FOREVER

FOREVER

Year Two

Part 5

James awoke with a start. His charcoal hair was drenched with sweat and his breathing was painfully irregular. He had had the dream again, that cold, cruel laugh and those penetrating eyes, if you could call them that, He shivered. They had always appeared in the same order. First a swish of a cloak then the laugh and then and then… the red hot coals for eyes. The eyes were always what stayed the clearest in his mind for days, even weeks afterward. James shook his head as though trying to physically rid himself of the memory. His own clear blue eyes fell on the watch illuminated on his wrist. 6:00 AM. It was still very early. He sighed, feeling suffocated in the small room. He moved to the window and gazed outside. He still had at least a half-hour until dawn broke. The velvet twilight twinkled with stars. He couldn't stay in here any longer. With a swish of his invisibility cloak, he slipped out of the portrait clutching his broom. He was so bent on his destination that he didn't notice a redhead stealthily following him to the Quidditch field…

*****

Professor Albus Dumbledore was good at most everything he tried, and contrary to popular belief (especially by his critics) didn't only do things he enjoyed. The letter held in his hands was evidence enough of that. He'd had to do this several times over his career, but lately they were becoming more, and more common. To make the situation worse he had known this particular letter was coming for a long time. He had been prepared for it but that's what bothered him; no matter how much he had prepared himself and what he was going to say it didn't hurt any less. Nor was the shock any more diminished then when the first one of these letters had come. He remembered them all plainly, but one more than the rest. The boy in his memory had been only a second year too.

"Albus." Professor Dippet said acknowledging his presence for the first time in over ten minutes. Personally Albus thought that Dippet could be a little inconsiderate, but then he never was one to judge.

"You wanted to see me?" He said privately hoping to get out of there soon. Professor Dippet looked up and smiled.

"Ah, yes, I believe Mr. Hagrid is in your house." He said adjusting his glasses. Albus nodded; his face showing none of the impatience for these niceties he felt. After all Dippet knew very well that Mr. Hagrid was a Gryffindor.

"Well this just came from the ministry -" He handed Albus a letter. His eyes scanned over it quickly. When the meaning of the letter registered his eyes grew wide with shock. "- and I thought since he is in your house and you do know him well that perhaps you would like to break the news to him." Dumbledore nodded curtly and turned to leave. He knew that Dippet just didn't want to tell the boy the bad news, but he would rather have done it himself anyway. So Albus headed toward the place you were most likely to find Rubeus Hagrid on a Saturday afternoon: the Forbidden Forest.

Professor Dumbledore shook his head. Well he was headmaster now, and he wouldn't be hiding behind his title. He scribbled a note and handed it to his owl: Futger. Soon the unpleasantness would begin.

*****

Lily giggled and clapped her raw hands together gleefully. Above her James nearly fell off his broom. He had thought he was alone here but apparently not. He hoped she hadn't been there too long. With a showy swoop his feet touched the ground near her.

"Show off!" She grinned.

"How long have you been here?" His eyes scanned hers suspiciously.

"Hello to you too. And good morning might I add." He glared at her. "Sorry. Hmmm," She paused, thinking. "About forty-five minutes. Well as long as you have anyway."

"You followed me?" He was suddenly angry.

"I didn't follow you! I know exactly were the Quidditch field is. Besides I couldn't sleep, I had this really weird dream." Her voice went suddenly quiet. Before James could ask about her dream she pulled him towards the castle.

"Come on! It's almost time for breakfast and I'm really hungry." She dragged him to the old wooden door and he didn't protest. He was actually quite keen breakfast especially if they were serving pancakes.

*****

"James!" Sirius hissed, shoving his friend. James' head shot up.

"Wha? Where's the fire?" He asked stupidly. Several people giggled.

"Fire?" Professor McGonagall asked superiorly raising her eyebrows. "I wasn't aware of any fire. Perhaps you wish to enlighten us Mr. Potter?" James grinned, this was were he shined. James could make up a story to save his life, and Sirius' for that matter if the occasion arose. It wasn't so much that his lies were believable as that they were so outlandish that the teachers were often too amused to do anything.

"Well, you see Professor," He said thinking quickly when an idea struck him like lightning. He would have to thank Roslyn later for telling them about her sister. "Roslyn has an older sister who takes Divination. She taught us how to recall things that have happened from the past to you or anyone else if you're that advanced. You know sort of relive them." She nodded suspiciously. "Well I was just remembering yesterday's lesson about how to transfigure twigs into fire because-" He paused and glanced at Remus' notes. "Today we're Transfiguring water and since they are opposites I thought-"

"That will be quite enough Mr. Potter. " She cut him off. James grinned wider. He had won! Perfect, he had included school and relations with older students! She couldn't very well punish him for preparing for today's lesson, could she? He was just about to continue when Professor McGonagall's voice cut in through his egotistical thoughts. She herself was wearing a sly smile.

"Well Mr. Potter, since you obviously have such an intense talent for Divination I'm sure you won't mind signing up for it as one of you additional classes next year." James nodded genially; only mildly alarmed by the sweetness in her voice. " But, just to make sure you secure a position in Professor Trelawney's class I will speak to her personally and reserve you one." Her smile grew. "In the mean time though, I will arrange for you to have private lessons with her every Saturday afternoon, to harbor your, er, extraordinary talent." As she turned back to the blackboard James was sure he saw an evil glint in her eyes.

"Wonderful!" He thought sarcastically! "She must have heard Sirius and I talking yesterday, otherwise how could she know how much I utterly loathe Divination. I've really done it this time! I'm going to have private lessons and I have to sign up for next year too! This is great! Just great!" His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. A Ravenclaw-fourth year walked in.

"Yes Erin?" The professor asked.

"Professor Dumbledore wants to see Potter." She pointed to James who started to gather his things. Professor McGonagall sighed and nodded.

"Very well." She waved him away. "You can collect your homework from Mr. Black, who will be taking wonderful notes." The last part was directed to Sirius who blushed when he realized that his handwriting was barely legible.

"Remus, if I'm gone a long time feed Tiger and brush her k?" Remus nodded. James nodded and followed the girl to the headmaster's office. Last time he went to the headmaster's office he was gone a whole day because he had been sent to help Filch in the gardens. She was cold to him and only answered his questions with a curt "yes, no or I don't know" All in all James was very relieved when they parted ways and he entered the office with high spirits.

Professor Dumbledore observed him with increasing sadness. His good mood would only make this harder. He did his best to smile though

"Oh, James, good. Please take a seat." James chose the seat furthest from him. "I'm afraid we have something very serious to discuss." The smile that had decorated James' face for so long fled. This couldn't be good. The professor placed his old half moon glasses in front of him and took a deep breath.

"Are you aware of a wizard by the name of Voldemort?" James' nodded with growing apprehension. "Good. Then are you also aware that your parents were on assignment to watch him and his activities in southern Europe?" James didn't like were this was going. He didn't like it at all.

" I'm afraid that there is no easy way to tell you this, but you deserve to know the truth." He paused to think how to phrase his next words.

"Voldemort, used a curse that is still unknown, to us to kill your parents last week." James' blue eyes grew wide with shock. This couldn't be happening. He wouldn't believe it; e couldn't believe it. He began to violently shake his head.

"Yes, James, yes it happened you can't deny the truth. NEVER deny the truth." James tuned him out, lost in his own thoughts. Days later he vaguely remembered Dumbledore going more into the details surrounding his parents death and how their estate would be handled but at that moment it didn't matter, nothing mattered; not to James anyway. When the professor had dismissed him he was undecided as to where to go. He had been given the day off and wanted to be alone, at least for a little while. He surveyed several possibilities but all would contain his friends, or worse Snape. The dorm obviously would be where all his friends were or would be soon. Right now they had double Herbology with the Slytherins and the idea of facing Snape, Sirius, and Remus didn't excite him in the least. There was always the hideout but Lily was going to be tutoring Peter at 5, and he couldn't go tot he Quidditch Pitch because the Ravenclaws had practice in an hour; besides there was always the chance that his friends would see him when they were walking back from Herbology. They would want to know where he had been. So may questions too many questions. James wasn't ready. Just when he was sure he'd have to dig a hole to avoid his friends he came to Hagrid's Hut.

James knocked, uncertain as to whether or not this was a wise decision. He felt unable to think well sort of numb. After a minute or so the door swung open to reveal a tall, shaggy, man.

"Oy James!" He said cheerfully. His face soon resembled James' though when he saw the look James gave him. "Oh he told you didn', he?" He asked much quieter. James only bit his lip. Hagrid held the door open and gestured for James to walk in. James seemed to be going through the motions. He sat down opposite Hagrid and ate five rock cakes without even realizing it. At first they talked about things like the weather and other polite things avoiding the subject at hand at all costs. Finally, realizing that they couldn't go around it forever, Hagrid broke the ice.

"My dad died too. When I was in my second year." He said going quiet. James looked up, surprised.

"Really?" He asked, finding his voice hoarse. Hagrid nodded.

"Yeah, jus'… jus' after I sent him Fuzger fer Christmas. I thought I killed him at firs'." James looked at Hagrid with a new respect but no amount of respect would take away their deaths or the pain that came with it. "It gets easier yer know." He suddenly as though reading James' thoughts.

"I KNOW!" James said sullenly. He was silent for a while, they both were. "I hate him!" James cried passionately, banging his hand on the table. The tears that had been welling up for so long finally burst out of his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. They were accompanied by numerous 'I hate hims' and things of that sort. Hagrid let him do it, knowing that he needed to let it out. Finally, sore and exhausted James crept back to his dorm and hid under the covers, skipping dinner.

*****

Meanwhile back at the dorms…

"Uh guys, have you seen a cat?" Lily asked. Two pairs of eyes riveted to her as realization slowly crept over their faces.

"Oh no… Lily… you didn't!" Remus gasped! She nodded glumly.

"'fraid so. I didn't mean to lose her! I just looked away for a minute and she was gone!" Remus groaned and put his in his hands. Sirius looked at Lily imploringly as thought wishing she would say she was joking.

"James is going to kill us!" Sirius cried finally.

"Not if we find her before he finds out! Look she has to be here somewhere." Remus said, forever the rational one. Lily nodded.

"Yeah, that makes sense. Sirius why don't you check in your dorm, I'll check the third year girls and Remus you check in here. She has to be on this floor somewhere. If she's not we'll check the others." She started toward the door.

"Why can't I check the third year girls?" Sirius asked looking hurt. Remus smiled wryly.

"Because we're looking for a cat, not dates." Sirius feigned hurt but couldn't do it and grinned in the end.

"OK!" They set off for their respective destinations quickly. James loved that cat more than anything and it would kill him to lose her. Lily walked up to the door and rapped three time, when no answer was given she walked in. There were five seemingly identical beds. Upon closer inspection Lily found that many of the bedspreads were different and almost all of them were covered with stuffed animals. She was sure she spotted Tiger on the bed farthest from the door unfortunately it was just a stuffed animal. Suddenly a crash was heard from the hall and she heard Sirius cry: "I've found him!" Lily bounded out the door and into the boys dorm.

"Good, now when James gets back-" She stopped in mid-sentence. It appeared to her at least that Sirius was holding not only Tiger but James as well. At least she assumed it was James, if it wasn't that table sure had amazing taste in glasses. Remus joined them in the room and realized immediately what had happened.

"Sirius!" He groaned. "What happened." Remus looked very stressed out for a twelve-year old but then Sirius was his best friend and being a werewolf wasn't exactly stress free.

"I saw Tiger on my bed. Except for when I yanked the curtains back all the way I saw that Tiger wasn't the only thing in my bed. I reacted by pulling out my wand. I didn't know it was James, I swear." He held James out dismally for them to see.

"Well, that's OK, I guess. Just… you know… turn him back." Lily said praying that Sirius knew how to do that. Sirius didn't say anything.

"You can turn him back, right?" Remus asked a dangerous tone in his voice.

"Actually… no, not really, no." The castle shook with the screams that followed. When they had calmed down enough to escort James and Sirius to the hospital wing Lily reminded herself NEVER to sleep in Sirius' bed.

*****

After that huge display of emotions James displayed with Hagrid he didn't even crack a smile. He walked through classes, Quidditch practice, and the remaining detentions with a monotone attitude. When his friends finally did find out about his parents they tried, as tactfully as possible, to talk to him about it but he refused quite angrily. On the extremely rare occasion that he did exhibit emotion it was usually anger of some form. When the reading of the will had taken place he had turned his back on his estate and sold it including all of the house elves. Even his personal favorite, Dobby, was sold to a particularly nasty Slytherin fifth-year's named Lucious Malfoy did he show any regret. The Backs, Sarah and Trifid had been appointed as his guardians. James was perfectly happy to live with Sirius and his family but, well, it just wasn't the same. So it was with a heavy heart that school was ended and James began a new chapter of his life.

AN- WOW I really didn't think I would get this done so quickly! I'm glad I did though. This is one of my longer chapters. Please review! Well year two has ended I'll try to get three-part one soon!