FOREVER
Year four
Par six
Subtitled: Picking up the Pieces
A/N - Thanks to the following peeps for reviewing: Hermione, *****, Pyscho_Moondancer, BlueWriter, Caitlin Black, Rach
Jinskid3 - Haha, I LOVE reading funny reviews and so it follows I LOVE reading your reviews! You're hilarious!
*Hermiron778* - Haha I hate him too (it doesn't show too much, does it? Hehe JK) Thanks so much!
I'm going to try something a little different. Thoughts are in Italics. Periodically there will be a couple flashbacks and a few diary entries too. All in all, this chapter should be very diverse. Enjoy!
There was a time
When broken hearts and broken dreams
Were over.
There was a place where
All you could do was
Wish on a four-leaf clover.
But now is a new time
There is a new place
Where dreams just can't come true.
It started the day when I left you
I could never love again
The way that I loved you
I could never cry again like
I did when I left you
And when we said goodbye,
Oh the look in your eyes
Just left me beside myself
Without your heart (without your heart)
I could never love again
Now that we're apart
When I was sorry
It was too late to turn around (turn around)
And tell you so. There was no reason
There was no reason
Just a foolish beat of my heart.
Oh, can't you see
I'm not fooling nobody
Don't you see the tears are falling down my face
Since you went away
Break my heart, you slipped away
Didn't know I was wrong
Never meant to hurt you
Now you're gone
I could never love again
Now that we're apart. (now that we're apart)
I could never love again now that we're apart.
Foolish Beat - Debbie Gibson
Ooh, ooh, ooh
She's out of my life
She's out of my life
Ooh, ooh
I don't know whether to laugh or cry (to laugh or cry)
I don't know whether to live or die (live or die)
And it cuts like a knife (cuts like a knife)
She's out of my life
Ooh, ooh, ooh
She's out of my hands
Ooh, oh... She's out of my hands
To think for two years that she was here
And I took her for granted
I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
She's out of my hands
And so.....
So I've learned, that love is no possession
And I've learned, that love won't wait..... yeah
Now I've learned, love needs expression
But I've learned (learned) much too late
And she's out of my life
Out of my life
Damned indecision her locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life
Ooh, ooh, ooh
She's out of my life
SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE - 98 degrees
"Follow me, Ms. Evans, Mr. Lupin." Professor Dumbledore said, his lack of warmth glaringly apparent. Lily exchanged anxious looks with Remus.
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Flashback
November 11 - 3rd Year
"Happy Birthday LIL!" Her best friends Tina and Anna shouted as they smothered her in confetti!
"How does it feel to be thirteen?" Tina asked placing herself comfortably on Lily's bed. She tossed her dark brown hair confidently over her shoulder and placed a package in front off Lily. Lily smiled.
"You should know. You've been thirteen for over two months." Lily said with arched eyebrows as she reached for her gift.
"Nahah, not yet! You have to open this one first." Anna said pushing her gift into Lily. Lily started to grab it when Tina put her's in front of Anna's.
"Me first!" Tina cried. Anna glared playfully at Tina at put her's even closer.
"Nope! ME!!!" Anna grinned. "You like me better anyway, don't you Lil?" She asked in an overly sweet voice. Anna looking at Lily expectantly.
"Well-"Lily started to say as she put her hair up.
"See." Anna stuck her tongue out at Tina. Tina started to say something when there was a bright flash and a loud bang. Lily nearly fell out of her bed in surprise.
"James!" She gasped. "And… Sirius." She added lamely, coloring. Anna and Tina exchanged knowing looks. The boys thrust gifts at her. She grinned and opened them happily.
"You guys, look." Anna said pointing to the window.
"Oh." Tina gasped happily. "It snowed!" Sirius rubbed his hands together expectantly.
"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" He yelled! They all grinned and started for the door.
"Wait, what about Remus?" Lily asked. They all turned around.
"Remus is feeling… a little… ah…under the weather." Sirius said giving Lily a meaningful look.
"Oh." She said, embarrassed, and followed her friends out the door.
End Flashback
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Lily came out of the memory sobbing. She didn't how long she sat there but she did vaguely remember Professor Dumbledore explaining it to Remus.
"To those unskilled with using the pensieve the memory pick is a lottery. The memories that appear first are the ones that you have been repressing the most. If we go by this, chances are we'll have to go through quite a few more memories before we get to the one we want. Lily's been trying to forget too much." Dumbledore explained. Remus nodded and rubbed her back. When she had calmed down enough to function they went to the cabinet again and pulled out a second memory.
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"Daddy, Daddy please take me to the movie." Lily begged as she tripped over her chubby three year-old legs. Mr. Evans looked down to his youngest stepdaughter from his desk. He removed his glasses.
"Up you go." He said and hoisted her off the ground and onto her feet. He crouched down to her eye level hand held her to by the waist. "Now, what can I do for you my dear."
"I want to go to a movie. Do you want to go with me?" She asked quite seriously. Mr. Evans hid a smile.
"Not tonight sweetie. Its getting late, it's nearly twenty after seven. Can we go tomorrow?" She looked crestfallen as the words sunk in.
"Does… does that mean that its bed time?" She asked hesitantly. Mr. Evans nodded grimly. Lily sighed. "Five more minutes?" She asked hopefully. Mr. Evans tried not to smile too wide as he toyed with one of her little red braids.
"Nope not tonight, but if you hurry upstairs I'll read you and your sister a story." She nodded her head grimly with an expression much too old for her face and turned to the door. When she was nearly there she turned around again.
"Daddy?" She asked.
"Hmm?" He was looking through his papers.
"I love you." She said in a very sweet voice. He looked up tenderly.
"I love you too."
End Flashback 2
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Lily's response to the second memory was little better than the first if not worst. By lunch time they had gone through most of the memories that caused her pain even though most of them were happy. Finally they came to the memory of the dance.
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The Dance - fourth year
" I was just wondering if you wanted to dance, especially since you're not wanted and all." Remus asked, his voice sounded very uneasy, as though he was unsure. She nodded and followed him onto the dance floor leaving Anna to her own devices. They danced for a few more minutes until the song started to wind up. Lily smiled contentedly and looked to her left when suddenly she felt a strange pressure on her lips. To her horror she realized that Remus was kissing her. She pulled away quickly and slapped him hard across the face. She wasn't fast enough though because with a sickening feeling in the put of her stomach she saw James hit Remus square in the stomach. Remus sat there clutching his stomach in shock before punching James hard in the jaw. Before long they were wrestling on the ground. Sirius, seeing the trouble, ran over and pulled them apart. He glanced at each of them quickly. When he first looked, he glanced and looked away. Lily could barely watch she was so upset.
"Whoa. Remus? James?" Sirius did a double take. They continued to stay in resentful silence. James' rage was so concentrated that he didn't even notice Anna walk over. "Did you know you were fighting each other?" Sirius asked, surprise evident in his voice. "What happened here?" James looked away and Remus fought the hold the Sirius had over him. Suddenly James turned back to his friends.
"Nothing, anything that EVER happened here is over. OK? OVER! It's OVER." He shot meaningful glares at Lily and Remus and strode out of the room. Sirius hurried after him and Lily ran in the opposite direction, tears of shame welling in her eyes and Anna was close on her heels.
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The silence in the room was deafening as they came out of the memory. Lily stared resentfully out the window and Remus jumped up in protest.
"But I didn't kiss Lily!" He cried to the Professor. The Professor looked at him hard.
"Mr. Lupin," He said quietly. "Memories don't lie. Ms. Evans saw you kiss her."
"Well she saw wrong." He said with more edge than he meant. He took a deep breath and collected himself before continuing. "I mean sir, please check my memories I didn't even go into the dance. After I sold all the tickets I met Roslyn outside." He blushed at this point and fell silent. Professor Dumbledore stared at the boy for awhile.
'I see." He said and paused in thought. "Very well, Mr. Lupin please step forward." Remus walked up to the pensieve and deposited his memories.
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Flashback - Remus
The wind blew hard through the trees creating an eerie crying sound. The noise spurred five year-old Remus Lupin to race faster after his two big brothers. Darkness was falling quickly and he repressed a shudder at the thought of being left alone in the woods. Even at such a tender age he knew all to well the dangers of being alone in the forest after nightfall. From the time he could talk his parents had warned him continuously of the dangers that lurked when the sun set. Unfortunately, Remus was small for his age and when it came to keeping up with his friends he never made the cut. He saw Aaron disappear around the bend and struggled to keep them in his eyesight.
"Wait up you guys!" He called after them trying to keep pace even though he knew his short legs were no match for his siblings'.
"You're such a baby." Aaron scoffed just loud enough for his brother to hear but slowed down on Ryan, the eldest's, gesture. Remus huffed and puffed in the distance.
"I am not!" He said sounding quite indignant for a five year-old. When he had finally caught up with them, Ryan handed him some water.
"Than prove it!" Aaron sneered.
"Leave the kid alone, Aaron." Ryan said tiredly and tied Remus' shoes.
''OK! I will!" Remus said with more confidence than he felt. He eyed his brother warily. Aaron grinned at his little brother's remark.
"If you're not a baby then stay the night in the woods." Aaron gave the one ultimatum that he knew Remus would never go through with and even if he would Ryan would never let him.
"I can't." Remus squeaked. "Mum and dad won't let me."
"Mum and dad are at the warlocks convention and won't be back until Saturday." Aaron didn't bother to hide his delight at his victory. Remus squirmed uncomfortably. "So what'll it be?" Aaron asked with raised eyebrows.
"Forget it! I'm in charge while mum and dad are gone and they'll never forgive me if he gets eaten or something." Ryan glared at Aaron. "Let's go." He started for the house but Aaron lagged behind with Remus.
"We'll sneak out after Ryan goes to sleep. If you can stay out here all by yourself all night than I will never call you a baby again. Is it a deal?" He asked a smile playing on his lips. Remus sighed remembering the taunts from earlier.
"Not ever?" He asked, biting his lip. "Not even in front of your friends?" He looked up hopefully.
"Not even in front of my friends." Remus was quiet a moment longer before nodding. Aaron grinned. "Deal meet me out here after midnight." With that he ran ahead.
~*~*~*~*~
10 after Midnight
Remus searched through the darkness as best as he could. He squinted his eyes but still no shapes could be made out.
"Aaron?" He called tentatively. Aaron had left him over ten minutes ago but if it wasn't Aaron what else could that rustling be? "Aaron?" he called again a little louder. Suddenly there was footsteps behind him; he whirled around to see no one. Fear formed at the pit of his stomach and he swallowed loudly. Suddenly, and without warning there was a deafening roar. Remus screamed as two sets of canines sunk into his neck and darkness fell. When Remus awoke he found Ryan arguing with Aaron.
"You WHAT?" He yelled at Aaron. "How could you? What is the matter with you? You just ruined your little brother's life and all because you think he's a baby?"
"Why are you yelling at me? He was the one who went out there and got bitten." Aaron joined in the screaming fest. Ryan stared furiously at his brother.
"He "went out there and got bitten" as you put it, so that you wouldn't think he was a baby. He went out there to win your approval. That kid idolizes you and what do you do? Call him names and ruin his chances of a semi-normal life. What with mum and dad say?" His voice was becoming progressively louder. "No, hang mum and dad! What will the ministry say?" Aaron stared miserably at Ryan and shrugged although it was a rhetorical question. "You do realize that he will never be able to go to Hogwarts now. You know what their policy on werewolves is.'' Pried his eyes open at this point and looked to his brothers.
"He's awake." Aaron said nudging Ryan. Ryan stopped in mid rant and smiled at his brother.
"Hey buddy." Remus tried to return the smile but he hurt all over.
"Aaron?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah?" Aaron used a gentle tone he had never used with Remus before.
"Even though I didn't spend the whole night in the forest, am I still a baby?" He asked quite seriously. Aaron exchanged looks with Ryan.
"You were never a baby." He said sincerely. Remus smiled happily and fell asleep quite unaware of the fate that had befallen him.
End Flashback
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"Oh Remus." Lily gasped. "I had no idea." Remus shrugged listlessly. The professor looked at him with concern.
"Do you want to take a break Mr. Lupin?" He asked, seriously considering summoning the nurse. Remus shook his head and moved to the pensieve.
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Flashback 2
The Dance - Remus' POV
"That'll be two galleons Sirius." Remus said holding out his hand to collect the money. On his arm, Roslyn giggled at Remus as she and Sirius headed inside. Thirty minutes passed before she came marching back out.
"Unbelievable!" Roslyn cried, throwing her hands up in dismay.
"What?" Remus asked as he sorted the money into piles.
"Sirius asks me to the dance and spends the whole time with Anna. To top it all off, some guy, I didn't see his face, kissed Lily just now; so James and the guy are dukeing it out." As if on cue James burst out of the door with Sirius hot on his tail.
"Maybe I should go after him." Remus said starting to get up. Much to his surprise, Roslyn had attached her lip to his.
"Oh I think he'll quite alright." She said during breaths. "After all Sirius is there. I mean what can you do that Sirius can't?" There was another period of no speaking before Remus was quite convinced.
"I guess you're right." He said. Professor Dumbledore chose to end that memory right there.
End Flashback
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"This doesn't make any sense! How can I kiss you and you be out of the room and kiss Roslyn at exactly the same time." Lily shook her head, it didn't make any sense. "Professor?" She looked hopefully to the professor. Professor Dumbledore sighed.
"I don't understand this either Ms. Evans. But we didn't come here to discuss this; we came to discuss your situation last night." She nodded and placed another memory in the pensieve. She looked at the professor tiredly.
"This should be from later that night." She said and allowed herself to be absorbed in the memory.
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Flashback - Lily
After the dance
"Well don't just stand there, help! We have to get her to the nurse." Lessie said. Lily stared horrified at her friend's form. In front of her the boys hoisted Anna up and a small scream escaped as the almost dropped her half-way down the stairs. Between the six of them, they managed to get to the nurse alive.
"What happened?" The nurse demanded staring pointedly at Sirius.
"What?" He yelled, throwing his hands up. "I didn't do anything." Everyone glared at him and James snorted something that sounded strangely like "yeah right". Lessie rolled her eyes and after making sure that Anna was situated on the nearest bed grabbed the two calmest people nearest to her and left the room with the nurse to explain what had happened. With Lessie, Roslyn, and Sirius gone the air turned awkward again. James was trying to look at Anna but kept finding his gaze on Lily instead and Lily, was staring determinedly out of the window, debating whether to hit James for doing this to her or Remus for putting her in this position in the first place. Remus was looking extremely confused and looked back on forth between his two friends trying to figure out what was going on. Lily was crying but James wasn't holding her; he wasn't even comforting her. Peter was watching all of this with increasing satisfaction.
"Okay, What the hell is going on?" Remus asked finally after about thirty more seconds of silence.
"Stop pretending that you don't know, this is getting really old!" James banged his hand loudly on the bed. Lily immediately glared at him.
"Stop it James! You'll wake Anna up." She growled. James gave a hollow laugh.
"No I won't, she's unconscious." He sneered at her. "You'll be lucky if she ever wakes up again, and don't tell me what to do." He said his voice rising.
"Don't talk like that." She screamed with pain.
"James." Remus growled warningly but James was hurting too and he was on a roll; he wouldn't be deterred.
"With you as her friend she'll die." He knew what he was saying was very, very wrong but something in him had gone temporarily crazy and he plunged recklessly on. "Your friends have a habit of doing that. Not even your family stuck around." Lily gasped in pain as the truth of his words hit her. With a shocked shake of her head she got up and ran quickly from the room. Peter stayed where he was and made no motion to go after her and James' pride prevented him from doing so, so Remus ran after her. Lily ran blindly through the hallways until she collapsed in utter exhaustion and sobs. Remus approached her tentatively and lifted her up. With a sigh he carried her shaking form to her bed and laid her on the bed. Her body racked with sobs and she clung to him on the bed. Lily cried herself to sleep and Remus drifted off whispering soothing things in her ear.
End Flashback
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Lily sat anxiously in her chair. She wrung her hands and waited as patiently as possible for the verdict. Finally, after what seemed like hours of silence, Professor Dumbledore looked up.
"I see." He said quietly. "Considering the circumstances, I see no reason to punish you." Lily sighed with relief. "Now, as for the incident of Remus being in two places at once," He paused as an owl flew into his hands. "Excuse me." He said and pulled the message from its talons. He frowned visibly. "I'm afraid I've been called away on urgent business." He folded the paper up. "We'll continue the conversation later and with Mr. Potter and Mr. Black too. Take the rest of the day off." With that he dismissed them and they went their separate ways: Lily to the infirmary and Remus take a ride on a broomstick.
*****
The days, all though relatively short by the clock's standards, stretched on and on. For James, each day was worse than the last especially with his estrangement from his friends. After the night of the dance James had cut himself off from everybody. Even though Remus claimed nothing had happened (and he was right) James refused to believe him. Remus, who was ordinarily the peacemaker, was holding out his own on this one. He was just as stubborn as James and since he really hadn't done anything with Lily, he saw no reason to apologize. Sirius tried to take over Remus' spot as the peacemaker but he was really miserable at it and soon went back to his previous position with the ladies. Lily spent all of her free time with Anna in the infirmary. She still hadn't woken up.
*****
"Please tell Lily to pass the eye of newt." James said to Sirius one day in potions. Sirius glared at James but asked Lily to pass the eye of newt.
"Please tell James that I wonder why he even allows you to talk to me, since he seems to have so little faith in his best friends." Sirius sighed and turned to James.
"Lily says that she wonders why you even let me talk to her since you have so little faith in your best friends." He repeated in a monotone before returning to his potion.
"Tell Lily that I would have a lot more faith in my best friends if I didn't have to worry about my girlfriend constantly seducing them." He said coldly.
"Are you suggesting that I seduced Remus?" She demanded banging her bottle peppersnout on the table.
"As you hear." He said coolly. And returned to his potion.
"Well, at least they're talking." Remus shrugged to Sirius. Sirius glared at him.
"What?" He asked innocently. "They have to start somewhere."
*****
"What is up with you?" Sirius asked harsher than he meant. James shrugged and continued to stare listlessly out the window. The silence was dominant for awhile longer before the portrait door swung open. Lily walked miserably in the room, barely avoiding tripping over her own feet. She saw James and Sirius in the corner and stared unhappily for a moment. With one more glance at James she trudged up the steps. James stared hungrily after her. "That's it!" Sirius said getting to his feet. "Come with me."
"Where are we going." He asked groggily. Sirius looked at his friend in disgust.
"It's four in the afternoon and you are still in your Pajamas. You're going upstairs and changing and then you are making up with Remus. After that we're going to pay Snape a little visit." He dragged James to his feet and up the stairs. When they reached their dorm he pushed the door open.
"Remus." Sirius called. Remus appeared from behind his curtains.
"Yeah Sirius?" He asked.
"James has something to say to you. Don't you James?" He said yanking James from behind him and giving him a hard glare. James nodded resignedly.
"ilkdfsdjf." He muttered under his breath.
"What?" Remus asked, putting down his book. James looked imploringly at Sirius who just waved his fist threateningly.
"I'm sorry." He said louder. Remus just stared. "I said, I'm sorry." He said again louder still as he mistook Remus' silence for miscomprehension. Remus found his voice again.
"So you believe me?" He asked barely daring to believe it. James nodded.
"I talked to Professor Dumbledore and Roslyn." He started for the door again but Sirius yanked him back.
"Oh no you don't. You're not moping all afternoon, get dressed." He ordered and flung James at his closet. James looked back at Sirius with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever.
"I miss her." He whimpered. Sirius sighed and whispered something to Remus. He nodded.
"James, we have a surprise for you but only if you get dressed like a good boy." Remus spoke in soothing tones and opened James' closet for him. James' looked up brightly.
"A surprise?" He asked hopefully.
"Yes but only if you get dressed and do as you're told. Now, go take a shower." James bounded into the bathroom. Sirius turned to Remus.
"That's why I never get into real relationships." He said staring after his friend. "Look what they do to you." The boys shook their heads and got their supplies ready for the upcoming prank.
Two hours later
"You are soooo dead Potter, Black, Lupin! I'm going to Professor Dumbledore!" Snape came screaming as he followed them blindly. Little did he realize that they had led him into the Great Hall right in the middle of dinner. All eyes turned to the Slytherin who was stripped to his boxers which read in neon, I LOVE FILCH. The room cracked up and McGonagall demanded to see them. Dumbledore sighed with contentment as the trio was shipped off to detention. Things were getting back to normal.
*****
On the day the November 11th dawned, Lily climbed out of her warm bed into the cold air. She laughed bitterly to herself when she remembered her birthday last year.
She sighed. Somehow it seemed wrong to be alone on your birthday. The day had been just as dreary last year but it had been somehow different when she had been able to have snowball fights with her friends. She looked to the foot of her bed. There were six gifts. She reached for the first one. It was from her Aunt and Uncle. She tore back the paper and found a card.
My Dear Niece,
We're sorry we couldn't be with you today. We would love to have you home for Christmas but a family emergency has come up in Albania. We don't want you to spend another Christmas at school so we've arranged for you to go spend Christmas with Petunia. We're really sorry dear but Christmas is a time for family. Sirius and James will be staying at school. You haven't seen your sister in a year so make the best of this visit! We love you a lot and we hope that you have a Happy Birthday.
Lots Of Love,
Your Aunt Rose and Uncle Trifid
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
P.S. What would you like from Albania?
Lily sighed.
Hey Lily,
Happy Birthday. To tell you the truth I was seriously wondering what to get you. Buying gifts for girls has never been a problem for me but this was the first one in a long time that wasn't for romantic purposes.
Lily smiled at her cousin's egotistical remarks. Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all.
So after awhile I decided on this. I remember you saying you would like this…. So ENJOY!
Your favorite cousin,
Sirius Black
Lily cried out in happiness when she saw what was enclosed. There were two theater tickets to her favorite play in London- My Fair Lady. They were for over Christmas break! She nearly shouted in glee but stopped herself when she saw that Katie, Roslyn, and Lessie were still asleep. With an ever-growing grin, she reached for another gift. This card was done in Remus' hand.
Happy Birthday LILY!
I'm sorry about the events of recently but it can't be helped. James is so miserable he didn't even notice Sirius and I slip out to send our gifts. I hope you like it; my gift I mean. Don't worry I cleared it with Dumbledore already. This was supposed to be from Anna and I and I'm sure she'd write you a note if she could. See you at breakfast.
Your friend,
Remus
Lily smiled at the gift even though her mood had become much more somber since reading the note. Inside of the box was a beautiful sleeping kitten. Its calico fur wasn't very long and she had a lovely (but clumsily tied) black ribbon around its neck. She took the kitten out and petted it gently. She wasn't sure how long she sat there holding the kitten and staring out the window, but when she finally came out of her daze she had a strange sort of feeling inside. She looked determinedly at the kitten and gave a tight smile. She knew what she was going to name her.
"Tina." She whispered. It felt so good to finally say the name aloud, almost as though she had made peace with herself. She didn't even realize that she was crying. All she knew was that she felt giddy as a schoolgirl and was laughing very loudly. Katie awoke to a very strange sight. Lily was sitting Indian-style on her bed, holding a kitten, and laughing uncontrollably through her tears. Her red hair held definite signs of bed head.
"Are you ok?" Katie asked in alarm. Lily looked only mildly interested that her friend was shocked.
"I've never been so happy in my life." She giggled as tears streamed down her face.
"Then why are you crying?" Katie asked, eyes wide.
"I have no idea! Isn't it a beautiful day?" She asked brightly and threw the window open." Katie was seriously wondering if Lily had hit her head during the night. The day was one of the grossest she'd seen in awhile and you'd have to be nearly blind to call it beautiful.
"Lily! What are you doing?" She asked shoving the window closed again. "It's like, twenty degrees outside. Are you crazy?" Lily only smiled and turned back to her gifts.
"I think." She said finally. "That this is the first time in two weeks that I'm actually sane."
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An Excerpt from the Diary of Lily Evans
Today was just like every other day. I haven't a clue why it was so much more bearable. Anna looked exactly the same and I hope she improves soon. I had all of my classes with James, which was extremely awkward because we're partners in every class.
Not to self: NEVER partner with your boyfriend for the semester in EVERY class-you'll regret it later!
Tina (the cat) was very good and for the sake of confusion is henceforth known as Tina the II. TII stayed with Tiger, James' cat, most of the day. I brought her to see Anna but I know she can't REALLY understand about TII since she's unconscious and all.
I'm so tired of this situation. Remus and Sirius are talking to me but only when James isn't around. I don't get it, if he can forgive Remus why can't he forgive me? I didn't do anything and to be perfectly honest, I miss James. I miss everything about him. Maybe I should just apologize, no I don't think that would be a good idea. I didn't do anything. HE should apologize to ME not the other way around. My birthday was terrible yesterday without him and I have no idea who I'm going to take to My Fair Lady now. I'll probably be forced to take Petunia! Ugh! I wish that stupid dance had never happened.
Life's even worse without Anna. What if she dies or stays in a coma forever? What did I do to deserve all this. Ugh now I'm all depressed and won't be able to enjoy my dinner. Not that its fun eating by myself anyway, but still.
The Journal of James Potter
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Remus
Ugh I can't stand this anymore! If James doesn't stop staring at Lily I will certainly throw up.
James
Should I? Should I not? I mean what's the worst that can happen? She could say no. Then I'd be no worse off then I am now. Miserable and near suicide but no worse off. OOOh tests. Another 100%.
Oh he is SO cute when he bites his lip like that! Stop it Lily you're mad at him, remember? But it is SO hard to be mad at him when he's all concerned like that. Awww! Stop it girl! Listen to yourself, you sound like Maggie! Oh thank god, a 93% I was sure I would fail! Sirius looks awful happy!
Yes a 100! Take that James! Oh, he's too busy staring at Lily. They are really pathetic sometimes, geeze! Hello! Best friend here! Wants to compare grades! Earth to James! FINE Be that way.
