The One After the Lesbian Wedding
Ok, so this fic begins during TOW the Lesbian Wedding (season 2), minus the closing scene. Skip that closing scene. It never happens in this fic. It's, of course, an alternate Monica and Chandler hook-up. I got the idea to use TOW the Lesbian Wedding because I recently read somewhere that the idea to get Monica and Chandler together was first suggested for that episode. If I decide to continue this, I plan on kinda using the actual plots from the show, and tweaking them to accommodate Monica and Chandler getting together before London. In other words, show what it could've possibly been like if Mon and Chandler were together earlier than London. All right, read and review, and tell me if I should continue. Constructive criticism welcome, but please, no slanders. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or anything to do with them, pretty much.
"Don't worry about it, Mon," Chandler assured her as she paced the almost empty wedding hall, "Everything was absolutely delicious."
"Yeah right."
"Of course it was! I ate so much today that…I can barely fit in my pants."
She snorted and stopped pacing. "Come on. I rushed it too much. I thought I could do a good job. I had everything planned out to the last detail! But then there wasn't enough time and…"
"And nothing! It was great, fantastic. I even heard some women talking about how they loved your food."
"Yeah?" Monica
asked, beginning to believe him, "What did they say?"
"That they loved your food."
"Right," she chucked as she took a seat at an empty table. Chandler sat down next to her.
Chandler patted her arm, reassuringly, "It'll be okay. Ya know, everything'll work out."
"No, I don't know!" she argued, "How do you know things will work out?! What if I just end up a old, unemployed, unmarried woman?"
Chandler moved away from her slightly, nervous by her words. "I don't…know if, uh, things'll work out. I just said that to make you feel better. Please don't hurt me!"
Monica sighed, leaned her head back, and stared at the ceiling.
"But I bet things will work out for you," he consoled, "I mean you're a very talented chef and a diligent worker. Everyone has hard times, that's part of life." Monica began to pay more attention to his sincere words, "And as for your love life…you're beautiful and caring and just a wonderful person. You will get a great guy some day, fall in love, and that guy will be luckier than any other man."
Monica smiled broadly. "Well maybe you're not right about that, but it's nice to hear someone say those things."
Chandler nodded and wrapped an arm around Monica.
"Ok, so enough about me…how's it going with you?"
"Ehh…I just got shot down by about twenty lesbian women in the past hour. I lost count of the total though."
"Want my advice?"
"Sure."
"Don't hit on lesbians."
"Thanks," he replied sarcastically.
"Well, it just seems like common knowledge, ya know? Most men only go for women who they have a change with."
"Yeah, well if that we're the case, than I wouldn't go for any women."
Monica smiled sympathetically at him. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Speak for yourself, Ms. Geller. I do believe that you were acting the same way only a minute ago."
She searched her mind for a comeback, but finding none changed the subject.
"Where'd everyone go?"
"Oh they went," Chandler said, looking behind him at the empty room, "Not behind me, if that's what you were thinking."
"Thanks. Did they leave?"
"I guess so. Wow, that's nice of them."
Monica rolled her eyes and got out of the chair. "Maybe they're in the lobby."
"Yeah, okay."
The two of them made their way towards the lobby, but it, too, was empty.
"So much for them being in the lobby," Chandler observed.
"Oh well. Let's just get a cab and head back."
"Good idea."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Monica arrived home to find the place empty. However, she found a note from Rachel informing her that she was out with her mother. Monica headed towards her room and changed into a t-shit and sweatpants. After that, she turned on the television, but found nothing to watch. Bored, she decided to go across the hall and see what Joey and Chandler were up to.
"Hey Chandler," she greeted as she walked into their apartment.
"Hey," Chandler answered from his seat in front of the television.
"Where's Joey?"
"Oh yeah," he said bitterly, "Turns out Joey got a couple of the women to turn back towards the world of the heterosexual. At least for a night of some 'Joey lovin'."
Monica shook her head and chuckled slightly. "Leave to Joey."
"Where's Rachel?"
"Out with her mom."
"So, since Ross has Ben, I guess it's just the two of us, huh?"
"Guess so," Monica replied taking a seat next to him on the sofa, "You guys need a new sofa."
"Ehh, we don't care. We're guys. We spend most of our time at your place, anyway."
"True."
"Here," he said handing her the remote, "There's nothing good on to watch, so you can pick whatever you want."
"Wow," she said sarcastically, "How nice of you."
"Yeah, I know. Don't say I've never done anything nice for you."
After flipping through the channels, Monica settled on a black and white film.
"What movie is this?"
"I have absolutely no idea. But it's old."
"So?"
"So…it's different."
"And that's good?"
"Of course."
After watching the movie for about a half and hour, Chandler was beginning to drift off. He had his head leaning slightly on Monica's shoulder, with his right arm draped causally around her. Monica then shut off the television.
"I just remembered something."
"What?"
"I came over here because I was bored at my place, since there was nothing on television."
"So old doesn't necessarily mean better, ey?"
"Guess not."
They sat in silence for a few moments before Monica broke it. "So entertain me!"
"Umm…okay…three guys go into a bar…"
"Uch, no lame jokes."
"Fine. Then I give up."
"Foosball?"
"Yeah right. We know how that'll go, Ms. Competitive."
"Hey, I'm not that bad!"
"Right, and the fact that one of the little men is missing his head has absolutely nothing to do with you."
Monica looked away sheepishly, "That's right."
Chandler rolled his eyes at Monica.
"I have an idea," he stated and then headed towards the refrigerator.
"What?"
"Get drunk?"
Monica thought for a moment. "Sounds like a plan."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
An hour later, Chandler was lying on the sofa, feet over the back of it and his head resting on the floor. Monica was lying with her head on Chandler's chest and her legs dangling off the end of the sofa.
Drunkenly, Monica commented, "Ya know, this isn't all that much more fun."
"Yeah," Chandler answered, just as drunk, "I agree. We need to do something! Get out there, mix it up a bit."
"Yeah, so what should we do?"
"Drink?"
"Noooooo. We already did that!"
"Right, I for…forgot 'bout that," he stuttered as he turned his body around so that he way lying across the sofa underneath Monica.
"You know what would be really fun?" she asked.
"What?"
"Making out."
"Sounds good to me."
"Okay!"
Monica turned around and Chandler locked their lips together. They began to make out hungrily.
When they broke the kiss, Chandler told her, "You're really sexy."
"I know, but thanks."
He ran his hands through her hair and she rubbed her hands up and down his chest.
"You know what would be even funner than making out?"
"Funner's not a word ya know?"
"Whatever. You know what would be more fun?"
"What?"
"Having sex."
"I agree!"
They began kissing passionately and Chandler worked on unhooking her bra.
"It's been way too long," Monica stated as he began to kiss her neck.
"Mmmhmmm…" he answered, too busy concentrating on her neck to answer anything more.
Suddenly, Joey barged into the apartment. Monica and Chandler jumped apart from each other and Monica grabbed her bra from the floor and hid it behind her back.
"Hey guys," Joey greeted dejectedly.
"What's wrong, Joe?" Monica asked as he grabbed a beer.
"The women rejected me," Joey stated somberly as he sat down next to Chandler.
"Poor guy," Chandler quipped, "Can't get the lesbians to become straight again, huh?"
"Have you been drinking?" Joey asked, holding his breath.
"Does my breath smell that bad?" he wondered as he held his hand up to his mouth and breathed into it, trying to smell.
"Yes, it does. Dude, brush your teeth." Joey paused and looked from Chandler to Monica. "What have you guys been doing, anyway?"
"Nothing!" Monica replied hastily.
"Nothing at all," Chandler agreed nervously as he got up, "Well, I'm gonna go brush my teeth and then go to sleep. Buh bye!"
"Yeah me too, bye!" Monica said as she dashed out of the apartment.
Joey just shrugged, took a gulp of beer, and turned on the television.
"Ooo, cool!" he enthused, "An old movie! I love old movies!"
So, good/bad? Continue/don't continue? I don't wanna continue if no one wants it b/c if it sucks, then I'll just look like an idiot…lol. Sorry if things seem to be moving too fast, but that usually happens when people are drunk…I mean b/c they don't think things through. Ok, I'll shut up. Merry Christmas everyone! (Or if you're like me, and don't celebrate Christmas, Happy Wednesday!)
