Paper Lanterns

By Shannon the Twisted Link Worshiper

Author's Note Glad you've made it this far. I'm very proud of you all. *Cue applause* In any case, this is the end of this little slapped together story. Not really much to say up here (for once, miracle of miracles….) except that I hope you enjoy the end of it and to keep an eye out for my next big ass project, which I am in the process of tying up. As in, I'll have it done in a few months…. *Grins* Believe me when I say "big ass"…. We're talking longer than "Little Tin Flower", I think. Hope to see you there anyway! *Waves* Anyway, have fun! Bye for now!

O^^^O

Part III

Butterfly Wings

I was shocked beyond all hope of reality and rationality. There was no way I could accept the very physical and very real scene unfolding before me inside Hilde's kitchen window. I hardly noticed the raindrops plopping down in fat tears upon me, soaking my skin and my clothes, rushing in speeding rivulets across the pavement and down the gutters with that echoing draining noise. It didn't matter. I couldn't hear it anyway. All I could see was Heero; Heero's arms around the longhaired little faggot's neck and Heero's lips kissing the creature's mouth.

It wasn't fair. How was it that he could make his face like a wall around me? Why was it that he would always take his emotions and just turn them off around me? He had always treated me differently than most people, like I was someone special. But obviously, I wasn't special enough for him! All that was just a lie. That or he had been lied to by that disgusting Maxwell animal. I strongly supported my second conclusion. There was no way that Heero's admiration of me and my ideals could be anything other than love. He loved what I stood for, so why could he not love me as well? It only seemed so natural. I could not see it any other way.

[If I should choose to live in my cocoon,

Wrap myself in me and cry myself to sleep….]

Suddenly, the flower painted green door flew open and Hilde dashed out into the darkened weather, a rain slicker flung over her shoulders, the hood pulled loosely up over her blackish-purple locks. She skipped down the front stoop two steps at a time and hurried over to her bicycle. Quickly unchaining it, she tossed the lock into the wire basket attached to the handlebars and wheeled it down an ally running between her house and the neighbour's, which I had not noticed before as it was hidden behind a tall wooden gate painted in a similar fashion to the front door. There was the sound of her tussling with the chain again, obviously re-locking her bike in a dry spot that was concealed from me behind that stupid gaudy fence. I refused to think that I had ever found the patterns pleasant only a few moments ago. Just knowing it was Duo Maxwell's artwork was enough to make me see perversity twined in those painted vines.

I could see the dim outline of the black iron wrought fire escape climbing up the side of the townhouse, dripping with moisture and rain. The sound of Hilde lowering the ladder filled the air; she was still in the ally and obscured behind the gate. Then I saw the shape of her body, the yellow mack clinging to her slim form, climbing up the ladder to the third level of the fire escape. I watched from the street as she wrung in a line, hung with now sopping wet clothing, which ran across the ally. I could make out the blurry images of a lot of red and black garments that screamed Gothic freak to me, loose fitting skater-punk style attire, dotted with the occasional flamboyant hippie shirt or a set of bellbottoms here and there. I tried my hardest to avert my eyes from the boxer shorts and kinky underwear as Hilde quickly ripped them from their clothespins. She yanked each article of clothing off the line as she wheeled it around towards her, tossing the soaking items into the window she had opened behind her, before climbing in afterwards. The sound of the window being slammed shut resonated in the empty ally way and then she was gone.

I saw her enter the kitchen again through the window about five minutes later, accidentally bumping into Duo as he backed out of the room, Heero not far behind. There was something almost feral and lust-filled about the look in not only the street rat's eyes, but Heero's as well. It disturbed me to see such a look of sheer desire for someone like Duo written so plainly upon the usually stony Heero. Why was it he was so willing to open up around Duo? What did Duo make him feel that I couldn't?

[If I should choose to protect my tender heart,

Build a shell from you; steal myself from you.]

Hilde scooted around Duo with a knowing smirk etched on her face. It was a look I did not particularly care for either. Was everyone in the world in on this game except for me? She gave Heero a shove, sending him careening into Duo's expecting arms and sending my ire to an all-time climax. No one dared to push Heero like that! But….

But then why was Heero laughing like it had been a good joke? Why were they all laughing? I certainly did not find it funny at all.

As Heero and Duo vanished into an adjourning room from my line of sight through the window, Hilde started to clear the table of empty plates and cups. She looked up to glance briefly out the window, which was when she noticed me, still standing out there like a lunatic in the mad rainy weather. A look of surprise crossed her features as she realized that I had just been standing there and staring and she hurried off in the direction Heero and Duo had disappeared.

Not more than a second later, the front door flew open again and she shouted out to me. "Oh my, Miss Relena! Don't stand out there in the soaking rain like that! What would the world say if their queen caught her death of cold in some colony rain shower?"

I let out a little nose as I hurried up the front steps and shuffled past her into her front foyer. She closed the door behind me, revealing a row of three hooks on the wall. From each peg hung a coat, one being Hilde's still drenched and dripping raincoat, the next a long black leather trench coat and finally on the last, a familiar worn jean jacket. Before me lay a short front hall that climbed up a staircase to the next floor and branched off to my left into the kitchen that had become so familiar to me in the past moments.

As I stepped a little more into the house, Hilde just behind me, I came upon another sordid picture. About a third of the way up the stairs was Heero, pinned against the wall by that filthy cretin and being kissed ferociously upon the neck by said mongrel. I could hear tiny snippets of their conversation; words, which I might add, did not ring well in my head.

"Mm, dōbutsu!" Heero cried, his fingers curling tightly around the wine bottle clenched in his hand. I recognized it as the bottle of wine I had bought with Hilde earlier. I flinched at the tone in his voice. It sounded completely sexual.

"Heh, last time I checked, Hee-chan, you were the animal, I was always the kinky one, remember?" Duo cooed back to him, pausing briefly to attack him with kisses again. And what kind of name was 'Hee-chan'? I never thought that Heero would stand for such a pet name. It sounded very degrading to my ears anyway, though I assumed this was how he managed to poison Heero's mind, with tricks like these.

Hilde coughed loudly from behind me, as if to announce my presence. The two boys' heads snapped up, staring down the stairs at us. Duo looked mildly surprised while Heero looked like he wanted something to die. I just hoped it wasn't me….

"Boys, before you get a room, look who dropped in from the rain clouds!" Hilde said somewhat dramatically, with a sweep of her hands.

"The space colonies don't have rain clouds. It's a hydraulics system that's rigged to the weather controls," Heero commented coolly. He was right of course. Heero had always been very, very smart and I admired how he was able to compute things so quickly and logically. It made him seem like an even better hero than he already was. "So she couldn't have dropped in from anything."

"Oh Heero, she was being metaphorical," Duo said with a little laugh, punching him lightly on the shoulder. That bothered me. I didn't like it when he hit Heero. I liked it even less when Heero would smile at such abuse. "Weren't ya, Sis?"

"Yeah, sure," Hilde shrugged with a grin. "I see you two are impatient for me to get lost. Well okay, you run along upstairs. Miss Relena and I will clean up the kitchen."

[If I should choose to fall apart,

Don't you think you should let me?]

Before I could protest or say anything to Heero, I was being dragged into the little kitchenette, where Hilde had left the dishes she'd been collecting earlier. I heard Duo asking Heero some question about whether he would rather go to his room or the guestroom. Heero made an undistinguished reply that I deciphered as "Which is closer?"

I ignored them and grudgingly helped her, making small chitchat here and there, my mind far gone. My eyes kept wandering to those roses sitting on the windowsill. I guess she noticed me staring, because her next comment concerned the flowers. "They're pretty, aren't they?"

"Mm hmm," I managed, thinking about how they had gotten there. I thought I remembered Hilde mentioning something about Heero and roses.

As if to answer my thoughts, Hilde went on. "Heero brought them. He said that he spent the last of his cash on the shuttle ticket up here and those flowers and then hiked it all the way over here himself. It was so romantic."

I turned around to see her with this dreamy look in her eyes, hands clasped under her chin as she stared upwards at the naked light bulb screwed into the ceiling. "Heero likes to give gifts, I suppose," I said. "He gave me a teddy bear once."

"A teddy bear?" she said, cocking her head slightly. "Cute."

"It is," I nodded, beginning to think that Duo had poisoned Hilde's mind as well. "He left it for me right after the first war. I still have it. I sleep with it every night and it lives on my pillow."

"Well every woman has a girl within," she replied, walking over to the window so she could rearrange the roses in the glass vase. "Guess it was his materialistic idea of peace. I heard from Duo that he was trying to win back the innocence the world lost. I guess he feels like he killed it somehow and that it was his duty to regain it. He's wired so differently from most people, it seems to me that it would have some kind of significant symbolism to him or something like that. It just strikes me as something he would do, you know?"

"I suppose so," I answered nonchalantly. What she has just said didn't really make sense to me. Symbolism? Heero? I couldn't think of how a gift could mean anything other than love. I therefore chose to ignore what Hilde had said and stick to my own theories. At least those made sense to me.

"Like, I'm still a romantic at heart. That's the girl in me, you know?" she went on, returning to the table and gathering the stack of plates. "But I just can't help but love it when romantic things happen! You got the teddy and Duo got the roses. Oh roses are so—could you grab those cups for me? Thanks—roses are so romantic. Heero obviously thought so too." She actually giggled as she said that.

"Has Heero ever given Duo anything else?" I asked. A bunch of cheap flowers couldn't mean much. It was obvious that my teddy bear had cost him more. At that particular moment, I had no idea how true that actually was.

"I don't know," Hilde shrugged, walking over to the sink and dropping the dirty dishes beside it. I followed her and left my armload of glasses next to the dishes as she went about cleaning the dirty tableware. "I'd imagine they give each other things here and there." She was quietly, scrubbing merrily before adding; "Duo gave Heero his cross."

"His what?" I was taken aback. I did not think that the little rogue atheist would have something like a cross. It was blasphemous enough that he ran around wearing a priest's shirt during the war with OZ.

"His golden cross," Hilde repeated, still washing. "It meant worlds to him. Something from his past, I gather. He used to wear it all the time. I don't even think he took it off to shower or for bed."

"Why not?" I wondered aloud. "It seems hypocritical to me that someone like Duo would wear a crucifix."

"Well I couldn't really explain it to you," Hilde answered, her hands pausing for a brief second. "Duo has just as many quirks as Heero does. You know, the strange little things that you can't really even begin to understand unless you were in their heads and had lived their lives. Duo may be one of my best friends, but he doesn't like to share gritty details about himself. He tends to like to pretend like he's always happy, but I'm not dumb enough to fall for that all the time. His name really is very fitting. It's almost like he's two people in one. But I must say, the times that I'm sure that Duo is truly happy, is when he's with Heero. I think those are the times that Heero is really happy too."

"I would hope he's happy now that the war is over," I huffed, not at all pleased with the idea that Duo was the one who made Heero happy. "Everyone should be."

"He was upset when he had to leave without knowing whether or not Heero would live after the Mariemaia coup," she said softly, pouring some liquid soap onto another dish and scrubbing at it fiercely. "I haven't seen Duo so happy as he is now since then."

I said nothing and waited for her to finish with the dishes. She had to dry them by hand before putting them back into their proper places in the large wooden hutch in the kitchen. Obviously the fact that she didn't have a washing machine to do all that menial labour for her didn't damper her spirits. She was chattering all the while, telling me that Duo had been the one to build most of the furniture in the house, including the hutch she was setting the plates and glasses away in, that he had painted all the walls and even done much of the finishing work in the house. "This place was falling apart when I first bought it. It was a kind of investment, I suppose, during the war. Afterwards, I had started to fix it up a little bit, but I needed help. Duo was more than happy to come up to the colony with me after the war and do a lot of this kind of work for me. He's an amazing mechanic and artist. I am totally impressed by his talents. He's even been helping me start out a salvage yard. Now that Heero is here, I'm sure he can help get me online and running. God, I'm so lucky to know such well-versed men!"

"Well that's nice," I commented, not really hearing half of what she had said. "Heero is amazing. He can do everything."

"Yeah, Duo's told me and now that I've really talked with him, I don't doubt it for a second."

How was it that Duo knew so much about Heero? Since when did he become an expert? It bothered me that everything Hilde knew about Heero she had heard from Duo. Who knew what kind of lies he had been feeding her?

[If I should choose to die alone,

You should forgive and forget me.]

She interjected my thoughts yet again with her jabbering mouth. "Well anyway, come upstairs with me. I have some laundry to do, but I can get you something dry to wear. If you want, you can use the shower and you can sleep here if you really want to, I guess."

"Why not," I mumbled. It almost seemed like neither of us wanted to be in our current situation. Well I sure as hell couldn't blame her. "It's raining too hard for me to get to that hotel anyway."

"Okay," she said, that cheerful note bouncing back into her voice as she beckoned for me to follow her up the stairs. "We have to go all the way upstairs. That's where my room is and, inevitably, all the laundry. You'll have to forgive the chaos of these two upper floors," she was saying as she started to clamber up the wooden staircase. "Duo seems to find it physically impossible to keep things in order. I keep trying to neat things up somewhat, but he always gets mad at me and says that I'm 'messing with his system.' How he can find anything in his messes, I have no idea."

The house was laid out in a sort of wrapped fashion. The steps climbed up to a second floor hallway that doubled back around and led to another staircase rose to the third floor. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I saw before me, the half open door of the bathroom, a dim light radiating out into the hall. Hilde led me around the hall, tapping the banister as she nonchalantly walked towards the next staircase. I was busy looking all around me, observing the mural of a Degas style ballerina that predominated the wall space between the two doors along the hallway.

As I passed the first door, the fact that it was wide open just begged for me to spy inside. The room was a cozy looking place with creamy white walls and antique looking wood and brass furniture, far different from the usual loud bohemian theme that seemed to run throughout the rest of the house. I noticed that bottle of wine Heero had been carrying before sitting on the dresser just adjacent to the bed, flanked by a pair of glass flutes, one half filled with the dark red liquid. The bed was made of brass, with straight bars and round balls crowning the four posts. It was when I saw the bed that I noticed that there was something seriously deranged about this head-game Heero and his strange friends were playing with me.

Duo, hair long and free of its usual braid, was perched on the crossbar that ran across the foot of the bed, Heero standing before him on the floor, wound tightly in the circle of his limbs as he kissed him aggressively. Heero's fingers were laid gingerly on each of Duo's cheeks as their tongues battled wildly. There seemed to be far too much kissing and coddling between the pair of them than I considered in the safe-zone. I froze right there, unable to tear my eyes away. But it was strange, because I wasn't staring at Heero, as I ought to have been. Rather, my eyes were fastened to the strangely enticing vision of Duo Maxwell's lithe body, his thick chestnut hair spilling over his shoulders in loose strands and flowing down his back in a cascade of chocolate brown. This was a side of the American pilot I had never encountered before.

Lost in my daze, I watched as Heero slowly pulled his mouth away from the mischievous elf's plush rosy lips, his eyes slowly opening, intoxicated with that same demonic seduction of Duo's that had tempted me. His eyelashes curled over his eyes, darkening them and making his gaze seem even more drunk and hazy. As his fingers slowly played over Duo's cheeks, Duo's eyes slowly ghosted open, his indigo stare laden with that same sleepy hue as he watched Heero from beneath thick eyelashes and half open eyelids. I let out a tiny gasp at the sight. It seemed so wrong and yet, I could not help but feel the heat boiling in the room. It wasn't until Heero noticed my presence and turned his stare towards me, that lust filled connotation frozen over with cold flame the second Duo left his gaze. I suddenly had that feeling like I had intruded upon something very private and intimate for both of them.

"What are you doing?" he growled, his voice soft and dangerous, like a tiger, ready to strike the second his prey made a false move. I tried to say something, anything, but found myself mute. I glanced quickly at Duo, to see him still clinging to Heero more protective than anything, really. He was looking at Heero questioningly, as if he were trying to understand the thoughts streaming through his mind as he glowered at me. "Get out," the menacing order came in that same soft growling tone. He reached for the door and slammed it hard in my face, making me jump back a few paces, right up against the banister behind me. The door bounced off the frame with the force Heero had flung it closed with, creaking open slightly enough for me to peer in as I slid down the hall towards where Hilde was waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. I glimpsed Heero guiding Duo back over the footboard onto his back, his two slender legs still draped over the brass bar on either side of Heero's narrow hips. Heero was slowly rolling the cottony sweatpants down Duo's gangly legs, fingers sliding over his flushed skin, eliciting a gasp from the longhaired sprite. I couldn't quite see more than that as Hilde grabbed me by the arm and dragged upstairs.

[If I decide I can't do it anymore,

Try to be so hard; I'm trying to be so fucking hard!]

When we reached the third floor, I found myself standing in a loft bedroom with each wall boldly painted a different colour. There was a large futon spread out on the floor beneath a window that gazed out over the fire escape and the ally where I had seen Hilde before. The room was neatly disorganized, the mass of wet laundry Hilde had rescued from the rain draped over a long old fashioned radiator that ran along the far wall, stacks of papers, bills, account records, letters, forms, and a ton of other miscellaneous business related things littering the floor beside the bed. A low nightstand stood on the other side of the futon, set with a white lamp and a blue analog alarm clock that had two large brass bells sitting atop its round face. The desk on the other side of the room seemed to serve only as a place to keep a stereo system and a fair sized collection of CDs. I could see that most of them were jazz and big band style music. I guessed she was the sort of person who liked to spread herself out when she worked.

"Sheesh, Miss Relena, if you're going to spend the night, I'd really appreciate it if you'd not get Heero riled up. I hear he can be quite a handful when he's angry and he was so happy earlier. I don't want to see him upset over something silly just when he's come back home," Hilde said as she dragged out a large laundry basket piled with clothes. She plucked the dry items off the radiator and dropped them into the basket and brought it over to the side of the futon, plopping down on it and inviting me to join her as she began to fold the clothes. "Well, home for now I guess. I don't think Heero and Duo will be staying with me much longer. That's too bad."

"What do you mean?" I wondered aloud, reaching for a tee shirt that lay on top of the clothes pile. I held it up and examined it. It was black with a large red rose printed on it. Beneath the rose, the word "Noir" was emblazoned in a loopy cursive print.

"Well Duo's just gotten settled. I mean, he's even almost finished painting his room," Hilde started to explain. "When Heero came, I think he was just working on the finishing touches—"

I cut her off impatiently, folding the shirt with choppy hand motions. "That's not what I mean! I mean, why would Heero and Duo need to move out? Heero is just… visiting… right? And this is Duo's home… right?"

"Sort of, kind of, not really," Hilde answered. I wondered just what the hell she was supposed to mean by that. "I mean, he's visiting, sure, but I know that wherever he goes, whether he stays here or decides to pack up and go, Duo will follow him. I guess you could just call this a chapter of Duo's life. His staying with me was more like a temporary residence until Heero got well again."

"I still don't—"

"Oh God, Miss Relena!" It was her turn to cut me off. "Don't tell me that you didn't know! I thought that everyone had found out by now!"

"Found out what?" I asked apprehensively. I almost half knew the answer already, though I was far from ready to hear it. It would just end my world.

"That Heero and Duo are lovers," she stated plainly, like it was the most ordinary business in the world.

For a moment, I heard Dorothy asking me to name one thing about Heero that was normal in the first place. I shook it away. I didn't want to think that she was astute enough to see what I had not. How could she have known about this anyway? "L-Lovers?" was all I could manage to stammer.

"Yeah, lovers, boyfriends, whatever you want to call it," Hilde replied nonchalantly, not even turning to meet my gaze. She pulled out a large tee shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms and tossed them to me. "That's for you to wear. You can go and use the bathroom to change and shower up if you want to. I can finish up here. I'd imagine that Heero and Duo are going to sleep in the guest room, so you can go ahead and use Duo's for tonight."

"Lovers?" I repeated as I stumbled towards the stairs in a daze. Before descending, I asked, "For how long? How long has this… this perversity been going on?"

"As long as I've known Duo. Since the beginning of the war, I think? I'm not totally sure," she told me, still folding her laundry like there was nothing wrong at all. I didn't understand how she could act like that, knowing such a wrong relationship was brewing right under her roof! Didn't she want Duo for herself anyway? I asked her if she did. "No," was the answer, "I kind of knew from the first time I met Duo that he wasn't for me. He's more like a big brother. Hell, even if I did like him, romantically I mean, I could tell that his heart was elsewhere. Somewhere in the stars, I guess." She let out a dreamy sigh and said no more, as if she were silently bidding me to go take my shower.

[If I should choose to keep lying to myself.

Pretend my mind is telling truths.

Well I've got my own so who are you?]

Was that why Heero never showed any interest in me, no matter how hard I tried? Was it that he was too busy drooling over some… some little… boy from the slums? I didn't want to hear it. I didn't even want to think about it. I tried to block it away, tried to wrap myself in a shell so that I didn't have to accept this. I would never admit that Heero didn't love me.

But then, as I was walking down the hall, past that half open door to the guestroom on my way to the bathroom, short gasps filling the air around me as I moved, I caught a brief peek into the room. I lingered for a moment, taking in the sight of a bare chested Heero lying across the foot of the bed, sipping on a glass of wine as he watched Duo, who was lying on his back, legs spread over the mattress as he pleasured himself, his head thrown back in ecstasy upon the bed's plump feather stuffed pillows. I had never seen a man naked and hard before and the display of Duo flung back upon the bed like that was strangely alluring.

[I know, I know, I know.]

I quickly made my way to the bathroom, forcing myself to tear my eyes from Duo. As I entered the bathroom, closing the door behind me, I couldn't help but let a shiver run through my body as I recalled the way Heero had been lying there, wrapped in a sheet as his eyes roamed over Duo's body. I could see the heat dancing in his eyes and feel it as it burned his flesh and charred the ambiance of the space around them. I had never seen him look at anyone quite like that before. Yes, this certainly was a Heero I had never met before.

I fiddled with the shower, trying to find the right temperature and waited for a few moments so the water could heat up. I started to peel my somewhat dried suit off my body, dropping the clothes in a pile on the floor. As I finally pushed the curtain back a bit and stepped into the porcelain tub, the water spraying all over me, I felt like I was drowning for real. The walls had been painted like the bottom of the sea, with a myriad of blues and greens blending all across the walls. There were even a few bubbles, fish and other sea creatures painted here and there to add more realism to the scene. The ceiling had been done to look like the sun was shining down upon the waves above.

Looking up at the small rack at the back of the shower where a line of bottles sat, I tried to decide which shampoo belonged to Hilde so I could use it. It didn't take long for me to deduce whose shampoo was whose. I figured that the bottles that had "Poison" and "Hazardous Waste" scrawled across them in black marker, complete with skull and crossbones belonged to Duo. Staring at the two bottles, I suddenly felt that it would be odd and somehow wrong to use something that belonged to Duo for something so personal as washing one's self. Stranger still was that I felt like I had no right to wash my hair with the same product Duo used for his beautiful mane of hair.

And yes, I admit that Duo's hair was beautiful. I admit that Duo Maxwell is beautiful. Just as beautiful as Heero, like he permeated that same sort of awe and mystery, and yet, nothing like him at all.

I hurried through my shower and quickly dried off, and dressed myself in the pajamas Hilde had lent me. I walked as quickly as I could past the guestroom and that graceful ballerina on my way to Duo's room, not daring to peek in for fear that I would not be able to tear myself away from whatever erotic vision I might behold inside. I just wanted to cloud it away and pretend like it didn't exist.

[If I should choose to fall apart,

Don't you think you should let me?]

Closing the door behind me as I entered Duo's room at the end of the hall, I let out a quiet sigh, relieve that I would soon be able to get this day over with. Walking over to the wrought iron bed, I plopped down on the edge and took in my lodgings for the night. I heard from somewhere that you could tell a lot about a person by their bedroom. I wondered what I could learn about Duo Maxwell from his bedroom.

Bathed in a warm glow cast by the light of dozens of Chinese styled lanterns painted the room in a friendly golden hue, like they were filled with millions of fireflies.

The bedspread I was sitting upon was dark purple, the vast collection pillows piled at the top of the bed ranging from black to violet to deep indigo. Beside the bed was a table with a glass top and slender metal legs to match the bed's black iron frame. A lamp sat on the table, its body a large flat round disk covered with hundreds of tiny magnets, each printed with different words. Some of them had been arranged to form short phrases and sentences. "I play it cool, and dig all jive," one phrase that caught my eye read. It was a short poem that seemed vaguely familiar "That's the reason I stay alive. My motto as I live and learn is: dig and be dug in return."

A desk sat shoved into a corner of the room. It was covered with sketchbooks and pens and pencils. As Hilde had mentioned, the desk looked like an absolute disaster, as could be said for the rest of the room, but there was a certain air of tradition to it, like that was the way Duo had been doing things for as long as he could remember. By the worn appearance of the chair, it seemed that Duo spent a lot of time bent over that desk.

The room's one window was hung with heavy satin draperies of a dark purple colour to match the bedspread. The walls were completely wallpapered with posters portraying everything from rock bands to movies to the artwork of various artists. The only wall that was not covered in such a way was across from me. It was a wall that consisted completely of built in bookcases, the white wood sponge painted with black paint, crammed tightly with books, comics, CDs, magazines and all of Duo's other possessions. I had to admit, I was surprised by the amount of actual literature that was on those shelves, and it seemed that there were even more reading material still waiting to be unpacked from the open cardboard boxes scattered here and there across the floor. More than half the books were titles I had never even seen before and a good portion of the collection seemed to have been bought second-hand.

A shelf was dedicated to a very nice looking stereo system, even more high tech than the one Hilde kept up in her room. A ladder standing in the middle of the floor brought my attention to the ceiling above. It looked like Duo was in the process of installing surround sound speakers around his room. But as I flopped back on the bed, my eyes wandering across the ceiling above, I noticed that a sound system was not on the top of Duo's agenda. Instead, it seemed that he was more focused on finishing the angel he had spun out over the plaster canvas. Hilde had mentioned that he was working on a painting earlier. I supposed this was it. I forgot for a moment that Duo was the artist and just lost myself in the angel's beauty. The image was absolutely breathtaking, and to my untrained eye, I could not see anything that needed touching up. There was something about the face that seemed so serene and familiar, like Duo had seen that face every day of his life and knew it by heart. After staring up at it for what seemed ages, I realized why I knew that face so well. Though the expression was alien to me, there was no mistaking that Duo had painted an angelic Heero upon his ceiling. I was suddenly angry at the painting and threw myself over on my stomach and buried my face deep into the pillows so I wouldn't have to look at it.

[If I should choose to die alone,

You should forgive and forget me.]

I realized after a few minutes of silence, that I could still hear Heero and Duo in the next room over. I didn't even want to think about what produced the cries that mingled with the sound of old bedsprings and rustling sheets. I could make dimly make out the sound of Duo chanting Heero's name over and over, as if he were begging for him.

"God, Heero!" Duo suddenly screamed, vociferous and lucid. The moaning and pleading slowly fell hush after that, and soon all I could hear was my own breathing and their heavy panting through the old house's thin walls. I'm not as naïve as Heero liked to credit me. I knew what was going on over there.

"Duo?" My ears pricked up at the sound of Heero's voice, so soft and gentle. I had only heard him speak like that once, when he swore he would never kill again. Since I had arrived, I don't think I had heard Heero so serene and loving as he was now. I didn't have to see him to know that he was probably smiling quietly, his eyes sparkling in the muted light. It saddened me somewhat to think that I would never hear him speak that way to me. "Ai shiteru, Duo," he whispered.

I was numbed with disbelief. Heero, the perfect soldier, had cast away all his shields, all his defenses, just to speak those words to Duo. How was it that a little whelp like him could win Heero's love? I could give Heero the world and yet, he would cast all that away for one little street urchin. My eyes flicked back over to Duo's immense library full of worn and loved books, perhaps a little ragged and frayed, but still full of wisdom and beauty. Was Duo like an old book, whose ratty cover hid more wit and grace than what met the eye?

"Me too," Duo murmured back. I could tell by the way his voice was hoarse and ragged that he was tired. "Heero?"

"Aa?"

"Why did you come here?" I could almost hear the fret in Duo's mind twanging his speech. I thought that it was a good question. I wanted to know why Heero had come out here too.

There was a moment where no words were exchanged and the sound of bedsprings and sheets filled my ears again. I imagined they were kissing again.

"I wanted to be with you, koibito," Heero answered at long last. He let out a drawn out sigh. More sheets and bedsprings. "I know I have a habit of screwing things up. I'm no good at being a human, but I'm trying, koi. Ever wonder if it's all for you?"

"Heero…." I'm pretty sure that he embraced Duo here, by the way the bed springs creaked as he moved. And though I was so jealous that Duo was being given this loving attention, the way I had always wished that Heero would treat me, I couldn't help but find it all very endearing, in a bittersweet way.

"Hush, my little Shinigami," Heero silenced his partner. "I'm determined to do this right. I've never been able to do anything the right way before. And I'm sorry this isn't nearly the way I had wished it would happen, but I only had enough money to buy you flowers. And this is far from perfect… but Duo…?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you…." He was hesitating. I wondered what could fluster him so? "Um, would you…. Would you marry me, Duo?"

Well he certainly shocked two of us to silence. Then it came, unfurling like a rose in bloom. "Oh God, yes Heero!"

"It's okay I couldn't afford you a ring?" I heard him ask, as if he were unsure that Duo's answer was sincere. Hell, even I could tell that there was not a trace of artificiality in his tone. I touched my cheek and felt a tear splotching my flesh. But it was strange, I didn't feel remorse or anger or jealousy. I felt very… happy…. I was happy and I couldn't even begin to explain why.

"You don't need to give me a ring, Hee-chan! I have you, and that's all I need," I heard him exclaim. Knowing Duo, I would imagine that he was attacking Heero with a barrage of hugs and cuddles. And for the first time, the word I put with the scene was not 'disgusting' or 'gross' but 'cute.'

…And 'beautiful.' Most of all beautiful…. I realized for the first time what it was that Heero had been talking about before he'd left the day before. My love for him had been conditional, like a conquest that once won, I would toss away. I had wanted to change him to suit me instead of just accepting him as he was. But Duo did not want to win Heero over or mold him in any way. He loved Heero just the way he was and wouldn't change a bit of it for the world.

"You wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with me?" Heero asked. I was actually straining my ears to hear all of his words.

"No," Duo breathed in response. "No I wouldn't mind spending my life with you. I couldn't live with it any other way."

And you know what was so strange? As I curled under Duo's quilt, hugging one of his many pillows close to my chest, the slightly lavender scented cushions somehow more comforting than the warm fur of the teddy that was lying on my bed back at home, I realized that I would not have it any other way either. I fell asleep with a mysterious wave of peace washing over me for the first time in a long while, like a great burden had been lifted from my chest. I now knew that I could never have Heero for my own. He had given his heart away a long time ago to a poor little boy who was just as lost and alone as he was. A little boy who had nothing to give him in return but his own undying love and dedication.

I think I fell in love with another person that night. Not in a romantic longing sense, as I had lusted after Heero, but truly genuine admiration had certainly sprouted for Duo Maxwell. And that night, as I sailed through my dreams, I felt like I was flying away towards the stars on silken butterfly wings and faerie dust.

[If I should choose to fall apart,

Don't you think that you should let me?

If I should choose to die alone,

You should forgive and forget me.

You should forgive and forget me.

You should forgive and forget… me….]

O^^^O

oO^ Owari ^Oo

A/N ~ Sorry if the end seemed a little rushed, but I kind of wanted to wrap this up. Err, I hope you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for my next story, okay? I promise it'll be worth you're while. Hell, even I kind of like it! Oh, and by the way, that poem that's on Duo's lamp is by Langston Hughes. I came across it and decided it did better than what I had originally in that spot. He's got some fun poetry if you wan to check him out. Okay, now I'm done.