We are currently training new Disclaimers, we apologise for any difficulties that may arise from this.
"Ahh Miss Granger. And how are we today ? Asked a strangely chirpy Professor Snape.
"Huh .........?!" Stammered Hermione, very quickly coming out of her drool flooded haze.
"Ahh ......." She continued staring blankly at the strangely grinning Potions Master.
"I said 'H o w - a r e - w e - t o d a y ?' " Snape slowly enunciated, thinking that the poor 6th year had taken a knock to the head, which was obviously effecting her mental capabilities.
"Ohh ...... Ahh ......... Good ?" Hermione replied uncertainly.
"Ohh ....... Well Drat then !" Snape exclaimed disappointedly, as he proceeded to pout darkly.
"WHAT ?!" Hermione suddenly shouted offended.
"'Oh Drat' that I'm good ?" she questioned quietly, as she crossed her arms and stared angrily at Snape.
"Well I ahh ........" He trailed off nervously.
"Well you ahh .... WHAT ?!" Hermione shouted.
"Ahh ......" Snape stammered as he slowly started to back away from the fiery young Gryffindor.
"iwasonlytryingtobepolite." He mumbled quietly to himself, rather hurt.
"POLITE ?! How on earth were you being POLITE ?!" Fumed hermione
"Well ..... I .....Um ....." Snape spluttered, quite flustered.
"No. I am sorry, but I'm just going to have to take 10 points from Slytherin." Hermione stated firmly.
"?!" Said Snape as he fell stunned onto another small stool near the angry 6th year.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Ohh for crying out loud !" Hermione exclaimed exasperatedly.
"I thought you were a grown man not a blithering idiot." She told Snape rather unkindly.
Snape however completely ignored her, as he continued to howl extremely loudly.
"Arrggghhhh" Cursed Hermione quietly as she looked around embarrassed, to see if anyone else was watching this very weird scene.
"It was only ten points!" She quietly hissed at the snivelling man, as she shook her head annoyed.
"I could make it 20 you know." She suddenly added.
Snape stopped crying.
"Thank you." She told him sincerely as she handed him a pretty little flowery handkerchief.
"You didn't have to be so mean you know." Snape said as he wiped his tear stained eyes.
"I was only trying to help you." He stated.
"Help me ?!" exclaimed Hermione as she turned around to fully face the Potions Master.
"You replied, and I quote 'Ohh Drat !', that I was feeling good, PLEASE tell me how that was helping me ?!" She spat angrily at him.
"I only said that because I had heard that your girlfriend was in the Infirmary, and I thought you might be in need of some friendly counselling." Snape replied, looking like he was about to tear up again.
"She's not my girlfriend." Hermione replied far too quickly.
"Miss Granger I am not an idiot !" Snape exclaimed offended.
"Why would you want to counsel me anyway ?" Hermione asked, quickly changing the subject.
"And anyway I thought you didn't do 'love' ....." She said suspiciously.
"Well ..... I ..... Ahh ......" Snape stammered.
"Your up to something !" Hermione exclaimed as she jumped to her feet, and proceeded to point at the Potions Master.
"I am not." Snape lied indignantly.
"YES you are" Hermione stated, pointing even harder at him.
"Okay, okay fine." Snape replied grumpily.
"Now sit down before anybody sees you ...." He hissed.
Hermione quickly sat down.
"So" She asked excitedly, as she rubbed her hands together.
"What evil, world ending plan have you got going now ?"
"You do know Harry's going to stop you don't you!" She quickly added.
"Ohh I'm very sure he would." Snape drawled, almost slightly smirking, as he looked across the infirmary at a completely unconscious Mr Potter.
"And, might I add Miss Granger" He continued, as he turned his attention back to the 6th year.
"That it hurts a great deal that you would automatically assume that I was up to some evil acropolytic plot." Snape stated as he crossed his arms offended.
"Ohh!" Hermione exclaimed.
"I guess it would, wouldn't it. Terribly sorry about that." She apologised.
"So why did you want to counsel me then." She enquired.
"Ohh well ahh you see ......." Snape stammered embarrassed.
"What ?" Hermione asked gently.
Snape continued stammering.
"Oh come on, it can't be that bad. I mean its not like you want to be the new School Counsellor or anything is it." Hermione laughed.
"Well .... I ..... ahh ....." Snape spluttered, going very red.
"Ohh." Hermione stopped laughing.
"Well its ahh ..... You see ..... Um well .... it pays a whole lot better than my current position ....... And umm well ..... I sort of helped you the other day so I thought maybe I might have a shot at it ......" Snape trailed off quietly.
"Ohh. Um. Well ahh I'm sure you'll make a great School Counsellor. " Hermione lied.
"Really ?!" Asked Snape a lot more brightly.
"Ahh yeah." Hermione continued to lie.
"So who would be the new Potions Master then ?" She asked suddenly.
"Oh, well I was thinking that Argus Filch was getting a whole lot better at magic recently ...." Snape told her.
"WHAT ?!" Screamed Hermione thoroughly shocked.
"No no no no no no no no ....." she said.
"What about Voldemort ?" She quickly suggested, after all Potions was a compulsory class, she couldn't just drop it like Divination.
"I mean he's got a whole lot better now, and he's probably quite good at potions - after all he made himself into snake boy back in my fourth year. Ohh! and he was a Slytherin." She added, trying desperately to convince Professor Snape of her better choice.
"Hmm" Snape said thoughtfully.
"Yes. I think I might just suggest that idea to Albus." He concluded happily.
'Phew !' thought Hermione to herself, that was definitely one very big catastrophe she had cleverly avoided. Harry would be impressed !
"So" Said Snape happily,
"Lets talk about how your feeling now that your girlfriend lying unconscious in the infirmary." He stated dramatically.
"She's not unconscious, you know, she's just sedated." Hermione corrected.
"Hmmph you say 'potato' I say 'tomato' " Snape replied indignantly.
"What ?!" Hermione questioned unbelievably.
"Its an old muggle saying." Snape replied pompously.
"No its not." Hermione stated.
"Anyway about your girlfriend ...." Snape said, starting to get a bit annoyed at all the distractions.
"DAMN IT ! She is NOT my GIRLFRIEND !!!" Hermione yelled frustratedly.
Suddenly Ginny woke up.
TBC ........
"Ahh Miss Granger. And how are we today ? Asked a strangely chirpy Professor Snape.
"Huh .........?!" Stammered Hermione, very quickly coming out of her drool flooded haze.
"Ahh ......." She continued staring blankly at the strangely grinning Potions Master.
"I said 'H o w - a r e - w e - t o d a y ?' " Snape slowly enunciated, thinking that the poor 6th year had taken a knock to the head, which was obviously effecting her mental capabilities.
"Ohh ...... Ahh ......... Good ?" Hermione replied uncertainly.
"Ohh ....... Well Drat then !" Snape exclaimed disappointedly, as he proceeded to pout darkly.
"WHAT ?!" Hermione suddenly shouted offended.
"'Oh Drat' that I'm good ?" she questioned quietly, as she crossed her arms and stared angrily at Snape.
"Well I ahh ........" He trailed off nervously.
"Well you ahh .... WHAT ?!" Hermione shouted.
"Ahh ......" Snape stammered as he slowly started to back away from the fiery young Gryffindor.
"iwasonlytryingtobepolite." He mumbled quietly to himself, rather hurt.
"POLITE ?! How on earth were you being POLITE ?!" Fumed hermione
"Well ..... I .....Um ....." Snape spluttered, quite flustered.
"No. I am sorry, but I'm just going to have to take 10 points from Slytherin." Hermione stated firmly.
"?!" Said Snape as he fell stunned onto another small stool near the angry 6th year.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Ohh for crying out loud !" Hermione exclaimed exasperatedly.
"I thought you were a grown man not a blithering idiot." She told Snape rather unkindly.
Snape however completely ignored her, as he continued to howl extremely loudly.
"Arrggghhhh" Cursed Hermione quietly as she looked around embarrassed, to see if anyone else was watching this very weird scene.
"It was only ten points!" She quietly hissed at the snivelling man, as she shook her head annoyed.
"I could make it 20 you know." She suddenly added.
Snape stopped crying.
"Thank you." She told him sincerely as she handed him a pretty little flowery handkerchief.
"You didn't have to be so mean you know." Snape said as he wiped his tear stained eyes.
"I was only trying to help you." He stated.
"Help me ?!" exclaimed Hermione as she turned around to fully face the Potions Master.
"You replied, and I quote 'Ohh Drat !', that I was feeling good, PLEASE tell me how that was helping me ?!" She spat angrily at him.
"I only said that because I had heard that your girlfriend was in the Infirmary, and I thought you might be in need of some friendly counselling." Snape replied, looking like he was about to tear up again.
"She's not my girlfriend." Hermione replied far too quickly.
"Miss Granger I am not an idiot !" Snape exclaimed offended.
"Why would you want to counsel me anyway ?" Hermione asked, quickly changing the subject.
"And anyway I thought you didn't do 'love' ....." She said suspiciously.
"Well ..... I ..... Ahh ......" Snape stammered.
"Your up to something !" Hermione exclaimed as she jumped to her feet, and proceeded to point at the Potions Master.
"I am not." Snape lied indignantly.
"YES you are" Hermione stated, pointing even harder at him.
"Okay, okay fine." Snape replied grumpily.
"Now sit down before anybody sees you ...." He hissed.
Hermione quickly sat down.
"So" She asked excitedly, as she rubbed her hands together.
"What evil, world ending plan have you got going now ?"
"You do know Harry's going to stop you don't you!" She quickly added.
"Ohh I'm very sure he would." Snape drawled, almost slightly smirking, as he looked across the infirmary at a completely unconscious Mr Potter.
"And, might I add Miss Granger" He continued, as he turned his attention back to the 6th year.
"That it hurts a great deal that you would automatically assume that I was up to some evil acropolytic plot." Snape stated as he crossed his arms offended.
"Ohh!" Hermione exclaimed.
"I guess it would, wouldn't it. Terribly sorry about that." She apologised.
"So why did you want to counsel me then." She enquired.
"Ohh well ahh you see ......." Snape stammered embarrassed.
"What ?" Hermione asked gently.
Snape continued stammering.
"Oh come on, it can't be that bad. I mean its not like you want to be the new School Counsellor or anything is it." Hermione laughed.
"Well .... I ..... ahh ....." Snape spluttered, going very red.
"Ohh." Hermione stopped laughing.
"Well its ahh ..... You see ..... Um well .... it pays a whole lot better than my current position ....... And umm well ..... I sort of helped you the other day so I thought maybe I might have a shot at it ......" Snape trailed off quietly.
"Ohh. Um. Well ahh I'm sure you'll make a great School Counsellor. " Hermione lied.
"Really ?!" Asked Snape a lot more brightly.
"Ahh yeah." Hermione continued to lie.
"So who would be the new Potions Master then ?" She asked suddenly.
"Oh, well I was thinking that Argus Filch was getting a whole lot better at magic recently ...." Snape told her.
"WHAT ?!" Screamed Hermione thoroughly shocked.
"No no no no no no no no ....." she said.
"What about Voldemort ?" She quickly suggested, after all Potions was a compulsory class, she couldn't just drop it like Divination.
"I mean he's got a whole lot better now, and he's probably quite good at potions - after all he made himself into snake boy back in my fourth year. Ohh! and he was a Slytherin." She added, trying desperately to convince Professor Snape of her better choice.
"Hmm" Snape said thoughtfully.
"Yes. I think I might just suggest that idea to Albus." He concluded happily.
'Phew !' thought Hermione to herself, that was definitely one very big catastrophe she had cleverly avoided. Harry would be impressed !
"So" Said Snape happily,
"Lets talk about how your feeling now that your girlfriend lying unconscious in the infirmary." He stated dramatically.
"She's not unconscious, you know, she's just sedated." Hermione corrected.
"Hmmph you say 'potato' I say 'tomato' " Snape replied indignantly.
"What ?!" Hermione questioned unbelievably.
"Its an old muggle saying." Snape replied pompously.
"No its not." Hermione stated.
"Anyway about your girlfriend ...." Snape said, starting to get a bit annoyed at all the distractions.
"DAMN IT ! She is NOT my GIRLFRIEND !!!" Hermione yelled frustratedly.
Suddenly Ginny woke up.
TBC ........
