WARNING: This does contain slash. Nothing hard, but it is implied. The story has morbid themes and drug use and abuse. It is rated R for I reason, I duly warn thee.
Dr. A.m.
"Draco's got a gun…" Draco sang happily, a hand gun in hand. Harry looked up at him with large green eyes. Scared. This was exactly what Draco wanted. Draco sauntered to Harry's side, putting the gun to his head. The first day wasn't too bad, Draco had his moments. Harry couldn't figure out his mood swings, but it was almost enjoyable, like being on a roller coaster! You're scared shitless, but at the same time you desperately want to know what happens next.
I'm getting just as twisted as him, I thought lazily, will he really kill me? This feeling… Your life in someone else's hand. I think he secretly knows I like this. That I've turned into some morbid pleasure seeker, but who cares! He can give it to me, I await his every movement.
"Well, well, well, quite a predicament, aye Potter? You were raised by a muggle family, so no doubt you know that one bullet could kill you. Bang! No more Potter!" Draco licked the brim of Harry's ear, nipping at the soft flesh of the lob. Harry squirmed. This delighted Draco, who grinned viciously.
"Don't like that Harry? Hmmm?" But before anything could go further, Draco left, much to Harry's surprise.
Yes, what a predicament I'm in indeed! Tied to a chair, my mouth duct taped shut, and Pansy's corpse on Snape's bed. Speaking of Snape, he is over in the corner shoving a needle in his arm? For some odd reason I feel safer with Draco and a gun to my head than with him. However, beggars can't be choosers, and neither can hostages. I love it here.
Now, I do realize, like Snape, that I have become Draco's possession, his toy, a puppet. I've become a regular masochist.
I watched him as he stared out the window, muttering about some room he wanted to be in. His room. I couldn't understand how this had happened. Why am I here? The person died, a person I had long sense stopped trying to understand, a person who was evil and good and completely clueless. The man by the window reminds me of what was. He reminds me of death also. I have a strange desire to go over there and wrap my hands around his neck. Watch him struggle. But maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he would just keep on prattling on and on about his room as I killed him. The skies seem grayer now and there is a low rumble of thunder. The rain continues steadily.
Lupin looked through his chest. Desperate for any kind of hit. Two days, two days! Clean for two days and he was already hallucinating. It didn't help the school was in panic, The Boy Who Lived has disappeared. He pulled out a small white package. His face lights up in a twisted smile of ecstasy.
"It's that new shit I bought of the street! I've been meaning to try it out!" This is his idea of fun. He takes his spoon and whips out his lighter and needle. After he slaps his arm, vein ready, he gracefully shoves the needle into his arm, pushing the drugs farther into his body. They quickly take affect.
I can hardly contain my laughter. They've looked every where except my room! Draco is playing it cool, I haven't seen him even sweat. Albus has interrogated his several times these past two days, but it's Pansy all over. Draco won't talk. Albus is going mad with worry, his Harry is gone, and presumably dead, or fighting heroically for life, but no! He is in my quarters, tied to my chair. Draco took the duct tape off his mouth, so now he has long, pointless conversations with Lucius, who is still a cow.
Pansy is gone now. Draco got rid of her. I offered, but Draco forbids me to leave the school, I do as I'm told.
"Severus, a word?" Ah, the sweet voice of my capture, Draco, as I am as much a prisoner to him as Harry. I'll just pretend I don't know, pretend I think I am still my own person. I like pretending.
"You didn't come to class Mr. Malfoy." I use my teacher voice. It earns my a not-too-amused raised eye brow, but Draco has a sense of humor, and honors me with a slight smirk. God knows I need a hit, Now.
"I needed blood two night ago." His tone implies that there is another corpse in my room. Thats okay, I believe Harry was tiring of Lucius.
I liked to look in the mirror. Perhaps this is the root to all my problems, too self centered. Or I spent too much time looking at myself that I lost myself, or, the more logical one, I looked at myself so much I realized how horrible and worthless I really was and am. I don't look in the mirror any more. For many reasons. I don't like what I see, for I see nothing. I might have never seen anything, I might have been fooling myself. In isn't impossible, I've managed to fool myself plenty of times. Maybe I don't really exist?
Snape was too anxious to really worry that their was another missing person that could be traced back to him. He was too nervous to ask who it was that Draco had feed on, scared it might be a Weasely, or another more noticeable family. Not that getting rid of a Weasley or two would hurt anyone. No, it would be a service to the wizarding society. Draco tapped his toe against the dungeons floor.
"I don't like that idiot Headmaster getting so damn close!" Snape's mouth twisted.
"Then free Potter! That would end the frantic search!" Draco laughed bitterly.
"You should stop using, it has made you stupid! Once golden boy leaves your room, he'll prance about telling everyone about how Snape and Malfoy kept him hostage for almost three days." Snape nodded in agreement. No, they couldn't just let the boy go. Draco was right. Draco was always right. Snape had turned into one of Draco's puppets, he didn't realize it while it was happening, not so much, but Draco was slowly driving him literally insane until he really couldn't think for himself. He was a mindless automaton who had a dependency on heroine. And Draco had a dependency on blood. Draco might have well bitten Snape.
The rain is a bit heavier now and there is thunder. It frightens me. I don't like being by the window, but I can't leave it. I want to be in my room. Why are they making me stay here! I want to go back to my room, were I'm safe. My room…And that other man, he keeps staring at me. Like he wants to eat me. He scares me too. I hate him.
"… And as a result of years of beating and rape, my son hates me! But I was just scared to show my son that I cared, I didn't know how to express my love because my father never showed me any." Lucius would have started to cry, only, he was made of cotton, so he couldn't produce any real tears. I looked at him sympathetically.
"I understand. Have you ever tried telling Draco how you felt?" The red marks from where the duct tape hade been were still around Harry's mouth and he was still tied up to the chair, but Draco had loosened the ropes a little. He was sort of enjoying himself. Lucius was always interesting to talk to, and Snape gave the weirdest speech after he shot up the other night. And, he barely wanted to admit it, Draco, when he wasn't blatantly insane, was very pleasant to talk to.
"But I'm too proud to tell him, besides, it's too late, he would never forgive me." Harry's mouth fell into a sad smile and he sighed.
"Yes, but wouldn't it be a little bit better, even just for you, if you told him that you were sorry, and you loved him all along?"
"Albus, please. Why would I want to kidnap Harry Potter?" He's tired, I can tell. I won't let him squeeze anything out of me. But I silence my thoughts, he is about to retort:
"Because you are really a vampire who needs blood and you lust after Harry's." I'm shocked. How did he find out about me? A little off with the story, granted, but still! He laughs lightly.
"I'm only joking Draco, I didn't mean to insult you. Of course you're not a vampire. Death Eater's dislike vampire's almost as much as they hate Muggles." It was an exaggeration, however, it is true that Death Eaters dislike Vampire's.
"Are you implying that I am a Death Eater?" raising an eyebrow for affect. He leans back in his chair, running his fingers through his beard. He looks at me through his crescent moon shaped glasses. It looks as if he is about to say something wise and deep.
"If the shoe fits." I hate him. If he didn't look like all his blood were already sucked up and smell the sole of a new shoe, I'd kill him and have his blood for brunch. Gee, I hope he can't ready minds with his gloopy eyes that are always staring.
I wonder if I need permission from Draco to leave my office. I never did before, but he seems tense as of late. I don't want to upset him, but I desperately want to see Lupin. I've been clean for a whole day. I think I am starting to go through withdraw, again. The terrible summer. I know for a fact Lupin must be off much worse though. He'd been clean for two days! Two whole days. I'm oddly proud of him, even though I want to find him, shot up with him, and have sex. Yes, lately that was our idea of a date. Very romantic.
Harry is still talking to Lucius. I need to find Lupin. I need to have a hit. I need to have him.
"I hate funerals, what about you?, they're so sad." Who was this lady. I needed to get to the restrooms. Funeral food sucks. The wine was cheap, but I drank my bloody fill. She had blond hair and seemed vaguely familiar. She was wearing gold earrings. Big, gaudy, fake gold earrings, with, what was most likely, a plastic pearl glued in the middle. I take another glass of wine. She wants me to take her home. I can tell, she is putting on such an act. He is staring at me, but he is staring at the rain too. I excuse myself, promising to come back later, my blood warmed with wine. It's still raining. The sky seems to be closing in on us.
"Fancy meeting you here." Draco leaned against the wall opposite of Snape. "Going to see a certain werewolf." The full moon was three days away… And with Severus in the state he is, it didn't look like the wolfs bane potion would be brewed, nor would Draco be getting any blood, well, not from Snape.
Snape looked terrified for a moment, Draco found this comforting, Snape should be afraid of him, after all, he owned Snape.
"I was, I wasn't… Lucius is with Harry, so it's okay.. I won't ever leave again, I just need to see him. So badly." Draco grinned. Snape never stuttered or rambled. He was cold and direct. However, he was a bit surprised. Draco never once told Severus he couldn't leave on his own accord.
"Sevvie, don't worry. I don't mind at all if you see him, you can leave your offices when ever you feel like you need to! Just don't forget with whom your loyalties lay." I watched under a trained eye. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. He bowed to me and said:
"Oh, well, thank you. Then if you don't mind, I'll be off to see Lupin." Ah, there was the Snape I knew. It was said with dignity and purpose, though his eyes did betray him, it was nice to see Stable Snape again.
It happened again today. God my life is so fucked up. And it hurt worse the second time, I thought maybe it wouldn't, but I was naïve. Next time I'll push him away and say 'no', it won't happen again. Or maybe I'll just kill my self and the people will gather around and say 'Pity, he was a great shag.'
I didn't know what to expect, except, I didn't expect this. After I left Draco in the hall, I felt lighter, knowing that I still had a little bit of control over my life. Of course, I'm fooling myself, but it's nice to pretend that I'm in charge again. So with this new sense of pride I felt a bit, dare I say, Jolly. Finally my silly stutter was lifted and I swept away from him without worrying if I had upset him. I could have skipped to Lupin's room, however, then I'd instantly lose the little dignity I had just gained.
I opened the door, 'sunshine, I'm back, how are you…' and there he was. On the floor, practically drowning in his own vomit. At first I panicked. He was dead. He was dead! Oh my god! But he wasn't. I actually had a rational thought and took his pulse. I wanted to blame Draco, this was a set up that he planned to make me completely his, but I knew it wasn't. I knew it was because of the needle and the empty plastic bag. He overdosed, damn it! That idiot. He has been using for years and now he decides to overdose.
I want to go home. I want to go to my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room. I want my room.
"Harry, how are you?" I look into his green eyes. I had previously unbound him and he was sitting on Snape's bed. He has on a clean shirt and pants, freshly showered. I can tell he is happy, lost all the itch he once had to leave this room, I've made him content. He smiles at me and replies:
"I'm fine Draco, how are you?" His legs swinging back and forth, back and forth.
"I'm fine. What have you been up to all day?" He rolls his shoulders and arches his back slightly, closing his eyes. "Hmmm, not too much. I showered, talked to your father, watched Snape talk to nothing… what did you do?" I licked my teeth, lingering on a fang. There was a lingering taste of blood.
"I fed." Harry's eyes snapped open. He knew Draco didn't get any blood from Snape, so he must have gotten another student. Harry peered at his keeper through thick glasses.
"Who?" He was anxious for the answer. He sat with excitement and terror awaiting Draco's reply.
"Colin."
"Creevy?" Harry didn't know how to react. He felt an awful pain thinking of what Colin went through. 'Did his corpse look anything like Pansies?'
Was there ever a normal moment? Was there ever a hug, a gentle touch? Some form of love? Maybe that's the way I am. Sad and sadistic. When did I become like this? I've always wanted it like this, everyone afraid, waiting for my next move. But inside me it has gotten to the point where I can't think, I can hardly function any more. They say the insane don't know they are insane, like the man who thinks God is telling him to collect roaches and sacrifice children, but I know I'm insane.
Draco watched as Snape dragged Lupin's body into the room. Draco wrinkled up his nose in disgust.
"You smell like vomit, Snape." Severus looked at him with a nervous expression and replied:
"It's Lupin that smells, he overdosed." Harry's eyes widened as he looked at Lupin's pathetic form. 'Lupin uses?' he thought quietly. Draco looked at Lupin with a sad smile.
"Well, don't you have the needle*." Snape went to the back of his room, Harry followed with his eyes.
"I didn't know Lupin used." I pondered out loud, hoping Draco, who seemed to know a lot about a lot of things, would indulge me with the answer. He looked up from Lupin and looked at me and sighed.
"Yes, he's a very heavy user, has been for a while. He was the one that got Snape hooked in our third year." I'm surprised, from what I saw in my third year, Snape despised being with Lupin for more then a few minutes.
"But doesn't Snape hate Lupin?" Draco laughed at my curiosity.
"Curiosity killed the cat you know." Wagging his finger at as one would do to a child that had been misbehaving. I looked down.
"Yes, I know."
"Snape doesn't hate Lupin. He is quite smitten with Lupin." Snape, who had returned, glared in Draco's general direction. He obviously didn't want me to know.
He is rocking back and forth now. Still staring out that window at the damned rain. But now he's rocking and people are staring. I feel bad for him, he probably doesn't even remember why he is here or who this funeral is for or why he was chosen to perform the eulogy. I knew him once. He was strong then. I don't know him anymore. Not after I stopped fighting and he lost the will to live. We drifted. That woman is coming back. She's laughing. At him… I want to hit her, but I don't, I want to hit him, but I don't. I just take another sip of my wine and move throughout the party.
I watched emotionless from the corner. Snape took the needle and prepared and was ready to bring Lupin back, except he couldn't get his hand to stop shaking. Harry looked confused and Lucius looked like a cow. I smiled a bit. Snape steadied his hand and plunged the needle into Lupin's chest, drain the medicine into him. Lupin jerked awake, his eye's wide and mouth hung open. The needle was still sticking strait out of his chest, but he didn't seem to notice yet. No, Lupin wouldn't die tonight.
Hermione was irked. No, she was more then irked. Pansy, found dead. Harry, missing. Colin's, missing, and now Lupin! Dumbledore keeps questioning Draco, but gets no where. Ron is no help at all. He swears he is next on the list and hides in his bed with all the curtains drawn. The trio was split, the school in a frenzy and Draco just standing there, looking so smug. It looked like it was time to take matters into her own capable hands! It was time to crack this case wide open! Hermione stood up with new found determination and stormed out of her dorm in search for the only person who could explain all on the: Draco S. Malfoy.
"Okay class, the Headmaster has made it mandatory that a teacher is with you at all times between classes, so here I am." Snape looked miserable. Not only did he have to watch these stupid Gryffindors and Slytherins, but he had been up all night with Lupin. They both swore to each other that they would stay clean, but Snape doubted that that would happen. Draco was leaning back in his chair, smiling. Smiling at a brown haired girl coming toward him with determination in her eyes.
"Tell me Mr. Malfoy, were you surprised that he committed suicide?" Draco took a slow drag on his cigarette, letting the smoke out slowly. Leaning back he replied:
"Not really, he really had nothing to live for."
"What about Snape?" Draco frowned, "Wasn't he close to him?"
"Snape was dying on the inside. He had no control over his life, he could see that. They both could see that. That's why Snape's in St. Mungo's and he is dead." The man sighed and leaned forward a bit, looking Draco in the eyes.
"Wouldn't you say you were to blame? That you twisted these men into what they became…and what about Harry-" Draco growled.
"What about Harry? You can't blame me for what he did! And Snape and Lupin, they were so deep in heroine, I didn't do that."
"Where is Harry?" I put my hands on my hips for effect, to scare him into thinking I knew everything he knew.
"I don't know." He thinks he is so smooth, that he can pull the cloth right over my eyes.
"No, I think that you do know where he is! I think you know what happened to Pansy, Colin's, and Harry! I think that Dumbledore wouldn't be asking you all the time if he didn't have solid evidence that you are behind all of this!"
"All of what Miss Granger?" Draco folded his hands on his lap and stared at me. It was fucking unnerving.
He is playing with her. He is going to take her around in circles. Round and round. That is what he does with Dumbledore. That is what he does with everyone. Pansy is dead. Colin's is dead. Harry, Harry has lost his mind and Lucius won't shut up about what a horrible parent he is. We all know that he was a terrible parent! And Draco keeps going in circles around all of us! We are all his god damn puppets. This whole entire school is in his sickly pale hands! He needs blood, I can tell…
I look up and there he is. I don't remember his name, but his face looks too familiar. He opens his mouth as if to speak.. And then he does speak:
"The funeral is over Severus. You can go back to your room now." How does he know my name?
"I can go back to my room." I repeat, my eyes search his face, his cold gray eyes and deathly pale skin.
"It's over, it's all over. Now you can go back to forgetting. You'll never have to remember any more." I look at him through confused eyes. He is so cold.
"You don't remember now do you! You don't remember me and you don't remember him, and you probably don't even know why you are here."
"I can go back to my room."
Harry looked at Lucius. The cow was ranting on and on about something that had to do with Draco. Something that had to do with him and Draco doing things that fathers and sons should never do. Not that Draco had a choice in the matter. The pain sounded exciting to Harry. He closed his eyes and fantasized himself in the position that Draco had been in. Harry envied Draco. He knew deep down this was sick and twisted, but he couldn't help it. All his life he had played the part of the victim and hated it, he wanted to be free of pain and hate, but somewhere in his brain all sensible thought's snapped off. The idea that pain is bad clicked off.
Dear Diary,
Today Lucius hit me. That's all and only once. Granted it did hurt, but it wasn't too bad. I always thought that he hated me because of the way I looked. That I was too effeminate to be his son, because all of his co-workers who came to see him said to him when they saw me "Oh, what an adorable daughter you have." and he would sit there, embarrassed, telling them that I was his son. But no, he doesn't care about that. He told me. He just hates me. No reason why, just pure hate. "Since the day you were born I couldn't stand the sight of you! You just made my skin crawl and made me so angry! And it confused me. Why did I hate my only son so much, but I did." That's what he told me. That was his reason.
Draco Malfoy
"Hello Headmaster, you wanted to see me?" I looked at Dumbledore in an annoyed type fashion. He had the girl here with him. Thought that maybe having two on me would be more affective. God I'm hungry.
"Yes, Draco, we are still concerned that you know something about all these disappearances." Hermione looked at me with a smug look on her face. As if I hadn't heard this all before.
"Well." I waited quietly for their response. Albus ran his fingers through his beard.
"You've been acting very peculiar as of late. Like you are hiding something."
"I have nothing to hide. Why have you only been questioning me? What about all the other students and the other professors? What about all the Death Eaters and Voldemort! Have you forgotten about them?" He looked angry and tired.
"Just tell me where Harry is damnit!" I had never heard so angry, so desperate. He was scowling and was red in the face. Hermione looked a little shocked herself at his out burst.
"Temper, temper Albus, I'll tell you where he is…" Albus's eyes light up, the mud blood didn't know what to do. I finished my sentence "…When I find out." He dismissed me after that.
I took him back to St. Mungo's in my car. The truck was following us, just in case he got out of control. The rain was still pouring and he was still staring. He was as dead as Lupin. It was sad, sad to see a grown man so torn apart. The world is cruel. I'm cruel.
It was splashed all over the papers. 'HARRY POTTER KILLS CLASS MATE!' the world sits in shock. He murdered her with a knife. He stabbed he over and over, laughing the whole time. He made no secret of it, he walked right into the Great Hall with blood all over him. Everyone thought it was his own until he announced:
"There is a bit of a mess in the Gryffindor tower, Flich. It seems I killed Hermione the messy way." Then he proceeded to sit and eat a plate of mashed potatoes with gravy, a wing of chicken, and a roll with butter. He was taken away to Azkaban later that evening.
"When did you release him?"
"A week after I took him hostage. He really put up a fight to leave… Wanted me to rape him, or at least that's what he kept saying. I didn't like that. I didn't want to be like my father. You know he killed her for me. Snape had stopped getting me blood and I was starving, I kept taking students lives, he wanted to help me. So he killed her. Well, it doesn't matter, I never got to drink her blood and now I am here with you." The man smiled and replied:
"You're free to go Mr. Malfoy, the government will make sure you have a case of blood each week, we thank you for your cooperation." Both men stood up, Draco extended his hand in a business like manner and the other man shook it. Draco left the office quietly.
"Harry, get up! I'm letting you go." Harry mumbled something in his sleep. Draco grabbed his shoulder. "Harry, I said wake up and leave! You're free! And don't go into the restroom." Harry looked up at Draco.
"I don't want to leave, and what's in the bathroom."
"Lupin, Lupin is in the bathroom and you have to leave. Go now!" Harry continued to protest.
"Hurt me Draco. Take me! Please!" I didn't want to go back out there. I knew what I was saying must sound horrible, but I needed it. I was addicted to pain. Every time he hit me, kissed me, bite me… But he kept shoving me out the door. I saw Snape over in the corner. His eyes were huge and he was rocking back and forth.
"Lupin is in the bathroom! Get out! Snape.." He shoved me out the door thrusting my stuff into my hands.
"I'll get you anything you want! Just hurt me! Do you want blood, I'll get you lots of it!" But it was too late. I was talking to a door.
Draco leaned against the large wood door and breathed:
"No. This had to stop, I won't become my father. I won't become my father."
The End
*Think of Pulp fiction when they "jump start" her by shoving a needle in her chest. That is what they do to Lupin.
This is the End. If you DIDN'T UDERSTAND THE ENDING READ THIS: In the end Draco realized he was becoming too much like his father, that Harry begging for all this pain was disturbing and the final snap was Lupin's body hanging in the bathroom. All the random thoughts were Draco's diary entries and all the funeral stuff, that was Snape giving the eulogy and Draco watching. Why did Draco go free in the end? I don't know, I just like Draco, plus he has a way of manipulating people. And why did Harry kill Hermione, because I wanted to kill her off. Lastly, what happened to Cow Lucius? He travels now.
