Title: Maybe Sometimes
Summary: A 300ish word drabble. Short, yet effective methinks.
Rating: PG-13 for slightly darkish themes.
SS/HP implied.
R/R or I might go and sob my pretty li'l eyes out and that isn't exactly a good thing. ^.^ Teehee.
Journal,
Somedays I don't know what I'm even doing anymore. Am I
even worth all the attention? Bloody Boy-Who-Lived-But-Should-Have-Died and all
that? Sometimes Ron tells me how selfish I am to be me. And sometimes Hermione
tells me I need to study more, or I'll never get anywhere in life. But Sev
just... sometimes cares. He doesn't nitpick, he doesn't scold No, he scolds. But only when I really blunder something up.
Sev grounds me. He keeps me me and not someone everyone else needs me to be. And
I need that.
Maybe I don't want life anymore, maybe I don't care about my future Hermione. Maybe
I really am selfish, Ron and maybe I should stop wanting to be human, to be
loved.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I should stop. Just stop. And me be something. Something that isn't the
Boy-Who-Lived.
Sometimes I hate myself and sometimes I
think I hate this journal too. It's my life, at least since the Tournament.
At least since I killed
Cedric. The blood
keeps pouring out. Out of my soul and out of my life. And
onto this page.
And sometimes I'm not me.
And I want to stop it all.
But Sev's there. And he stays there. For me. And that's what I need.
Someone for me. Not money, not fame, not influence...
but love. Someone who loves me because I'm Just Harry and not
an icon, not a savior for our world. And sometimes it helps.
And the pain doesn't kill me bit by bit
so quickly when I know that Severus loves me.
And he does, you know. He really loves
me. I don't think I'm going to do it now that I think about it.
Now that I think about it, Sev loves me
and I don't want to lose that.
I'm not
going to jump.
-H
Journal,
I woke up this morning and realized
something.
I'm loved.
-H
