly, she'd found that she aspired best to being a pianist. If I can handle a grand piano, she remembered telling herself at the time, then a multi-input keyboard shouldn't be a problem!

Washu was by no means wasting effort with this line of thought. The mild banter served to distract her from the growing sense of concern she was feeling for the others, enabling the scientist to concentrate on the situation at hand dispassionately.

Something was wrong with everyone. They were not acting themselves.

That was to be expected, given how everyone had suddenly found their personality shoved into someone else's body. But it was running deeper than that.

Washu still needed more data to be sure though, and in the meantime she had to repair the Personality Transference Transceiver.

'Trouble?' Kiyone asked from her side.

Washu suppressed a flash of annoyance. Kiyone, currently occupying Tenchi's body, had been something less than a success for the scientist.

She'd tried it all. The nurse's outfit; a schoolgirl's uniform. Washu had even tried dressing up as a policewoman. It had been a complete waste of effort.

Either Washu was losing her touch - no way it could be THAT, she told herself - or Ayeka's body lacked sex appeal (a distinct possibility, Washu thought, but unlikely), or something else had been to blame.

Whatever the reasoning, the incident had been unusual enough to warrant further investigation.

The fact that Kiyone's personality had undergone a change of gender was only the tip of the iceberg. Not only was Kiyone's personality female and not given over to... such things, she was also beset by hormones and other biological nuisances unique to males. The result had left Kiyone with a libido so low that, if it could be measured in negative figures, would leave Tenchi's body about forty below.

Washu had been concerned enough by this line of reasoning to begin a thorough and in-depth analysis of the others in the Masaki household. And only now was she begnning to realise the gravity of their situation.

'I'm not satisfied with the stability of the personality transference,' Washu answered Kiyone's question. 'But I can't monitor everyone AND repair the machine at the same time. Could you take over for me?'

Washu vacated the cushion and Kiyone sat down. 'What am I looking for?' Kiyone asked, ever the professional in whatever she applied herself to.

Washu shrugged. 'Just use your common sense. Imagine the people you know and how they usually act. Then make a note of each time they act in a way you deem is out of character for them. I'll check your notes in a little while and see if I can establish a pattern. Then I may be able to make a better job of stablising us.'

Washu turned back to the PTT, rolling up her sleeves as she did so. She paused long enough to look at Ayeka's dirty hands; the grazes on the knuckles; the burn on the left palm; the dirt under the broken nails.

Man, Ayeka is going to KILL me...

* * *

Tenchi was now more convinced (and worried) than ever that having his personality stuck inside Mihoshe's body was hazardous to his health.

Sasami had assured him that he hadn't broken - er - Mihoshe's nose when he'd walked into the kitchen door, but he was counting the minutes till he was out of the Galaxy Police officer's body and safely back into his own. But on the plus side, he wasn't in any pain and Mihoshe's nose wasn't even swollen.

Maybe Mihoshe's people have a particularly high tolerance to pain, he wondered with a smile.

Sure that Sasami would be alright now, Tenchi closed the door to the kitchen and moved into the living room. Sasami was seemingly adapting to her situation better than anyone else. That may have been because children were naturally resiliant, but perhaps also due in part to the fact that she'd ended up in Kiyone's body - who, after the young princess, was probably the next most stable person in the house.

However, that did little to improve his mood. He'd managed to comfort the young princess about her own predicament, but only at the expense of heightening his private concerns over his own.

As he turned away from the kitchen, Tenchi found that predicament emphasised once more as he almost walked into a small, blue haired figure trotting past him into the living room.

'Hi Sasami - Ryoko, I mean.'

'Yo.'

Tenchi's eyes followed the pirate-in-a-princess' body. It was especially eiree, having just been talking to Sasami in the kitchen. As he watched, Ryoko hopped onto the couch, grabbed the remote, and switched on the TV. In her other hand was a rather familiar looking bottle...

'Um... Ryoko...?' Tenchi began in Mihoshe's hesitant voice.

'Hmm? What?' Ryoko answered absently in Sasami's high voice as she poured herself some sake.

Ayeka finished Tenchi's question for him: 'You're not going to DRINK!?'

Tenchi/Mihoshe couldn't supress the 'Eeek!' at the sudden, strident words of the Crown Princess of Jurai - in the characteristic, clipped tones of the universe's greatest scientific genius.

Ryoko paused amid downing the sake. She stared into the dish a moment, made a face, followed by a shrug. 'I guess not,' she replied, pouring the contents back into the bottle.

Tenchi breathed a quiet sigh of relief at the painless resolution to the dispute. 'Yeah, well, I'm - um - off for a bath.'

Ryoko/Sasami gave Tenchi a wicked look. 'Didn't take you long, did it?'

'Don't say things like that!!' Tenchi snapped in Mihoshe's voice. I need to relax!'

'Yeah, well, I could do with some relaxing too!' Ryoko/Sasami swivelled around, kneeling on the couch. 'Wanna scrub my back?' she asked playfully.

Blank looks were offered in reply; Ryoko's face fell as remembered whose body she was in - and whose body she was speaking to.

'Ah - maybe not,' she finished dejectly as she turned back to the TV.

Tenchi also turned, hearing the sound of the glass doors being opened. He hung on long enough to see Ryoko - now Mihoshe - swagger in, as if a little unsure of her footing.

Ryoko/Sasami glared at her with hard, pink eyes. 'Is that sake!?' she demanded, pointing to the bottle Mihoshe/Ryoko carried.

'Yesh,' Mihoshe replied, trying to walk with the kind of dignity only a drunk can master. At these words, Tenchi chose to beat a hasty exit from the room, leaving the three - um, women - to argue culpabilities amongst themselves.

'Mihoshe!' Ayeka exclaimed - in Washu's body - 'That body is NOT your property! Now I know you and Ryoko both have a reputation for putting it away -'

'Hey!' Sasami snapped.

'- but no matter how badly pickled Ryoko's body is -'

'HEY!!'

'- it gives you no right to make things worse!'

Mihoshe burst out laughing.

Ayeka's expression darkened. 'I fail to see what is so amusing,' she growled.

Mihoshe giggled. 'Ish nothing,' she slurred. 'Ish jus' that you soun' sooo stoopid talking like that in Washu's body.'

'This is NOT a joking matter!' Ayeka, her arms stiff at her sides and her upper body thrust forward, marched towards the pirate/police officer.

'Honestly!' the Crown Princess remarked with disgust. 'Ryoko sloshing it around is bad enough! But YOU-!' Ayeka/Washu's fists clenched in frustration. 'I've never seen such a flagrant disregard -' her eyes narrowed. 'ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?'

'Nope.' Mihoshe/Ryoko giggled again.

Ayeka/Washu ground her teeth. 'I have seen more professionalism in a TEABAG!!' Ayeka growled, biting out each word. 'You have absolutely NO sense of duty, or honour!! Where IS your sense of responsibility!?'

The change was as unexpected as it was startling. There was a flash in Mihoshe/Ryoko's eyes, and Ryoko's fangs gleamed white as she let out a vicious - almost animal-like - snarl.

'Pish off!' she snapped. 'Jus' PISH OFF! Yoursh really PISHING ME OFF!!' With a hiss of scorched air, Mihoshe activated Ryoko's energy sword. Ayeka found she had taken an involuntary step backwards.

Ryoko/Sasami's expression became one of alarm. 'Hey, hey,' the pirate said gently as she quickly came around the couch. 'Easy Mihoshe. Aeyka didn't mean it like that; she's just concerned about you - us.'

Mihoshe/Ryoko's face was stern, but her eyes were wide and glistening. 'Jus' tell her to leave me alone!' she sniffed. 'I dun nothin' to her. Little picky cow!'

Ryoko almost smiled at that, but her main concern was making sure Mihoshe didn't harm Washu's body. If anything like THAT happened, there was no telling how complicated the situation may become. Carefully, Ryoko/Sasami placed both hands around the arm of Mihoshe/Ryoko that clutched the sword.

It was, possibly, the oddest thing she had ever done. Looking up at herself, Ryoko's mind decided that Ryoko's body was one of the most intimidating sights she had ever encountered. While on one level she found that notion deeply satisfying, unwanted thoughts began scratching at the back of her mind.

Is this how the others see me? she wondered. Some arrogant prima-donna who cries like a spoilsport when she doesn't get her own way? Is it any wonder Tenchi jumps ten feet in the air when I so much as put my hand on his shoulder?

How does Sasami even LIKE me? Look at me! A tangled mass of green eyes and cyan hair!

AM I a monster...?

NO! she thought angrily to herself. I WONT believe it! Just LOOK at Ayeka there, all haughty and on her best Lady Muck behaviour! At least I consider my faults! Not her! Even now, she's not sorry she's reduced Mihoshe to a bag of nerves; she's just worried about her OWN skin! Being stuck in Washu's body has brought out the worst in BOTH people!

Ryoko shook off the thoughts as, without resistance, she gently lowered the arm and the sword snapped off.

'There,' she said in the best imitation of Sasami's warmth she could muster. 'All better now. Right, Ayeka?' Ryoko/Sasami gave the princess/scientist a pointed look.

'Yes,' she replied, absently, mechanically. 'All better. I'm sorry, Mihoshe; I overreacted. We are not ourselves today.'

Mihoshe looked on the verge of collapsing through a combination of exhaustion, emotion and alcohol. Ryoko/Sasami led her back to the couch.

'Listen,' she suggested. 'Tenchi just went to the bathroom. Why don't you go join him? I know how much you like it in there, and the steam'll help clear your head.'

'Don't WANT a clear head...'

'Whatever. But it'll make you sleep easier, too. You've not napped at all today, so you must be tired. A lie down will do you good. What do you say?'

For a few anxious moments, Mihoshe/Ryoko said nothing. Then, with a soft smile, she gathered Ryoko/Sasami up into her arms.

'Okay!' Mihoshe answered in a tired, but cheerful voice.

'GLURK!' exclaimed Ryoko.

Dropping the pirate/princess, Mihoshe stood and headed for the door. Ayeka went to help Ryoko/Sasami off the floor.

'I'm alright,' Ryoko muttered as she untangled Sasami's long hair from around her neck. 'Geez! These things are lethal...'

'It's not YOU I'm worried about, Ryoko!' Ayeka said pointedly.

With a a sharp, pink-eyed glare, Ryoko angrily shook off Ayeka's arm.

'Yeah? Well don't think I was worried about YOU, either!' Ryoko's reaction was one of frustration more than anything else. She needed to strike out at the absurdity of their situation and Ayeka had just been a convenient target, not that she would admit that to the princess.

Ryoko stalked back over to the couch and grabbed the remote again just as the door to the kitchen opened and Sasami/Kiyone's head poked through.

'What's going on? I heard raised voices.'

'NOTHING!' Ayeka and Ryoko said at once, delibrately looking away from one another.

Sasami/Kiyone's eyes narrowed. 'Are you two fighting again?'

'NO!' again, in unison.

Sasami/Kiyone sighed, then shrugged. 'Well dinner's going to be about an hour. Can you two keep from killing each other until then?'

It wasn't strictly the kind of remark that the Sasami Ryoko and Ayeka knew would make, but Sasami was finding it fun trying to act "in character" and thought it was the kind of thing Kiyone would say.

Unwittingly, it also served to defuse the tension in the room, as the remark caught both Ryoko and Ayeka off guard. There was a moment's awkward silence, followed by a muttered, 'sure,' from Ryoko/Sasami and a quiet 'yes,' from Ayeka/Washu. With an unconvinced sigh, Sasami/Kiyone shook her head and disappeared back inside the kitchen.

There was another moment's silence, punctuated by an interrogative cough.

'What?' Ryoko asked, eyes on the TV.

'I was wondering, about Mihoshe,' Ayeka asked hesitantly. 'When this is all over. I mean, you wont harm her, will you, Ryoko?'

Ryoko/Sasami let out a frustrated sigh. 'No, no,' she replied. 'No-ones been hurt. The worst that can happen is I'll have a bad hangover when I'm back in my own body. Besides,' her expression brightened. 'After all she's drunk she'll probably conk out soon. The more she sleeps the less chance she'll get into trouble.'

'Yes,' Ayeka agreed, looking towards the door Mihoshe had just left the room from. 'In fact, I actually think she is less clumsy when she's drunk.'

* * *

Back in the lab, Kiyone/Tenchi made her first observation of the day:

It's amazing, she thought, how transplanting a few personalities around into the nearby bodies of people they know well can turn them into lethal weapons...

END OF CHAPTER 3