Chapter 7 – But there's no color I can have on Earth
Jess' POV
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Gilmore Girls, nor do I own any book or author references, or the titles of these chapters, which you all know because of my previous disclaimers.
A/N: Once again, thanks so much to everyone for the reviews, they're all really, really great and always make me want to write more! Thank you! This chapter is more of Jess' thoughts than dialogue, I know there's no Jess/Rory interaction but there is next chapter! Something also happens in next chapter that I think Literati fans will like, but I don't want to give it away now. There is one swear word in this chapter, but it'll be either the only one or one of only two in this story, and it's not bad, so I'm keeping this G. Please tell me if you think I should raise the rating. I basically never swear, but 'darn' doesn't really sound like Jess! I'm also thinking about writing another fic, based on an upcoming episode, if I get any ideas. Sorry this took so long, my internet connection was completely messed up last Monday, so I couldn't post it. Hope you like this! ~Arianna
I watched Rory leave the diner, then cleaned up the counter and headed up to the apartment. Luke was still up.
"Hi, Jess," he said.
"Hi Luke," I said absentmindedly, moving piles of stuff around, looking for my book.
"Jess. We need to talk."
"What about? And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Sit down." Luke pointed. I did. "What are you trying to do?" he said angrily.
"Excuse me?"
"You think I don't see you around her? You think the whole town doesn't see you around her?"
"Are you talking about Rory?"
"Yes I'm talking about Rory!" Luke yelled. "She's got a boyfriend! And you're—you're—"
"I'm what?" I demanded. "We're friends, that's all." I wish we were more than that.
Luke sighed. "The way she looks at you, Jess. She likes you. I don't want you to hurt her."
"I would never hurt her."
"It's breaking your heart, huh?" Luke said to me. I didn't want to admit it, but he was right.
"Yeah," I said at last, "I guess it is."
"What were you doing at her house today? Tell me the truth, Jess."
"Studying," I answered.
"Uh huh."
"Ask Rory if you insist," I snapped.
"So you really like her."
I looked right at Luke. "I really, really like her. I…"
"I know." I knew Luke understood. I'd seen the way he looked at Lorelai. I knew Rory had too. "Maybe you should stop…hanging around with her so much."
"No."
"You're gonna break her heart, Jess."
I gave up looking and stood up. "I'm leaving."
"We are not done here!"
"I didn't know that. I'm going out, bye."
"Fine then, you're closing up. You're working all day tomorrow. You're—"
"I have school."
"What's the difference? At least here you're thinking, if only about not spilling the coffee." I reached into my pocket, pulled out my latest English quiz, and shoved it in his face. "Talk to you later, Uncle Luke."
"Dickens…Vidal…Trollope…100%? This is great, Jess! Why—" I slammed the door of the apartment and left the diner. I started walking, not thinking about where I was going, and I found myself at the bookstore. I went in.
"Hey jerk," Andrew called from the desk. "We close in twenty minutes!"
"Noted," I replied, heading to the literature section. I glanced through the shelves quickly, and something caught my eye—The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. I smiled slightly and picked it up. Andrew looked at it, then at me, and entered it into the computer.
"That'll be $12.50." I gave him a twenty. "This is a favorite of a certain girl in town."
"Yeah," I replied, not realizing that I was grinning.
"So, she broke up with Dean?" Wish I could say yes.
"What makes you think that?"
He shrugged. "You dating her?"
"She's my friend," I said shortly, taking the change and the book. "Goodbye." I left quickly, annoyed. Why does he assume I'm seeing her just because I bought that book? I continued walking, barely seeing anything in front of me. Because I'm not the kind of guy who just reads The Fountainhead, a voice answered in my head. I sighed. I didn't want to think about my life just then. So I went to the bridge, and sat down, and opened my book. It was a lot better than I'd thought it would be.
I actually did manage to forget my conversation with Luke while I read. And then, at the end of a chapter, I remembered that I was supposed to be at Luke's, closing up. I put the book in my back pocket.
"Nice closing up job," Luke said when I got there.
"Look, I'm sorry, I meant to do it, okay? I was reading."
"Jess—"
"I will not talk," I informed him. "I am locking the door—" I went over and did that—"going upstairs, reading and listening to music. And yes I will use headphones."
"Jess—" Luke tried again.
"So I told you something for once! Don't expect it again. So you know how I feel about Rory. We're friends, that's all, that's it, it's fine. Goodnight!" I got upstairs as fast as I could and threw the book on the bed.
I got no credit in this town. Except from Rory. And maybe Luke, almost… But being around her was worth it, as much as it hurt. At least I knew someone did sort of care about me…
Isn't this better than no one really knowing me at all? Rarely noticing I'm there, only seeing the word 'Austen' on the book I'm holding and teasing me about it? I guess so… But I definitely couldn't tell Rory about what Luke said.
Damn.
