Title: Black Shirt

Rating: PG-13 for some suggestive dialogue.

Disclaimer: Uh, don't you think that if I owned Gilmore Girls, Jess would walk around with a lot less clothes?

Summary: This is a sequel to "Yes". It is a little shorter than "Yes" but this is Lorelei's perspective after she makes an unexpected discovery. It takes place a few weeks after "Yes". Spoilers go as far as "The Big One". And disregard the Rory/Paris sex talk, okay?

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"Black shirt, black shirt, black shirt," Lorelei chanted as she walked through the Gilmore home. The black shirt had to be somewhere. It was the last item on her packing list. She and Alex were so compatible that she was able to actually make a list for the first time in her life.

"Is the black shirt in Rory's room?" she asks out loud. She realizes that she is talking to herself but is trying to get used to it for the coming year. Her voice is not sounding as odd anymore as it echoes off the walls of the empty house.

She steps in the Rory's bedroom and pulls open the top drawer. Socks, socks, blue T-shirt, red T-shirt, purple… when did Rory buy a purple T-shirt? Oh God, that's right. Jess bought it for her last week when she had dragged him to the mall. Rory had gone to the mall without her. And with Jess. Some things were meant to be sacred.

Lorelei saunters over to the closet and this time is triumphant in recovering the black shirt. "Last item, check," she says, crumbling up her packing list in a fist sized ball and tossing it in Rory's trash basket.

The paper ball hits the rim of the basket and bounces off to the left. Lorelei heaves a sigh and trudges over to pick it up. No evidence that she had ransacked through Rory's room for Rory's clothing would probably be best. She gingerly plucks it in her hand and is about to drop it in the trash when she spots it.

It.

It.

IT.

Oh my God, it.

Lorelei gasps for air and suddenly the world is crashing down and she is about to vomit. She doesn't know if she is going to vomit because of what it is or the fact that it has been used and that in its self is quite disgusting. She decides immediately that it is a combination of both. She chooses to be upset over the former first and files the later away for a case where she might intake arsenic and not have any ipecac syrup handy to help her get rid of it.

She tries to regain her stability but fails and sinks down on Rory's bed. She immediately hops up from it. They used that there, she thought. She quickly moved out of Rory's room.

Lorelei needed to sit down. In all honesty, she was afraid to. Two teenage kids with hormones? Maybe none of her furniture was safe. After dismissing the couch, armchair, kitchen chairs, table, AND counter, she sat herself on the stairs and prayed that they lacked imagination.

She needed to talk to someone. Of course, she needed to talk to someone who wouldn't hunt down and strangle Jess because as soon as feeling returned to her legs, she was doing it herself. So this eliminated Chris and Luke. Who else was there? Who else? Her mother? She laughed a desperate laugh at that thought. Emily probably wouldn't run out and kill Jess. She might hire someone to do it for her though. What sort of person is an assassin?

Jess. Ooo, he was so the type of person to kill for cash. Her daughter was sleeping with an assassin for hire. He had an array of guns and ammo in the trunk of that beater car. And it definitely explained his wardrobe of depressing colors. Blending in with the night sky. And a scope to perfectly aim a shot at his victim. That was probably shoved away in his drawer. Maybe wrapped up in his blue Wal-Mart vest. She had to admit the kid was a hard worker. Working at Luke's, Wal-Mart, and picking up a little freelance sniper work had to wear him out. And Luke had told her that his grades were getting better. When did he do his homework? Maybe he had an accomplice who drove the car while he studied.

So Jess was an assassin. What if Rory got pregnant and Jess and her had to get… oh God no. How could Jess support them on his assassin wages? He probably got paid fairly well but obviously it was not a very stable business since he needed two other jobs to supplement his income. Maybe the Wal-Mart thing was just a cover-up. Plus, how could he be a family man if he was an assassin? There was probably a lot of travel involved and late nights.

Lorelai was up and pacing now. Her legs had regained feeling but her arms were still numb. And she needed all her strength in her arms to get her hands around Jess's little neck and squeeze. I wonder if his eyes will pop out. In second grade… or was it first? No second grade, Vinny Babato said he squeezed his hamster too hard and the eyes popped out. She had been pretty skeptical then but it seemed like a good concept in this situation. Of course, if she popped Jess's eyes out that would pretty much finish his assassin career. Unless he was Daredevil. And that did not seem possibly since red was really not Jess Mariano's color.

Mariano. That sounded pretty damn Italian to her. Like marinara. But different. So Jess was a member of the Mafia. He had mob ties. So he wasn't just a regular assassin but a Mafia assassin. That meant her mother had mob ties also. That really wasn't surprising. It all made sense now. Jess had to get all that artillery to be a sniper from somewhere. Luke must be in on it too and Jess came from New York to help and the diner was just a front for money laundering. Luckily, Luke had picked up how to make a mean burger in between the killing and drug deals.

She walked back to the phone and deliberated over picking it up. Sookie! She could call Sookie! Because even if she was mad enough to kill Jess, there was no way Jackson had left anything that could be construed as a weapon in their house. She picked up the cordless and dialed Sookie's number. Ring one, ring two, ring three, ring four, and answering machine. Damn.

Lorelai now decided it was time for a little confrontation. She glanced around the house for a baseball bat or a golf club. Damn us for not being athletic. She briefly debated paying Charlie at the Gunsmoke Shop a visit until she remembered those gun control laws. Mental note: write congressman asking him to lobby for lifting the background check law for mothers who need to kill boys who stole their daughter's virginity. Now that was a law to bring everyone together. Democrats, Republicans, Independents. Suburbanites, hillbillies, high-society, everyone would benefit.

She put the phone back on the hook and noticed the answering machine blinking. She hit the button and the room filled with Rory's voice. "Mom? I'm going to be at the diner with Jess okay? I figure I'll see you here at 5 for dinner…gotta go, bye."

She was with him right now. Lorelei rewound the message and hit play again. There was a giggle after "dinner". A giggle. Oh, he was dead.

She grabbed her coat and was out the door. Rory had giggled. Rory. She had forgotten about Rory. It wasn't just that Jess had slept with Rory but Rory had slept with Jess. And not told me. Not told me! Her own mother. She should have picked up on it. She walked out of the house and to the street. There were signs all around her. She had seen Rory with Cosmo magazine. Since when the hell did Rory know that Cosmo existed? She hadn't been as squeamish during Sex and the City. She had been sort of giggly on the phone with Jess lately. Normal for girls her age but not normal for Rory. And when Rory came home at night and Lorelei asked what she had done with Jess, the answer had suddenly become "Nothing, just watched TV and… stuff" on a very regular basis. Her daughter had kept something from her. And it was all Jess's fault.

She thought that and tried to say it aloud. "It's all Jess's fault." It really did not sound right. Maybe because it was not true. Not completely true at least. It was partly Luke's fault for bringing Jess to Stars Hollow. And Liz's for sending Jess here. Unless it really wasn't Liz who sent him. Okay fine, it was the kingpin's fault for sending him. They were all part of the reason why her daughter could no longer wear white on her wedding day.

But she knew that in reality, it was Rory's fault. Well, not fault. Decision. It was Rory's decision. Not one that Lorelei liked, but it was Rory's decision.

And for that, Jess must die.

She approached the diner and pulled open the door, ready to storm in like a hurricane when she spotted them. They were in the gazebo and Jess's arms were loosely around Rory's waist. Rory's hands were in his hair. And they were both smiling. And looking pretty happy. Rory looked happy. And she had never really seen Jess smile or look happy. So either he just got laid or he was in love. For the second time that day, she decided it was probably a combination of both.

So maybe she shouldn't kill Jess. After all, with his mob ties, it could be dangerous. And Rory seemed somewhat attached to him. Plus, he could be useful. Kirk gets out of line and Jess could probably clip him in the leg. Assassins had good aim. Or Jehovah's Witnesses at the door. Maybe Jess would be willing to sit on top of their roof and wait for them. And maybe the Mob boss could get them tickets to The Sopranos season premiere party. And Rory would be safe with a bunch of big Italian guys as her own private Secret Service.

"Lorelei! Either come in or get out! Don't just stand there with the door open!" yelled Luke. Lorelei stepped in the diner and shut the door behind her. She sat down at the counter.

"What do you want?" asked Luke.

"How about a club sandwich, fries, and a hundred thousand dollars?" she asked.

"What?" Luke responded, looking at her like she was crazy.

"I'm on to you. Look into those Sopranos tickets, okay?" she said.

Luke shook his head and walked into the back. Oh Rory was not off the hook. Tonight, there would be a long talk about safety and emotional consequences and proper disposal of birth control so your mother doesn't see it and have an aneurysm. But everything would be okay. She and Rory would get back to normal and tell each other everything again. And she would try and like Jess.

But she was keeping the black shirt.