TOA The Lesbian Wedding

Ok, this part's gonna be longer than last chapter. I was too tired to keep going yesterday. Okay, I'll shut up. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me…you know how it goes by now.

"Mon, Chandler, sit down," Rachel told them, "We have to tell you something…"

"What?" Monica asked bitterly, "What could you possibly have to tell us that'll make this situation less awkward?"

Chandler looked up, insulted. "Well, I'm sorry, but if you're so desperate to get a date, then don't expect me to just be there. Find some other idiot."

"What are you talking about?!"

"Hmm…" Joey commented to Rachel, "Maybe we won't have to tell them after all. They'll figure it out eventually."

"Or they'll end up hating each other!"

"Oh, so bad idea?"

Rachel gave him a quizzical look and then turned her attention back towards Monica and Chandler.

"What? What are you talking about? Don't call me desperate! I am not desperate! I can date whomever I want to date. Obviously, I should've never picked you!"

"Hold on, hold on, hold on!" Phoebe yelled, "This is all a big misunderstanding! Just listen to me for five seconds!" Under her breath, she added, "Some people never listen…it's always about them…"

"Phoebe!" Rachel scolded.

"Right, okay, big misunderstanding."

"Okay," Chandler asked, "How is this a 'big misunderstanding'?"

"Well, you see," Rachel chuckled, "You're…you're gonna love this."

"Yeah, it's quite funny," Joey added, "Or will be, once you finish killing us."

"Just tell us already!" Monica demanded.

"Okay, okay, sheesh," Rachel began, "See…hmm…we wanted to umm…make sure that…" she gestured to both Monica and Chandler, "You two were, ya know, really serious about dating each other, so…Phoebe, why don't you continue?"

"Thank you Rachel!" she said sarcastically, but continued, "So, we decided to test you by telling both of you that neither of you wanted each other."

"What?!" Monica and Chandler asked together, angrily.

"Please don't kill us!" Joey said, covering his head with a pillow. "Actually, kill them two!" he pointed to Rachel and Phoebe, "It was there idea! I just went along with because they offered me a sandwich…which by the way, I never got!"

"Hey!" Rachel defended, "Phoebe came up with the idea!"

Phoebe stuttered nervously, "Well…wow, would ya…would ya look at the time? I have to go and umm…buy some…dog food! See ya!" With that, she ran out the door.

"But Phoebe doesn't have a dog…" Joey stated.

Monica ignored his comment. "Woah, what are you saying here?"

"We, umm…made up all that stuff about Chandler being a bad boyfriend and not wanting to ever have a family. I mean it could be true…"

Chandler interrupted angrily, "What? Why'd you say that?"

"And, yeah, I don't think Monica's only dating you because she's desperate."

"Hey!" Monica asked, insulted, "You called me desperate?"

"No…" Joey's lied nervously.

"Let me talk to Monica privately," Chandler requested.

"Right," Rachel said, without moving.

"Uh-huh," Joey added, also not leaving his spot.

"Oh my God! Can we not get any privacy?!"

Monica suggested, "Let's go in the hall."

"Okay," Chandler agreed, following Monica outside.

            When they got in the hall, Monica began, "Chandler, I'm really sorry…I believed them and…"

He cut her off by kissing her. He then pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you," he confessed.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you either."

"Well, I don't umm…wanna start, ya know, thinking about a family or anything, since we haven't even gone out on a date yet, but I want you to know that I'll do it, ya know, when the time's right."

"I know, and I'm not dating you because I'm desperate. I'm dating you for your money."

"What?!" Chandler asked shocked.

Monica laughed, "I'm just kidding."

"Okay," Chandler replied, relieved.

 "We learned an important lesson today though," Monica mused.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Never listen to your friends."

"Really? I thought it was never listen to Joey…"

"Shut up," she told him, and then kissed him.

When they broke the kiss, Monica began laughing.

"Am I that bad of a kisser?"

"No…no not at all! I was just thinking of a way to get revenge on our meddling friends."

"Uh oh."

"Come on. Now that you're with me, you have to go along with my plans!"

Chandler rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Yeah okay. What's the plan?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "Monica!" Rachel called through the door, "Come on, open up."

Monica opened her bedroom door, wiped her eyes, and came out.

"What happened?"

"We're not together."

"What?! But it was all just a lie."

"Oh come on, don't try to defend him! He admitted it to me! He wasn't looking for a serious relationship!

"No, that's not true. He's crazy about you. You must've just misunderstood h…"

"NO!" Monica interrupted angrily, "I didn't misunderstand! He said to me, "They were right, Monica. I'm not looking for a serious relationship.""

"He said that?"

"Yes! That lying pig! Uch…I never want to see Chandler ever again!"

"But Mon…"

"But nothing, Rach. I'm going to bed." With that, she went back into her room and slammed the door shut.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God…" Rachel repeated frantically over and over again. She decided to head over to Joey and Chandler's.

            When she arrived, she saw Chandler watching television.

"Chandler Bing!" she yelled, "How could you?"

"How could I what?"

"Tell Monica that you're not looking for a serious relationship."

"Oh that," he replied casually, "Well, I'm not…"

"What? But you are…you're crazy about her!"

"Nah, not really. She's hot though."

"What? Chandler, that's not like you! It's like Joey, but not like you!"

"Ehh…I'm just not in a place in my life where I want a serious relationship."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I don't really care. Besides, I think Monica and myself are too different."

"What? But you guys are cra…"

"No, we're not."

"But yesterday you told Joey that you really liked her."

"Well, duh. I wasn't going to tell you guys that I was only looking for a good time with Monica. You'd all hate me."

"Well, if it helps, I hate you now!"

"But why? I mean didn't you tell Monica that I wasn't in it for the long run?"

"Well yeah, but we weren't serious."

"Stop trying to spare Monica's feelings. Of course you were serious."

"But we weren't, I swear!"

"Well, whatever. The past is the past. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to watching…" he looked the television and scrunched his face in disgust, "That elephant giving birth."

Rachel eyed his suspiciously and then left the apartment.

"Damn animal planet!" he scorned as he flipped through the channels.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            That night, Monica headed towards the restaurant she and Chandler were meeting at. When she got there, she spotted Chandler outside and smiled.

"Sorry I couldn't pick you," he apologized when they went inside, "But ya know, it would be way too hard to hide both of leaving at the same time."

"It's okay, I understand."

The two were seated at a table in the corner of the restaurant. It was a small, homely Italian restaurant.

"I'm also sorry," Chandler continued, "That we couldn't go anywhere nicer."

"No, it's okay, really! If I had came out of the building dressed up, Rachel would've never bought the excuse that I was having dinner with my mother."

"Yeah, you're right."

The waiter came over and took their order and then left them again.

"So how long do I have to pretend I'm a terrible guy and I don't want to date you?"

"A couple days. I want to make them feel really bad for me."

"And hate me in the process?"

"Well, they can't feel bad for both of us at the same time!"

"Yeah, I know," Chandler relented, "But I think Rachel really, really hates me. Plus, she thinks that I like to watch animals give birth!"

"Eww…okay, I'm not even gonna ask why."

Chandler chuckled, "Good idea."

Monica laughed along with him.

He then looked at Monica and held her hand. "You're so beautiful."

She smiled and blushed, "Thank you. You're kinda cute yourself, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know," he joked.

She hit him lightly on his arm. "Wow," she stated suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"This is our first date."

"You just noticed?"

"No, I mean we've been best friends for a long time now and we finally crossed that line."

"Yeah, I've been waiting for this moment forever."

Monica smiled broadly. "Me too."

"Plus," Chandler added, "We beat Ross and Rachel to it."

Monica smiled triumphantly. "Yeah, we did!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "He really said that he wasn't into Monica?" Joey asked surprised, as he, Rachel, and Phoebe sat in Central Perk the next morning.

"Yeah, he told me that he just thought 'she was hot'."

"Wow, I really thought Chandler was better than that," Phoebe mused, "I mean I always thought he was annoying, but sweet. Now he's just annoying."

"It just doesn't sound like him, ya know?" Rachel commented, "It's weird. He would've acted like this before, wouldn't he have?"

"Yeah…" Phoebe agreed.

"Maybe it's not that he doesn't want a relationship with Monica," Joey began, "Maybe he's just scared of being in one with her."

"Yeah," Rachel agreed enthusiastically, "He's probably afraid he'll mess up and break Monica's heart!"

"That does sound more like him," Phoebe concurred, "Plus, that plays on his annoying side. Ya know, it's annoying for us because now we're going to have to get them together."

 "We could get them really drunk and then they could sleep together."

"Joey, how would that solve anything?"

"Why not? Sex solves all my relationship problems."

"What relationship problems?"

"The sexual kinds."

"Anyway…" Rachel changed the subject, "What should we do?"

"We should get them together, somehow. Like for dinner or something."

"I know! We should make them a romantic dinner and then sit them down and have them talk things out."

"Yeah! Okay, that'll work!" Phoebe agreed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            The next night, when Monica got home from work, she entered her apartment to find it empty. She found a note and picked it up. It was from Phoebe and Rachel informing her to meet them at Joey's apartment. She noticed in parenthesis, Phoebe stated that, "Chandler isn't home." She smiled, knowing that her plan was working. She put her coat down and headed over to Joey and Chandler's.

She tried to open the door, but it was locked.

"You guys?" she questioned through the door, "Why is the door locked?"

Chandler then came up the stairs and spotted Monica. After looking around and seeing the coast was clear, he went up behind her and kissed her neck.

Monica turned around and smiled. "Mmm…hey. I got a note from Phoebe and Rachel telling me to meet them at your place and that you wouldn't be here."

Chandler scrunched his forehead. "I always get home at this time. Why would they think I wasn't here?" he questioned confused.

Suddenly, the door opened and both Monica and Chandler gasped.

Phoebe appeared from behind the door. "This is for you guys."

"Yeah, you two are so perfect for each other and we should've never meddled!" Rachel agreed, entering the room from Joey's.

Joey followed her out and warned them, "So you two work things out, now! Or I'll kick your ass, Chandler!"

Chandler and Monica began laughing hysterically.

"What is so funny!?" Rachel demanded.

Monica looked to Chandler and he nodded, so she began, "We were having a little fun of our own."

"What?" the three questioned.

"Well, since you guys played your little nasty trick on us, we decided to get you back by pretending we hated each other."

Chandler continued to laugh, "Did you really believe I wouldn't go out with Monica?"

"No," Phoebe lied, "I knew it all the time."

Monica titled her head to show Phoebe she didn't believe her.

"So you two are together?"

"Yeah. We went on our first date last night."

"And you did this to make us feel guilty?" Phoebe questioned.

"Yes."

"Well!" Rachel said insulted and turned to Phoebe and Joey, "I'm hurt, aren't you guys?"

"Yeah! Let's go!" Phoebe said and she and Rachel exited the apartment.

"Joe…" Chandler tried.

"No! I don't want to hear it!" Joey told them, putting his hands over his ears. He then entered his room and slammed the door.

Chandler raised his eyebrows in surprise and commented, "Oh well, at least we got a free dinner out of it."

"Yeah!" Monica agreed as they sat at the covered foosball table to eat.

Joey exited his room hastily, grabbed the two plates of food that sat in front of Monica and Chandler, and quickly headed back towards his room.

"Or we can out," Monica suggested.

He he he, see I'm seriously not that that mean. I promise Ross will be appearing soon! He just hasn't quite fit in yet. Ok, please leave me a review. Thanks for reading!:-)