Chapter 3- I Wanted Such a Little Thing from Life
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in it, as I'm sure you all know. The chapter titles are from the finale song of the musical "Pippin." Islandia is a real book (and a good one), written by Austin Tappan Wright. Jane Eyre is (also a good book) by Charlotte Bronte.
A/N: This is in Jess' POV, I plan to alternate in the chapters, unless I get an idea in which I can't. I hope you like it; I like the second chapter better than this one though. Please review!! ~Arianna
I walked up to the apartment, not paying attention to Luke yelling after me. I was holding the math paper. All I could think about was what Rory had said to me. Rory.
I'd talked to her like a friend, and it was great, but it hurt so much. I wished it could be more than that. I decided…so what if there's almost no school left. I got a pencil and started working on the math.
Then Luke came upstairs.
"Jess, what the heck are you doing? You said you'd help, we're completely crowded—"
"I'm working, okay?"
"I'm having a difficult time believing you," Luke said.
"Don't you think you should get back to the diner?"
"This is more important, Jess!" he yelled. I was shocked. This was more important…I was more important? I couldn't think of anything to say. Luke walked over to me and looked over my shoulder. "You really are working." He shook his head. "Considering I'm never gonna get you to come down…fine. Stay here." Luke headed downstairs.
"I'll come help later," I called.
I did stay upstairs, working for a while, but because I hadn't listened in class for several weeks, I couldn't do it all. I opened Islandia and read for a few hours. Then the phone rang. After a second of debating, I picked it up.
"Hey," someone said.
"Rory?" Rory was calling me? Why? But maybe she just wanted to ask Luke something.
"Yeah, of course. Hi, Jess."
"Why are you calling?"
"Because I want to talk to you. And because…you know how I told you I'm not letting you off the hook?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Well, I'm not."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I grinned.
"Want to come over and study with me?" I was amazed. She actually…she really did want to help me. "My mom's at the Inn," Rory added.
"Sure."
"Bring your math, okay?"
"Rory…"
"Jess…"
"Okay, see you there."
"Bye!" I hung up. Rory called me, asked me to come over. It was just as a friend, but it was still great. I got my books and walked to Rory's house. Luke didn't even notice me leaving. She opened the door.
"Hey, come on in." She was just wearing jeans and a sweater, but she looked great. I followed her into the living room.
"Still reading Jane Eyre?" I asked her.
"Yeah. I couldn't finish it that fast!" She grinned. "I've got a big paper to do."
"What subject?"
"English Lit. It's on Emily Dickinson."
"Ah. I prefer Dickens, Hemingway…"
"You would." I could tell she meant it in a good way. "What are you reading now?"
"I just started Islandia."
"I've heard that's really good," Rory replied.
"What, you haven't read it?" I said. Rory shook her head.
"Not yet." We sat down on the couch. Both of us were quiet for a while.
"So…I started working on it," I told her. Her face lit up.
"That's great!" She stopped and looked at me. "Jess, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why? Why…don't you care more about school? Why haven't you listened? Why aren't you acing everything?" I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know how to answer. Remembering being yelled at and getting in trouble, out walking through New York as a kid and being scared…I couldn't explain it to Rory.
"Because I can't," I answered.
"No, Jess! You're smarter than just about everyone in Stars Hollow High. You can do anything. " Not anything, I thought. I can't tell Rory that I care about her. I wish I could.
"I can not." I thought about what I'd always wanted when I was younger. Just to be myself, and read, and not have to worry about what was going to happen when I got home. And then I got older and I realized that things weren't going to be that way… I got up, suddenly, and left the room. I was scared I was going to lose control, and I didn't want to cry in front of Rory.
I couldn't help it. It was about Rory. And what I'd remembered. And that Rory was right; I didn't have the best chance at a good college anymore, even though she hadn't said that. And everything. Rory was the only person I could ever talk to, the only person who actually started to think that I wasn't such a bad guy. The only person who knew I read Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte. She knew me better than anyone. But she still didn't really know me very well…
