Chapter 11 – I think it was here

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or any book or author references, or these chapter titles, just like I didn't own them when I wrote the last ten chapters.

A/N: Finally, the story that has been a mystery since chapter four…you'll see what I mean! It took me a long time to figure this out, but I did, so here it is! It might not be completely realistic, but it's all I could think of, so I hope you like it. I know this doesn't sound serious enough to make Jess that upset, but it's emphasized more in the next chapter. To Emmy – the play Pippin is sort of historical w/fantasy added, it's set in Charlemagne's reign. I hope you all like this. Thanks again to everyone for the reviews!

       ~Arianna

I could hear most of what Rory was saying. It surprised me, it really surprised me. I hadn't thought anyone, even Rory, would stand up for me like that. She finished and came over to look at the shelf I was looking at.

"Rory…"

"Jess."

"I heard."

"I thought you might."

"Thanks," I said to her. She smiled.

"You're welcome."

I reached up and pulled a book off the shelf. "You should read this, it's great."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." It was The Mysterious Island. "Verne was French, so you'd expect to be able to tell, except several of the characters are Union soldiers in the American Civil War, which is interesting…"

"That does sound good." She turned the book over. "So is this a good summary on the back?"

"No, it's pretty bad. Just read it…don't you trust me?" I grinned, turning to look at her. Then I got more serious. "Rory, if you want me to tell you, I will."

"I do," she replied, and put her arm around me again. "Let's go to the bridge."

"Okay," I said when we were sitting down, looking over the lake. It sort of reminded me of the park back in New York. "This might take a while…"

"It's all right."

"Okay. I learned to read when I was a really little kid…you know all those newspaper stands in New York?" She nodded. "I used to ask the guys at the stands for papers, and I usually got them, even though they'd look at me like I was crazy." Rory grinned at that. "So when I got old enough, I'd try to earn money in various ways and then go to this bookstore near the apartment. Liz…she kind of…I don't know how to say this. She stopped going to school." I stopped, uncomfortable. Rory rested her head on my shoulder, and I continued.

"She never had any big plans for me or anything…no Harvard."

"You could if you wanted to," Rory whispered.

"Oh, I don't think that's me," I replied.

"Don't believe that. So you're good at acting. So you're good at pretending you don't care. You do, I know you do, and you're smart."

I started my story again. "She didn't particularly care if I went to school. I basically just brought books home and went to my room and read. Austen, Bronte, Melville, Dickens, Twain…"

"Good choices."

"Yeah. But Liz didn't understand. Why I would want to read stuff like that. She wanted me to do stuff for her. She wouldn't let me go anywhere if I didn't. Course, I got around that…it wasn't hard to get out when she was drunk. It wasn't all the time, just often enough. While she…I would just…" I had never told this to anyone. It was really hard to say. "I would just lock myself in my room and cry."

"Oh, Jess. I'm sorry…"

"I'm pretty different now. I figured it wouldn't do me any good, crying all the time. I just decided I wasn't gonna do that anymore."

"You're not so different when someone gets to know you."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah."

"Well, anyway, I got to know some guys around the apartment. None of them knew how to read, even, I don't think. They got into trouble a lot; so did I. People saw me reading; they didn't get it. You know: 'That kid can't read classics…he's the one who gets into trouble every other day.' I got teased a lot."

"Jess…"

I knew she wanted to say something to comfort me, but I didn't want to hear it, not now. I tightened my arm around Rory.

"Then Liz told me this one time to get out of the house if I wanted to read; I started hanging around Washington Square Park. Luke called after a while to ask if Liz was okay, and she insisted I go live with him…she didn't want me there. That was it. And I can't say it was great."

"I couldn't have done that," she told me.

"It's just…when we were studying, it reminded me…and I lost it. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean it. Jess…thanks for telling me."

"You're the only one who knows."

"I know."

I kissed her again. She grinned at me. "So what did you think when you found out about coming here?"

"First I wasn't that excited."

"I bet."

"I liked you immediately."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Rory leaned toward me and kissed me. I held her tightly. We finally broke apart, and Rory turned around suddenly. Dean was standing there, staring at us. Rory turned back to me. I couldn't help grinning.

"You okay?" I asked.

"I'm okay."

"I guess…I should really get back to work…" I said reluctantly.

"I'll come. I need coffee."

"Should have known."

"Of course." Rory looked up at me. "Jess, I know that hurt…"

"It was worth it."

"Glad you think so."

"And I guess…I needed to tell someone."

"You're learning fast, Jess Mariano."

"I'm trying." I reached out and pulled her close. Rory kissed me. She saw Dean, and she wants to be with me. I have never felt like this. This was everything I'd wanted. I never would have guessed. Stars Hollow, Connecticut. It was a lot better than it looked at first.