FOREVER
Year Four
Part Seven
Subtitled: Becoming a Whole Again
Dedicated: To my favorite author on FFN- Arwen you're the best!
A/N -I think this is one of my favorite parts so far. Its almost ALL James and Lily but there's just enough Sirius and Remus to add some humour. I wouldn't want to gross you all out with ALL mush. Okay this song (Below) was too perfect for the plot of this story! I was so pleased when I saw it, I was like, YES!!!! It fits so well. Also the Title to the story is answered in the very end so stay tuned. Please review. Thanks so much to the following people for reviewing. Sonadora Virtuoso7, Trista_Setsuna, ginny, Jinskid3, Lado's Star, SoMeOnEsPeCiAl, *Hermiron778*, Jupiters^Angel, Emily, The Real Baka, Rose Weasley, gina, critique, Gurlie409, Loren, Blue Writer,
Fifth Heir - Thank you so much that is one of THE nicest compliments I have ever received.
Arwen - I take back the aforesaid thing to Fifth Heir you and Fifth Heir tie! You are soooo nice!!!
Oh and to Fifth Heir, Lado's Star, and SoMeOnEsPeCiAl I'm sorry I didn't thank you on my last fic, for some reason I wasn't sent your review.
Disclaimer - I haven't done one of these in forever so here goes, I own Katie, Roslyn, Eric, Sirius' parents, Lily's parents, James' parents ect. (Granted, several of the above listed are dead.) Anna is owned by herself (AKA Toli), Tina is owned by herself (AKA Gina), And Lessie is owned by herself (AKA Celeste & Lessie). Everything else is owned by WB and J.K. Rowling
Even a lover
Makes a mistake sometimes
Like any other
Fall out and lose his mind
And I'm sorry for the things I did
For your teardrops over words I said
Can you forgive me
And open your heart once again, oh yeah
It's true
I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true
Without you I would fall apart
oh yeah
Whatever happened
I know that I was wrong, oh yes
Can you believe me
Maybe your faith is gone (oh yes it is)
But I love you and I always will
So I wonder if you want me still
Can you forgive me
And open your heart once again, oh yeah
It's true (yes it's true)
I mean it (yeah)
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true (it's true)
Without you I would fall apart
oooh
I'd do anything to make it up to you
So please understand (please understand)
And open your heart once again
It's true
(hoh...)
I mean it (oh, oh, oh)
From the bottom of my heart (from the bottom of my heart)
Yeah, it's true (yeah)
Without you I would fall apart (apart)
It's true (you know it's true, babe)
I mean it (you know I mean it)
From the bottom of my heart (from the bottom of my heart)
Yeah, it's true (I mean it)
Without you I would fall apart
It's True - Backstreet Boys
"This is it you guys!" Sirius' grinned with barely contained excitement. He stirred the cauldron with more exuberance than Lily was comfortable with. She checked the holdings to make sure they were secure, she wasn't sure she could explain it to her aunt and uncle if the potion spilled on Sirius and killed him. She could picture it now.
Dear Uncle Cruis and Aunt Sarah,
I hope everything is going all right in Albania. It snowed here today. Please bring me back a souvenir.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Sirius was killed yesterday while making an illegal potion to help his werewolf friend. James says hi.
Yeah right! Lily laughed to herself. Fortunately James was thinking along the same lines.
"Whoa buddy, what are you trying to do? Hit it into submission? Why don't you give me a turn." James reached for the ladle.
"No!" Sirius said clutching it to him. "Don't wanna." James smiled at his friend and spoke in soothing tones.
"Give me the ladle Sirius and you can look at this pretty book." James showed him a book he had just bought at Zonkos.
"Oooooh Pictures!" He dropped the ladle in James' hands and snatched the book away quickly. Lily shook her head in amusement.
"Okay James." She held out her hand expectantly.
"I'm going to stir." He said shortly and moved to the cauldron. She stepped in front of him.
"No your not, I'm going to." She reached for it. James held onto to his end and glared furiously at her.
"Stop being so stupid and give me the ladle, Evans." He growled. They stood for some moments, each gripping the ladle tightly and neither willing to back down. Finally Lily threw her half at him.
"Fine, if you must be juvenile." She said with a sneer. She whirled around toward the different ingredients and looked for the next one that they would be using. Remus took a deep breath to stop himself from strangling one or, if they really tried his patience, all of his friends. He turned toward Lily and asked in a rather tight voice, if she could pour in the Knodwart. James looked at Remus in a strange way.
"Are you crazy? She'll ruin the potion! That's the last ingredient and if too much is put in the whole thing goes down the drain." James put his hand out expectantly. Lily gave a short laugh.
"Oh, and I suppose you can do it? Please." She gave him a scalding glare and moved to the cauldron. "James let go!" she cried as he gripped the bottle from the other end of the cauldron. He glared at her.
"No you'll ruin it! You'll ruin everything. You seem to have a knack for that." He icy tone couldn't be ignored and she gripped the bottle tighter.
"Hey James!" Sirius called from the corner, resuming his former personality. "Be nice! That last one was below the belt."
Remus put his head in his hands. "Not again." He sighed.
"Are you implying that it's my fault our relationship ended?" She gasped and pulled hard on the bottle. He responded in like.
"I'm not implying it, I'm saying it." He tugged even harder on his end.
"When will it end?" Remus looked skyward. "When?"
"Need I remind you, that YOU were the one who was snogging Maggie Boots at all hours of the morning." She gave him a challenging look.
"I'm a good guy. Really, I try hard to do the right thing. So then why am I stuck with them?" Remus pointed helplessly at his friends.
"Ooh Blood Pops!" Sirius gave a giggle and everyone turned to glare at him.
Peter looked up brightly from the potion book. "Really let me see?" He rushed over to Sirius.
"See." He pointed to the picture in front of him. " B is for Blood Pops."
"James, I mean it, stop!" She gave one last hard pull on her end of the bottle, which was unfortunately the top. The lid came tumbling off and the entire bottle, large quantities of Knodwart and all, when into the potion with a swish. In the time it took for Remus to wave his wand and James and Lily to dive for cover, the potion blew up.
Lily coughed and sat up with a groan. "Ugh why aren't we dead?" She asked as she held her head in her hands. The room was a disaster. The cauldron had exploded and the pieces had found lovely homes by destroying everything, except for the people. Remus looked at her crossly.
" I put a protection spell on us." He said shortly and moved to clear the debris. Sirius clutched his head.
"Bloody hell, if you put a protection spell on us then why do I feel like a dragon just sat on my head?" He rubbed a particularly sore spot tenderly.
"That wasn't a dragon, that was Lily." James said with a glare in Lily's direction. Lily seethed with fury.
"Nice guys!" Remus said pulling out his wand to clean up the mess. "God, can't you act your age for five minutes?" With a swipe of his wand the liquid disappeared. He helped Lily up. "It's be another nine months now before you can be Animagus." He said suddenly looking very tired. James looked at his feet ashamedly.
"That long?" Lily asked pulling what was left of the shelves upright. Peter started gathering the books that had been holding the cauldron up.
"Three months to gather new materials and six to stew. You know that." Remus started for the door, dragging Sirius and Peter with him. Lily and James started to follow. "No. You will not leave this room until you can act like adults. You don't have to love each other, you don't even have to like each other, but you will get along. This isn't the first thing you've ruined because of your stupid pride but it will be the last." And in an unusual show of force he slammed the door. On the other side they could barely hear Sirius.
"But I left the pictures!" He whined. Had Lily not been so angry, she would have laughed.
*****
"Why wasn't I informed earlier?" Mrs. Fisher demanded at the sight of her daughter lying unconscious on the bed. Professor McGonagall gazed at her pityingly.
"We felt that it was best to see if she recovered on her own first. Of course you'll be taking her home for Christmas." Professor McGonagall said, her face resuming its former business-like manner. Mrs. Fisher nodded mutely as she played with her daughter's hair.
"How shall I take her? Can she even be moved." Mrs. Fisher didn't even bother hide the pain in her face. Professor McGonagall nodded as a sigh escaped from her lips.
"Yes, her body is healed completely there is just no way we can wake her up. As for how you should take her, perhaps a broom would be best. Floo Powder is too risky. " Professor McGonagall said briskly. "Evans should be here any moment to say good-bye. I can't imagine where she is, it isn't like her to be late." The professor shook her head thoughtfully and left to find a broom large enough for the mother and daughter. Mrs. Fisher just played restlessly with her daughter's sheets. No one saw the tears creep grudgingly down her face.
*****
"Its no use! We're stuck in here." James said as he turned the knob one last time. Lily looked at him in alarm.
"I can NOT be stuck in here with YOU!" She said and pushed him aside to try her own hand at the door.
"Thanks." James said dryly. "I never knew what great company I was until I met you, Lil," He threw himself down on the closest pile of rubble." You seem to have done me a world of good." He adjusted himself with a wince as a piece of wood stuck him in the lower back.
"Yeah, well, just returning the favor." She grunted with effort, as she tried to push the door physically open.
"Its no use." He said easily, leaning against the wall. "It's sealed magically and Remus is amazing at charms." He put his hands behind his head and crossed his legs out in front of him.
"Yeah, well I'm better." Lily whipped out her wand and did a series of ineffective counter charms. Finally she threw her hands up in frustration and turned back to James. Much to her fury he was wearing an amused expression. "What's so funny?" She asked putting her hands on her hips and looking remarkably childish.
"You, you just can't admit when your wrong, can you?" He asked allowing a chuckle to escape for affect. She gasped in anger.
"About the door? Well I didn't see you open it. Or about our "relationship"? Cause if its that, then your wrong because I can admit when I'm wrong. If there is anything I was ever wrong about, it was you and whatever we might have had. There I admitted it." She said and stared resentfully at him from the spot she had taken at the opposite end of the floor.
"So you admit it was your fault we broke up, then?" He asked his face ever calm. Lily blanched.
*****
"Ooh James!" Sirius cried into the mirror as he watched his two friends fight. "That was cold."
"What did he say now?" Remus asked with out looking up from his book. Sirius tore his eyes from the scene and back to his friends. Peter was working on a charms paper that was due on Monday and Remus was sitting cross-legged on his bed reading a book about Quidditch.
"He's demanding that Lily admit that the break up was her fault." Sirius said and turned quickly back to the mirror.
Remus flinched for his red haired friend. "That was uncalled for." Remus said without much in enthusiasm. "Do you really think its necessary to watch them like a Quidditch game? Isn't it kinda like invasion of privacy or something?" Remus asked.
"How else are we supposed to know when they are getting along?" Sirius grinned wickedly. "Ooh she just slapped him." Sirius cried. "That's gonna leave mark." He winced and conjured up some popcorn and magicked the armchair in the corner near him. He sat down heavily and watched the fight ensue, shoveling popcorn steadily into his mouth the entire time.
"Really? Let me see." Remus ran up to the mirror and grabbed the chair nearest to him. Only Peter stayed where he was. Periodically he would look up and watch the fight with a certain amount of satisfaction that only comes from a job well done.
*****
Lily sat in her corner with her knees drawn to her chest and her cheeks flushed from exertion. Angry tears fought to make their way out but she blinked them back forcefully. Directly across from her James ran one hand through his hair while the other nursed a swollen cheek that would almost certainly bruise. Finally he sighed.
"Lily, this is stupid. I don't want to fight anymore." He looked at her tiredly for a response. Little did he know that across the castle two Gryffindor boys were cheering at this development. Lily bit her lip hard in thought. She was still angry but even someone with her temper could see that fighting wouldn't achieve anything. She sighed resignedly.
"Agreed." She said shortly not trusting herself to say anymore.
"We should probably talk about what happened. You know get it all out in the open." He persisted, aware that he was on very shaky ground even with the new-found treaty. Don't blow it James Sirius thought in fourth year boy's Gryffindor dormitory.
"Yes, we should." Was all Lily would offer. James sighed.
"Okay, then, I'll start. I'm sorry." He said flatly. Lily kept her silence and waited for him to elaborate. There was a very awkward pause. "Erm." He said finally. "And… I…um…I miss you." Lily hid a smile. Before she could stop herself, she couldn't help thinking how cute he looked when his face was a scrunched up like that in thought. It was obvious that he was trying and even she could admit that he wasn't exactly the most articulate person to begin with.
"I'm sorry too." Lily finally joined the conversation, much to James, Sirius, and Remus' relief.
"I should never have snogged Maggie." James ran a hand through his hair again. Lily was suddenly filled with jealousy at the thought of someone else kissing her boyfriend but she realized just in time that a) he wasn't her boyfriend anymore and b) a jealous outburst would not exactly be timely right now. She turned her lips into a rather pathetic smile.
"Why did you kiss her anyway? I'm seriously confused about that." Lily asked trying to keep her voice neutral instead of accusing. James bit his lip thoughtfully. He knew he was really going to have to choose his words very carefully.
"I… I suppose I should start from the beginning. When Remus first came in, the night of the dance, we asked him where he had been. He looked kinda dreamy and he said he had been kissing this really hot girl." He paused and both Remus and Lily winced at this point, though for different reasons. "I immediately assumed it was you because of the whole dance mix-up and left in a jealous rage before anyone could explain to me that it was Roslyn, not you, that he had been making out with." He smiled sheepishly.
"Wait a second." Lily interrupted. "So you knew that I didn't kiss Remus on purpose?" She asked begging herself not to lose her temper again. He nodded warily, watching her facial expressions to make sure she was angry. Lily took a deep breath to calm herself. "And you didn't say anything? Why? Did you WANT to fight with me? We could have made up a lot sooner." James shrugged helplessly.
"I was hurt, you had kissed my best friend." He saw her glare and winced without meaning to. "However unintentionally." He added. "I guess I didn't want people to think I was, you know, weak. Letting my girlfriend walk all over me." He looked down at the floor and gulped, not wanting to meet her angry stare any longer.
Lily stared at him in disbelief. "You broke up with me because of your pride?" She asked her voice shaking dangerously. "Because of your god damn pride? "
"You broke up with me." He pointed out gently. She glared at him.
"That's beside the point." She snapped. "Do have any idea what kind of hell I've gone through without you? Do you know what my birthday was like? My best friend in the hospital and my other friends tiptoeing because they didn't want to disturb YOU?" She turned away bitterly as the memories returned to her. "Oh Anna." She said gasping. "Her mother was supposed to come today. I missed it! I was supposed to be there to meet her to say good bye to Anna." She sighed in frustration. "I'm so stupid. The next time I see her will probably be at her funeral." She muttered staring disparately out the window where the sun was just setting.
Don't talk like that." James said.
"What do you care?" She snapped bitterly, still avoiding his gaze.
"More than you know." He said quietly. She looked back sharply, and quickly looked away. Why hadn't she noticed how blue his eyes were before? Why hadn't she noticed how they sparkled? Why was her heart beating so hard? It couldn't be healthy for her pulse to race like that. Was her stomach doing flip-flops earlier? She strained her mind to remember. Suddenly she became painfully aware of the fact that she was quite alone in a very small room with James for an indefinite period of time. The butterflies tripled. "Please, don't be mad at me." He begged, his voice still uncharacteristically quiet.
"For someone with a lot of pride you seem to have no scruples in begging." She said archly meeting his gaze once again. He laughed lightly.
"Yeah well when its worth it, I think I can make the sacrifice. Besides this is just between you and me right? Sirius would never let me forget it if he found out about this." He smiled winningly. Lily laughed, a sound James had been longing to hear.
*****
"Damn right, Jamie!" Sirius laughed and prepared himself for his theatrical debut. "Yeah well its worth it, just this once!" Sirius did an overly dramatic impression of his friend and fell onto the bed in a groan-worthy swoon. "Ow… Hey! Stop that." He tried to protect himself from the onslaught of books the girls were throwing at him.
"I think its sweet." Lessie sighed looking dreamy. Katie cupped her chin in her hands.
"Lily's so lucky." Katie agreed.
"I know." Roslyn shook her head. "Its not fair. I want that." Now she sighed. Remus and Sirius shook their heads in disgust.
"Forget it. James has been like that about Lily ever since our first year. Its crazy." Sirius laughed and threw a pillow at Roslyn. Roslyn didn't take the bait though but turned back to the mirror instead. Sirius sighed. "We'd better be careful." He said. "James is ruining the field for the rest of us." Katie glared at him.
*****
"Maybe we should just be friends for now." Lily said carefully. "You know to give us time to build up trust…and stuff." She finished lamely. James hid a smile.
"Okay." He said. Lily offered a hand.
"Friends?" She asked. James looked at her outstretched hand, he longed to bypass it and go straight to holding her but that wouldn't very prudent right now, considering he had just agreed to be her friend. She misread his hesitation and began to drop her hand along with her smile. He grabbed it just in time. And smiled charmingly at her.
"Friends." He agreed. "Forever." He added with a bit of a smile playing at his lips.
"Forever?" She asked, an eyebrow raised. She couldn't help thinking that that was a bit of a commitment to make at fourteen.
"FOREVER." He said without hesitation. Lily finally returned his smile rather shyly and it wasn't long before they were grinning at each other like crazy. Neither was aware of their friends cheering like mad back at the dorm. In fact its questionable whether or not they were even aware that there was a world outside of the small, storage room in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Let alone that they were a part of one. "Hang this." James said suddenly and pulled her gently to him.
*****
"Come up for air already!" Sirius cried as they flung the door open and he rushed in. Their lips parted but Lily saw no immediate reason for her to leave his arms and she was quite happy right there. He had his arms wrapped protectively around her waist. Lily colored involuntarily and licked her lips. Remus watched this scene with a friendly smile.
"Hand it over Sirius, I believe it worked." Remus stretched his hand out calmly. Sirius reached reluctantly into his pocket and handed over his money.
"There goes your Christmas present, Remus." He said somewhat resentfully.
"Who cares." He said gleefully. "With this kind of money I can buy my own Christmas present." He counted the money loudly.
"Hey Remus, what spell did you use to lock us in here." James asked after a moment. Remus stopped mid-count and paused thoughtfully.
"Discentium." He said finally.
"Can you do me a couple favors, they're fairly small?" James asked. Remus looked up from his money again, however reluctantly.
"What?" He asked warily, not even trying to hide the suspicion in his voice.
"One, walk out of that door with Sirius and perform the spell again. And two, come back for us in two hours." Remus laughed as James grinned cheekily at Lily.
"'Friends' indeed." Remus laughed to himself and shut the door soundly behind him. "I wish I had 'friends' like that."
"You've got me." Sirius said smiling charmingly. Remus snorted.
"Some how I'd rather have the red-head." He laughed.
