Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo isn't mine. It belongs to Masaki Kajishima, AIC and Pioneer. This is just a humble fanfic written out of respect for a wonderful show. I hope they enjoy it as much as you do - so much so that they don't sue me. ^^;;
Want to review? Post your comments up at Fanfiction.net or send stuff to me at mccpcorn@hotmail.com
Opinions are ALWAYS welcome!
Tenchi Muyo: Changing Faces
---------------------------
By Mccpcorn
CHAPTER 17: END OF STORY?
=========================
'Are you SURE everything's been alright over there Tenchi?' Kashuhito's somewhat incredulous voice sounded over the telephone.
'Yes, Grandpa,' Tenchi assured the older man, trying to ignore the beading sweat on his own forehead. 'Everything's been just fine.'
There was a long LONG pause on the other end of the line; Tenchi was about to ask what time his father and grandpa would be getting home when Kashuito answered: 'Well... in that case your father and I will be setting off this evening; we'll be home sometime tomorrow afternoon. I expect everything to be in good order when I get back, mind! I'm sure you and the girls wouldn't DREAM of neglecting your chores while we were away.'
'No Grandpa.' Tenchi sweatdropped.
'And the shrine best be in top condition when I return as well!' Kashuhito persisted.
'It will be, Grandpa,' Tenchi assured him, making a mental note to ask Washu to repair the immense damage to the inside of the cave before Yosho got home. 'I'll let you get back to your packing. BYE!' Tenchi hastily put the phone down before his Grandpa could pin him down again.
A quiet, light chuckle from behind him made Tenchi turn. 'Ayeka?'
The Jurian attempted to stifle her obvious mirth. 'I take it the interroragtion is over?' she enquired innocently.
Tenchi sagged a little. 'He knows,' he said in a sour voice.
'He suspects,' Ayeka corrected. 'That is not the same thing. As long as all is in order when my brother returns, he will respect the... privacy of the event, and not question us.'
'Yeah well just once I'd like to have a PROPER break,' Tenchi groused. 'Why is it I always feel under the hammer, even when Grandpa ISN'T around?'
Ayeka almost smiled. 'My brother has alway been highly perceptive; it goes with his heritage, his upbringing, and his training.'
'Tell me about it,' Tenchi griped. 'As if we don't have ENOUGH stuff to sort out as it is.'
'Well it WAS only for a day,' Ayeka reminded him. 'The material damage was cosmetic and minimal; most of it has already been fixed. The... emotional side will take longer.'
'Yeah,' Tenchi replied absently, feeling the aura in the hall shift subtlely. Certain events that had taken place almost a week ago were still a touchy subject where Ayeka was concerned. 'Well I guess I'm going to find the others. Where are you headed?'
'I'm going to check on - Ryoko.' Ayeka almost stumbled over the name.
Tenchi gave the Crown Princess a warm "It'll be okay" kind of smile. 'Well I'll let you go then.'
'Yes. Thank you.' Ayeka bowed her head briefly before heading up the stairs.
Tenchi followed the princess' flowing form up the stairs, then turned and entered the living room. He realised how difficult the situation was for Ayeka, but even if he'd offered support the Jurian's own sense of personal honour would insist she deal with certain aspects alone.
What a crazy world we live in, he told himself wryly. Emphasis strongly on the WE bit...
As he passed into the living room, Tenchi heard voices coming from the kitchen: 'Here Kiyone.'
Tenchi glanced through the open serving hatch just long enough to glimpse a bandaged Sasami pass a collection of herbs to Kiyone. As he watched, the youngster stood next to the GP Officer as Kiyone took hold of the knife.
'It's easier to cut them length wise first,' Sasami explained. 'it helps to release the flavour more.'
'And after that I dice them, right?'
'Yep!' Sasami looked up at Kiyone and smiled. The First Class Detective responded in kind which led to Sasami giggling prettily. 'This is so much fun!' Sasami all but squealed. 'I never had such a good student before!'
Kiyone almost seemed to blush. 'Well you can't be expected to do ALL the work around here.'
Tenchi smiled and turned away to the patio doors. Yes, he decided. Things are gradually coming back to normal.
And with luck, they might even turn out a little BETTER than what passed for normal in the Masaki household.
* * *
Ayeka met Washu at the top of the landing. 'Washu,' she nodded in greeting. 'Is that Ryoko's lunch?'
'What's left of it,' Washu shrugged as she nodded at the empty bowls nestled on the tray she was carrying. 'You're going to see her, right?'
'Yes. Do - do you think she will be... amenable?' Aeyka asked hesitantly.
Washu shrugged again. 'She's quiet enough now. I wouldn't worry if I were you; I think busting my nose was enough for her.' Washu went momentarily crossed-eyed as she tried to look at her bandaged nose.
'That wasn't the reason I asked,' Ayeka replied, a little huffily. 'I just don't want to disturb her if she would prefer to be alone.'
'As you've preferred being this past week?' Washu replied pointedly.
Ayeka flushed. The scientist shook her head and sighed. 'Look, Ayeka, I guess I'll never stop apologising for what happened and the situation I put everyone in. I fully admit that being a genius doesn't make me perfect. I've made LOTS of mistakes in my time; a lot more than you have - or even Ryoko. But each and every time I've just had to pick myself up, dust myself down, and move on with my life. It's never been easy, but at the end of the day nothing
worthwhile ever is.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean that change and learning sometimes involves pain,' Washu explained. 'New challenges can be scary, but without them we can never hope to move beyond ourselves.'
'But where is the line drawn?' Ayeka answered in a quiet, frustrated voice. 'How many sacrifices does a person have to make in the name of discovery? When does the gain of what you may learn outweigh the risk?'
Washu knew what Ayeka was hinting at. The Crown Princess had been quietly tormenting herself over her actions for fully five days now. The accident had opened a rather nasty can of worms for Ayeka, and the princess hadn't liked what she'd learned about herself one bit.
'This isn't just some mindless scientist mantra, Aeyka,' Washu responded. 'It's REAL. Ordinary people out there have to face up to it everyday. And the more powerful we become, the harder it is to be challenged, which means the harder it becomes to learn stuff.'
'Which is why you made such a dreadful mistake?'
'Perhaps,' Washu allowed. 'But I'm not the only one.'
For a moment, Ayeka looked ready to argue. Instead, though, she merely dropped her gaze to the floor. 'Ayeka,' Washu said softly. 'What you learned about yourself, well you didn't like it. But that was the person that you WERE, not the person that you ARE. The cause of what made you do what you did - your pain - has been released now. And you've learned that simply locking your feelings up isn't going to solve your problems. It's a GOOD thing to face up to those feelings, but at the same time don't torture yourself with them. Don't let them take you prisoner.
'What you're about to face in that room ISN'T the challenge you think it is. You've already faced that challenge - and you passed it.'
Ayeka looked up with a pained expression. 'Then what challenge AM I facing in there?' she asked in a pleading whisper.
Washu returned the gaze levelly. 'The future.'
'The future?'
'Yes,' Washu smiled. 'The future you; the future Ryoko. The future of everyone here. It's all in that room. It wont be the first challenge you've faced, Ayeka, and it wont be the last. But you WONT face it alone; that I promise you. How's Sasami?'
Ayeka was taken slightly aback by the sudden change in topic. 'She's still a little sore,' she replied. 'But nothing the first aid kit couldn't handle. She's in the kitchen now, making supper.'
'I thought Kiyone was cooking tonight?' Washu asked. She herself had made Ryoko's supper.
'She is, but Sasami is with her. Sasami's decided to take on a student in case she's away or can't cook for us.'
Washu smiled. 'Sounds like her.'
Ayeka smiled shyly in return. 'Yes.' She moved past Washu. 'I appreciate your words, Washu, but now I think I had better get this over with.'
'Ayeka?'
Ayeka turned to Washu. 'Yes?'
Washu didn't turn to face her; she just stared straight ahead at the spot where she'd been. 'I want to thank you, Ayeka, for what you did. It couldn't have been easy setting your feelings for Ryoko aside like that, especially under the circumstances. None of us were exactly ourselves, and I know you were suffering more than most.'
'I did what was necessary for my sister,' Ayeka sniffed haughtily for a moment, then cast her eyes down. 'I feel great shame at my actions, Washu. I did no more than try to atone for them; I still feel I have not.'
'Up to and including lying to Ryoko?'
Ayeka stiffened. 'You KNEW?'
The Jurian fancied that she could almost hear Washu's smile. 'I was already part-way back to my own body by that time,' she replied. 'I must say it was an interesting tactic, pretending to be me to persuade Ryoko to take your hand.'
Ayeka felt the blood rush to her face. 'I - I had to do SOMETHING,' she explained desperately. 'The way Ryoko was reacting; well I didn't think she'd come with me any other way.'
'Ryoko in many ways has the mind of a child,' Washu reminded her, still not turning. 'And she was in the body of a child; like I said, the lines were blurred. Whether or not she truly believed you WERE you - or whether it was you pretending to be me - is irrelevant. She WANTED to believe, which is how most children try to shut out danger and comfort themselves. All she needed to pretend it was me was an excuse. You gave her that excuse.'
For a second, Ayeka thought she could feel a charge of emotion. 'I'm really rather envious,' Washu continued in a neutral voice that was clearly holding far too much back. 'You saw the real Ryoko, Ayeka. The Ryoko without the bravado and the bluster; the bad manners and the anger and the confusion. You saw her as she truly is: a little girl trying hard to act grown up. I've seen it all too rarely myself; what I would have given to be there to see it then.'
With an effort, Washu's shoulders dragged themselves out of their slump. Without looking back, she started down the stairs. 'I've kept you too long,' she said. 'But there's no need to hurry; I'll tell Sasami to keep something warm for you.'
* * *
'Door's open, Ayeka.'
Ryoko didn't look round as the door slid open, then slid shut again. She continued to lie on the bed, dressed in nothing but the white nightie Washu had given her. A light blanket was wrapped tightly about her body. Ryoko continued to simply stare out the window, watching the motes of dust dance in the beams of sunlight, slowly sliding across the floor towards late afternoon.
There was a slight creak in the bed, and the mattress shifted slightly as Ayeka sat down. 'Hello, Ryoko.'
'Hi.' Total neutrality.
'I passed Washu on the stairs.'
'Yeah. She brought me lunch. Good of her, really.'
'It was kind of her to make the effort.' Ayeka's voice sounded thick in her own ears. She didn't know where to look, and the bland pleasentries were taking their toll.
She decided it would be best to be direct. 'Ryoko - I've come to -'
'Apologise? Don't bother.' This statement was accompanied by a slight shake of Ryoko's head.
Ayeka felt brittle. 'Ryoko-'
'No - please, it's alright.' Ryoko's voice was soft and tired sounding. 'Don't misunderstand me; I'm not angry with you, Ayeka. You have no reason to apologise.'
THAT shook Ayeka. It was a full two seconds before she could find her voice. 'Ryoko, I must. I - did such a bad thing. I - I...'
It was all starting to hit the princess, the enourmity of what she'd done. Washu had been right; burying her feelings away had accomplished nothing, and would continue to accomplish nothing. If she held them back they would simply fester and await their chance: Ayeka's next moment of weakness.
She couldn't hold it back anymore; the images, the guilt, the shame. The tears began to well up in her eyes and she buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders sagged and she slumped forward a little.
'I'm sorry Ryoko. I'm so very sorry. I was wrong; I didn't mean it. It wasn't me, as all Jurai is my witness, it just wasn't me. The person who did that - I can't explain it - it just wasn't me...'
'Then why apologise?' came the soft, matter-of-fact voice.
Ayeka paused in her grief, looked up to see Ryoko's green eyes regarding the Jurian from over her shoulder. 'What?' Ayeka asked.
'Why apologise for the acts of another?' Ryoko elaborated. 'Someone who's gone and isn't coming back?'
'Ryoko - please. This isn't just some petty self-indulgence...'
'Hey, hey. I know that. I've been there too, y'know?'
'I... don't understand...?'
Ryoko sighed. 'Ayeka, you were angry with a person who died 700 years ago. She didn't care; I do. I've inherited her legacy, and I'm going to have to live with the guilt of what she did forever. Including what happened to Sasami.'
'You're saying... it's the same for me?'
'Yes.' Ryoko's voice was warm and oddly mature. A far cry from the taunting, petulant child Ayeka knew she could be. 'You'll never forget your grief and sorrow, but it can only control your life if you let it. Don't give the past too much power over the present - or the future.'
It suddenly occurred to Ayeka that perhaps THAT was the reason that Ryoko was always so annoyingly playful and flirtateous; desperately exploring a whole range of feelings that she'd never known before. Moving far beyond the hatred and greed instilled in her by Kagato, Ryoko played things outrageously wild because it was about as far away from THAT Ryoko as anything could possibly be.
Perhaps it was time for her to do the same...?
And in that moment, perhaps she understood Ryoko. And perhaps Ryoko understood her.
'I've forgiven you Ryoko; and you have forgiven me. Now we must both forgive ourselves. Yes?' Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Ryoko sighed again and smiled, turned back to face the window. 'You held it all back for so long. You were angry with what I was, not with what I am.' Yes.
Ayeka's expression brightened noticeably; she almost smiled. She nodded and moved to rise, but Ryoko's hand moved swiftly around to grasp Ayeka's wrist. The space pirate's head turned slightly. 'Ayeka.'
'Yes?' Ayeka's expression turned quizzical.
'It was easier for you to let out all the pain and suffering you'd felt when it wasn't the face of the one you hated. You couldn't attribute the actions of me now to the actions of me then, and it held you back from really striking out at me. Once the physical form was removed, you had the chance to let it all out.'
'Don't... don't, Ryoko, please...'
'No, Ayeka; it's my turn to apologise now.' Ryoko looked up at Ayeka with a cavalier, yet sombre smile. 'Please... don't blame yourself for what happened; it wasn't your fault. If our situations were reversed - if I'd dominion over you - who's to say I wouldn't be where you are now? NONE of us were acting right. You weren't just looking at your kid sister; you were Washu looking at a misbehaving daughter.'
Ayeka felt uncomfortable at the mention of Sasami; those images rose again in her mind... 'What a FUCKING mess...' she whispered under her breath.
Ryoko's ears twitched slightly and her eyes went wide as she momentarily riveted Ayeka wiith a surprised stare. 'Princess,' she breathed, mock-incredulously. 'Did I just hear you use the "F" word?'
Ayeka blushed, then giggled. 'Sasami loves you, and I know that you love her. I know you would give your life in a second to save hers. I can never thank you enough for that. Wherever I go, my sister will be safe with you.'
Ryoko smiled dreamily as her eyes drifted closed. 'I know.'
And all of a sudden, that was it. With a few brief words to one another, Ayeka knew the storm had passed. Perhaps now they could finally build a future... together.
'Ryoko, I have a proposal I'd like to put to you.'
There was no response from the pirate. Looking down at her, Ayeka saw that Ryoko had fallen asleep. Although not physically damaged, she'd suffered a great deal of emotional trauma, and it had clearly taken a lot out of her.
Ayeka smiled at the peaceful, contented expression upon Ryoko's face. Yes, she had a proposal for the pirate, but it could wait. As long as necessary.
Removing her shoes, Ayeka climbed onto the bed. Gently, hesitantly, she moved her right arm around Ryoko's waist and took her right hand in her's. Spooning herself against Ryoko's back, Ayeka closed her eyes soaking up the warmth from Ryoko's body. Ryoko's soft, steady breathing told her that the space pirate was indeed asleep. Presently, Ayeka too drifted asleep.
And her dreams were peaceful ones.
-----
END OF CHAPTER 17
Want to review? Post your comments up at Fanfiction.net or send stuff to me at mccpcorn@hotmail.com
Opinions are ALWAYS welcome!
Tenchi Muyo: Changing Faces
---------------------------
By Mccpcorn
CHAPTER 17: END OF STORY?
=========================
'Are you SURE everything's been alright over there Tenchi?' Kashuhito's somewhat incredulous voice sounded over the telephone.
'Yes, Grandpa,' Tenchi assured the older man, trying to ignore the beading sweat on his own forehead. 'Everything's been just fine.'
There was a long LONG pause on the other end of the line; Tenchi was about to ask what time his father and grandpa would be getting home when Kashuito answered: 'Well... in that case your father and I will be setting off this evening; we'll be home sometime tomorrow afternoon. I expect everything to be in good order when I get back, mind! I'm sure you and the girls wouldn't DREAM of neglecting your chores while we were away.'
'No Grandpa.' Tenchi sweatdropped.
'And the shrine best be in top condition when I return as well!' Kashuhito persisted.
'It will be, Grandpa,' Tenchi assured him, making a mental note to ask Washu to repair the immense damage to the inside of the cave before Yosho got home. 'I'll let you get back to your packing. BYE!' Tenchi hastily put the phone down before his Grandpa could pin him down again.
A quiet, light chuckle from behind him made Tenchi turn. 'Ayeka?'
The Jurian attempted to stifle her obvious mirth. 'I take it the interroragtion is over?' she enquired innocently.
Tenchi sagged a little. 'He knows,' he said in a sour voice.
'He suspects,' Ayeka corrected. 'That is not the same thing. As long as all is in order when my brother returns, he will respect the... privacy of the event, and not question us.'
'Yeah well just once I'd like to have a PROPER break,' Tenchi groused. 'Why is it I always feel under the hammer, even when Grandpa ISN'T around?'
Ayeka almost smiled. 'My brother has alway been highly perceptive; it goes with his heritage, his upbringing, and his training.'
'Tell me about it,' Tenchi griped. 'As if we don't have ENOUGH stuff to sort out as it is.'
'Well it WAS only for a day,' Ayeka reminded him. 'The material damage was cosmetic and minimal; most of it has already been fixed. The... emotional side will take longer.'
'Yeah,' Tenchi replied absently, feeling the aura in the hall shift subtlely. Certain events that had taken place almost a week ago were still a touchy subject where Ayeka was concerned. 'Well I guess I'm going to find the others. Where are you headed?'
'I'm going to check on - Ryoko.' Ayeka almost stumbled over the name.
Tenchi gave the Crown Princess a warm "It'll be okay" kind of smile. 'Well I'll let you go then.'
'Yes. Thank you.' Ayeka bowed her head briefly before heading up the stairs.
Tenchi followed the princess' flowing form up the stairs, then turned and entered the living room. He realised how difficult the situation was for Ayeka, but even if he'd offered support the Jurian's own sense of personal honour would insist she deal with certain aspects alone.
What a crazy world we live in, he told himself wryly. Emphasis strongly on the WE bit...
As he passed into the living room, Tenchi heard voices coming from the kitchen: 'Here Kiyone.'
Tenchi glanced through the open serving hatch just long enough to glimpse a bandaged Sasami pass a collection of herbs to Kiyone. As he watched, the youngster stood next to the GP Officer as Kiyone took hold of the knife.
'It's easier to cut them length wise first,' Sasami explained. 'it helps to release the flavour more.'
'And after that I dice them, right?'
'Yep!' Sasami looked up at Kiyone and smiled. The First Class Detective responded in kind which led to Sasami giggling prettily. 'This is so much fun!' Sasami all but squealed. 'I never had such a good student before!'
Kiyone almost seemed to blush. 'Well you can't be expected to do ALL the work around here.'
Tenchi smiled and turned away to the patio doors. Yes, he decided. Things are gradually coming back to normal.
And with luck, they might even turn out a little BETTER than what passed for normal in the Masaki household.
* * *
Ayeka met Washu at the top of the landing. 'Washu,' she nodded in greeting. 'Is that Ryoko's lunch?'
'What's left of it,' Washu shrugged as she nodded at the empty bowls nestled on the tray she was carrying. 'You're going to see her, right?'
'Yes. Do - do you think she will be... amenable?' Aeyka asked hesitantly.
Washu shrugged again. 'She's quiet enough now. I wouldn't worry if I were you; I think busting my nose was enough for her.' Washu went momentarily crossed-eyed as she tried to look at her bandaged nose.
'That wasn't the reason I asked,' Ayeka replied, a little huffily. 'I just don't want to disturb her if she would prefer to be alone.'
'As you've preferred being this past week?' Washu replied pointedly.
Ayeka flushed. The scientist shook her head and sighed. 'Look, Ayeka, I guess I'll never stop apologising for what happened and the situation I put everyone in. I fully admit that being a genius doesn't make me perfect. I've made LOTS of mistakes in my time; a lot more than you have - or even Ryoko. But each and every time I've just had to pick myself up, dust myself down, and move on with my life. It's never been easy, but at the end of the day nothing
worthwhile ever is.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean that change and learning sometimes involves pain,' Washu explained. 'New challenges can be scary, but without them we can never hope to move beyond ourselves.'
'But where is the line drawn?' Ayeka answered in a quiet, frustrated voice. 'How many sacrifices does a person have to make in the name of discovery? When does the gain of what you may learn outweigh the risk?'
Washu knew what Ayeka was hinting at. The Crown Princess had been quietly tormenting herself over her actions for fully five days now. The accident had opened a rather nasty can of worms for Ayeka, and the princess hadn't liked what she'd learned about herself one bit.
'This isn't just some mindless scientist mantra, Aeyka,' Washu responded. 'It's REAL. Ordinary people out there have to face up to it everyday. And the more powerful we become, the harder it is to be challenged, which means the harder it becomes to learn stuff.'
'Which is why you made such a dreadful mistake?'
'Perhaps,' Washu allowed. 'But I'm not the only one.'
For a moment, Ayeka looked ready to argue. Instead, though, she merely dropped her gaze to the floor. 'Ayeka,' Washu said softly. 'What you learned about yourself, well you didn't like it. But that was the person that you WERE, not the person that you ARE. The cause of what made you do what you did - your pain - has been released now. And you've learned that simply locking your feelings up isn't going to solve your problems. It's a GOOD thing to face up to those feelings, but at the same time don't torture yourself with them. Don't let them take you prisoner.
'What you're about to face in that room ISN'T the challenge you think it is. You've already faced that challenge - and you passed it.'
Ayeka looked up with a pained expression. 'Then what challenge AM I facing in there?' she asked in a pleading whisper.
Washu returned the gaze levelly. 'The future.'
'The future?'
'Yes,' Washu smiled. 'The future you; the future Ryoko. The future of everyone here. It's all in that room. It wont be the first challenge you've faced, Ayeka, and it wont be the last. But you WONT face it alone; that I promise you. How's Sasami?'
Ayeka was taken slightly aback by the sudden change in topic. 'She's still a little sore,' she replied. 'But nothing the first aid kit couldn't handle. She's in the kitchen now, making supper.'
'I thought Kiyone was cooking tonight?' Washu asked. She herself had made Ryoko's supper.
'She is, but Sasami is with her. Sasami's decided to take on a student in case she's away or can't cook for us.'
Washu smiled. 'Sounds like her.'
Ayeka smiled shyly in return. 'Yes.' She moved past Washu. 'I appreciate your words, Washu, but now I think I had better get this over with.'
'Ayeka?'
Ayeka turned to Washu. 'Yes?'
Washu didn't turn to face her; she just stared straight ahead at the spot where she'd been. 'I want to thank you, Ayeka, for what you did. It couldn't have been easy setting your feelings for Ryoko aside like that, especially under the circumstances. None of us were exactly ourselves, and I know you were suffering more than most.'
'I did what was necessary for my sister,' Ayeka sniffed haughtily for a moment, then cast her eyes down. 'I feel great shame at my actions, Washu. I did no more than try to atone for them; I still feel I have not.'
'Up to and including lying to Ryoko?'
Ayeka stiffened. 'You KNEW?'
The Jurian fancied that she could almost hear Washu's smile. 'I was already part-way back to my own body by that time,' she replied. 'I must say it was an interesting tactic, pretending to be me to persuade Ryoko to take your hand.'
Ayeka felt the blood rush to her face. 'I - I had to do SOMETHING,' she explained desperately. 'The way Ryoko was reacting; well I didn't think she'd come with me any other way.'
'Ryoko in many ways has the mind of a child,' Washu reminded her, still not turning. 'And she was in the body of a child; like I said, the lines were blurred. Whether or not she truly believed you WERE you - or whether it was you pretending to be me - is irrelevant. She WANTED to believe, which is how most children try to shut out danger and comfort themselves. All she needed to pretend it was me was an excuse. You gave her that excuse.'
For a second, Ayeka thought she could feel a charge of emotion. 'I'm really rather envious,' Washu continued in a neutral voice that was clearly holding far too much back. 'You saw the real Ryoko, Ayeka. The Ryoko without the bravado and the bluster; the bad manners and the anger and the confusion. You saw her as she truly is: a little girl trying hard to act grown up. I've seen it all too rarely myself; what I would have given to be there to see it then.'
With an effort, Washu's shoulders dragged themselves out of their slump. Without looking back, she started down the stairs. 'I've kept you too long,' she said. 'But there's no need to hurry; I'll tell Sasami to keep something warm for you.'
* * *
'Door's open, Ayeka.'
Ryoko didn't look round as the door slid open, then slid shut again. She continued to lie on the bed, dressed in nothing but the white nightie Washu had given her. A light blanket was wrapped tightly about her body. Ryoko continued to simply stare out the window, watching the motes of dust dance in the beams of sunlight, slowly sliding across the floor towards late afternoon.
There was a slight creak in the bed, and the mattress shifted slightly as Ayeka sat down. 'Hello, Ryoko.'
'Hi.' Total neutrality.
'I passed Washu on the stairs.'
'Yeah. She brought me lunch. Good of her, really.'
'It was kind of her to make the effort.' Ayeka's voice sounded thick in her own ears. She didn't know where to look, and the bland pleasentries were taking their toll.
She decided it would be best to be direct. 'Ryoko - I've come to -'
'Apologise? Don't bother.' This statement was accompanied by a slight shake of Ryoko's head.
Ayeka felt brittle. 'Ryoko-'
'No - please, it's alright.' Ryoko's voice was soft and tired sounding. 'Don't misunderstand me; I'm not angry with you, Ayeka. You have no reason to apologise.'
THAT shook Ayeka. It was a full two seconds before she could find her voice. 'Ryoko, I must. I - did such a bad thing. I - I...'
It was all starting to hit the princess, the enourmity of what she'd done. Washu had been right; burying her feelings away had accomplished nothing, and would continue to accomplish nothing. If she held them back they would simply fester and await their chance: Ayeka's next moment of weakness.
She couldn't hold it back anymore; the images, the guilt, the shame. The tears began to well up in her eyes and she buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders sagged and she slumped forward a little.
'I'm sorry Ryoko. I'm so very sorry. I was wrong; I didn't mean it. It wasn't me, as all Jurai is my witness, it just wasn't me. The person who did that - I can't explain it - it just wasn't me...'
'Then why apologise?' came the soft, matter-of-fact voice.
Ayeka paused in her grief, looked up to see Ryoko's green eyes regarding the Jurian from over her shoulder. 'What?' Ayeka asked.
'Why apologise for the acts of another?' Ryoko elaborated. 'Someone who's gone and isn't coming back?'
'Ryoko - please. This isn't just some petty self-indulgence...'
'Hey, hey. I know that. I've been there too, y'know?'
'I... don't understand...?'
Ryoko sighed. 'Ayeka, you were angry with a person who died 700 years ago. She didn't care; I do. I've inherited her legacy, and I'm going to have to live with the guilt of what she did forever. Including what happened to Sasami.'
'You're saying... it's the same for me?'
'Yes.' Ryoko's voice was warm and oddly mature. A far cry from the taunting, petulant child Ayeka knew she could be. 'You'll never forget your grief and sorrow, but it can only control your life if you let it. Don't give the past too much power over the present - or the future.'
It suddenly occurred to Ayeka that perhaps THAT was the reason that Ryoko was always so annoyingly playful and flirtateous; desperately exploring a whole range of feelings that she'd never known before. Moving far beyond the hatred and greed instilled in her by Kagato, Ryoko played things outrageously wild because it was about as far away from THAT Ryoko as anything could possibly be.
Perhaps it was time for her to do the same...?
And in that moment, perhaps she understood Ryoko. And perhaps Ryoko understood her.
'I've forgiven you Ryoko; and you have forgiven me. Now we must both forgive ourselves. Yes?' Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Ryoko sighed again and smiled, turned back to face the window. 'You held it all back for so long. You were angry with what I was, not with what I am.' Yes.
Ayeka's expression brightened noticeably; she almost smiled. She nodded and moved to rise, but Ryoko's hand moved swiftly around to grasp Ayeka's wrist. The space pirate's head turned slightly. 'Ayeka.'
'Yes?' Ayeka's expression turned quizzical.
'It was easier for you to let out all the pain and suffering you'd felt when it wasn't the face of the one you hated. You couldn't attribute the actions of me now to the actions of me then, and it held you back from really striking out at me. Once the physical form was removed, you had the chance to let it all out.'
'Don't... don't, Ryoko, please...'
'No, Ayeka; it's my turn to apologise now.' Ryoko looked up at Ayeka with a cavalier, yet sombre smile. 'Please... don't blame yourself for what happened; it wasn't your fault. If our situations were reversed - if I'd dominion over you - who's to say I wouldn't be where you are now? NONE of us were acting right. You weren't just looking at your kid sister; you were Washu looking at a misbehaving daughter.'
Ayeka felt uncomfortable at the mention of Sasami; those images rose again in her mind... 'What a FUCKING mess...' she whispered under her breath.
Ryoko's ears twitched slightly and her eyes went wide as she momentarily riveted Ayeka wiith a surprised stare. 'Princess,' she breathed, mock-incredulously. 'Did I just hear you use the "F" word?'
Ayeka blushed, then giggled. 'Sasami loves you, and I know that you love her. I know you would give your life in a second to save hers. I can never thank you enough for that. Wherever I go, my sister will be safe with you.'
Ryoko smiled dreamily as her eyes drifted closed. 'I know.'
And all of a sudden, that was it. With a few brief words to one another, Ayeka knew the storm had passed. Perhaps now they could finally build a future... together.
'Ryoko, I have a proposal I'd like to put to you.'
There was no response from the pirate. Looking down at her, Ayeka saw that Ryoko had fallen asleep. Although not physically damaged, she'd suffered a great deal of emotional trauma, and it had clearly taken a lot out of her.
Ayeka smiled at the peaceful, contented expression upon Ryoko's face. Yes, she had a proposal for the pirate, but it could wait. As long as necessary.
Removing her shoes, Ayeka climbed onto the bed. Gently, hesitantly, she moved her right arm around Ryoko's waist and took her right hand in her's. Spooning herself against Ryoko's back, Ayeka closed her eyes soaking up the warmth from Ryoko's body. Ryoko's soft, steady breathing told her that the space pirate was indeed asleep. Presently, Ayeka too drifted asleep.
And her dreams were peaceful ones.
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END OF CHAPTER 17
